Would you rent from a friend?

[frugalone]

Hi, folks--Haven't been on the forum in ages! But I just want to throw this out there:

A friend of mine (not a particularly close friend, but someone I worked with and have known about 20 years) has a house coming up for rent. It costs more than we pay now, but almost anything would cost more as my landlord raised the rent once in 18 years. That said, the property has become less desirable with a pesky neighbor situation, and moving looks better to me--except for the money part!

Anyway, this new place is located about 3 doors down from where my friend and her spouse live, and if I am not mistaken, right next door to her elderly parents' home. It's literally on a main street (by that I mean, Main Street in our town), and I'd have to pay 2% more local tax to live there.

My concerns are these:

1. You know how they say, never hire a friend, or buy a car from a friend? Well, how about renting from a friend? I do not want anything to affect our relationship. Also, we have mutual friends and I don't want it to spill over into those, should something go wrong.

2. Would she and her husband possibly assume we will be socializing with them? I work second shift during the school year, so that might put the kibosh on that sort of thing. But my spouse and I are kind of the types who keep to ourselves. We don't have friends or relatives over. Which leads me to #3

3. We have a clutter and housecleaning problem (borderline hoarding). Which is why people do not come to our home--we do not ask them too. At the very least, we would have to keep the exterior area of the home spotless. Currently, ours is not. There's junk on the porch, for instance. This would require a major lifestyle change. I'm not really into cleaning. You would not get a disease in my house, there's no piles of animal poo or anything like that, but it's very very dusty.

4. Do you think the parents might be a problem? Her dad is quite ill and may not live much longer. We both like to listen to music and watch movies pretty loudly, which is why we don't want an apartment. Our landlady's mom used to live next door to our current home, and she was always spying on us.

5. I wonder about the traffic--how big a problem will it be? It's close to a busy intersection. I live near an interstate and a main street with a traffic light now, but there are times of day when it dies down. Not sure about this locale.

What do you think?

Thanks for listening!

[Teacher Terry]

With everything you have written I think it is a very bad idea. I would not endanger a friendship I wanted to keep.

[catherine]

Yeah, I see a lot of red flags. If you wanted to move and had NO OTHER CHOICE, then I'm sure you could make it work, but why strain a friendship when there have to be plenty of options in which you could be a relatively anonymous tenant. The discomfort with your housekeeping style, the dad next door, the traffic, the possible expectations to be more "social" than you would like.. . Yeah, unless the apartment is an unbeatable deal, I'd say no.

[nswef]

Looks as if NO is the best answer for you.

[freshstart]

as far as the socializing goes, since you aren't particularly close now, I wouldn't expect that to change, especially with you working second shift. But the other reasons sound like valid 'no's' to me.

[frugalone]

Actually, we don't have a lot of choices. The only reason we've stayed in the house we're renting now is that we don't have the money to buy or rent another one. She's asking an extremely reasonable price and is willing to negotiate. She could easily get more money for it. Houses around here rent for quite a lot.


Yeah, I see a lot of red flags. If you wanted to move and had NO OTHER CHOICE, then I'm sure you could make it work, but why strain a friendship when there have to be plenty of options in which you could be a relatively anonymous tenant. The discomfort with your housekeeping style, the dad next door, the traffic, the possible expectations to be more "social" than you would like.. . Yeah, unless the apartment is an unbeatable deal, I'd say no.

[freshstart]

if you don't have a lot of choices and she is willing to negotiate, you can probably make the other stuff work. Is it worth it to you to have a nicer place than you could ordinarily afford to be willing to keep the outside relatively tidy? As for the inside, don't landlords have to give you notice before they come in? With regard to the in-laws, just keep it cordial, keep walking as you're saying hello, lol

[nswef]

This sounds as if it would be stressful and I can see her becoming frustrated that you don't keep the place as trimmed in the front...If yard isn't your thing, your level of stress will rise. It doesn't seem worth it to me.

[razz]

From what you have posted, it sounds as though the challenge is not so much the friend as are you willing to change to make it work? If not, it will be a disappointment to both parties with some long-term repercussions. Can you face that possibility?

[Simplemind]

If you think of her as a friend, if you think of her as only an acquaintance I would not rent from her. It sounds like you have your own quirks that you have not willingly addressed (hoarding) and may have difficulty doing in the future. Please don't put them through that.

[ToomuchStuff]

From your post, no I wouldn't rent from them.
In my life, however, I do have a friend, who has a bunch of rental properties. I wouldn't have a problem renting from him, as I wouldn't be dealing with him directly, but his company and multiple people I know in it.

[Tybee]

I think if I were you I would not; this sounds quite stressful.

[frugalone]

These are lifestyle changes that I would really like to make. The location worries me a little (right by a traffic light at a busy intersection), plus I would have to pay a higher local tax. Lots of pros and cons.
We have another friend who owns several rental properties but would not rent from him. He's really in it for as much $$ as he can get out of it, so no bargains there.

[catherine]

Speaking of the "bargain" rate vs "fair market" rate. Do you think there would be any part of the relationship that could be strained because they knew you were getting a deal from them? Like, would their expectations be higher because of that, even subconsciously? What would be their motivation for giving you a deal in the first place?

Just playing Devil's Advocate. It sounds like you'd really like to move there for practical reasons, and you are rightfully questioning some implications.

[frugalone]

I'm guessing she would negotiate because we are friends. That said, they are charging less than most people would for a single house. I believe some of this is because neither the kitchen nor the bath are "modern," i.e. clawfoot tub in bath. She also inherited the house, and so this is basically a cash cow for her.



Speaking of the "bargain" rate vs "fair market" rate. Do you think there would be any part of the relationship that could be strained because they knew you were getting a deal from them? Like, would their expectations be higher because of that, even subconsciously? What would be their motivation for giving you a deal in the first place?

Just playing Devil's Advocate. It sounds like you'd really like to move there for practical reasons, and you are rightfully questioning some implications.

[Tybee]

But what about the other issues you raised, like the question of whether you can maintain the property to her satisfaction? That is why I thought you were feeling stressed.

[Float On]

I'm guessing she would negotiate because we are friends. That said, they are charging less than most people would for a single house. I believe some of this is because neither the kitchen nor the bath are "modern," i.e. clawfoot tub in bath. She also inherited the house, and so this is basically a cash cow for her.

I'd never call a house a "cash cow" houses require upkeep and repairs.
1. Has she ever been in your current house?
2. Prepare to have your rent raised if you are given a negotiated lower amount for right now.
3. Prepare to have your 'friendship' change.
4. Prepare to have your rent raised.
5. Do not assume because you've had a friendship that that'll give you allowances as far as rent due date, etc.

[frugalone]

Thanks, everyone, for your opinions and input.

My current landlord definitely has a cash cow. They inherited the house and have done little or nothing to maintain it over the last 20 years--unless an emergency happened (i.e. roof leak, dead water heater)