Changes in the Rest of Your Life from Using the Kondo Method

[ejchase]

Hi Everybody,

I have been putting off reading Kondo's book ever since it came out simply because I'm more on the brink of being a hoarder than just a messy person, and I thought it would be too discouraging. But after starting reading it today, I can see the total logic in it. It's just that "doing everything in one fell swoop" in my house would mean taking a month off of work and all other responsibilities, which I can't do. Nevertheless, I am on a reduced work schedule this summer and have, actually, been doing what she says you must do first: discarding. And I've been able to do it in long sessions. And I can see that once I'm through with that, that I will be able to sort things by category.

One thing I love in the book is the idea that changing your home will change your life. I've always totally believed that my hoarding issues were, at bottom, a spiritual issue, and that when I tidy, I'm doing a kind of spiritual work. I mean after all, getting rid of what you don't need and arranging what is most important in the way that makes the most sense to you seems to be, to me, the essence of living a good life.

I'm curious if any of you who have done so much Kondo-ing have noticed significant changes in other areas of you life. Hearing about them sure would be inspiring!

[Yppej]

Getting rid of the DVDs my ex boyfriend left here over 3 years ago has been cathartic, and amazingly he has stopped contacting me. Coincidence?

I have to be careful though. The Bible talks about a woman who finally cleared her house of a devil and it saw the house swept and cleaned and returned with 7 spirits more evil than itself. So it's not just getting rid of bad energy but keeping it away by changing underlying habits and not just the surface level of things.

[Tammy]

I greatly reduced the items hanging on my walls a few years ago. Pictures, paintings, etc. now there's only have 7 in the whole house.

Now it's things that are meaningful to me instead of things that someone gave me so I felt the need to display it.

I feel like my house is mine - not someone else's museum or display case.

This makes me feel:

More able to say no
More empowered when visitors stop by
More confident in who I am without needing to explain or defend

[Teacher Terry]

Now that my home is less cluttered I feel calmer and I want to clean more often because it is so much easier. I too only kept those things that have real meaning to me. I slowly donated my porcelain doll collection to silent auctions for medical care for people in need. I am down to 2 dolls that I am keeping. I sold my curio cabinet and donated everything in it to Husky rescue which resells the items through ebay.

[Geila]

We're enjoying our house so much more. It always looks clean because there's no clutter. And when it's time to clean, it's so much easier. I find that it's made me really focus on what is important to me right now and put my energies towards that.

I also have much more energy to pursue things that are not house/clutter related. When my house was cluttered, my mind felt cluttered and tired from all the energy that the clutter represented and drained from me. In a real sense, clutter is a depressant for me. So that's a big one - it has relieved me of a depression-inducing burden.

[ejchase]

I realized I could answer my question by just reading the "Trying out the Konmari Method" thread below. Thanks to all of you who chimed in there and here. It helps to hear from people who have already been through this.

I'm feeling a bit discouraged today. I did 40 hours of decluttering when I was on a reduced work schedule in winter and am halfway through another 40 hours this summer when I am also working less, and it just feels like it will never end. It feels like I have gotten so-o-o much stuff out the door and I look around, and there are so-o-o many piles to go through just to make the place presentable. I'm not even tackling clothes and books yet because the floor of my bedroom, the hallway, and the desk in the guest bedroom are all piled with crap I haven't dealt with. Sigh.

Okay. Thanks for letting me vent.

I'm going back to it now!

[Yppej]

EJ if you aren't already can you play music while you work or anything to help?

[ejchase]

Hi, Yppej, I am playing Baroque music while I work. I read somewhere years ago (maybe on this site?) that that helps, and I find it does, though sometimes I have to turn it off when I really need to concentrate.

I am regrouping, have a plan to focus today on tasks that will help me see progress (just posted the specifics in the 40 hours thread). But I so appreciate knowing all of you who understand are "out there!"

[Teacher Terry]

If I lived by you I would come help:)) I actually have helped some of my friends do this and it was fun. Keeping working and one day you will notice a huge difference.

[nswef]

EJ, I admire your determination and willingness to change. I do hope your time today lets you see all the progress you have made and gives you courage to continue the process.

[TVRodriguez]

Keep on trucking! It's so worth it.

Last summer, I took a week off of work and did a great amount of Kondo-ing in that week (clothes, books, papers, bathroom adjacent closets), and then my home sat half cluttered and half organized for months. It was better than it had been, for sure. A few months later, I got a chance to do several more days of Kondo-ing (CDs/DVDs, kitchen, some other stuff don't remember what, along with some kids' stuff), and that made things even better.

My life is easier overall because of the work I did in decluttering. I used to lose so much time just finding things that had somehow gotten lost or buried under other stuff. It's so much easier to get ready to take the kids to the beach, for example, because I know exactly where the beach towels and goggles and sunscreen and water bottles and beach/tote bags are. All those things are kept in different places, and each of those places has been decluttered. Hence, pulling them all and putting them all in one bag takes me minutes instead of an hour. And I don't get distracted halfway through!

My husband and I get along better. I used to get mad at him if he moved things b/c then I wouldn't be able to find what I was looking for. But when things have a place, both of us gravitate towards putting that thing back into its place. Kitchen scissors, for example. When I decluttered the kitchen, though, I left the one kitchen shears in the one utensil drawer, in a specific place. Lo and behold, DH and I both put it back in that place b/c it makes sense and is easy to find.

I have more quality time with my kids. And I'm teaching them to keep their things more orderly.

Don't get me wrong. My house still has a LOT of stuff. You'd know I'm no minimalist. But it feels more open and bigger. I feel more comfortable in my own house. I got to keep as much of everything as I loved--no false limits on how many clothes I can have.

And I haven't even finished, technically. I haven't sorted memorabilia or several other small categories. I let my kids keep way too many toys. DH's tools could stock a small hardware store. But even so, my life is definitely better.

Keep on trucking.

[ejchase]

Teacher Terry, you've been helping quite a lot!

Nswef and TVRodriguez, thanks for your kind words and encouragement, and TV Rodriguez, it helps a lot to hear from someone who achieved a lot (but not everything) in increments and saw some positive changes.

[Yppej]

I've gotten past the easier stuff and am now tackling things that are painful reminders of loss - lost job, lost relationship, lost youthful looks - items as varied as old paystubs and Victoria's Secret lingerie.

[danna]

Hi there I haven't had a chance to read the whole post so I may be repeating something already posted.

I thought it would be too much at first but, there is some point in the book she says it could take up to a year.

So I thought that made a lot more sense for me....I have followed her advice to do one type of thing at a time.
To the point of doing all bedding, all DVD, all table linen you get the idea and at first I thought it would not make a difference
but, my house is so much more organized that I am much more diligent about putting things away...And, lo and behold it stays neat that way

[Teacher Terry]

I think it is a long process. A few cross country moves with a family of 5 got me to downsize but then stuff built up again. Then about 12 years ago I realized I had too much stuff and would go in spurts getting rid of stuff. I did this off and on for 7 years and then the last 5 years I have been ruthless mainly because I found I feel better and also if something should happen to me I don't want to burden my kids with tons of crap. Then I realized that I appreciated the stuff I did keep more and also that it was faster to clean. When I read the Kondo book I honestly thought I had nothing left to get rid of but using some of her method I realized that was not true. Also our local humane society holds 2 rummage sales a year so I like to have stuff to give them too. I did not put all my clothes in a pile on the floor. With a big time shedding dog I would have had to rewash everything even though I am constantly sweeping. For some reason this summer is the worst it has ever been. Probably because we had a real winter for once and now it is really hot. His coat probably got thicker this year. Ugh! I love books but for me the books have been going slowly over time. I have about 20 left. Recently I pulled 20 from my collection and my friends took all but one. I emptied totally the closet in my office which is small and got rid of everything but now it is full again. But the reason is because I was able to put a file cabinet in there and other stuff that I had just sitting around. Also my friend's Mom was getting rid of a few things I knew I would use like a folding single bed that has super thick cushions and just lays on the floor. That takes a far amount of space but I knew my kids could use it when they have company but they have no space to store it. Also my friend and i have a few things that I store that is hers and we share it. I wish I wold have done this when I was younger. Sometimes I think about the $ I wasted buying things that I had to dust and then eventually giving them away. Now before I buy something I ask myself if I am going to be hauling it to Goodwill in a few years. Also I no longer exchange gifts with people. Instead we celebrate by going out to eat or doing something else fun. That really helps to keep the things coming in down.

[pony mom]

I did a lot of Kondo-ing over the past few years. My bathroom counter has nothing on it, my horizontal surfaces have less stuff, my underwear is still neatly folded and stored the way she says, I love all of my clothes, my health/beauty stuff is down to the minimum, I could go on and on. Cleaning is much easier.

Two years ago a riding accident left me with a frozen shoulder, which made me give up my job as a massage therapist. I was burned out and tired of it anyway, got rid of a lot of my books, sheets, stuff I wouldn't use again (still have my table though). Found a job that I actually enjoy now.

I think MK is onto something when she tells you to gather and organize "like things together". I thought my bathroom stuff was really minimal, until I saw it covering the counter and floor of the bathroom. How in the world did I get all this stuff? I have a pixie haircut-----will I ever need a flat iron, butterfly clips and hair elastics again? Used up all the shower gels and soaps I wasn't crazy about and treat myself to handmade goat's milk soaps.

I rarely buy anything anymore if it means I'll look forward to the day when I use it up. Buying in bulk the things I regularly use (dental hygiene stuff) just made my closet crowded. I've got summer and winter sheets, three hand towels for the bathroom, basic makeup, three shades of nail polish that I rarely wear. The books I kept fell into one of two categories.

My parents and I went through hundreds of photographs. We kept very few. My sister and I have no children, there aren't many family members we are close to, and many of the people in the photos were strangers to us.

There are still a lot of things to get rid of. Baby steps.

[Williamsmith]

I did a major downsize from a four bed three bath ranch a little more than two years ago. After purging about 75% of my stuff, I squeezed into a two bed two bath condo.

The experience of learning just how much I had accumulated and how hard it was to plow through and rid myself of all of it was mind blowing. I truly felt like a weight was removed from my shoulders. But I hadn't read Marie Kondo until I was already downsized. It was then that I did a second purge. And I learned that "tidying" was a spiritual process. It required me to actually hold a piece in my hands or mentally hold it and see just what joy it provided or didn't provide, and then removing things from my life became a desire.....not just a need.

This is where it got sticky for me. I've been married for 34 years. My wife began to ask me what I was doing, she noticed how I was doing it and she started questioning the need, the methods and the affect it would have on her. Because a lot of the "stuff" leftover was jointly acquired "stuff". She really has a clothes fetish. Especially sweaters and shirts. Now she is collecting nice pottery.

Anytime I purchase something new and bring it into the house...something goes out. But she has a different opinion and so I struggle with the need to be clutter free while she seems to get comfort from adding things.

I think being a minmalist is list is much easier if you are single.

[Teacher Terry]

WS: yes it would be much easier if single. I have been getting rid of stuff for a long time but my DH is the opposite. So I limit his stuff to his office, shed, garage and his storage space in our bedroom. That way our main living area is calm and peaceful. When I got rid of my curio cabinet and everything in it he did not like it but it was mine to do what I wanted. Everyone who came in commented that my living room looked bigger. Marriage is compromise:~)

[Gardenarian]

I'm buying and wanting less stuff. I have a much better sense of what I actually want to bring into my life.

My daughter has jumped on board, but not dh (who has t-shirts and albums from junior high.)

I'm becoming more of a connoisseur of all sorts of things, and that's fun. I'm also making more things for myself because I seldom see anything that really sparks joy in me (though I perhaps enjoy shopping more and honing my selection skills.)

[TVRodriguez]

Here's an unexpected benefit. I was able to pack up my kids and myself to leave Miami this morning and I knew where everything was that I needed, including the homeowners and flood insurance coverage papers. Plus clothes and toys and books for each kid. And snacks etc.

[Yppej]

Getting rid of the stained medium sized Tupperware containers has me using the smaller ones that are left, and I believe the portion control in my brown bag lunches is helping with my weight loss.

[catherine]

I did the books purge, out of order (you do clothes first, then books), because the library was having a book sale. I haven't gotten to the clothes, which will be the next Kondo event.

My neighbor of 32 years moved out just yesterday to be closer to her son in Texas. We sat in her house the night before she left and she talked about how stressful it was getting rid of things. She gave stuff away, she left stuff on the curb, she called 1-800-JUNK.. she said it was just awful.

Then there's me--dying to move up to Vermont but held back by the knowledge that it will take me a few months to get the house in shape to sell, and then after I sell, I'm faced with The Grand Purge. I'm petrified. I am NOT good with details, organization, or decision-making. I'll be like those emotionally paralyzed people on Hoarders who just sit there and stare at one piece of paper trying to defend keeping it.

I think Kondo is the way to go. It feels like the most efficient, least stressful, way of just putting one foot in front of the other.

ejchase, you are doing the right thing! Please do it, and inspire me so I can get up to Vermont before 2022!

[dado potato]

:) After reading this thread I logged on to the local public library and got Marie Kondo's "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up". At the same time I got Fumio Sasaki's "goodbye, things". Maybe it could be a guy-thing, but I find his discussion of minimalism more applicable in my life than Marie Kondo's. I am into Day 2 of discarding junk, and I find it liberating. At the present my goal is to discard excess stuff from spaces that are considered "mine" as opposed to "shared" in the home. Then if the result is aesthetically pleasing, there is the possibility of Dear Wife emulating me or wanting to know more about it. Then maybe she would be interested in Marie Kondo. But DW's first reaction to Kondo's book (which she looked at while a passenger in the front seat of our car) was to roll her eyes.

[nswef]

dado, If you are like I am, there is plenty of your own stuff to clear. That's how I've been looking at things. Once I get my spaces all clear only then I can complain about my husband's stuff.

[dado potato]

nswef, I am with you there.

Marie Kondo wrote in "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up" that she made the mistake of disposing of family member's excess stuff that had been in a communal storage closet in her home. While she was successful in discarding a few of their items unnoticed, she was eventually reproached by family members. She uses bold type to say: To quietly work away at disposing of your own excess is actually the best way of dealing with a family that doesn't tidy.

"Find your own minimalism... There is no single correct definition of a minimalist." - Fumio Sasaki

Sasaki goes on to discuss a certain Mr. Numahata, who says minimalism has led him to buy a car, which is his mobile means of making time to be alone. Mr Numahata reduced not only his stuff, but also "his unnecessary interpersonal relationships".