What would you do? (sorry, really long)

[rosarugosa]

I have a career dilemma here, and I would welcome your input. I work in a dept of 40 people, where I am one of 6 supervisors. We are kind of a training ground for entry-level talent, and we are a feeder pool for our functional division of the organization. I used to be an administrative support supervisor, but my job has evolved to one where I'm managing entry-level professional employees.
This year, my job took a quantum leap and my team is responsible for far more processes of greater complexity. I would say I am handling the transition competently, but if I could really excel, I would most likely see a significant jump in grade and pay.
If I haven't put you to sleep yet, here is my dilemma. I'm working 11-12 hour days and just barely keeping my head above water. I am still responsible for some employees from the admin realm, and my manager is encouraging me to let them go, and she will assign to another part of the group. These employees do tip me to where I have a higher headcount of direct reports than anyone else in the dept, and additional direct reports certainly take more time and energy.
The thing is that these employees and I actually love each other (I am truly fond of my entire team), and I've been supervising these particular employees for over 10 years. The department is composed of almost all millennials, but these employees are a bit older, and I am the only older supervisor in the department (I have the only age diverse group in the dept with Boomers through Generation Z high school interns - yes, I have a couple of those too) . I think if they were reassigned to another supervisor, it would make them feel abandoned and it would certainly make me feel like I was letting down people who count on me.
It sounds sappy, but I think managing people is a sacred trust of sorts, and I think managing people with patience and compassion is my calling. I don't want these employees to feel like I've let them down. On the other hand, I am the primary support of my household, nearing retirement age and I can't pretend that extra income potential isn't important.
It feels like my options are: keep plugging along as is/slow and steady wins the race, let the employees move to another team, or work longer days to try to excel. ( I also acknowledge that letting the employees move on is no guarantee of excelling, it would just free up some of my finite personal resources). What would you do?

[bae]

A thinking tool I have adopted recently, after having buried two elderly parents in the past year:

- My life is finite
- I try to cast myself forward into time into my 90-year-old-self. When I'm 90, and relaxing on the sofa, what will I look back upon with fondness? What will I be happy that I spent my limited time on this Earth on? What will I have forgotten, or not care about, because it simply didn't matter? What will I regret having wasted time on?

I then try to limit most of my time expenditures in the present to those things that Future Me will be happy about.

[razz]

A thinking tool I have adopted recently, after having buried two elderly parents in the past year:

- My life is finite
- I try to cast myself forward into time into my 90-year-old-self. When I'm 90, and relaxing on the sofa, what will I look back upon with fondness? What will I be happy that I spent my limited time on this Earth on? What will I have forgotten, or not care about, because it simply didn't matter? What will I regret having wasted time on?

I then try to limit most of my time expenditures in the present to those things that Future Me will be happy about.

Then I try

+1

[Yppej]

If you were no longer their supervisor do you think they would still come to you as a mentor, taking up your time regardless, albeit less because you wouldn't have to do things like reviews?

[Lainey]

If you were no longer their supervisor do you think they would still come to you as a mentor, taking up your time regardless, albeit less because you wouldn't have to do things like reviews?

This is a good point. If you're still there then they can contact you as needed, or even catch up over lunch. So you can still be in touch for a few things here and there but you won't be supervising them directly, if I understand it correctly.

Are you feeling anxious that your replacement(s) will do a crappy job?

If it were me, and I were near retirement, I'd take the pay raise and bank it. The time will go by quickly.

[mschrisgo2]

My suggestion is for you to let go, and let them be reassigned. This will allow a couple of things to happen. You will have more time to excel and get your pay raise, and I think you willl be pleasantly surprised how focusing on just one area frees you from stress. And two, these people will get to see that they do fine without you as their direct supervisor, may well use you as an informal mentor/friend, and they will have a much easier time when you retire. Ten years is a long time in today's work world. Gradual transitions are less stressful for most people.

[ToomuchStuff]

A thinking tool I have adopted recently, after having buried two elderly parents in the past year:

- My life is finite
- I try to cast myself forward into time into my 90-year-old-self. When I'm 90, and relaxing on the sofa, what will I look back upon with fondness? What will I be happy that I spent my limited time on this Earth on? What will I have forgotten, or not care about, because it simply didn't matter? What will I regret having wasted time on?

I then try to limit most of my time expenditures in the present to those things that Future Me will be happy about.
+2


If you were no longer their supervisor do you think they would still come to you as a mentor, taking up your time regardless, albeit less because you wouldn't have to do things like reviews?

How would you feel, if you found one of them wanted to move up into supervising the group, based on your being their supervisor and them learning from watching you? Would you still want to remain their supervisor and put a halt to that?
In other words, talk to them. They may be happy to see you going for better things, and their may be someone there, who wants to try to move up as well.

[Gardnr]

Only you will take good care of you. Take these relationships out of the picture. What is good for YOU?

I've worked those hours. No one will ever stop you.....except you! If your tank is drained dry you have nothing to offer.

Time for a sitdown Pro/Con list for each choice! I know what choice I made but I can't tell you what to do.

[Tammy]

The most emotional part of promoting is leaving behind the people that you supervising your prior position. I've gone through this twice. But each time someone who reported to me has moved up to take my place when I promote it. And they're both doing really well. It's a good thing to keep moving on and it's also a good thing to always try to have someone who can step into your shoes.

[razz]

After thinking about it for a bit, it reminds me somewhat of feeling that way about my children. What is it about the employees that you are supervising that you feel will not be able to handle the change in supervisors extremely well. Why do you see them as crippled without you?

Would I want them to hold themselves back for any reason for me?
Sounds like a cruel question to ask but it is not.
I had to keep doing this question analysis to myself to remind myself that these children of mine are capable, wonderfully intelligent people who will thrive if I was out of their lives at any point. Your supervised staff are capable intelligent people who will thrive and they are not leaning on you as a crutch in their lives.

[Chicken lady]

From the viewpoint of a teacher - i see the words "support" and "training" in your job description. If they still NEED you after ten years - it would seem you are not very good at your job. My students move on. Sometimes i cry. But i am not their mom. And even with my children, my roll changes.

[rosarugosa]

Thanks everyone, I appreciate the input. Just to clarify, there isn't really a bad supervisor in the department, at least in my opinion. I do actually have the pleasure of working with a whole bunch of great people! So I don't have to worry about them transitioning to Simon Legree or anything like that. And I would of course be a friend and mentor to them for as long as they might want me. I think I'll let my manager know that I'm OK with whatever she thinks is best, and I'll make sure these employees know I'm a friend and mentor for them regardless of any changes that may come in the reporting structure.

[rosarugosa]

From the viewpoint of a teacher - i see the words "support" and "training" in your job description. If they still NEED you after ten years - it would seem you are not very good at your job. My students move on. Sometimes i cry. But i am not their mom. And even with my children, my roll changes.
Um ouch, Chicken Lady. I've had a lot of employees move onward and upward over the years, and I would like to think I've helped them on their journey. But not everyone is cut from the same cloth, and I had different hiring criteria when I was staffing an admin support team from now when I 'm hiring the leaders of tomorrow.

[Chicken lady]

My point was, if you are good at your job, they will be fine with another supervisor. I wasn't trying to insult you, i was trying to point out that after ten years, they should be able to do their job without specifically you. Because you shoud have taught them what you can teach them by then. Or, they are particularly dense and you are investing too much time enabling them to be in a job they shouldn't have. Which, if you hired them and they are still there when they shouldnt be, also points to you needing to let that part of your job go.

Not saying this is the case! You implied that you are good at your job. I don't have any other way of knowing, but i'm willing to believe you. if you are good at your job - they don't need you, right? They might miss you, but they don't need you.

[rosarugosa]

OK, you are right CL. I'm sure they will be OK without me; it is going to be more of an emotional impact thing.

[razz]

OK, you are right CL. I'm sure they will be OK without me; it is going to be more of an emotional impact thing.
Your personal warmth on each future encounter will reinforce your support of each and every one. Never underestimate the value of positive confirmation and validation that we each need from others.

[catherine]

When I was a supervisor I think my main "fault" as a manager was thinking of my direct reports as friends, and I supported them too much, I treasured my good feelings about them, and about the relationship we had. Frankly those actions and feelings were not "good business" either for the company or for me. It was like the psychiatrist who gets too emotionally involved in a client.

My husband was the same way and I would constantly remind him "your employees are not your 'friends. Their loyalty will only extend as far is it's doing them good to be in your workplace." He always took it personally when an employee quit.

My point is, try to think strictly selfishly. Try to keep your emotions about your direct reports out of it. If you were able to do that, what would you determine is the best thing for YOU. Ask if you are using your fondness for your employees as a security blanket or excuse for not transitioning to a higher level of responsibility? Ask yourself, as bae said, what is important to you in the long term, and which path will get you there?

[Williamsmith]

I like what bae said. Not because it gives you a method for decision making but because it describes for you the innate workings of the mind. I believe the mind is already making the decision, and you likely know which way you are headed yet you ask for advice seeking some reinforcement or a validation.

Your mind has stored all this input over the years of employment and nobody but you can truly know the rightness of your direction. It's true with snap decision making as well as ones which you have a distant deadline. When you act on it you will know the rightness of it. Even though there will be elements that are uncomfortable, you will know that transition is just a different path than staying the course.

I had many supervisors over the years and only one who tried to be both administrator and my friend. He was younger than me by just a few years but we both approached the job in the same way. We were good in the field but the internal rules and regulations were just "suggestions" when they got in the way of doing what was right in a timely manner.

I took assignments without complaint. He made my schedule tolerable. We socialized freely and we grieved together. We became brothers. He was the best supervisor I ever had and he is still one of my best friends. We would each stand in harms way for each other. I do not think that is a bad thing. So I salute your mentoring and your caring.

When I retired, he asked me how I knew it was time. I gave him some of my specific reasoning which included my outside interests, my feeling of wanted to move on to a different chapter, one with less stress, more partnership and quiet and calm. In short I said, I know deep in my heart and it is well with my soul. When it is time, you will know. He thanked me.

He is still on the job. He has a few more years and it will be mandatory for him to leave. Be happy for you, it is a choice. And know..that you will know.