my day just got significantly worse [Archive]

frugalone

11-2-17, 6:07pm

Yppej

11-2-17, 6:19pm

Maybe someday her new company will need someone and she'll bring you there. In the meantime I'm sorry for you.

frugalone

11-2-17, 6:39pm

Thank you for the nice thoughts, but it's a school in Cleveland and I don't think I'll be going there anytime soon.

It's just another incentive for me to get out of this department.

I thought things would get better when they moved a guy I'll simply call The Jerk to another area. But I'm not any happier. Less stressed out, maybe.

Maybe someday her new company will need someone and she'll bring you there. In the meantime I'm sorry for you.

Yppej

11-2-17, 7:09pm

Well if not that connection maybe another one. Keep networking.

herbgeek

11-2-17, 7:20pm

I'm sorry times are tough for you frugalone.

Float On

11-2-17, 7:47pm

So sorry. I'm feeling stuck myself. Need a change.

frugalone

11-6-17, 3:48pm

Thank you all for your kind words.

I know little or nothing about networking. I feel like I'm in a freakin' cage in this job. I can't attend social events because of my work hours. There is no professional association for library workers around here. So really, I don't see things changing much in the near future.

Since the library workers are paid the same as the clerical staff, perhaps I'll apply for an admin assistant job if one comes up within the university. I've been here 5 years and only once did something come up I wanted to apply for. And I chickened out. I lost most of my confidence in my ability to do just about anything other than sit here and check books in and out. They did a real number on my ego at my last position. One of the high points? I overheard a meeting in which everyone was trash-talking me and my work. VERY professional.

Zoe Girl

11-6-17, 9:02pm

oh frugal I so understand. It is hard enough to apply for jobs and try to make a change but when you have had your confidence trashed it is even harder. I know I am climbing out of the confidence pit myself and it is part of trying to make a work change. I also understand the work hours thing, I am on call 60 hours a week so it is hard to even have energy to do things after work, much less arrange to meet people or attend groups.

I don't know if Linked in is really effective but I am on that and gaining people on a steady basis. I have talked to some people in person, I am afraid of sounding needy when I say anything about looking for another job however. So not much help on networking, but the administrative assistant could be a good move. I think the hours would be better at least,

frugalone

11-7-17, 2:50pm

Thanks, Zoe Girl. Thanks for understanding.

Teacher Terry

11-7-17, 3:02pm

NOthing worse then being in a job where the atmosphere is terrible. So sorry you are going through this.

SteveinMN

11-7-17, 3:25pm

Tenngal

11-7-17, 4:57pm

Some of you may know from previous posts that my job has been a big disappointment and a letdown since I got it. For various reasons, I feel stuck here (as well as in my personal life) and cannot seem to make a change (esp. since I live in an area where there are few decent jobs).

Today I found out that my only friend at work is leaving to go to another job. She works part of the time in systems admin, and that part of her job will be taken over by someone that nobody likes.

The rest of the staff? Half of them I wouldn't trust as far as I can spit, the rest are really dull people with whom I have nothing in common.

I am going through such a hard time right now in my personal life. It's just been one thing after another, and now this.

Sometimes a job is just a job. It pays the bills. I have no close friends at work, most just can't be trusted. Work on being positive and start the networking as advised.
Look at Indeed.com and other job sites. Keep an eye open for those admin jobs where you are. My daughter has had a hard time finding a full time job. She interviewed over a year ago and was recalled a few weeks ago for interview and got the job. So, I guess even when we interview and do not get it, all is not lost. Sometimes they save the resume of ALL the ones they like.

frugalone

11-8-17, 8:53pm

Tenngal, yes, I've kind of come to the conclusion that work friends may not be the best idea. And indeed, this job is just a job. While I would be willing to accept an admin job, I feel very very disappointed that I spent 7 years in night school getting my BA, and the great job I thought I was going to get--the one that was going to get me out of the pink collar ghetto forever--just didn't work out for me. I did have a hot-sh*t job for 7 years and it destroyed my confidence in myself, and basically gave me a nervous breakdown after I was mercifully let go. I've always wanted to have that "fulfilling career" one hears about, but honestly? I think it's a bill of goods we've been sold. Let's face it: For centuries, most people worked so they could eat. The luxury of even choosing your job or career is largely a 20th century concept.

ApatheticNoMore

11-8-17, 9:19pm

The BA still puts you in a better position than not having it although that may not be obvious (ie even the admin job if you decide to go for it might choose you over someone who doesn't have a BA).

I've always wanted to have that "fulfilling career" one hears about, but honestly? I think it's a bill of goods we've been sold. Let's face it: For centuries, most people worked so they could eat. The luxury of even choosing your job or career is largely a 20th century concept.

yes that seems to apply more to the few than to the many even now, it's a 20th century concept for a certain socioeconomic group that thinks they can achieve it and maybe won't even then. But the many have always been peasants, and even if we manage to be peasants with ok salaries much is as it's always been. Work that is fulfilling simply isn't going to be what most people have.

frugalone

11-9-17, 2:27pm

ApatheticNoMore--that's one big reason I went for the BA. Figured it was better than not having it. Though for the job I have now, all the job specs say is "must have high school diploma." Depressing.

Had MORE bad news at work today. They are shutting down our building for 4-6 weeks this coming summer. There will be no electricity or AC. However, the kicker is: We'll still have to come over here to retrieve books for people. You know with construction, 4-6 weeks means more like 6-8. I can't even imagine how this is going to work. IMHO, they ought to just shut it down, lay us off for those weeks, and cancel summer classes. We hardly have any patrons during the summer anyway. I seriously mean it's like a morgue in here.

Trying not to worry about it because I really hope I'm working in another dept. by then.

EDIT: Wait, they said 4-8 weeks. And no one has any idea what's going on yet. Help...:help:

Teacher Terry

11-9-17, 3:26pm

What is your BA in? I got mine in psychology and could not do a thing with it so then I went to grad school for a degree which was preparing for a certain type of work.

frugalone

11-9-17, 3:35pm

What is your BA in? I got mine in psychology and could not do a thing with it so then I went to grad school for a degree which was preparing for a certain type of work.

English, w/a concentration in writing (as opposed to literature).

I was a writer professionally for more than 10 years. As I mentioned above, the last job nearly did me in. I think partly because they hired someone to wear three hats: place and track advertisements; act as a graphic design backup; and write stories and press releases.

I had no problem writing, but was a failure at graphic design. It was not until after I left the job, and took a course at a local college in graphic design, that I realized that it is a whole career in itself. You don't just throw projects at people and expect them to be able to design. The bosses at the job were asshats.

After I left, social media exploded and it seemed that every job I looked for wanted someone to manage social media for them. I've volunteered to do it at my current job, but they don't want me doing anything that is not in my job description. (I know, I know...) I now feel outclassed, outmoded and ready to be put out to pasture.

Teacher Terry

11-9-17, 3:42pm

What about picking up the classes you need to teach English? At the secondary level it is often only about 18 credits so would not take long. Most likely you would still be in the pension system that you are now. Graphic design is a career all of it's own. When I was helping people with disabilities return to work one of the things I did was evaluate them and provide career counseling.

frugalone

11-9-17, 4:07pm

I am incapable of teaching anyone. First of all, I have no patience and would likely snap out on someone. Second, I cannot stand teenagers (or college students, for that matter). Or any kids, to be perfectly honest. Teaching is the last thing I could ever do.

What about picking up the classes you need to teach English? At the secondary level it is often only about 18 credits so would not take long. Most likely you would still be in the pension system that you are now. Graphic design is a career all of it's own. When I was helping people with disabilities return to work one of the things I did was evaluate them and provide career counseling.

ApatheticNoMore

11-9-17, 4:09pm

Masters in library science might be the degree if you want to continue in libraries (you work in a library if I recall). Just throwing that out there, perfectly ok if you don't want to (and yes any 18 unit path would be quicker), as I don't think we all have the energy to endlessly reinvent ourselves our whole lives while keeping up all other demands in life. So merely an idea.

frugalone

11-9-17, 4:23pm

That was my goal, originally. Until I found out that library work is not about "loving to read" or "loving books." At least not anymore. It would cost me $20K+ and it's very very difficult to find a job around here (depressed area).

I also was enrolled in a master's program here and dropped on 2x. My anxiety issues make school very difficult for me, even though I was a good student.

And thank you for hitting the nail on the head: I don't have the energy to endlessly reinvent myself. This is my third career; I've been working since I was 18. Fourth career if you don't merge journalism and PR (both involved writing). This is why I feel so lost.

I keep thinking of the line, "I'm empty and I'm aching and I don't know why" from Simon & Garfunkel's "America."

Masters in library science might be the degree if you want to continue in libraries (you work in a library if I recall). Just throwing that out there, perfectly ok if you don't want to (and yes any 18 unit path would be quicker), as I don't think we all have the energy to endlessly reinvent ourselves our whole lives while keeping up all other demands in life. So merely an idea.

Teacher Terry

11-9-17, 5:07pm

Do you l have a lot of years left to work or are you near the end? There are some low dose meds that work great for anxiety. Many people develop anxiety as they hit menopause age due to all the changes in our bodies. Yes I understand reinventing yourself later in life. I had a MSW but after one of my co-worker's was killed by one of our clients I went back to grad school at 40 and changed careers yet again. I had 3 kids at home and wanted to be there for them. I have had 4 different careers. I did not even start my BA until I was 31.

San Onofre Guy

11-10-17, 8:59pm

I think that I will exit in May 2018 after 25 years at age 55 1/2

frugalone

11-21-17, 11:42am

Still feeling crappy about my friend leaving our workplace. I know I should be happy for her and the opportunity she has, but I just feel miserable and am finding it hard to even talk to her or meet her eyes when we speak.

She seems to be bubbling over with joy. Not that she was a crabby sort, ordinarily. Maybe it's my imagination.

ApatheticNoMore

11-21-17, 12:14pm

You don't know, I mean honestly unless you for whatever reason have a great knowledge of whatever position you are getting in before hand (say just switching departments maybe, if you know everyone in the new dept already) then what a job will actually be like is unknowable. I left my prior job for a "better" more ambitious position. I told my old coworkers it was awesome, it was at first. Now I'm looking for work. I'm not saying never take (well thought out strategic) risks and go for what you want or anything, just we don't always know who really has it better in the end. Of course if she has up and moved to Cleveland there may be better opportunities going forward regardless (but maybe higher cost of living). Of course it is natural to miss someone you like who leaves.

Sure it is probably overly competitive to feel jealous of her (and for all that it's not like she won a few million in the lottery or something, she merely got another job and jobs are seldom perfect no matter), but we feel what we feel, and it is a competitive world.

frugalone

11-21-17, 12:54pm

That's true; I don't know. It's like social media: you only know what you see.

I guess I'm a little miffed, too, because she just had a meeting with my boss about using some sort of calendar software. It's something I'm perfectly capable of doing/learning, but the only kind of work I get to do around here is grunt work. Like putting the little plastic letters on the signboard outside the library when the hours change. Instead of updating them on the web site. Everyone knows I can do this type of work. I'm vastly underemployed. I really need to boost my confidence to the point where I can find something that better meets my skills.