Being fat = being a failure as a person?

[Geila]

I've been watching the tv show This Is Us on my 30-day free Hulu subscription. I like most of the characters - loooove Jack Pearson! But I've been surprised at how much the Kate character bothers me. She's so whiny. I feel sorry for her poor boyfriend.

But the thing that's been nagging at the back of my mind is how much her character personifies the effect that obesity (and extra weight in general) has on a person's self-esteem and sense of personal agency. I think this stems from our culture's equation of fatness as a moral and personal failure. There's a real stigma to being fat. A fat person is seen as less-than, and in no time at all, that person sees themselves that way too. And pretty soon Everything in life is viewed as a response to being fat. You can't hide being fat.

I've struggled with extra weight various times in my life. And during those times I always fantasize about how wonderful my life will be AFTER I lose the weight! As if weigh loss, or being thin, conferred magical powers. And it might, if you're a model or rely on your physical looks for your livelihood. But for most of us? Does being thin really make that much difference in the big scheme of things?

Now that I'm older, for the most part I don't care what people think about me. As they say, I don't give any F*CKS. Or at least many less than I used to. But watching Kate's life revolve completely around her weight is so depressing (depressing enough that it's making me not want to watch the show anymore). And I don't judge her for it, I think it's how many people feel about being heavy. It's just incredibly sad. The loss of so much life to that one relatively unimportant detail about someone's life.

I remember my gorgeous young niece calling herself a fat cow because she was till carrying an extra 15-20 lbs after her second child. It was such a harsh judgment against herself and it made me feel sad for her.

I'd like to hear your thoughts on this.

p.s. I couldn't think of a clever title.

p.p.s. Kate is not merely heavy, she's morbidly obese and I realize that does present a whole of problems and challenges in terms of mobility, health, and quality of life. For Her. The question that I'm asking is: why do we equate the condition of obesity with personal failure or lack of worth in a person? After all, we are not the ones who have to suffer the consequences of being fat or obese. Why do we, as a society, feel the right to judge people for it? Enough so, and harshly so, that the condition results in crippling shame for those who suffer from it?

[Williamsmith]

I can only tell you my cynical take on it. The food industry, which I believe is mostly responsible for the chronic obesity in the United States....would rather its customers believe it is their own gluttony that causes it....rather than the toxic products that the food industry sells for profit. Easier to blame you than to sell healthy food. It’s a real shame.

[iris lilies]

I have been watching junk tv and have seen several of the “My 600lb Life” episodes on Youtube. Their struggle is so hard.

I go up and down in sizes so I can relate sort of, but then not so much sometimes. It is too bad that reality tv highlights these people. I wonder if they get paid? I always wonder about the source of income for people on this show. Because they dont leave their house, they dont have a job. Although one person DID have a job as a teacher. She earned my respect for getting up every day and doing the little bits of walking that she was able to get through the day. It must have been exhausting for her.

And then there are the villians who are so very juicy as centeal characters for this exploitive show. The young man Stephen at 700 lbs and his younger brother at 550+ were tv gold. Good Brother and Bad Brother, and Stephen played that to the hilt. But now that his time in the limelight is over, I wonder how he is holding up.

[catherine]

I can only tell you my cynical take on it. The food industry, which I believe is mostly responsible for the chronic obesity in the United States....would rather its customers believe it is their own gluttony that causes it....rather than the toxic products that the food industry sells for profit. Easier to blame you than to sell healthy food. It’s a real shame.

+100

[Rogar]

It seems like I have been on a diet most of my adult life. Mostly I'm in the upper end of my recommended weight range, but have dipped over into heavier categories at times and I can't remember a time when I haven't been concerned about my weight to some degree or another. I don't think it entirely just the food industry's fault, but some of us metabolize foods differently and there are naturally thin and naturally heavy people. There is also a culture of food that we've grown up with or in the region where we live. Then there are people with genuine eating disorders. Point being that for some people and for many reasons loosing weight can be really hard. It's still a worthy goal to keep trying at for health reasons alone.

[rosarugosa]

I am so fortunate to have only looked at this issue from the other side since I have been pretty lean my entire life (and I agree with Roger that this was due to genetics or metabolism or something hard-wired in me).
I used to have a young female employee who was very obese, and didn't have a first boyfriend until she was in her thirties. I found it depressing that even though she was pretty, smart, funny, kind, and talented, none of that apparently was enough to offset the obesity. If she had been evil incarnate in a sexy body, she would have had plenty of boyfriends.
Our society does really devalue people who struggle with their weight, especially women.
There is a book of short stories by Elizabeth Berg, "The Day I Ate Whatever I Wanted: And Other Small Acts of Liberation." There is one short story in there about the point in time when a little girl's sense of self is irrevocably changed by realizing that she is perceived as fat, rather than the somewhat magical being of infinite possibilities she had always perceived herself to be. I found it to be a powerful story when I read it many years ago.

[Tybee]

Our society does really devalue people who struggle with their weight, especially women..

I agree! I think the thread title is accurate assessment of our society, at least for women. Unfortunately.

[catherine]

I'm a Project Runway fan and I was pleased to see that this year they had all size models. A size 14 can be just as fashionable and beautiful as a size 2--I think they did a good job this season proving that. Dove has also embraced the "all-size" culture.

At the same time, I would hate to minimize the potential health risks of poor eating choices leading to metabolic syndrome and obesity. There's a difference between being a healthy endomorph and being unhealthy because of lack of exercise or overconsumption of processed foods and carbohydrates, causing insulin spikes and inflammation.

But to Williamsmith's point, I think bad food policy, corporate marketing of "bad" foods, and lack of attention & time to eat properly has sabotaged us and changed us. I believe we take responsibility for our choices, but the deck has been stacked against us for a few decades now. It's like asking an alcoholic to live inside a liquor store. So "failure" isn't the right word.

[SteveinMN]

Fat = failure? I think a lot of people see it that way, the same way they see poverty as a moral failure and not as the result of an environment that all too easily reinforces it. "Well, if you just ate less and exercised more..." is right up there with "Well, if you just worked harder and spent less..." And it's hard to hide either condition.

A couple of other posters mentioned the quality of food in the U.S. as a cause of obesity; it's worth noting that more people than ever are overweight despite the ready availability of artificial sweeteners and "100-calorie packs" of food, and that heavily-processed grain-sourced food is far cheaper and available in so many more places than whole fresh produce and protein. More of us work at desk jobs and engage in hobbies that don't require much physical work in places that don't encourage people to walk or play/exercise outside. And I think our scientific understanding of our own bodies is evolving; look at the failure (and persistence) of expert-recommended low-fat high-carbohydrate diets in improving our collective health because we don't yet know enough about cellular nutrition.

I also believe that we're just scratching the surface of how much our individual medical histories are tied to nature versus nurture. There are reasons why some people are more prone to chronic conditions, like heart disease, diabetes, dementia, and cancer, that go way beyond simplistic observations like "you eat too much fat" or "my aunt and grandmother had this illness". Millions of people are overweight or obese; they're not all diabetic or even pre-diabetic. Billions of people get old but don't suffer from dementia. It surprises no one that some conditions run in families or certain ethnic groups, but we really don't know what triggers it in some members of those groups and not others.

In the meantime I think fat people endure a form of discrimination that is not illegal but still exists. Someday, after all of us are gone from here, that kind of discrimination will look like racial discrimination looks these days. And we'll have a much better idea about why obesity happens and what may be done to avoid it.

I will say, however, that, IMHO, Kate's story in This Is Us is not being told well. Randall's life seems to get a fuller treatment, with the flashbacks showing the events in his childhood that helped make him who he is now. Neither Kevin nor Kate seem to get that kind of introspective screen time and their flashbacks don't seem to go beyond their childhood insecurity and angst to illustrate why they are who they are now. It's a great show but that's my frustration with it.

[BikingLady]

I would be interested in understanding what triggers a person to feel weight is the basis of happiness. At a young age I would look at Twiggy type models and my mind would equal that to beauty. This was not caused by the magazines or advertisements, I just looked at the super thin as beautiful period. Why would I think that at a young age? My family were all of average weight, there was no focus on weight. Yet when I got to the teen years comments flew all the time Your too thin eat something. Actually that fueled my fire to thinner instead of the outcome they wanted.

[Geila]

Fat = failure? I think a lot of people see it that way, the same way they see poverty as a moral failure and not as the result of an environment that all too easily reinforces it. "Well, if you just ate less and exercised more..." is right up there with "Well, if you just worked harder and spent less..." And it's hard to hide either condition.

I will say, however, that, IMHO, Kate's story in This Is Us is not being told well. Randall's life seems to get a fuller treatment, with the flashbacks showing the events in his childhood that helped make him who he is now. Neither Kevin nor Kate seem to get that kind of introspective screen time and their flashbacks don't seem to go beyond their childhood insecurity and angst to illustrate why they are who they are now. It's a great show but that's my frustration with it.

Very true, both statements.

I notice that the actors playing Jack, Rebecca and Randall are first in the cast list, so I guess their characters are more prominent in the series. I do like Randall a lot. He's my second favorite character. And based on some new episodes, he'll probably tie with Jack. But while I find myself enjoying the other characters and wanting to know more (William is wonderful and Kevin is delicious to look at), Kate's character is just unappealing to me. I want her to stand up and ROAR!

[Geila]

At the same time, I would hate to minimize the potential health risks of poor eating choices leading to metabolic syndrome and obesity. There's a difference between being a healthy endomorph and being unhealthy because of lack of exercise or overconsumption of processed foods and carbohydrates, causing insulin spikes and inflammation.


I read somewhere that while we think fat/obese people are the biggest drain on healthcare, that the biggest drain are athletes because of the propensity for expensive surgeries, physical therapy, and treatment that sport injuries require. Even for non-professional or competitive athletes. And ironically, I can attest to that. I'd never had an xray, MRI, or anything until I started trying to be 'fit' and injured myself. I broke my big toe, damaged my foot arch - twice! - and damaged my knee. All of these injuries are on my right side. I gave myself plantar fasciitis, which appears will never go away, and damaged my knee pretty good, and I'm sure I'll have that pain for the rest of my life.

I believe eating disorders that lead to obesity are a subset of stress-related coping mechanisms. Similar to hoarding, depression, anxiety, etc. I don't think they can be controlled by a desire to 'eat right' because they are a symptom of a problem, not the problem itself.

[Geila]

I have been watching junk tv and have seen several of the “My 600lb Life” episodes on Youtube. Their struggle is so hard.

I go up and down in sizes so I can relate sort of, but then not so much sometimes. It is too bad that reality tv highlights these people. I wonder if they get paid? I always wonder about the source of income for people on this show. Because they dont leave their house, they dont have a job. Although one person DID have a job as a teacher. She earned my respect for getting up every day and doing the little bits of walking that she was able to get through the day. It must have been exhausting for her.

And then there are the villians who are so very juicy as centeal characters for this exploitive show. The young man Stephen at 700 lbs and his younger brother at 550+ were tv gold. Good Brother and Bad Brother, and Stephen played that to the hilt. But now that his time in the limelight is over, I wonder how he is holding up.

I wouldn't be able to watch this. Too painful to see people's disorders and struggles presented as entertainment. Can't watch Hoarders either.

[Geila]

I can only tell you my cynical take on it. The food industry, which I believe is mostly responsible for the chronic obesity in the United States....would rather its customers believe it is their own gluttony that causes it....rather than the toxic products that the food industry sells for profit. Easier to blame you than to sell healthy food. It’s a real shame.

WS - You're reply reminded me of something I read in a book a couple of years ago, and I haven't been able to find it so I can reference it. But I'm gonna keep looking.

[rosarugosa]

I wouldn't be able to watch this. Too painful to see people's disorders and struggles presented as entertainment. Can't watch Hoarders either.

Geila, You make a good point. I can't imagine there would ever be a show presenting someone's struggles with chemo treatments or bi-polar illness as entertainment.

[Yppej]

I guess you all don't watch a whole host of things then, including a lot of documentaries, Greek tragedies, and the show Intervention.

[dado potato]

Fat = a highly pejorative label.

I never watched an episode of "This Is Us", but this discussion thread is thought-provoking.

The food industry (with a few fascinating exceptions such as a nearby Co-op and many of its suppliers) operates on the profit motive. There are countless examples. Consider General Mills, maker of Cheerios. Original Cheerios had 1.2 gram of sugar per cup. In 1979 the company introduced Honey Nut Cheerios, containing 9.7 g sugar per cup. In a few years HNC became the top-selling cereal in the US, and I understand that it still is. Mind you, product promotion played an essential role, with television advertising on Saturday morning cartoon shows. General Mills paid the Heart and Stroke Foundation to give a "Heart Healthy" endorsement to Cheerios on the basis of the soluble fiber content. So grownups may regard HNC as a healthy benign choice.

Of course there are better choices! Steel cut oats contain even more soluble fiber, and no sugar unless the consumer puts it there. To porridge the consumer can add real nuts {walnut pieces are fantastic, as are hulled sunflower seeds}, in contrast with the "natural nut flavor" in HNC, which is processed from the pits of peaches and apricots. One particular brand of steel cut oats in national distribution is a product of Bob's Red Mill Natural Foods, founded in 1978 by by Bob Moore and his wife Charlee. In 2010, at the age of 81, after receiving 3 buy-out offers one week, Bob Moore decided to give the business to his 209 employees through the structure of an Employee Stock Ownership Plan.

If a person has a goal of healthy weight, as I have since 2012, I believe it is not a matter of success versus failure, but rather a matter of progress (or lack of it ... try something different). The facts are friendly.

Not everybody needs to have a goal of healthy weight. For those who do, there is some variation in how "healthy weight" is defined by different authorities. I settled on a certain number of pounds. I would have to lose 10% of my weight to get there. After a little over 6 months I got there in 2012. I was happier about a number of things after dropping to healthy weight. It had nothing to do with emulating certain models. There were abstractions, such as longevity, to be happy about, as well as concrete and sensual aspects. It may have been "all in my head", but I felt more stamina on a bicycle or swimming, for instance.

These days I am back up to about 3% over healthy weight. I would not say I am unhappy about it. However, it is a deviation from the optimum. It is a fact that motivates me to make choices that I hope will lead back towards the optimum.

[Geila]

Some years ago, I was a size 12-14-16 depending on the brand, and wanted to look a bit more fashionable but was having a hard time creating a 'look' for myself and a friend pointed me in the direction of a curvy fashion blogger. Although her fashion style was not my thing, she had some articles and links to other plus-size bloggers and some of them were very interesting. Over the years, I've checked in on them now and then even though blogging is kind of dead now and most bloggers monetize and the blogs arefull of ads, which makes them unappealing.

Not that long ago, I read this article by one of those bloggers and it broke my heart. Can you imagine being on the receiving end of this on a daily basis?
http://authenticallyemmie.com/2017/07/this-is-me-existing/

I notice fat people being used as jokes in movies and tv shows. Openly ridiculed and shamed in public, even by family members. And for some, being told they are 'fat' is the biggest insult imaginable. And for others, calling someone fat is a quick way to put them down and feel instantly superior.

It doesn't compare to the social censure endured by smokers, their behavior is described as a 'bad habit' - heck even Obama smokes; alcoholics have a 'disease' and are worthy of sympathy and understanding. But being fat?

[SteveinMN]

I would be interested in understanding what triggers a person to feel weight is the basis of happiness.
Concepts of beauty vary by society. In Africa, some tribes acquire body piercings and gages to be "beautiful"; Westerners don't go for that to that degree. A few centuries ago, Western Europeans objectified people whom (collective) we now consider overweight -- people obviously well off enough to spend money on clothes and grooming and who obviously had more food to eat than they needed to subsist; Ruben's paintings are examples of this. I think the era when Twiggy epitomized beauty has passed in favor of a body shape more women can sustain but, for a while, it was "A Thing".

But the stigma against weight in Western societies remains. Public discourse includes plenty of comments ("jokes" and shaming) about peoples' weight; the kind of comments which would make people think of a person as insensitive (at best) if they were made about skin color or tics or malformed limbs or cleft palates.


Not everybody needs to have a goal of healthy weight. For those who do, there is some variation in how "healthy weight" is defined by different authorities.
A cynical part of me looks at the recent change in blood-pressure guidelines and wonders how much medical-industry profit has to do with it. By resetting the definition of hypertension as anything higher than "normal" millions of people are now exposed to the prospect of being encouraged to take (additional) prescription medicines (and additional clinic visits) to lower their blood pressue to the declared goal. I wonder the same thing about "healthy" weights. Years ago they finally modified the weight charts to differentiate among body types (endomorphs, etc.). How about other biological measurements? Or are the numbers where they are because that way insurance companies can charge extra and maximize profit?

One need only look at old pictures of the family to reinforce the idea that humans pretty much everywhere are bigger than they used to be, because of better pre-natal care and the greater availability of food, especially protein. In my mother's and grandmother's day, a woman who was 5'8" or so was considered quite tall. That's not so anymore. So is it possible that other body measurements have changed and not necessarily for the worst? Is it possible that, for some body types and/or ages, 140/90 is plain old okay? Will we ever know?

[pinkytoe]

Seems like over-weightedness should be acceptable by now when a majority of our population is that way. Something I noted when working at the university was that there were only two noticeably overweight people among a staff of 50 or so. At staff meetings and events, the food offerings were always "healthy" - no donuts, cake, soda, etc. In my little group, we always had to order food from Whole Foods and even then have offerings for vegans and anti-gluten folk. Blecchh!!

[Teacher Terry]

I can't stand to watch shows such as Intervention, my 600 lb life or hoarders either. I used to like Clean House but that show usually the homes were not disgusting but just tons of clutter everywhere. Hoarders I find disgusting because everything is so dirty and unhealthy.

[SteveinMN]

At staff meetings and events, the food offerings were always "healthy"
I'm trying to take the next step and bring "healthy" treats to potlucks and the like. The bonus is that I know there will be something there that meets my low-carb/high-fat way of eating (besides the ubiquitous wooden "baby" carrots and some sad-looking bell pepper slices sitting next to a tub of dill dip). I don't fuss much with vegan/gluten-free/dairy-free etc. because there already are restrictions on the temperature I can maintain for the food, eatability (many places we go are now specifying "finger food"), expense, etc. It would be much easier to buy a bag of pretzels or bake some brownies. But I have to think I'm not the only person who sees a sea of carbs at these get-togethers and wishes there was something there that was tasty and accommodating.

[iris lilies]

I'm trying to take the next step and bring "healthy" treats to potlucks and the like. The bonus is that I know there will be something there that meets my low-carb/high-fat way of eating (besides the ubiquitous wooden "baby" carrots and some sad-looking bell pepper slices sitting next to a tub of dill dip). I don't fuss much with vegan/gluten-free/dairy-free etc. because there already are restrictions on the temperature I can maintain for the food, eatability (many places we go are now specifying "finger food"), expense, etc. It would be much easier to buy a bag of pretzels or bake some brownies. But I have to think I'm not the only person who sees a sea of carbs at these get-togethers and wishes there was something there that was tasty and accommodating.

re: healthy treats to potlucks
Yesterday was our iris society’s Christmas party. We had the usual overblown food event, to which I took a large green salad. It was totally consumed. And, many of the greens came from our garden, as did the radishes and red onions.

But even better: we always play bingo at these events and people bring “small” gifts to use as prizes. I brought a bag of greens from our garden, washed and ready to eat. I marked them “picked this morning.” They sat on the prize table along with all of the cheap crap from China and a few nice things. Someone chose our bag of greens early in the game. Yay!

i was extremely lucky with my bingo cards and got to pull 4 items early in the game. I took home two poinsettias, a book, grabbed a book for a friend, and DH got a great tube of hand lotion. I avoided the gift bags full of plastic junk and chocolate.

[Geila]

Okay, Iris lilies, you said go ahead and speak my mind and annoy you guys. Here goes.

Guys, please don't turn this thread into a thread about "eating healthy." We all know what "eating healthy" means even if we each have our own version of it low-carb/vegan/veggie, etc... This thread was created specifically to discuss a very complex and disturbing issue in our culture. I appreciate the many responses that spoke to that and the discussion that followed of us trying to gain new understanding of it. I am deeply disappointed that not one single person has commented on the link that I posted about an actual person's experience of this issue. Did no one read it? Did no one care? It's hard for me to imagine reading that post and not having a reaction to it. Having people read it and have no reaction to it speaks to a lack of compassion and empathy that is difficult for me to fathom.

If you guys don't want to go deeper into this issue by trying to understand someone who lives it, that's fine. Disappointing, but fine. Let the thread die. But please don't turn it into a pointless discussion about "eating healthy." That will piss me off. In fact, it has clearly already pissed me off. Don't piss me off anymore.

[Tybee]

Geila, did not see any link in your initial post, but rather discussion of a tv show I have never seen as we don;tget cable.
Our culture idolizes thinness and punishes anyone who is not thin. It is very difficult to maintain any positive self esteem if you have a BMI over 25.
I agree with you that our culture is completely biased towards the thin, but I don't like words like "fat" and so was disturbed by your thread title, and I agree, this is not a thread about healthy eating.
Some of us who agree with what you are saying probably would prefer not to spend a whole lot of time down the rathole that is our culture's pleasure in body shaming.
So you may not be getting a lot of responses because people would prefer not to go there, since we live it all the time.

[rosarugosa]

Geila: I admit that I had not read the linked blog post, but I've gone back and read it now, so please don't be pissed at me anymore! :)
As a thin women, I sometimes struggle to know if I even have a place in this type of conversation. Insulting other people for being fat is awful behavior on a par with making fun of someone for being too thin, old, ugly, etc. I used to get the too thin stuff when I was younger, mostly for the lack of a bust. That doesn't really happen anymore though (and I still don't have much of a bust), and it definitely seems like heavier women are more likely targets for insults/ridicule.
I will admit to sometimes wondering about fashion choices, such as the current leggings trend, when not paired with a longer tunic top. This is a look that flatters almost nobody, certainly not anything I would wear, and when I see a really obese women dressed like this, I wonder about her fashion judgement, and then I feel bad and think I should perhaps be applauding her body acceptance instead. I would never say anything demeaning to another person about his or her appearance though. I like to think of myself as at least a somewhat civilized grownup.

[iris lilies]

I read the blog post on the link, and followed it up with her story of engagement, selling both houses, buying a house with her fiance. Happily Ever After, but I am sure she suffers from being fat.

If I dont provide the reaction that you, OP, expect, that is not my problem.

sometime in the past couple of years we talked sbout this issue here, and I remember an episode of Louis C.K.’s tv show being discussed.

He is now disgraced, of course, but back then we could talk about him. Anyway, he had a fat girl on his sit com show talk about what it was like dating. She had some interesting points. For one, she said that she could often flirt with and count on positive reaction from the best looking man in tne room because he, and everyone else in the room, knew it was all in good fun, he would never take her seriously. But in the Louis CK show she also berated Louis as an out of shape balding guy who refused to hold her hand in public, his own view of his status in relation to her was warped.

You can find this segment on Youtube.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFdWcNJ17YY



Edited to add correct link.

[iris lilies]

Geila, did not see any link in your initial post, but rather discussion of a tv show I have never seen as we don;tget cable.
Our culture idolizes thinness and punishes anyone who is not thin. It is very difficult to maintain any positive self esteem if you have a BMI over 25.
I agree with you that our culture is completely biased towards the thin, but I don't like words like "fat" and so was disturbed by your thread title, and I agree, this is not a thread about healthy eating.
Some of us who agree with what you are saying probably would prefer not to spend a whole lot of time down the rathole that is our culture's pleasure in body shaming.
So you may not be getting a lot of responses because people would prefer not to go there, since we live it all the time.
That show is on network tv, NBC to be exact. Just sayin.

edited to add

I know, it is strange to have an interesting, well reviewed tv drama that appears on network. That hasnt happened on years.

I havent watched it, am waiting for a dvd compilatiOn from the library.

[ApatheticNoMore]

I read it, I'm pretty normal weight but somewhat irrational on the subject and I know it (thought I was overweight even when I got down to a super low 98 pounds so .... never gonna be entirely objective on body image I think). That's all by route of saying why I don't have much to add.

Life is hard for those who don't meet societies ideals in various ways, I guess we can just hope we check off enough boxes of what the world wants to still have a decent life ...


He is now disgraced, of course, but back then we could talk about him. Anyway, he had a fat girl on his sit com show talk about what it was like dating. She had some interesting points. For one, she said that she could often flirt with and count on positive reaction from the best looking man in tne room because he, and everyone else in the room, knew it was all in good fun, he would never take her seriously.

this is silly, unless you are simply a head-turning *stunner* look wise and thus fine can date a young Brad Pitt or whatever your thing is, people tend to pair up with those who are fairly equal to them look wise.

[Tybee]

That show is on network tv, NBC to be exact. Just sayin.

edited to add

I know, it is strange to have an interesting, well reviewed tv drama that appears on network. That hasnt happened on years.

I havent watched it, am waiting for a dvd compilatiOn from the library.

Sorry, misunderstood where the show was located. We watch almost no tv anymore so yes, I am surprised I can actually get this show.
We never made the switch from analogue, and only have one tv that will get network now, and we rarely turn it on.

I should watch it!

[pinkytoe]

I went back and read the link which I somehow missed on the first pass. I don't even know what that show is. It is sad indeed that we shame each other for such things as being heavy. Old adage - if you can't say anything nice...

[Suzanne]

The blog post is very sad. I’m lucky enough to fall within the range accepted as a reasonable size, and that doesn’t stop me feeling better about myself on days when my jeans are looser. My MIL can judge my weight to the ounce, and constantly comments on it. There are days when I feel hurt - and it’s so irrational! I’m the same person at 126 and 132lb - my range.

The thing that really bothers me is this insistence on visible fat as a marker of personal worth and moral value. A person can be st the low end of normal weight and still be metabolically obese. Even thin athletic types can be diabetic - and, sadly, may go undiagnosed till the disease is far advanced because their doctors have the tight mental association between visually fat and diseased.

My mother and one sister are obese. I’ve heard some shocking things - like my mother getting a severe chest infection and getting a hairy lecture on her weight before being grudgingly given a prescription for antibiotics. Like my sister being lectured about her fat and her need to diet and exercise when she went in with stomach pain. She had an ectopic pregnancy. I’ve been with them in public places where strangers openly stared and made insulting remarks. A friend, whose blood pressure and lipid panels are excellent, and who runs two marathons a year, is regularly the target of people driving past in their cars, as well as the recipient of diet-and-exercise from the same doctor who regularly compliments her on her health markers.

What if all of us were to be judged by our health markers? Would the supermodel who’s a TOFI be ridiculed? After all, she’s FAT, possibly even metabolically OBESE! Would my fat friend who is metabolically healthy and physically active become a role model despite her ample rolls of flesh?

https://chriskresser.com/think-skinny-people-dont-get-type-2-diabetes-think-again/

http://www.todaysdietitian.com/newarchives/011211p14.shtml

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.womenshealthmag.com/health/type-2-diabetes%3famp

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/science/2006/dec/10/medicineandhealth.health

I saw a documentary on obese people that examined the family members. The image most starkly burned into my memory is that of the obese boy in a family where the other kids were normal weight. MRI showed that the skinny younger brother had abdominal fat of 30% - he was metabolically obese. I would have described this boy as thin - as in slightly underweight, a tad scrawny.

Given the evidence that obesity has been part of the human condition for about 35,000 years, it’a time that “fat” stopped being an insult.