What Do You Love?

[ejchase]

Hi All,

Last summer I had a total epiphany about my bureau, and I've been meaning to share it here and am just getting around to it today.

As some of you know, I'm a borderline hoarder. All my life I've lived with a lot of clutter and had a lot of shame about it. Over the last 20 years (Gosh, it really has been that long, hasn't it?), this group has helped me deal with that and slowly, I've made a bit of progress.

Last summer, in the midst of a "40 Hours of Decluttering" project, I read Marie Kondo's book and realized while I had thought a lot about getting rid of more stuff, I hadn't thought a lot about another big piece of advice she gave: keep only what you love. It made me realize that I'd spent most of my energy thinking about what I DIDN'T want in my living space (mess) but not about what I DID want.

The other thing I realized last summer was that I was focusing a lot on tidying and improving the spaces in my house guests would see and focusing less on my bedroom and my daughter's bedroom. I decided to change that and really focus on making our two bedrooms really nice, pleasing spaces to be in since we are the only two people here 95% of the time, and I wanted to send a message to her that having a pleasing home isn't about "keeping up with the Joneses" but about self-care.

I kind of didn't know where to start with my bedroom, but one source of stress was my bureau, which, ever since we moved into this house six years before, had mostly been covered with mounds of papers. I remembered as a kid my sister and I had had beautiful dresser scarves and jewelry boxes, and beautifully arranged dressers that were so pretty. I thought I wanted to have a dresser like that again. First, I just decluttered the dresser and put on it a jewelry box that I'd found years ago, but I realized I didn't really like it much. I then remembered a kind of jewelry tree a friend of mine had on her dresser that looked so pretty, and I had this revelation that I just wanted a pretty dresser scarf and a small red jewelry box (to bring out the red in the rug) with a lot of little compartments (which, I realized, was all I really need these days because the only jewelry I really wear often is earrings), and a few little trays and bowls for other things. I spent HOURS online on Etsy, on Amazon and other places looking for the right things, feeling guilty all the time, but after some trial and error (returning some things I bought, ordering others, etc.), I finally created a really lovely little space on my dresser to store the things I need there.

It was a total revelation. I can't tell you what it was like in the morning to wake up to this pretty arrangements of objects I love instead of a mish-mash of clutter. At the risk of sounding "New Agey," I feel like this one change totally changed the energy in my whole house because it taught me I can create something beautiful in my own home and it will nourish me. Sometimes paper still collects there, but usually not for long because I really make it a priority to keep that space nice just for myself. I've attached a picture of it - not because it's so astoundingly gorgeous to anyone but me, but just to share the accomplishment!

I'm wondering if any of the rest of you are thinking either about what you love in your home now or what you see around you (on Apartment Therapy? Or Pinterest?) that you love and want to create in your own home. Anybody else have "loves" they want to share?

[Tybee]

I love my new viola.

I love a turtle shell I found on my parents' farm, and a picture of all of us on the beach by our house, circa 1958.

I love of lot of things in my house, but these come to mind first.

[rosarugosa]

That is lovely, EJ! I love the jewelry tree, and the embroidered scarf, and it looks like the bureau itself is a wonderful piece as well, although I can only see a small bit of it in the picture. Are those oak leaves and acorns carved in the front? (Don't tell IL, lol, but I'm crazy about trees!)
This reminds me a lot of us keeping my mom's table clear and lovely and delighting in the accomplishment.

[ejchase]

Tybee, I can see why you'd love your viola ... I've been thinking about taking piano lessons (at age 51!) and part of it is the idea of just having a piano in the house.

I love the rest of your list, too. Specific photos in my house come to mind for me too.

Rosarugosa, thanks for your kind words. Yes, oak leaves and acorns - that dresser is a hand-me-down from my daughter's grandmother, who she looks just like, so it's special.

Yes, I thought of your mother's table too. If I had one piece of advice for any hoarder now, it would be to pick one room or even just one corner of a room and make it something you love and maintain it as well as you can. It really creates some very powerful and much-needed positive energy.

[nswef]

Ej , what a lovely accomplishment and how great that it is STILL looking lovely for you!

[herbgeek]

Anybody else have "loves" they want to share?

I love my dining room. That's also my office (I am a remote worker). On the walls, I have a number of pictures in various mediums from my artist nephew at different points in his career. I have a picture from one of his mentors who did so much for him. I have a picture my Dad painted (perspective is all off because he's just starting), and one my grandmother did many years ago that shows a scene of her backyard from before I was born. I have one picture I picked up at an art show just because its beautiful.

I have a china/curio cabinet with some collector cups and saucers edged in silver or gold given to me by my mother. They are beautiful, and tea is an interest I share with my mother. In that cabinet I also have some candlesticks my little brother made for me when he was 10 in my favorite color as a thank you for a weekend at my first apartment. There's also some hand painted wine glasses he made for me in his 20's, and a set of salt and pepper shakers the artist nephew made for me in college (his first sculpture).

On the table I have some doilies I recently tatted, and some larger-than-tealight- candles I got from Ikea in stainless and glass. On the chairs I have all different but related prints in very bright colors with a poppy motif.

I love this room, it reminds me of the people I love and colors that make me happy. When I'm having a crappy deal dealing with cranky people at work, I can look around and feel happier.

[ejchase]

Nswef: thanks!

herbgeek: I love your list! It sounds like you have an amazingly creative and loving family. How great to be surrounded by all those objects you have so many good associations with.

[catherine]

I love this room, it reminds me of the people I love and colors that make me happy. When I'm having a crappy deal dealing with cranky people at work, I can look around and feel happier.

I feel that way about my living room. I love the "built-in" bookcase and cabinets I lucked into at a yard sale. They're solid wood and they cost me $30 and they fit PERFECTLY between my windows (I did have to shave off 1/4" of the sill). All they needed was a coat of paint.

I love the secretary that was my great-aunt's.

I love the engraving of the ancient family that my husband brought home when he had had too much to drink one night. He paid $100 in 1982 and we were in the crapper. I was furious.

I love the beautiful undulating block print of a Vermont farm I bought from a local artist.

I love the big vase that we commissioned from a Benedictine monk. We had admired one at the priory, and we asked him to make one for us. When we asked him when it would be done, he put his fingers to his lips and said, "This is fall. How about spring?" He definitely taught me a lesson about time and slowing down!

I love the little Singer featherweight I use as a bookend. My great aunt taught me how to sew on it.

I love the old deacon's bench that used to be in the sunroom of the house I grew up in.

Those are a few of my favorite things. And that's just in the living room! As you said, herbgeek, (and I paraphrase):"When the dog bites, when the bee stings.." :)

Nice thread!

[Chicken lady]

Ejchase, your dresser is beautiful.

[Ultralight]

I have always loved tiny flashlights. Very useful items!
I also love key chain multi-tools. I use mine everyday.

[iris lilies]

I love my living room with its high ceilings and crown molding and built in bookcases and fireplace. The colors in our living room are silly, green and hot pink, but like the,. I adore one chest of drawers kept there, our tv sits on it. I think about that chest at least once a week.

I love our dining table. I also love my kitchen cabinets.

Currently I am loving the fact that in old age I can slurp coffee at night and it does not appear to affect my sleep. Not too long ago I couldnt drink coffee after noon or I was wired for the night, could not sleep.

[Williamsmith]

ejchase, it is so refreshing to see someone sharing such important thoughts about their most cherished objects. So many times, people involved in simplicity or minimalism seem to focus on what they are throwing out as a measure of ones maturation. When I think it is just as important to stop, I mean really take some time to appreciate what you have kept. Often I will just pick an object up and hold it in my hand. That sounds strange doesn’t it. Just writing that, sounds strange to me but when I do that or when I just look at something I love....it speaks to me.

I’m not talking about coveting a thing or holding on tightly to it, I’m just talking about appreciating it for what it is in this moment. The real test is, can you give it away knowing the next person would cherish it? Not that you have to give it away to reach some kind of religious experience. No, I mean, you want to share how the object makes you feel with someone else that’s going to appreciate it.....maybe even more than you.

These things fall in that classification for me: my father’s guitar, my uncles shotgun, a small penknife, a special guitar pick, two ink drawings a coworker gave me of my badge and of a trooper on a horse bringing back a handcuffed kidnapper. When I was a teenager I made a dry sink out of knotty pine all with hand tools. I gave it to my wife. I made an Amish style cedar chest for her also. And a hand made Christmas ornament for every year we’ve been married.

[Williamsmith]

I have always loved tiny flashlights. Very useful items!
I also love key chain multi-tools. I use mine everyday.

Get an Olight S1 Mini if you don’t have one. They have a clip so that you can mount it on the bill of your cap, it is about as small as a AA battery, it has a battery that is rechargeable by USB and the light it puts out will amaze you. Trust me.

[Williamsmith]

I love my living room with its high ceilings and crown molding and built in bookcases and fireplace. I adore one chest of drawers kept there, our tv sits on it. The colors are silly but I like them, green and bright pink. I think about that chest at least once a week.

I love our dining table. I also love my kitchen cabinets.

Currently I am loving the fact that in old age I can slurp coffee at night and it does not appear to affect my sleep. Not too long ago I couldnt drink coffee after noon or I was wired for the night, could not sleep.

IL.....don’t you think it’s about bedtime? >8)

[jp1]

I love our second bedroom, which I use as my "den". It's just a plain box of a room, and not even a big one at 8x12 feet, but it's got all my furniture from when I was young and single. (yes, my NYC apartment was small...) And since SO is rarely in here it's truly "my" room, so I can keep it neat, unlike the rest of our apartment. I've got the desk I made from scratch, the tiny bookcase I made by ripping the innards out of a computer which stores all my current library books, the futon I've read hundreds of books on and my computer, in the armoire that I bought from a friend 20 years ago for $40 and a subway token (he helped me move it from Brooklyn to my apartment on the condition that I gave him a token to get home) and which SO refinished in a nice dark color shortly after he and I moved in together. Because this room has so much of my "history" in it (in addition to all my "single person" stuff being here my high school yearbooks are on the bookshelf, etc,) it just feels really safe to me somehow. The rest of our apartment could get consumed in a fire and I wouldn't care (although i'd be bummed at the loss of the 250 bottles of wine in our dining room), but I'd be truly sad about everything in this room being destroyed.

[ejchase]

I'm loving these lists and other reflections. So interesting to hear everyone's thoughts.

[sweetana3]

Right now, I LOVE my latex bed pillow. So far have lost two on trips and been able to replace them. I love it so much that I take it on trips both local and overseas. They are the perfect squishy yet firm feel. They dont permanently develop any depressions like cheap polyester or settle into shapes like feather pillows. Different feel than those memory foam pillows.

Right now I have the flu and am sleeping on the sofa with my favorite pillow.

[flowerseverywhere]

Many years ago we bought a piece of Stickley furniture. It has beautiful inlays. We loved it so much we continued to save up and add to the collection and I believe these pieces will be around forever. Fortunately my children love them. Here is the end of a side table. http://www.simplelivingforum.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=2067&stc=1

Rotate it 90 degrees to the right to get what I mean. Behind the table slats are actually the side of a bookcase.

[catherine]

Many years ago we bought a piece of Stickley furniture. It has beautiful inlays. We loved it so much we continued to save up and add to the collection and I believe these pieces will be around forever. Fortunately my children love them. Here is the end of a side table. http://www.simplelivingforum.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=2067&stc=1

Rotate it 90 degrees to the right to get what I mean. Behind the table slats are actually the side of a bookcase.

That is gorgeous! I'm a sucker for the Craftsman style. I love Charles Rennie MacIntosh, too.

[razz]

I am enjoying this thread.

I love my little house which is a little quirky in design and building lot but perfect for me. Most of my contents and furniture is old or very simple and builder created the most beautiful sewing room for me when he finished the basement with an added BR, bathroom and TV room. As one post mentioned above, it feels like my sanctuary to come home and close the door on the world with all its challenges.
My favourite time of day is the morning when I curl up in my comfy chair, a simple lap robe and do my meditation and prayers for the world with a fresh cup of coffee and my dog at my feet.

[Float On]

EJ, I love your post and your dresser top! Creating a space you love creates more than a space, it creates a feeling and it is welcoming.

Tybee, I have a found turtle shell in one of my gardens too. Well, actually I know the turtle it belonged to (Ernie) and I leave it there as a reminder to be mindful. I fed that turtle for 6 years. He and his friend would come daily and wait for a strawberry or lettuce leaf or something else tasty like a worm. Then they'd visit my compost pile. He apparently got stuck in one of the pallets around my compost pile and I never noticed and he died. 2 years ago. I left his body to do it's thing and this last summer I pulled it out of the pile and left it in the sun to bleach then moved it to one of my new rock gardens. I carefully check the pallets now because the other turtle (Bert) still comes by to see me.

I love my collection of pottery teapots. They are art pieces not to be used but I enjoy the designs and shapes.

I love my buffet. It was in the old farm house when my parents bought the place in '67. It had been there when the previous owners bought the place in the early '40's. Mom gave it to me when we built our house in '92. I looked up the history once of the builder. A newspaper article is glued to the back of it about the company that built them but I've forgotten the details. It's tiger maple and sturdy. I call it Mae after the name of the wife of the couple that left it for mom.

I love rocks. I have bowls and wood trays of them around the house. There are fossils and dinosaur bones and petrified ancient horse bones and rocks & gems that we've bought or just picked up from special places. I often pick a rock and carry it in my pocket through out the day. I feel grounded that way.

[iris lilies]

That is gorgeous! I'm a sucker for the Craftsman style. I love Charles Rennie MacIntosh, too.
I know! That looks like a MacIntosh ornamental touch.
what a pretty piece of furniture!

[BikingLady]

How nice I love reading what others Treasure. I love the safe, peaceful feeling of my home at 4:30 am, my living room in the morning with the fireplace on, a candle or oil lamp burning, my dogs softly breathing or snoring, hubby and I have a coffee before the day starts. Life seemed to move way to fast for all our life and we started this morning peaceful time maybe a year ago. Sometimes we say nothing other times the answer to every question is answered.

[Teacher Terry]

About 15 years ago we were in a consignment shop and I was looking for a china cabinet. Instead I found this beautiful buffet that was from the 30's and very ornate. Someone had painted it and it was peeling everywhere. I hired someone to strip it and the top is a beautiful wood. The rest I had him paint a cream color. I get compliments on it all the time. It is my favorite piece.

[Gardenarian]

Thanks for posting your pretty photo! Must feel good to have the clutter gone.

[herbgeek]

I also love key chain multi-tools. I use mine everyday.

I am also a keychain gadget hound, but I think I've mentioned that on many occasions. The current rotation is: a Niteize Doohickey, a mini pry bar, and an itty bitty flashlight.

[Ultralight]

Get an Olight S1 Mini if you don’t have one. They have a clip so that you can mount it on the bill of your cap, it is about as small as a AA battery, it has a battery that is rechargeable by USB and the light it puts out will amaze you. Trust me.

Sweet!

[Williamsmith]

Some things just go together.

http://www.simplelivingforum.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=2071&stc=1

[ejchase]

Nice, Williamsmith. A relative of us has a hand coffee grinder which I love using when I visit him. I've been thinking of getting one. A nice coffee station is a pleasing sight.