View Full Version : Help: What would you do?
catherine
1-21-18, 11:40am
January hasn't been good to my 9 year old lab/border collie/terrier.
On December 31, she became very listless, lost her appetite, vomited her food right after she ate it and just seemed very down and perhaps in pain. DH and I noted that every time a pet gets sick it's on a holiday or a day the vet is closed. So I did Dr. Google and learned that she could have pancreatitis. At Christmas time I had given her more people food than normal, including ham, which I learned is not a good thing for dogs and in older dogs could cause pancreatitis.
She rebounded the next day, appetite was back in full swing, so all was well.
Then the day after we came back from Vermont, I walked her in the morning and her urine was the color of red wine. I collected some before panicking and got her to the doctor. He put her on antibiotics, and the blood was gone in a day. Because it was such quick resolution I thought maybe she didn't have a UTI at all. Seemed awfully fast for antibiotics to work. But I continued the twice a day regimen.
However, I noted that her appetite started dwindling. She's eat dog treats but not the dry kibbles. Or I'd put wet dog food in her bowl and she'd pick at it at the end of the day, leaving half of the food, which I'd dispose of and start all over the next day.
So I saw on the internet that loss of appetite could be a side effect of antibiotics in dogs, so I cut back on the dosage--that was probably last Tuesday. Her appetite didn't improve.
Then, on Friday evening (2 days ago) I caught her grabbing a chicken wing bone out of the garbage. There was no meat on it, no fat, and she chewed it and ate it before I could get it. So I looked online (again!) and it said that it should be fine--just monitor. She didn't choke on it. They advised to look for intestinal blockages.
Given her appetite is not great, she wasn't eating stuff that might help to push it through, and she ate NOTHING on Saturday (yesterday) and she's eaten nothing today. And there you go--I'd have her at the vet already, but it's Sunday and they're closed.
If she has an inflammation like pancreatitis, they tell you not to give her food or drink for 24 hours to rest the organ.
If she's got a chicken bone stuck, they say to give her white bread or pumpkin or lentils to help soften and push the bones through. She has not passed anything that looks like a bone to me at this point.
So I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't (try to feed her).
There is a vet open today, but it's not my regular guy. From what I can tell on the internet, another 24 hours of not eating, even if there is a blockage from the bone, is probably OK. (They say to give it 72 hours after a chicken bone ingestion--and 72 hours will be Monday evening.)
What would you do?
Go to a completely new vet today, or wait and take her immediately in tomorrow morning to our regular vet?
iris lilies
1-21-18, 12:10pm
It hate it when Sunday illness presents itself in our pets. Our Emergncy Clinic is expensive.
I would wait until tomorrow, but of course take her in tomorrow.
catherine
1-21-18, 12:15pm
It hate it when Sunday illness presents itself in our pets. Our Emergncy Clinic is expensive.
I would wait until tomorrow, but of course take her in tomorrow.
Thanks, IL. That's my instinct, too. She's sleeping peacefully right now.
Hi Catherine. All I can say is what happened to our dog. She started not eating and vomiting and being listless. A trip to the vet with bloodwork showed that her liver enzymes were elevated. I can't remember, but I think they did a gall bladder ultrasound and it was packed. When their gallbladders get full, it backs up and starts causing liver problem and I think even pancreatitis. The vet put her on ursodiol for several months, and then we repeated her labs.......and they were normal! Then she started doing the same thing about a year and a half later and we had her labs drawn again, and sure enough.......her liver enzymes were elevated. So she now has to be on ursodiol every day, to keep stuff moving through her gallbladder. Did you vet draw labs?
catherine
1-21-18, 12:28pm
Hi Catherine. All I can say is what happened to our dog. She started not eating and vomiting and being listless. A trip to the vet with bloodwork showed that her liver enzymes were elevated. I can't remember, but I think they did a gall bladder ultrasound and it was packed. When their gallbladders get full, it backs up and starts causing liver problem and I think even pancreatitis. The vet put her on ursodiol for several months, and then we repeated her labs.......and they were normal! Then she started doing the same thing about a year and a half later and we had her labs drawn again, and sure enough.......her liver enzymes were elevated. So she now has to be on ursodiol every day, to keep stuff moving through her gallbladder. Did you vet draw labs?
Thanks, Cathy! No, they did urinalysis but not a full blood lab. So I suspect they'll do that tomorrow morning.
For me, pain = vet, as you did the first time. No pain, I think observation would be fine.
If you were up to four or five cycles of this with no diagnostics, I'd say new vet....they would put fresh eyes on the case. But it seems that each incident is unrelated. Again, as a whole - one more time and I'd opt for a second opinion. But that's just me.
Came back to add: what I meant was each incident seems totally explained as different causes. Repeated illness begs for more of a workup.
iris lilies
1-21-18, 1:22pm
A regular blood panel is cheap here, arpund $100. I always spring for that as a first or second step.
If it were our dog and she does not appear to be in pain, I'd wait. Even if you go to the emergency vet, they unlikely will have access to all the previous labs and doctor's notes, so you're starting from square one except for whatever history you can provide. Obvious pain, however, and I probably would make a different decision. Especially given the chicken bone, which could cause some problems on the way through (separate problem from the pancreatitis).
Teacher Terry
1-21-18, 4:12pm
We went through something similar with out big old dog and he ended up on a bland diet for life. Working for the past year.
We went through something similar with out big old dog and he ended up on a bland diet for life. Working for the past year.
Thanks for the encouraging word. I'm hoping that's all it will be.
Steve, I do think she's a little uncomfortable, but to your point, I would much rather have our vet see her. Tomorrow will be here soon enough.
Teacher Terry
1-21-18, 4:36pm
When we first got dogs 13 years ago I would run to the emergency vet for every little thing. Then I realized nothing was usually wrong that couldn't wait a day and my pocket book was much leaner:))
We used to go to our local small town vet and it was a huge mistake. So now we go to the city about 20 miles from here. They are extremely competent. the only problem being is that they suggest everything, and that can get quite expensive. Also, our dog totally freaks out the entire way there. I swear she's going to have a heart attack. One thing I've noticed is that animals withdraw when they have pain or are sick. they don't necessarily show it. It's a survival thing. So sometimes it's hard to figure out exactly what's going on.
Let us know what the vet says Catherine. We're taking our dog this week too. She is 14, but seems to have suddenly lost a lot of her hearing.
catherine
1-23-18, 11:34am
What Would You Do Part II.
Unfortunately it seems my dog has Stage 3, on the cusp of 4, kidney disease. She is at the vet now. She hasn't been able to urinate or defecate for the past 24 hours. They're doing an ultrasound today at 1pm. I'm hoping for the best, but expecting the worst. The kicker is, she's pretty "with it" at the moment--in fact she was barking loudly so they asked me if they could give her a sedative.
Based on my experience with the last dog I had, in which DH and I made the foolish decision to drag his life on to the end, I'm determined to make a wiser decision, which will be based on the possible outcome of her disease weighed against her quality of life. But I'm reading about home IV fluids, and diets, etc., and wonder if anyone has had any success in providing a dog with kidney disease with a reasonable quality of life for a few months or years with treatment.
:(
iris lilies
1-23-18, 11:59am
What Would You Do Part II.
Unfortunately it seems my dog has Stage 3, on the cusp of 4, kidney disease. She is at the vet now. She hasn't been able to urinate or defecate for the past 24 hours. They're doing an ultrasound today at 1pm. I'm hoping for the best, but expecting the worst. The kicker is, she's pretty "with it" at the moment--in fact she was barking loudly so they asked me if they could give her a sedative.
Based on my experience with the last dog I had, in which DH and I made the foolish decision to drag his life on to the end, I'm determined to make a wiser decision, which will be based on the possible outcome of her disease weighed against her quality of life. But I'm reading about home IV fluids, and diets, etc., and wonder if anyone has had any success in providing a dog with kidney disease with a reasonable quality of life for a few months or years with treatment.
:(
Kidney disease is common in cats, and I know people who have kept their cats alive with fluid treatments. Certainly, a change in diet is easy to do with the kidney formula foods, but at this late stage I wonder if that is useful.
We currently have a 16 year old cat who has probably entered kidney disease territory. She is eating normally, but she lays in front of the water dish all the time. She lost weight last summer, but gained some back and is still fat, and as always with her, sedentary. I do not plan to treat any kidney disease.
yes, dont drag it on for her.
What Would You Do Part II.
Unfortunately it seems my dog has Stage 3, on the cusp of 4, kidney disease. She is at the vet now. She hasn't been able to urinate or defecate for the past 24 hours. They're doing an ultrasound today at 1pm. I'm hoping for the best, but expecting the worst. The kicker is, she's pretty "with it" at the moment--in fact she was barking loudly so they asked me if they could give her a sedative.
Based on my experience with the last dog I had, in which DH and I made the foolish decision to drag his life on to the end, I'm determined to make a wiser decision, which will be based on the possible outcome of her disease weighed against her quality of life. But I'm reading about home IV fluids, and diets, etc., and wonder if anyone has had any success in providing a dog with kidney disease with a reasonable quality of life for a few months or years with treatment.
:(
Oh Catherine, I am so sorry. When I had a dog with this, we let her go--she was 9, I think, a golden retriever.
I am so sorry for your dear doggie.
Catherine, sorry the news wasn't better. I would rather say goodbye while she is still feeling ok than to drag it out. That's great that she felt good enough to complain loudly, so much so that they asked to calm her down with a sedative.
mschrisgo2
1-23-18, 1:10pm
My best friend had a dog with kidney disease that advanced very quickly. In the last 2 months or so, she tried to give sub-q fluids. She thought it would be easier, as she had give fluids to cats several times. She said it was difficult, and the vet tech concurred that it's harder to do with dogs than cats. Then poor dog developed IMHA (blood disease that kills own blood cells). When the vet said she could probably keep her going for another week or two, my friend said no.
Catherine, so sorry its not better news.
Williamsmith
1-23-18, 1:52pm
My Golden suddenly became immobile and listless. I figured another trip to the vet, another big bill and another recovery. The vet came out with a sad look on her face and reported that it was a rather terminal situation with reduced quality of life for here on out. Kidney disease probably cancerous lesions. I admit my first thoughts were of me taking loving care of her and sharing a few more mutually loving moments of trying to comfort her in her pain.
The vet was good at explaining that for me to hold her in this condition by extraordinary intervention would be simply an act of selfishness on my part. It could be done but would prolong the ultimate outcome. I couldn’t see having the means to relieve her pain and refusing to do it. I loved her too much to do that to her. I also found being with her those last moments to be the most painful experience of my lifetime.
When she left, some of her pain transferred to me. I consider that to be my last act of kindness toward her.
I hope there are are better options for you. Theres no way another person can help you make this decision.
Teacher Terry
1-23-18, 2:12pm
WE had a 20 yo Maltese that developed kidney issues. She was on a bunch of other meds for things but we didn't treat this. In a few months it was obvious it was her time to go so we helped her to the Rainbow Bridge. WE lost 2 dogs in 7 months so I know how hard this is. Hugs:))
Hoping for the best for you and your doggie, catherine. We love them so much, don't we?
frugal-one
1-23-18, 6:40pm
You have my sympathies too. We lost our big black lab a few months ago. It is so hard when a member of your family gets sick!
My best friend had a dog with kidney disease that advanced very quickly. In the last 2 months or so, she tried to give sub-q fluids. She thought it would be easier, as she had give fluids to cats several times. She said it was difficult, and the vet tech concurred that it's harder to do with dogs than cats. Then poor dog developed IMHA (blood disease that kills own blood cells). When the vet said she could probably keep her going for another week or two, my friend said no.
Catherine, so sorry its not better news.
UGH DH and I have dealt with IMHA with our Corgi... He has been in remission for the last year and a half, but it was a huge undertaking financially and care wise. He is now 15 years old and still doing quite well
Thank you, all, for your compassion and concern.
As it turns out, it's not kidney disease. They say it's probably lymphoma, and while that doesn't sound any less dire, it actually is treatable, where kidney disease is not. We're going to find out if she has lymphoma, and then make a decision.
I sent an email to my kids and I made them promise not to give me any more dogs!!! (They gifted us our dog in 2008.). This sucks. But I know you guys know that. And we don't intend to carry this out longer than it needs to be.
Thanks again for your sound advice and experience.
Ultralight
1-23-18, 7:54pm
Thank you, all, for your compassion and concern.
As it turns out, it's not kidney disease. They say it's probably lymphoma, and while that doesn't sound any less dire, it actually is treatable, where kidney disease is not. We're going to find out if she has lymphoma, and then make a decision.
I sent an email to my kids and I made them promise not to give me any more dogs!!! (They gifted us our dog in 2008.). This sucks. But I know you guys know that. And we don't intend to carry this out longer than it needs to be.
Thanks again for your sound advice and experience.
My heart goes out to you all.
iris lilies
1-23-18, 8:46pm
My experience with lymphoma in dogs is that it manifests in several ways. One of our dogs had open sores on his skin, the tumors grew up and out of his skin. It was lymphoma.
Heres hoping the treatment your vet talked abput is not terrobly expensive and it works.
My experience with lymphoma in dogs is that it manifests in several ways. One of our dogs had open sores on his skin, the tumors grew up and out of his skin. It was lymphoma.
Our neighbor's dog had this. By the time they confirmed it (initially they thought it was something else), he was beyond treatment. :( I am hopeful, catherine, that this was caught early enough to give you a choice in treatment. Hoping for the best...
rosarugosa
1-24-18, 6:29pm
Sorry you are going through this Catherine and I hope your dog is OK.
I am sorry to hear about your dog. Hope that things go OK for her.
We did look into aggressive treatment (chemo), but we have decided not to pursue that. It didn't make sense. She's an older dog (9), and the cancer she has turns out to be very aggressive (they say it's either hemangiosarcoma or histiolytic sarcoma). They are not recommending surgery, so that automatically impacts the prognosis. She has a tumor on both kidneys and her spleen. So, short story: she's F****d.
We have her on prednisone, and are watching her carefully. She's eating well, peeing and poo-ing normally. Sleeping fine. Walking and playing a bit. But, sadly, I don't believe she'll ever get to swim in Lake Champlain with us this summer. Such a shame--she was such an avid swimmer.
Thank you for your concern.
I'm so sorry. That's the big downside of companion animals. Whether we outlive them, or they outlive us--either way is a tragedy.
iris lilies
1-30-18, 2:01pm
Oh, that is too bad to get this final diagnosis. But prednisone is a miracle drug for keeping tumors at bay for a bit, so you will have a little bit of time with her, and she will feel ok during that time.
Thanks, Jane and IL.
Yes, IL, the prednisone seems to be doing her good.
Jane, I've actually been thinking about you because I've actually put her on a kind of a keto diet! Why not. I'm not expecting a miracle, but why not do what you can do. I'm feeding her raw bones, ground beef, turkey and salmon, some veggies like broccoli and carrots, fish oil and chia seeds. Absolutely no grain. She loves this diet! Wolfing it down. So no matter what, she's enjoying her last meals.
iris lilies
1-30-18, 2:13pm
Thanks, Jane and IL.
Yes, IL, the prednisone seems to be doing her good.
Jane, I've actually been thinking about you because I've actually put her on a kind of a keto diet! Why not. I'm not expecting a miracle, but why not do what you can do. I'm feeding her raw bones, ground beef, turkey and salmon, some veggies like broccoli and carrots, fish oil and chia seeds. Absolutely no grain. She loves this diet! Wolfing it down. So no matter what, she's enjoying her last meals.
well, prednisone increases appetie and thirst, but what dog wouldnt like that stuff anyway, true.
I am glad to hear she is eating well and acting normal--I just put my terrier on hemp oil pills; maybe try that on the "it can't hurt and it might help" principle:
https://www.amazon.com/Manitoba-Harvest-Hemp-Soft-Count/dp/B072VDCK2Y/ref=sr_1_3_sspa?s=grocery&ie=UTF8&qid=1517340483&sr=1-3-spons&keywords=manitoba+harvest+hemp+oil&psc=1
True--I agree, but the funny thing is she went completely off the diet she used to have, which was the normal "whatever's-on-sale dog food diet." She turned up her nose at everything, eating NOTHING, which was one of the main reasons we took her to the vet.
She still will not eat the kibbles, but she does eat the new diet, and we started it before we started the prednisone, so go figure.
Teacher Terry
1-31-18, 12:51pm
A friend of mine treated cancer in his 6 yo lab because his vet talked him into it. A year later the dog was dead and he was 10k poorer.
My dog succumbed yesterday. She was doing OK--I was filling out a Quality-of-Life scorecard for her every day. 35-70 points--the dog has acceptable quality of life; under 35, it's unacceptable. She was getting above 35 points.
Until Sunday when she clearly seemed to be going downhill. She could go outside and pee and poo on her own, but it was getting hard for her to master the one step to get back in the house. The light had gone from her eyes.
So Monday we determined would be the day. I called the vet to find out what next steps are. Then I had an interview postponed to later in the day, so by the time the day was done work-wise, the vet was close to closing time. But did I, in fact, wimp out? Yes. I wanted one more night with her.
I will pay for that night I selfishly stole from her because by Tuesday, it was clear it was over. She couldn't even lower herself easily to go from standing to lying down. I had interviews and DH had appointments, but at 3:30 we called the vet and told them we would be bringing her in.
She was able to make it into the car after DH pulled up the back seat. But it was hard for her to get out of the car. It was hard for her walk at all. We were just trying to get her up the ramp to the vet, when I saw she just couldn't go any father. I sent DH in to get help carrying her, and while he was in there getting help, she let out a wail/howl I'll never forget and she collapsed on the ramp. This was not the gentle, soft, leave-taking I was hoping for. In fact it was a cruel end for her. If we had only taken her in on Monday, she may have had more deserving end to her life.
This is just me baring my soul in the confessional of my friends here. And it's also a vow that if I ever have another dog, the minute that light goes out in their eyes, it's time for me to put on my big girl panties and let the dog go.
Thanks for your words of support on this thread.
Williamsmith
2-7-18, 12:49pm
Give yourself some slack here. You were in the process of doing the right thing. You had no way of knowing how close the end was. You did good with a kind heart.
Catherine, Try not to make the loss worse with guilt. You did what you needed to do.
iris lilies
2-7-18, 1:10pm
Agree with William, your were watching her closely and got her in as soon as you could.
And like all of us, you learned the lesson that when they start to go down, they become miserable pretty fast. This is for dogs. I still cant read cats. With our 19 year old cat who died last year we knew she was a day from death BUT that was before she got skinnier and skinnier and kept on trucking for months.
My most favorite bulldog died at home. But it wasnt before I had hauled her into the Emergency clinic and while we never had a firm diagnosis, it was likely brain tumor. They found lots of waste in her colon and asked if I wanted that evacuated, and I told them go ahead. I still think that was the right decision even though she died about 8 hours later after walking into and out of the clinic. I think that relieved some of her discomfort, but who knows.
One of my biggest life regrets was waiting too long with a beloved cat. I won't let it happen again. My condolences...it is so hard.
Teacher Terry
2-7-18, 2:18pm
Catherine, I cried when I read your post. I have never seen a dog go downhill that fast. There is absolutely no way that you could have known that would happen. You gave her a great life and she loved you as much as you loved her. Hugs
I'm so sorry Catherine. Be kind to yourself. You are only human and did the best you could, and everything you did was in the spirit of love.
I know you will mourn the loss, but please don't feel guilty for waiting too long. You couldn't know when the time was.
I am convinced my "dog of my heart" was dying in my arms / perhaps in a coma like state when I took her for that final vet visit. As you say, she had no light left and didn't move or look at me as I held and carried her. She was breathing, but other than that she was already gone.
I'm sorry for your loss.
Thanks so much, everyone. (Terry, thanks for sharing tears with me--yes, it happened so fast--January 10 was the first sign of serious sickness. 27 days.)
We all hope for "death with dignity" but that's a human value to an event that is dignity-neutral. It's just death. There are so many billions of humans who have died under less than "dignified" conditions--warriors and those who have suffered with serious, painful illness. Williamsmith, in your line of work, I'm sure you have seen many "deserving" people die in an undeserving way. In my spiritual readings I have learned, and tried to practice, not to place a value on life events. To accept them as they are.
Sometimes I wonder why it's so hard to lose an animal. Those of you who have never had a pet probably scratch your heads, thinking, "It's just a DOG (or cat)". But what I have come to realize after having owned several dogs and cats is that if you think of your life as a weaving on a loom.. the day is the warp and the little everyday things that fill it are the weft. The interactions with the pet--the walks, the feedings, the scratching of the belly, the occasional ball-throw, and gaze while you're trying to watch TV or work... Those are fibers that get woven directly into our days and become part of the very fabric that constitutes our lives.
So when the end comes, it feels literally like the fibers of the weft of our daily experience are ripped out and it leaves a god-awful hole.
Here's to all the creatures, human and non-human, who literally become a part of us. Even when their leave-taking tears us open.
I'm so sorry Catherine. Be kind to yourself. You are only human and did the best you could, and everything you did was in the spirit of love.
rosa, you described the way I reacted.
Catherine, the choice to keep your dog one more night is perfectly understandable. Lives are haunted by regret over decisions that cannot be unmade. I suspect your dog would not want to see you preoccupied and sad over that very human decision. You did what you could to keep your dog comfortable as long as you could. My sympathies now and for the days ahead as you work through your grief.
Williamsmith
2-8-18, 9:10am
Thanks so much, everyone. (Terry, thanks for sharing tears with me--yes, it happened so fast--January 10 was the first sign of serious sickness. 27 days.)
We all hope for "death with dignity" but that's a human value to an event that is dignity-neutral. It's just death. There are so many billions of humans who have died under less than "dignified" conditions--warriors and those who have suffered with serious, painful illness. Williamsmith, in your line of work, I'm sure you have seen many "deserving" people die in an undeserving way. In my spiritual readings I have learned, and tried to practice, not to place a value on life events. To accept them as they are.
Sometimes I wonder why it's so hard to lose an animal. Those of you who have never had a pet probably scratch your heads, thinking, "It's just a DOG (or cat)". But what I have come to realize after having owned several dogs and cats is that if you think of your life as a weaving on a loom.. the day is the warp and the little everyday things that fill it are the weft. The interactions with the pet--the walks, the feedings, the scratching of the belly, the occasional ball-throw, and gaze while you're trying to watch TV or work... Those are fibers that get woven directly into our days and become part of the very fabric that constitutes our lives.
So when the end comes, it feels literally like the fibers of the weft of our daily experience are ripped out and it leaves a god-awful hole.
Here's to all the creatures, human and non-human, who literally become a part of us. Even when their leave-taking tears us open.
Your use of the word “creatures” caused me to think of the James Harriet book series which I think started with, “All Creatures Great And Small”. I was born with a soft heart for animals. Kids can be pretty cruel but in my circle of friends if somebody tried to abuse a snake that we found or stomp on a toad even.....I got pissy about it.
I have owned a zoo of animals over my lifetime and not one of them did I rejoice about when they passed.
I have a simplistic view of life and death. I believe in a creator. I also believe that once created, nothing vanishes when it dies. It simply ceases to be in the form that we are used to interacting with. I believe their mission to us just changed and something or someone else became more important. We don’t see the entire field of battle. We see what we can from our perspective. Faith fills in the unknown parts. That dog of yours had a mission which it fulfilled. Celebrate it.
https://youtu.be/bjbktnTuV30
I have a simplistic view of life and death. I believe in a creator. I also believe that once created, nothing vanishes when it dies. It simply ceases to be in the form that we are used to interacting with. I believe their mission to us just changed and something or someone else became more important. We don’t see the entire field of battle. We see what we can from our perspective. Faith fills in the unknown parts. That dog of yours had a mission which it fulfilled. Celebrate it.
https://youtu.be/bjbktnTuV30
Your life-and-death creed mirrors mine. I'm with you on that. BTW, James Herriot was one of my favorite authors. I remember reading "All Creatures Great and Small" on the MetroNorth from NYC when I was working at NBC, and one part struck me so funny that I couldn't stop laughing out loud and all the commuters must have been ready to call the conductor and have me thrown off. I did read his other books as well.
DH asked me about "doggie heaven" today and I told him that I see it as us just re-entering the flow of life in a different form.
“For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is it to cease breathing but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?
Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountaintop,then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shal claim your limbs,then shall you truly dance.”
--Kahlil Gibran, on Death
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free
Blackbird fly, blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night
--Lennon and McCartney
Oh Catherine, so very sorry for your loss. That was very fast, you couldn't have know just how fast it would be.
iris lilies
2-8-18, 11:48am
Catherine, your picture of how pet care forms the fabric of our lives is a good one. We miss them so much when they are gone because we cared for them physically. The active routines of care bond us.
One of the rescue dogs we adopted was a big lumbering grouchy female. She wasnt cute or happy or especially interactive with humans and I didnt bond with her until I started giving her eye care. She needed special treatments and visits to a special veterinarian, and that time together out of our normal routine (and away from our other three dogs) caused us to become closer. While she will never be one of my favorite dogs of memory, I did learn to appreciate her uniqueness.
Mothers who have chronically sick children talk about how their relationship with the sick one is different than with the healthy ones. All of the care routines for sick children builds such a strong bond.
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