View Full Version : "A Luxury Once Tasted...
,,,becomes a necessity."
My son told me that when I told him how, unfortunately, after the airline club gave me a free pass for 6 months, I felt I NEEDED to join... it was quieter and had nice working stations so I could work efficiently. I didn't have to fight crowds for a bite to eat--they had the "smorgasbord" of cheese, cracker, soups, salads, etc. They had newspaper and TV, and a counter where I could jump in and get great service in the case of delays or cancellations. It was a no-brainer to spend a couple of hundred dollars a year for this luxury which had become somehow a necessity.
I typically don't have a huge need for creature comforts. My DIL, a Brazilian who takes GREAT care of herself, always gives me fluffy blankets, and gift cards for manicures, and those thick socks.. I think she thinks I wear a hair shirt while flagellating myself daily.
What brings me to the topic is my BIL, who takes tremendous pleasure in creature comfort stuff. He used to work in a. high-end store in the bedding department and he talks Egyptian cotton, thread count, horse hair beds, etc. So this past week we decided we would both bring our white comforters to the cleaners--I was going to just throw mine in the big washer at the laundromat--it was $40 fake polyester down comforter from Target. But his is a Siberian down comforter that retails for several hundred dollars (he didn't pay that), so he didn't want to throw it in the wash. He brought both of the comforters to the cleaners. My bill was $30 to clean a $40 comforter. Whatever. His comforter cost more of course.
SO.. question is, what luxuries have you fallen into the trap of now needing? Define luxury however you wish. And why do you think you now "need" it. ("Need" can be interpreted loosely, too. We all know that all we REALLY need is a shelter from elements, basic food and clothes.)
The world is full if little things that I spent much of my life without but now consider essential. In my car there's air conditioning, power windows, heated seats and now back-up cameras and satellite navigation systems. In my home there's again air conditioning, a whole house heating system rather than a coal stove in the living room, smart TV's, microwave ovens and wireless high speed internet.
In my personal life, I'll always be amazed that I once routinely travelled extensively throughout this country and others without the means of instant communications on my person. I wonder how I survived it?
Oh yes, there are so many things.
Years ago there was an episode on the Canadian show "Corner Gas" when the resident snob
invited a couple to dinner and served a "Good Wine" and they got angry because after that they
were not satisfied with their cheap wine. So they plotted and invited her back and served her
something (forget what) that was so good she now could not eat the cheaper blander version
she had been happier with before. It was funny. Dd and I often refer to the show when we try
a better quality of anything.
Alan, I agree with your whole list especially the back-up camera, heated seats and high speed internet. (how would be go back to dial-up?)
When people talk about the cost of living compared to years ago they need to take in to account all of these things that we didn't have
way back then. I believe this is why so many people feel poorer then they use to. So many things seem like necessities that weren't before. It is hard not to!
Heated seats in the car. My car is 10 years old so i dont have muc else.
Everything on my phone or tablet, they are so small and do everything. And instant ability to binge watch anything. Watching one episode a week is crazy.
I will say that although i love really good chai i will drink starbucks from a mix also,
Internet access. Still on the fence about a smart phone. Garmin navigation system since it has allowed me to drive without stopping to check a map. Saved me in several cities.
But we bought a Gamin with lifetime updates which was a great deal instead of using our Honda's navigation system that costs $150 to update any time it is needed. What a waste.
My husband will never be without the additional safety systems on his CRV. Backup camera, right side camera, auto braking, auto lane beeps, auto speed control, and on and on. Personally, I think he is too tied to the cruise control system. I use it only occasionally during really long trips but want to keep control of the car.
Latex bed pillow. To me the best thing ever invented. Tried down, poly, foam, and all those miracle pillows. Only the latex one gives me the exact feeling I want.
The world is full if little things that I spent much of my life without but now consider essential. In my car there's air conditioning, power windows, heated seats and now back-up cameras and satellite navigation systems. In my home there's again air conditioning, a whole house heating system rather than a coal stove in the living room, smart TV's, microwave ovens and wireless high speed internet.
In my personal life, I'll always be amazed that I once routinely travelled extensively throughout this country and others without the means of instant communications on my person. I wonder how I survived it?
Cars are always upping the ante. Back in 1984 we got a brand new car. We thought we were really doing so well because it was right off the showroom--but it had no air conditioning. Also we had to hand-crank the windows. And we were REALLY happy to be driving a reliable car at all! Now, my "needs" have escalated to the navigation system on the dash--when I take my husband's car, I really miss that map!! And I have the kind of ignition where you don't have to put the key in at all, so no more digging through my purse to find it. And it unlocks when I'm close enough for the sensor to sense it. Honestly, it's such a little thing, but I really like it.
When it comes to cars I have yet to desire heated seats, or leather seats. I don't yet crave a sophisticated back-up system. But it's just a matter of time.
iris lilies
2-1-18, 10:28am
I still see the used car we bought from our neighbor as the most luxe car I have ever had. I went from a truck with manual roll down windows and no air comditioning to a Ford Taurus with wonderful plush fabric seats, auto windows and seat adjustment and antanae adjustment. The latter is important because in my ‘hood it is a popular pastime of our ghetto youth to break off antanaes.
My current Mercury Mariner SUV doesnt meet that standard, it has cheap polyester-feeling fabric seats and manual seat adjustment.
My first car (35 years ago) had no power anything -- well, maybe power brakes, but manual steering, crank windows, a manual choke (:0!), and not a single pre-set button on the radio. In fact, when I bought it, it didn't have a radio in it; I strapped a boom box into the back seat for tunes. My current car is 15 years old, so no navigation anything, no electronic safety stuff. It's fine. Nothing I'd spend money to fix at this point. It would be hard to go back to crank windows, though. And since the doors lock automatically at 7 mph, I've gotten out of the habit of locking the doors by hand. Or of using the key to get into the car (though I still have to use the fob).
My list:
- broadband Internet access. I'm on the 'net a lot for various reasons. Slower would be hard to get used to again. Interestingly, when I'm on the Internet on my phone, it doesn't seem so bad (though that's still faster that dial-up).
- garage door opener. Even though we have to traverse open air to get to and from the garage from the house, it's nice not to have to get out into the cold/hot/wet another time to open the door.
- good coffee. Life's too short to drink that brown dust that comes in a can. :)
- smartphone. It's my phone, my messaging device, a remote Internet terminal, my alarm clock, my appointment book/calendar, my notebook, my radio (we stream the few terrestrial stations we care to listen to), my camera (about half the time; still use the SLR), and my GPS. Sure, I could go back to individual items that do those things, but ... it's soooo convenient.
- snowblower. Because Minnesota. Because it's hard to clear a 60-foot driveway of several inches of snow, particularly because the way it's situated on the lot means throwing most snow in only one direction.
- real butter (https://www.rochdalefarms.coop/butter). We didn't think butter had a flavor until we tried this stuff. We still buy the anonymous sticks for baking. But for bread or vegetables, we spend the little extra for this stuff.
Williamsmith
2-1-18, 10:41am
I don’t know if you are expressing guilt at the thought of being sold a luxury.....I’ve felt that way. I’ve come to the conclusion that we can describe our lives entirely in selling terms. Because having less or doing without is cultural heresy. I never gave my wants a second thought as long as it fit in my budget......until I retired and started contemplating my life as a consumer and what that meant to my relationship with the earth and others and what kind of extra burdens I was really saddling myself with. Sounds a bit philosophical for a nuts and bolts type person but it boiled down to me havin* slowed down and taken a look around and a look inside.
I succumb to purchasing luxuries but less often than ever and I suspect in the future that’s going to be the trend. Just yesterday I had lunch with my summer golf partner. He told me I needed to buy a new driver. Mine is ten years old, has been repaired once, has a rattle in it. He said I needed to go to this pro shop where they can let me try out all the new clubs. I think I’ll be teeing off with my old driver this year. Along with the set of irons I bought from a guy for $50 a few years ago.
Fighting off the urge to indulge requires discipline. Simple living isn’t easy. But there is something to be gained from avoiding the quest for instant gratification or convenience. I’ve really given this some thought and for me it boils down to four levels of usefulness. Something you absolutely need, something that makes things easier, something that you really enjoy and gives you pleasure, and something that is purely wanted because it’s outrageously indulgent.
I am probably going to purchase another guitar at some point. It will be strictly a luxury. What you see, you covet. I justify it because I play in several different tunings. In fact my one guitar only has five strings because I am playing it in open g. If I get another guitar, I won’t have to waste time returning and messing with strings. Its convenient and its indulgent.
As long as I give myself the freedom to hold loosely to these things, I’m satisfied. When I start clutching them with an iron grip, I risk exposing myself to disappointment.
iris lilies
2-1-18, 10:46am
I bought a favorite luxury wine a couple of weeks ago. $75 per bottle. Drank it right down.
I dont have an urge to drink other wines so frequently any more. But when a bottle of the good stuff is open, I will be a consumer.
When it comes to cars I have yet to desire heated seats, or leather seats.
I do have that desire for heated seats. My butt is ALWAYS cold. But I know that once I do, there is no going back and I will always have to have heated seats. :D
I bought a favorite luxury wine a couple of weeks ago. $75 per bottle. Drank it right down.
I dont have an urge to drink other wines so frequently any more. But when a bottle of the good stuff is open, I will be a consumer.
It doesn't take much to remember a great wine experience. We use to have an acquaintance who was a wine broker. There was one that was $125 a half bottle and he broke out of case of it and gave us a bottle! No wine has ever tasted as good sitting in a back yard in Kentucky around a fire pit on a cool early summer evening.
The only thing I seem to splurge on occasionally are food and beverage items. Good coffee, olive oil, vinegars, spices, etc. DH was in the food and wine business for many years. He could tell many a story about wine tastings where the wine snobs didn't know they were drinking $12 bottles. To me though, it's really about the value received for the money spent in any category.
I do have that desire for heated seats. My butt is ALWAYS cold. But I know that once I do, there is no going back and I will always have to have heated seats. :D
Yep. I have heated seat envy as well as the foot movement back door release.
dado potato
2-1-18, 11:28am
SteveinMN,
I will keep an eye open for Rochdale Farms butter.
I am fond of Organic Ghee from a farmer-owned co-op based in La Farge, WI. "Organic Valley" brand... I buy it on Amazon.
It doesn't take much to remember a great wine experience. We use to have an acquaintance who was a wine broker. There was one that was $125 a half bottle and he broke out of case of it and gave us a bottle! No wine has ever tasted as good sitting in a back yard in Kentucky around a fire pit on a cool early summer evening.
Wow, I sure hope I don't "taste" that luxury! My idea of a good bottle of wine is Clos du Bois on sale at BuyRite for $13.99. I don't think I'm enough of a connoisseur to be able to appreciate a $75 or $125 bottle of wine.
dado potato
2-1-18, 11:35am
pinkytoe,
Have you settled on a favorite olive oil producer? I trust PJ Kabos in Athens, Greece... imported to USA by Accolade Brands, Studio City CA.
Wow, I sure hope I don't "taste" that luxury! My idea of a good bottle of wine is Clos du Bois on sale at BuyRite for $13.99. I don't think I'm enough of a connoisseur to be able to appreciate a $75 or $125 bottle of wine.
Definitely a one time experience in my life! My evening glass of wine (that I like very much) comes from a $5-7 bottle depending on sale price.
I don’t know if you are expressing guilt at the thought of being sold a luxury.....I’ve felt that way. I’ve come to the conclusion that we can describe our lives entirely in selling terms. Because having less or doing without is cultural heresy. I never gave my wants a second thought as long as it fit in my budget......until I retired and started contemplating my life as a consumer and what that meant to my relationship with the earth and others and what kind of extra burdens I was really saddling myself with. Sounds a bit philosophical for a nuts and bolts type person but it boiled down to me havin* slowed down and taken a look around and a look inside.
I succumb to purchasing luxuries but less often than ever and I suspect in the future that’s going to be the trend. Just yesterday I had lunch with my summer golf partner. He told me I needed to buy a new driver. Mine is ten years old, has been repaired once, has a rattle in it. He said I needed to go to this pro shop where they can let me try out all the new clubs. I think I’ll be teeing off with my old driver this year. Along with the set of irons I bought from a guy for $50 a few years ago.
Fighting off the urge to indulge requires discipline. Simple living isn’t easy. But there is something to be gained from avoiding the quest for instant gratification or convenience. I’ve really given this some thought and for me it boils down to four levels of usefulness. Something you absolutely need, something that makes things easier, something that you really enjoy and gives you pleasure, and something that is purely wanted because it’s outrageously indulgent.
I am probably going to purchase another guitar at some point. It will be strictly a luxury. What you see, you covet. I justify it because I play in several different tunings. In fact my one guitar only has five strings because I am playing it in open g. If I get another guitar, I won’t have to waste time returning and messing with strings. Its convenient and its indulgent.
As long as I give myself the freedom to hold loosely to these things, I’m satisfied. When I start clutching them with an iron grip, I risk exposing myself to disappointment.
Love this post. I think it speaks to the emotional drivers and barriers of getting "hooked" on material things. I think that for me personally guilt is not as big a driver as fear. Two fears: a) the fear that I will outgrow my compulsion for a simple life--that it will become unreachable if all of a sudden I NEED a Cuisinart and a Siberian down comforter. I have been reading about food processors for various reasons, and then I told myself to STOP IT! I like chopping. We have good knives. We have a cutting board. Why do I need a motor to take that pleasure from me?
I remember being shocked reading that Scott Nearing said that he constantly had to push away his desires for this and that. I somehow thought that he was born only wanting a bowl with chopsticks to eat from, and stones brought from friends with which to build his home. I guess that's why the 10th Commandment has been around since Moses.
My second fear is that as I MUST limit my wants as I age into Social Security, I want to be content. I'm not fearful of not having what I need. I'm only fearful of wanting more than I have.
I've mentioned one of my favorite books before: A Handmade Life by William Coperthwaite. He was a huge proponent of learning many skills and turning every activity into a craft and turning every thing into a thing of beauty. I'm afraid that while I've always wanted my "ladder" to be against HIS kind of wall (a Stephen Covey analogy), I'll instead wind up with my ladder against the wall of Williams Sonoma and Ralph Lauren.
Finally, I LOVE "give myself the freedom to hold loosely to these things."
ToomuchStuff
2-1-18, 1:50pm
Some of the car stuff mentioned I would add to, like not having to do a tune up every 12K miles.
On the other hand, I miss things like rain gutters on them, or vent windows.
Personally, I would much rather have a lifeline service land line and pay phones, then the "luxury" of a cell phone. But that has become a necessity out of lack of pay phones, in case of issues or so I can contact work when on runs for them. That luxury though saves me money as the cheapest landline, due to taxes being 50% of the bill, costs in two months, what my cell costs me 95% of a year.
Refrigeration instead of ice boxes. Laundry machines that don't use wringers (offered one of those from the late neighbor when I moved in), a lot of stuff already mentioned.
flowerseverywhere
2-1-18, 2:11pm
Amazon prime. I don’t buy much but I know what I want. Today I wanted coarse vermiculite for my African violet starts. Lowe’s had a package of fine vermiculite with miracle gro In it. I wanted plain. ace did not have it. After driving to both stores, almost ten miles, I logged on to Amazon prime, six dollars and a bag will be on my doorstep in a few days. I try to shop local. Last week it was Teva’s. $70for a color I did not want in the store. They could order the color I wanted and it would arrive in about two weeks. $47 at Amazon in the color I wanted.
It it makes me feel unpatriotic to not shop local and support especially small businesses, but it is a luxury that saves me time and money. Plus I try to drive very sparingly.
I produce about 1500-2000 cases of wine a year, and have been doing so for nearly 20 years now.
Some (mostly the whites) from grapes from our own vineyard, some (mostly the reds) with grapes we bring in from elsewhere.
During the course of this, I have learned quite a bit about the back-stage antics of the wine industry.
There is *very little* difference between a good $8 bottle of wine and a good $150 bottle of wine, for most people, even for wine “experts”. In fact, one of our product lines has essentially the same wine sold at widely different prices points, mostly for marketing reasons. $10 or $45, it’s the same stuff (almost). Blind-tasting of most high end wines would not identify hig-end vs. mid-range vs low-end wines.
To a first approximation.
For me, the sweet spot for wine pricing for my own consumption $8-$12/bottle range. (Much below this and you get into problems with cost-of-goods, if you reckon what the bottle/closure/label/alcohol excise tax/transportation cost, there’s not much left for the contents.)
Some years ago we repackaged several of our top sellers, nearly tripled the price, and managed to sell even more than before. We did the price increase to support paying a living wage to our workers.
Fine soap, good coffee, interesting mustard (current favorite is Raye's Brown Ginger). High quality bed linens and our heated mattress pad.
Williamsmith
2-1-18, 4:49pm
I don’t know how I could forget.......Makers Mark! It ain’t cheap.
My son works in a local family-owned chocolate shop. I am now ruined for cheap grocery store chocolate.
I, too, enjoy the heated seats in my new-to-me Subaru. I admit I love that car more than I should love an inanimate object.
I enjoy Peets bagged coffee, olive oils, vinegars, herbs and spices from a couple local shops.
I guess I am at the point where I am frugal with some things in order to enjoy other things that may cost a bit more.
My new sedan. It has many super-duper features. >700hp, 10 second 1/4 mile times, top speed 205mph stock, yada yada yada. I got it not for luxury, as it is not a luxury car, but because it was loud, fast, and stupid, and I've always liked the Rush song "Red Barchetta".
But....the unexpected luxury, which I will never go without again: it has a heated steering wheel. My carpal tunnel/tendonitis rejoice.
I don’t know how I could forget.......Makers Mark! It ain’t cheap.
Life is too short to drink cheap whiskey.
I am a coarse person who is perfectly happy with off-brand clothing, generic drugs, last-gen technology and fast food dining. There's nowhere on this planet i'd rather travel to than my easy chair. Live music is more trouble than it's worth. I don't see the point in coffee you have to order from a long menu. It's all just roasted beans to me. I can't understand wanting to live anywhere they self-consciously try to keep quaint or funky or weird if it costs a fortune for the privilege.
I do insist on a high-quality tipple however.
I'm all for getting acclimated to luxury.
This is a material world, and I'm here to enjoy it.
I didn't know there were heated steering wheels! I spend money on perfume, soaps, sheets. I'm getting better about spending money for heat and AC....not worth it to me to be too cold or too hot.
ApatheticNoMore
2-1-18, 6:33pm
I guess mostly I spend money for edibles (but I'm glad I neither drink much wine nor coffee as they are sounding much bother, fair trade organic tea bags for me :~)). Olive oil, California has some very fine varieties but yea kind of costly, I do spend money on that. Sure DSL and a dumb phone are necessary now (and dial up really did suck). I really should spring for safety features on a car, but since I don't buy new cars it is more you get one comes unless I got them installed. Sheets - the thing is high thread count isn't always better - it sleeps warmer than lower thread count and that's not always desirable. So I have lower thread count sheets for most of the year trying to keep cool, sleeping on flannel right now though as nights are still cold.
I guess because I have been in discombobulation mode for almost two years now - selling long time house and a lifetime of stuff, moving far away, still remodeling house we moved to and trying to do it all ourselves on a tight budget - I am dreaming of being comfortable whatever that takes. And so I dream about acquiring a few quality things to make the wait worthwhile. Even a really fine margarita with quality tequila would be a great comfort right about now.
iris lilies
2-1-18, 8:31pm
Wow, I sure hope I don't "taste" that luxury! My idea of a good bottle of wine is Clos du Bois on sale at BuyRite for $13.99. I don't think I'm enough of a connoisseur to be able to appreciate a $75 or $125 bottle of wine.
Im sure thhere are $30 $40 bottles like this,
I just dont know what they are. I had this in a restaruant a few years ago and loved it.
Satellite radio. Sulfate free shampoo. Good quality primer.
I guess mostly I spend money for edibles ...
What?
When it comes to cars I have yet to desire heated seats, or leather seats. I don't yet crave a sophisticated back-up system. But it's just a matter of time.
I was reading an article a while back that talked about the trend for leather seats. Back in the 60's and 70's cloth seats were all the rage. I remember our family's 75 Chevy Nova had them as an option, as opposed to the plastic seats that came standard. According to the article I was reading the only leather seats cars had back then were high end cars like Cadillacs, and then only the driver's seat. Not for luxury but because it was considered practical to have a long lasting material for the seat that got the most use.
I would agree with many of the luxuries listed. And with the fact that they become mandatory (or close to it.) Several years ago SO gave me a year of Clearme airport access for christmas. (It's the private version of quick airport security access.) SFO was one of their first airports, as was Denver. We live 15 minutes from SFO and Denver was a frequent destination for me both for work and when my father was dying.) I was traveling 20+ trips for work and made 10 trips to Denver to be with Dad at the time so I made good use of it. Now I maybe travel 5 times a year for work and 2-3 times for vacations. The renewal notice just showed up in my email last week and it's agony to me to consider shutting it down. Being able to show up at the airport an hour before my flight and have confidence that I will get on it is a luxury I'm not sure I want to drop. I suppose I could YMOYL it, crunch the numbers and see whether I'm spending more life energy working to pay the $179 annual fee for it vs. the number of hours I save by having it and not having to get to the airport earlier.
early morning
2-1-18, 11:24pm
Well, I resisted a dishwasher for many many years and now really would hate to not have one. I've always disliked doing dishes. We have window air conditioners in the bedrooms now and it does make sleep much easier! But I really dislike all the crap on cars these days.
Gardenarian
2-2-18, 2:04am
I think our biggest luxury, and one I take for granted, is owning our house. It's hard to imagine renting and losing the autonomy, freedom, and sense of security that come with owning your own little piece of earth.
I guess mostly I spend money for edibles (but I'm glad I neither drink much wine nor coffee as they are sounding much bother, fair trade organic tea bags for me :~)).d.
in Colorado edibles are something different, and lots of people spend a lot of money on them :)
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