Zoe Girl
2-7-18, 10:25pm
Last week after I got an email from my supervisor saying that I was impossible to supervise because I refused to take feedback I stopped by the office of his supervisor and asked if there were any resources to help us communicate better. I emphasized my intention to improve communication without laying blame, and she offered to help us with the conversation. It was scheduled today and I have been super nervous. A lot of this related to my one staff with all the issues and what happened last week.
I thought she did a great job of leading this conversation so that was good. I got to go first, talk about what was working and what wasn't and give some of my perspective. Then she checked in with him and there were some things we were in agreement on. We then spent a lot of time on what happened last week, I had called before I offered anything to my staff and I didn't get an answer about what to do. It was the hardest, most complicated situation I have had in a long time. So I made a decision that was obviously wrong. We talked about that the next day and then as a follow up email I heard the 'impossible to supervise' part. He had lots of copies of emails with highlighted parts, what fun! But that was not emphasized at least. This was more about communication style and effectiveness. At one point we hit a part that is underlying lots of what is going on, and I was super happy although uncomfortable. He said that he doesn't tell me what to do because I already have my mind made up and won't listen and had a few examples. Every one of those examples I asked questions and pushed but I did what I was told and let it go. I said I had concerns that the perception of why I missed something was not true, that I had work surges that made things difficult like all of us. I actually said that I am not insubordinate and I am not defiant. That felt assertive and necessary.
What I noticed at the end of the meeting was that my supervisor tried to give us both a list of every deadline or task I had ever been late on. His supervisor didn't let him give it to her or me. I admit my struggles there and repeated I had been open and asking for coaching support in this area. It felt supportive that she didn't let it turn into another meeting where I just listened to everything I do wrong. At the very end she gave me a lot of positive props for asking for this meeting, being willing to have this discussion and not letting problems continue. I noted that she really didn't say anything to him at that time, I am going to take this as a positive (as in I didn't screw up and should plan on getting fired). I said that I wanted to re-boot my year and honestly I am going to do everything to hit every single minor and major deadline, and document the crap out of it. I got a shout out for being so on top of my summer camp field trip work today. I am very forward thinking and independent about everything camp related,
On another note I talked to my staff who has missed more work and said I would accept the 2 weeks notice she offered a week and a half ago. She is disappointed of course, feeling like a victim, but I should have just taken it when she first offered.
I thought she did a great job of leading this conversation so that was good. I got to go first, talk about what was working and what wasn't and give some of my perspective. Then she checked in with him and there were some things we were in agreement on. We then spent a lot of time on what happened last week, I had called before I offered anything to my staff and I didn't get an answer about what to do. It was the hardest, most complicated situation I have had in a long time. So I made a decision that was obviously wrong. We talked about that the next day and then as a follow up email I heard the 'impossible to supervise' part. He had lots of copies of emails with highlighted parts, what fun! But that was not emphasized at least. This was more about communication style and effectiveness. At one point we hit a part that is underlying lots of what is going on, and I was super happy although uncomfortable. He said that he doesn't tell me what to do because I already have my mind made up and won't listen and had a few examples. Every one of those examples I asked questions and pushed but I did what I was told and let it go. I said I had concerns that the perception of why I missed something was not true, that I had work surges that made things difficult like all of us. I actually said that I am not insubordinate and I am not defiant. That felt assertive and necessary.
What I noticed at the end of the meeting was that my supervisor tried to give us both a list of every deadline or task I had ever been late on. His supervisor didn't let him give it to her or me. I admit my struggles there and repeated I had been open and asking for coaching support in this area. It felt supportive that she didn't let it turn into another meeting where I just listened to everything I do wrong. At the very end she gave me a lot of positive props for asking for this meeting, being willing to have this discussion and not letting problems continue. I noted that she really didn't say anything to him at that time, I am going to take this as a positive (as in I didn't screw up and should plan on getting fired). I said that I wanted to re-boot my year and honestly I am going to do everything to hit every single minor and major deadline, and document the crap out of it. I got a shout out for being so on top of my summer camp field trip work today. I am very forward thinking and independent about everything camp related,
On another note I talked to my staff who has missed more work and said I would accept the 2 weeks notice she offered a week and a half ago. She is disappointed of course, feeling like a victim, but I should have just taken it when she first offered.