View Full Version : Table manners - What's important
Hi, Everyone
Basic table manners seem to be evaporating in society across all age groups.
I just wrote the below tips on table manners to give to a college student I have been mentoring.
The list is posted here in case you know someone young through family or work who could benefit from it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Table manners - what’s important
Following the below customs shows respect. Breaking them is offering insult.
These rules apply to all venues. In business situations, following them is a great way to impress higher-ups with maturity and consideration for others.
Never, never, never talk with food in your mouth.
It looks gross and you cannot tuck food out of site. Impossible. Plus you appear vain and controlling: you think what you have to say is more important than others feeling disgusted.
If you are asked a question, people will wait for your answer or move the conversation along without your reply.
Turn off cell phone.
Never bring a phone to the table. Leave it in your pocket or purse with power off. Check messages after meal and away from table.
Imbibe no more than 2 drinks with alcohol.
Beer and wine preferred. Mixed drinks with soda pop (such as Rum and Coke) are considered adolescent choices.
Cover mouth when sneezing or coughing.
If coughing / sneezing is persistent, leave the table.
Contribute to conversation.
If you usually don’t have much to say, take a look at the news before the meal. NYTimes.com is good.
Only take second helpings if the hostess/host offers.
And never ask to take home “leftovers.” But you may accept if offered by hostess/host. Don’t take home leftovers from restaurants.
Food you don’t like
Mess it about on the plate so it looks like you have eaten some.
No gum at dining table or anywhere else
Chewing gum is childish and gross to see - like talking with food in your mouth. If you chew gum to hide tobacco smell, use mints or breath strips.
The ONLY place you can acceptably chew gum is on an airplane. People understand you are dealing with ear pain.
Never pass something over the plate of someone else.
Some people say these customs don’t apply to friends and family.
I wonder why people treat friends and family worse than they treat others.
These are good common sense rules.
There are others that signal good manners even though one might ask why. Such as, I remember one time when I was in college I went out to eat with Jessica and Terilynn. When we got back and Terilynn had left the room, Jessica said to me, "I was surprised when Terilynn buttered her bread all at once! I thought she had better manners." Up until then, I had absolutely no clue that you're supposed to tear off pieces of bread and then butter the pieces one at a time.
Another example is handling of utensils. There are a couple of accepted ways to use forks and knives and others not-so-acceptable. My husband was raised by his Scottish family, so he eats the UK way, with the knife ALWAYS in the right hand and the fork ALWAYS in the left. I follow American custom, cutting with the knife in my right hand but switching hands to eat. I have to admit that I don't like to see people gripping the fork with the fist wrapped around the handle, skewering the meat while it's being sawed by the knife. But if I had to choose, I'd rather have someone be pleasant and polite at the table than use their utensils properly.
iris lilies
2-15-18, 2:52pm
You are wrong about restaurant leavings. Of course it is ok to pack them out!
Here are a few more:
Eating with hands is tacky and wrong in most formal- ish sitations at a table. Fried chicken and etc may be exceptions.
The low class behavior I see most often is poor posture with the eater hunching overhis plate, elbows on table and often one arm cradleing his plate, and shoving in food quickly.
edited to add: oh, I see these are intended for busness get togethers. Well then, ok. I guess I would NOT
pack up leftover food in this situation.
Personally i dont use either utensil custom. As a left hander i always picked up the fork woth my left hand to eat. And if i needed the knofe i just pickednit up with the roght hand (it was on that sode of the plate after all...) and started cutting. It wasnt until i was in moddle school that i even noticed that this was non-standard.
Well, I am with Iris. Food that is not eaten in restaurants is going home with us for the next day or the next meal. They serve way too much food anyway.
Simplemind
2-15-18, 4:06pm
I don't know why the upside down fork in the left hand bugs me so much, but it does.
goldensmom
2-15-18, 5:38pm
I don't know why the upside down fork in the left hand bugs me so much, but it does.
Me too along with eating anything, other than a sandwich, with fingers or hands. This should go without saying but along with never talk with food in your mouth is close your mouth when chewing - in a restaurant, at home at the dinner table, snacking while watching TV, at a picnic - - chew with your mouth closed!!!
That's one reason I like Ethiopian restaurants--they're an all-hands-on-deck free for all. And also, I love the food...
BikingLady
2-15-18, 5:56pm
I don't know why the upside down fork in the left hand bugs me so much, but it does.
In Europe that is the way. Here not so much.
BikingLady
2-15-18, 5:57pm
That's one reason I like Ethiopian restaurants--they're an all-hands-on-deck free for all. And also, I love the food...
I have been meaning to go to the Ethiopian Restaurant since December! Must go, note to self.
Cover your mouth should specify by coughing into your sleeve, not on your hand clapped over your mouth. I learned this during the bird flu epidemic.
Watch the host or hostess for clues.
Don't begin eating until they do.
Especially if you don't agree with something, find a respectful way to state your point of view. If you don't make any headway with a true exchange of ideas, promptly change the subject to something safer.
Along that same line, perhaps come armed with one or two topics to discuss. Current events, hobbies, favorite vacation activity - whatever you feel is on a level of getting the ball rolling without being too personal.
This entire thread makes me tired. Not that I’m anti-manners - but it’s just so unimportant to me ... I’m much more interested in hearing interesting ideas. The list of rules makes it seem that looking and acting the part are more important than the content of one’s thoughts.
iris lilies
2-15-18, 9:59pm
This entire thread makes me tired. Not that I’m anti-manners - but it’s just so unimportant to me ... I’m much more interested in hearing interesting ideas. The list of rules makes it seem that looking and acting the part are more important than the content of one’s thoughts.
Social niceties smooth human communication. Someone coughing in my face turns me off hearing their ideas because their physical presence is prominent. Someone eating like an animal makes it hard for me to respect their intellectual content.
Although granted, eating chicken with fingers doesnt much matter.
Me too along with eating anything, other than a sandwich, with fingers or hands.
What about french fries? Not trying to be snarky, but I have a friend who would eat them with a fork. Just curious if you have his point of view or just didn't think of fries when posting.
Social niceties smooth human communication. Someone coughing in my face turns me off hearing their ideas because their physical presence is prominent. Someone eating like an animal makes it hard for me to respect their intellectual content.
Although granted, eating chicken with fingers doesnt much matter.
I'm not a super mannersy person. I do catch myself putting elbows on the table from time to time. And I couldn't care less what utensil someone uses. But I agree with certain basics. Covering one's mouth/nose when coughing/sneezing and so forth. I don't remember it but apparently my mother could barely eat when we visited my paternal grandparents because my grandfather ate with his mouth open. That, to me, is understandable. Toward that end I also prefer to have some sort of background music when people are eating. The general sounds of people masticating their food grosses me out.
I consider a good host/hostess will prepare enough for seconds for the main course and sides. Taking small amounts of seconds is a compliment to the cooking.
I don't see people placing napkins in their laps much these days. I still consider it good manners, though the practical function may be lost on me since I rarely see people spilling food.
I've had more than one dinner diminished by cell phones. Some one takes out a cell to show a photo of poochie and next thing you know all the cell phones are out looking at the discography of the Rolling Stones instead of good conversation.
The low class behavior I see most often is poor posture with the eater hunching overhis plate, elbows on table and often one arm cradleing his plate, and shoving in food quickly.
Iris Lilies - you are SO right about this one! I forgot how my brother used to do this as a teen and college guy. I felt like I would get growled at and perhaps bitten if I got too close to his cereal.
That's one reason I like Ethiopian restaurants--they're an all-hands-on-deck free for all. And also, I love the food...
My brother introduced me to this tasty and fun cuisine. He and his fiancee liked it so much they had it catered at their wedding. Unusual and a big hit.
More points could have been added. I agree with several items posted here.
My list prints out to a single page. I didn't want to overwhelm the students and have them reject the entire list.
And I wanted them to focus on respect and common sense rather than having them memorize a longer list.
It’s not that I want people to be rude when eating - it’s that there's more to life than robotically following a list of rules.
This list makes it feel so superficial. I am bored by people who focus on following the rules. I want more depth.
I don’t think I’m making my point very well ...
goldensmom
2-16-18, 7:33am
What about french fries? Not trying to be snarky, but I have a friend who would eat them with a fork. Just curious if you have his point of view or just didn't think of fries when posting.
Not snarky, good question and you are right, I did not think of fries when I posted. If I am in a restaurant and have a fork I will use the fork to eat French fries. If I am at a fast food restaurant, I will use my fingers rather than ask for a fork even though I prefer a fork as I don't like grease and salt on my fingers. It is also part of my upbringing where we were taught table manners, i.e. no elbows on the table, use a napkin, ask to be excused before leaving the table, proper use of eating utensils (American not European), say please and thank you, civil conversation, etc.. Childhood imprinting is powerful. :)
Not snarky, good question and you are right, I did not think of fries when I posted. If I am in a restaurant and have a fork I will use the fork to eat French fries. If I am at a fast food restaurant, I will use my fingers rather than ask for a fork even though I prefer a fork as I don't like grease and salt on my fingers.
First of all, I don't think I've ever ordered fries in a nice restaurant. But I also think the idea of cutting a fry with a knife is a little weird. I would eat small shoestring fries with a fork, but if they're too big to put in my mouth, I'd eat them with my fingers. I'm probably totally uncouth, but I can't remember ever cutting a French fry with a knife.
I eat the european way, I guess..........I hold the knife in my right hand and the fork in my right. It makes more sense to me, and is more energy-efficient, than cutting things the "proper" way.....putting the knife up and down/changing hands with the fork, then constantly repeating.
Seriously......how can we call my way "not having manners"?
I have to share a memory that popped into my head while reading this thread. I was in a state mental institution when I was a teenager (Bad home life, depression). Anyhow.......one day all the girls were taken to a room in the main building to learn table manners. We sat around a big set table (there were about 12 of us....all teens) and were taught how to eat properly at a table. The image makes me laugh still........all these 'misfits' learning manners.
dado potato
2-16-18, 8:43am
"Never break your bread or roll in your soup." Especially the latter. <Wink.>
iris lilies
2-16-18, 9:20am
It’s not that I want people to be rude when eating - it’s that there's more to life than robotically following a list of rules.
This list makes it feel so superficial. I am bored by people who focus on following the rules. I want more depth.
I don’t think I’m making my point very well ...
oh sure, but this list is, I think, for people who WANT the information, and who WANT to blend in with Standard American Cultural Dining norms.
Keeping them in their ignorance would be “hoarding” social capital according to certain social justice warriors. I’m sure you dont want to be a selfish hoarder. :~)
Would I really care about dining out with a friend who picked out mushrooms from her salad with her fingers or who put her napkin on the front of her blouse? Of course not, especially if she had some juicy gossip to impart during lunch.
Interesting perspectives on fries. I routinely eat them with a fork, primarily because they are best doused with ketchup. Using a fork and possibly knife avoids getting the finger gooey with ketchup. I suppose there are fry dippers rather than dousers, but it can still be a messy finger food.
I try to avoid restaurants where you are expected to eat foods normally considered "finger foods" with a fork.
iris lilies
2-16-18, 9:49am
I try to avoid restaurants where you are expected to eat foods normally considered "finger foods" with a fork.
I go to high end restaurants but they dont serve french fries.
When I go out to eat, I vastly prefer family-owned ethnic restaurants where the most important thing is the quality of the food--and I eat my samosas, pakoras, tacos, and egg rolls with my fingers, happily.
Don’t slurp.
Don’t chew with your mouth open.
Don’t pick at your teeth with your fingernail.
Being mostly vegan pretty much eliminates most high end restaurants around and I usually end up in ethnic places.
There is a Hispanic place that serves up a popular dish of fries topped with green chili and melted cheese. Some day I'm going to take a get out of vegan jail card and try it.
jrpoole59
2-16-18, 11:41am
So! I am not the only lefty that does this?!
goldensmom
2-16-18, 11:57am
Interesting perspectives on fries. I routinely eat them with a fork, primarily because they are best doused with ketchup. Using a fork and possibly knife avoids getting the finger gooey with ketchup. I suppose there are fry dippers rather than dousers, but it can still be a messy finger food.
A kindred spirit but I am a dipper.
I go to high end restaurants but they dont serve french fries.
The most highfalutin restaurant we go to is Red Lobster. I don’t like seafood but I do like their fish and chips and I eat the fries with a fork.
I don't enjoy high-end restaurants. The food generally has little appeal for me, the prices never, and the general snobbery--that often swirls like a miasma--grates (but I love reading their menus for laughs...). I had enough of that at sorority functions to last me a lifetime. I'm sure there are exceptions, but that's my experience.
I think it's worthwhile to learn the basics of good manners, though. You might need them some day. :~)
iris lilies
2-16-18, 1:03pm
I don't enjoy high-end restaurants. The food generally has little appeal for me, the prices never, and the general snobbery--that often swirls like a miasma--grates (but I love reading their menus for laughs...). I had enough of that at sorority functions to last me a lifetime. I'm sure there are exceptions, but that's my experience.
I think it's worthwhile to learn the basics of good manners, though. You might need them some day. :~)
It depends what you mean by high end restaurants. I wonder if you actually have any, or many, given your distain?
St. Louis has an incredibly rich array of quality restaurants serving Italian and Italian inspired
new American cuisine as well as some Asian fusion high end places, plus hundreds of places where food is taken very seriously. Only a handful would I call snobby. The snobby places are last generation places, ones made famous by our parents.
The most pretentious place we have been to was a high end steak place where they maintained little cubbies in the reception area for people to park their own wine. Good god. And the prices were outrageous. Someone had given DH a gift certificate for this ridiculous place. It is an old place trying to be clubby and apparently set up for business dinners and places where old men bring their young mistresses.
For those who know St. Louis, we have never been to Tony’s the most obsequious serving situation in town.
The new great restaurants here are owned by people younger than me and they are really good at making food.
granted, I am not a good cook and so I like getting quality food outside of our kitchen.
And for the record, I love slopping ketchup onto french fries and eating them with my fingers and yes it is a messy thing indeed.
No, I haven't been to many. A friend of a friend is a fairly well-known chef in the PNW, and she goes to various places and reports back. I read menus, and honestly--if I can easily make a meal, I'll do that. Steak and seafood aren't appealing to me, so that lets out a lot of places, and I'm not willing to spend $25 on a salad.
I remember one place we went to--Indigine, in Portland--that was a very well reviewed restaurant that served Indian food once a week. First off, we were personae non grata because we didn't order wine; there must have been 10 courses, and I was ready to pass out from the effects of a long day and all the food, and they refused to serve me coffee (maybe I should have asked for caffeinated Cabernet...). At any rate, I'm sure there are places where the experience and/or the food are worth the outlay.
I'm not a foodie by a long shot, but my DH is. There isn't a food blogger he doesn't know about, nor a food network show he hasn't seen. Next to the Bible on our living room bookshelf is a 40 year old copy of La Technique by Jacques Pepin--and woe to me if I ever donated it to the library. So I have definitely accompanied him to nice restaurants. And I've been to many in the course of my work with clients. I have no disdain for them. Good food preparation is an art and a difficult-but-worthy skill, and a good dining experience is purely subjective, but not exclusive to either small family restaurants or 5-star Michelin restaurants.
So knowing good manners cross-trains you for any dining experience you may be obligated to have or choose to have.
Re the fries. I'm a dipper. I hate soggy starches.
iris lilies
2-16-18, 3:01pm
Steak and seafood are the least interesting things to me on a menu. With our family raised beef, if we cook it carefully, we can equal or beat 90% of quality restaurants for beef.
I want to eat what the chef specializes in.
So knowing good manners cross-trains you for any dining experience you may be obligated to have or choose to have.
VERY well stated!
I will quote you when I speak with my students.
Thanks!
Gardenarian
2-17-18, 1:10am
My daughter has something called misophonia. It's a strange hearing/ brain thing - extremely acute hearing combined with a sort of phobia.
At any rate, she can't bear people making loud eating noises, licking their lips, clanking silverware, smacking, licking their fingers. Going to the movies is kind of a challenge, with people dipping their faces directly in their popcorn and loudly slurping on near-empty drinks. Eating with open mouth and making loud chewing, swallowing, and belching noises are the worst for her. It's like fingernails on as blackboard.
This has made me much more aware of eating habits and manners. All these things are mildly gross to everyone. It would be a nicer world if better manners were the rule.
Thanks for posting!
frugal-one
2-17-18, 2:12am
Pizza... at times a finger food.
ToomuchStuff
2-17-18, 2:48am
Hi, Everyone
Basic table manners seem to be evaporating in society across all age groups.
I just wrote the below tips on table manners to give to a college student I have been mentoring.
The list is posted here in case you know someone young through family or work who could benefit from it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Table manners - what’s important
Following the below customs shows respect. Breaking them is offering insult.
These rules apply to all venues. In business situations, following them is a great way to impress higher-ups with maturity and consideration for others.
1.Never, never, never talk with food in your mouth.
It looks gross and you cannot tuck food out of site. Impossible. Plus you appear vain and controlling: you think what you have to say is more important than others feeling disgusted.
If you are asked a question, people will wait for your answer or move the conversation along without your reply.
2.Turn off cell phone.
Never bring a phone to the table. Leave it in your pocket or purse with power off. Check messages after meal and away from table.
3.Imbibe no more than 2 drinks with alcohol.
Beer and wine preferred. Mixed drinks with soda pop (such as Rum and Coke) are considered adolescent choices.
Cover mouth when sneezing or coughing.
If coughing / sneezing is persistent, leave the table.
4.Contribute to conversation.
If you usually don’t have much to say, take a look at the news before the meal. NYTimes.com is good.
Only take second helpings if the hostess/host offers.
And never ask to take home “leftovers.” But you may accept if offered by hostess/host. Don’t take home leftovers from restaurants.
5.Food you don’t like
Mess it about on the plate so it looks like you have eaten some.
No gum at dining table or anywhere else
Chewing gum is childish and gross to see - like talking with food in your mouth. If you chew gum to hide tobacco smell, use mints or breath strips.
The ONLY place you can acceptably chew gum is on an airplane. People understand you are dealing with ear pain.
Never pass something over the plate of someone else.
Some people say these customs don’t apply to friends and family.
I wonder why people treat friends and family worse than they treat others.
I disagree with the ALL that I bolded.
1. I would not say never. Not going to take the time to finish chewing and swallow, when I see a kid choking, et. (alert the closest adult)
2. I deal with cops who are on call, as well as having some doctors I know who are on call. I once was out with a friend whose wife was pregnant, so is he expected to turn his phone off, if they have had complications before?
3. I have NEVER liked beer. I also don't like wine. Back when I drank, years ago (before giving it up to be the designated driver), my drink of choice was a mixed drink. So the time I celebrated a friend getting his dream job at KMOX and his wife's cancer remission, I shouldn't have had that? How about when a friend of ours, who hadn't felt good, had been told by the doctors he had less then two months to live? Even his employers, who had a no alcohol policy, all had a drink with him in a life celebration get together.
4. There are times to keep ones mouth shut. I will leave it at that.
5. I don't mess around with food that has allergens in it. You could have something on your plate, and still avoid having a reaction by not getting it on utensils.
It’s not that I want people to be rude when eating - it’s that there's more to life than robotically following a list of rules.
This list makes it feel so superficial. I am bored by people who focus on following the rules. I want more depth.
I don’t think I’m making my point very well ...
I think the important thing is no rule is 100%. Extenuating circumstances can/do exist in the real world.
I eat the european way, I guess..........I hold the knife in my right hand and the fork in my right. It makes more sense to me, and is more energy-efficient, than cutting things the "proper" way.....putting the knife up and down/changing hands with the fork, then constantly repeating.
Seriously......how can we call my way "not having manners"?
So your knife and fork are in the same hand, like chopsticks? Must have more nimble fingers.
rosarugosa
2-17-18, 7:23am
Personally i dont use either utensil custom. As a left hander i always picked up the fork woth my left hand to eat. And if i needed the knofe i just pickednit up with the roght hand (it was on that sode of the plate after all...) and started cutting. It wasnt until i was in moddle school that i even noticed that this was non-standard.
I say to hell with Righties making rules that eating right-handed is proper and eating left-handed is improper. Lefties of the world unite!
I disagree with the ALL that I bolded.
1. I would not say never. Not going to take the time to finish chewing and swallow, when I see a kid choking, et. (alert the closest adult)
2. I deal with cops who are on call, as well as having some doctors I know who are on call. I once was out with a friend whose wife was pregnant, so is he expected to turn his phone off, if they have had complications before?
3. I have NEVER liked beer. I also don't like wine. Back when I drank, years ago (before giving it up to be the designated driver), my drink of choice was a mixed drink. So the time I celebrated a friend getting his dream job at KMOX and his wife's cancer remission, I shouldn't have had that? How about when a friend of ours, who hadn't felt good, had been told by the doctors he had less then two months to live? Even his employers, who had a no alcohol policy, all had a drink with him in a life celebration get together.
4. There are times to keep ones mouth shut. I will leave it at that.
5. I don't mess around with food that has allergens in it. You could have something on your plate, and still avoid having a reaction by not getting it on utensils.
I think the important thing is no rule is 100%. Extenuating circumstances can/do exist in the real world.
So your knife and fork are in the same hand, like chopsticks? Must have more nimble fingers.
Oops!.....I meant fork in my left hand.
goldensmom
2-17-18, 8:03am
Personally i dont use either utensil custom. As a left hander i always picked up the fork woth my left hand to eat. And if i needed the knofe i just pickednit up with the roght hand (it was on that sode of the plate after all...) and started cutting. It wasnt until i was in moddle school that i even noticed that this was non-standard.
I say to hell with Righties making rules that eating right-handed is proper and eating left-handed is improper. Lefties of the world unite!
That is fair and acceptable. Left handers can reverse all the rules of the right handers. ;)
iris lilies
2-17-18, 9:20am
TMS, I thnk the list is geared toward traditional business type gatherings, not family and social gatherings.
The tip about what alcohol to avoid seems very silly to me, who would possibly care about that? But if one wants to project an image of responsibility to be respected, I suppose the childish drink could signal the wrong thing in certain circles bUt that is reaching.Better avoid ordering anything on the menu that looks remotely like chicken Mcfingers then, too.
In a business lunch where you are with clients and bosses, of course you will turn off your phone because you must signal that they are more important. If you have a pregnant wife ready to pop any moment, explain that to the table at large and leave your phone on, they will understand.
If your wife is imminently about to give birth, put your phone in your pocket with the setting on vibe. Do you really need the ringer??
My daughter has something called misophonia. It's a strange hearing/ brain thing - extremely acute hearing combined with a sort of phobia.
At any rate, she can't bear people making loud eating noises, licking their lips, clanking silverware, smacking, licking their fingers. Going to the movies is kind of a challenge, with people dipping their faces directly in their popcorn and loudly slurping on near-empty drinks. Eating with open mouth and making loud chewing, swallowing, and belching noises are the worst for her. It's like fingernails on as blackboard.
This has made me much more aware of eating habits and manners. All these things are mildly gross to everyone. It would be a nicer world if better manners were the rule.
Thanks for posting!
Wow Gardenarian.........I never knew about this condition. I think I have it! I'm sorry about your daughter. Has she found anything that helps? Does she have any other conditions too? You can P.M. me if you would rather do that, than post here.
Pizza... at times a finger food.
I don't know anyone who eats pizza with utensils.
I don't know anyone who eats pizza with utensils.
That would be my 20 year old son. He has an aversion to knives but he'll saw through pizza with a fork. Drives me batty. "Pick it up and bite it off with your teeth like God intended!"
That would be my 20 year old son. He has an aversion to knives but he'll saw through pizza with a fork. Drives me batty. "Pick it up and bite it off with your teeth like God intended!"
LOL! My DH does that too! Maybe he feels like it lasts longer that way, or something.
I often use a fork and knife for pizza. I don't want cheese sliding off the slice.
Gardenarian
2-18-18, 1:21am
CathyA - for the misophonia - she saw a cognitive behavioral therapist, which didn't get rid of the problem but helped her to realize when her reactions were inappropriate. She finds meditation helps and usually leaves one earbud in playing music when people are eating. So she's coping pretty well, but occasionally flies off the handle with DH.
For most females who have this, it is a male relative (brother or father) who is the first to cause a trigger the symptoms. Bizarre.
https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/misophonia-sounds-really-make-crazy-2017042111534
Williamsmith
2-18-18, 3:43am
I will often eat pizza with a fork and knife but not always. I experienced an increase in obsessive compulsive activity during my recovery from a traumatic spine injury. It manifested itself in orderliness and fears of contamination. Therefore, eating pizza with a fork actually triggers both responses.
I have always had a concern for perfection in my work. It could be that I simply take my slippers off and arrange them in the exact same place measured by a mark on the floor for many months on end but then the need will suddenly stop. These are called rituals. I eat left handed but I write and do many other things right handed. I have a strict bedtime routine. Because of this details can be very important. I believe this is part of the reason why I was a successful criminal investigator and part of the reason I suffered from stress related illness.
With me, it is all related to neurological injury. So, have a little sympathy for the person who eats pizza with a fork and knife. My wife knows when all there is available are cheap plastic forks and knives....that I’ll be breaking off the fork more than once.
Surely whether or not a person holds a fork in the left hand and a knife in the right, or uses utensils for pizza are personal preference?
I can’t imagine any scenario where slurping, gobbling, chomping, spraying food particles or dribbling from an open mouth while chewing or talking, or picking teeth with a fingernail would be other than off-putting.
I eat with a fork in my left hand and a knife in my right. I cut one bite of food at a time rather than chopping everything on my plate at one go. I don’t turn my fork upside down and use it like a spoon. I don’t know why this way of eating upsets so many people! It’s simply the way I was raised. It’s our cultural norm. I’ve heard strangers at nearby tables in restaurants comment very loudly on this; I’ve even been asked outright by people who stop at my table why I eat so funny. Now that’s really bad table manners!
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