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I was just asked to have a meeting with my supervisor and his supervisor this week about questions and concerns, I am very very scared. I feel I am going to get fired, and one mistake I made would be possible to say that honestly for.
I just left a message for our HR representative to see if I need support there. I have no idea. But I am spending time getting everything off my computer and prepared.
If I do get fired I am very concerned about my mental health. It is on the edge already.
I'm sorry to hear this ZG. :(
If it happens you may feel a great weight lifted off you as this job has been so dysfunctional for so long. You can always file for unemployment. If you have been doing your best you should be able to collect. Only gross misconduct should prevent that - like no call no show or hitting someone or stealing.
rosarugosa
3-13-18, 5:57pm
I'm sorry too, but I would second what Yppej said. This happened to someone close to me several years ago, and they actually did that person an enormous favor.
I was fired years ago and it was a huge relief. Good luck!
Is it possible that you could be offered something really good?
ApatheticNoMore
3-13-18, 6:44pm
What will happen will happen, I mean if they are determined to fire you, they will, but you don't KNOW THAT for sure and so no point to pretend you do (sure send out resumes asap or anything else you can think of but other than that). It could be just a discussion or a warning (not that it is good to get warnings, it buys time to look for other work frankly!). And really if they wanted to fire you that much they would probably not postpone the meeting but just get it done with, so that's a slightly positive tea leaf I guess to the extent that we can really read tea leaves here (we can't).
I got fired for one mistake and with no warnings and I'm living out the results. But frankly they hated me before that for reasons I tried hard to fathom but since I had little CONCRETE feedback could never really put a finger on (some kind of mean girls junior high cliquish dynamic it always seemed, although my introversion might have not helped). My desk was cleaned out, I was ready to meet a fate I felt like there was nothing I could even do to prevent. Like a condemned man to the gallows I had made my peace with whatever would happen, I must have been the calmest firee they ever saw.
I haven't even collected unemployment, as it's not clear cut that one qualifies if fired, and I signed a severance as well. Living off of severance and that spent now savings. A blessing? Well I have another interview (woo hoo!), but the job is very far away and will require me to move to that part of town, not near anything. So really I wish I never took my last job, stupid ruin my life job, although I did it hoping for career advancement but it wasn't at all as well thought out as I thought back then. But one just has to try to pick up the pieces, I just want to work really, would take government bennies in the meantime if I could get any though. As for mental health I struggle with pretty severe depression and crying jigs due to unemployment (yes it's entirely situational, not that I'm naturally an optimist but I'm fairly ok when I'm working and would be if I won the lottery too :)).
iris lilies
3-13-18, 7:04pm
To all of you struggling, I wish you well. Nothing else I can say but it is too bad that you are hurting.
rosarugosa
3-13-18, 7:04pm
ANM: You should definitely try applying for UE. Usually you are eligible unless you quit voluntarily or are terminated for willful misconduct. My work team handled UE claims for many years. A severance agreement usually just prevents you from suing them, not from collecting UE benefits.
To all of you struggling, I wish you well. Nothing else I can say but it is too bad that you are hurting.
+1
I have no advice either. My son was let go last fall and he just got another job that starts April 2. As I told him back when he was reeling from the experience, everyone goes through it. You think you're the only one. I was once let go from a really good job. So was my husband.
If that's what's about to happen to you, ZG, keep in mind that it's not a reflection of your character or your abilities.
There's a mean girl clique at my current job ANM so I feel for you.But my interview Monday evening went well. One thing I am unsure about, and the interviewer did not know, is since I froze my credit due to the Equifax breach, will they still be able to do a credit check on me which they require? Does anyone know the answer?
I do have copies of my reports from all 3 credit bureaus from late last year as well as my Discover statement with my credit score on it.
rosarugosa
3-13-18, 7:43pm
Yppej: You will need to temporarily lift the freeze for the credit check to be done. If they make you a job offer, ask them to let you know when the background check is being ordered, and then you can go ahead and lift the freeze.
dado potato
3-13-18, 7:55pm
ZG,
I have never been fired, but I am sure it would feel dreadful to be in fear of it. Obviously I don't know what is up, or what is on this supervisor's agenda. I would not assume the meeting is for the purpose of termination, unless this is a established way of doing things around there. To me it seems more likely that your "superior" in the hierarchy wants to assert control of you ... give you a "recognize your mistake" and "don't let it happen again".
If so, I would imagine the interaction would tend to be aversive. But I believe you can make it less toxic by adopting an attitude going in that
criticism does not harm you, it makes you stronger and more effective, and
what you say is not nearly as important as what you do, and
you do not lack worth because people have "questions and concerns"... rather, your calling (or occupation, if you prefer) is demanding, and
you are willing and able to improve procedures, and you welcome insights from your superior about how you could improve them.
De-stress after the meeting. Got a whirlpool you can soak in?
mschrisgo2
3-13-18, 9:02pm
ZG, this quote has been attributed to many people, so I'm not sure who to give credit- but I have seen so much in the employment field that I truly believe it.
Things don't happen to you, they happen for you.
People sticking it out in miserable jobs, get "fired" and land on their feet in other incredible jobs.
Doors have to close before others can open.
** Another possible scenario is that they have learned that you are actively looking for employment elsewhere, and will make you an offer to stay.I would suggest that you not jump on it, but take at least a couple of days to consider all aspects, if that is indeed the case.
Thank you all, I am applying for as many jobs as I can tonight. If I am fired or put on leave I will immediately have to hand over my laptop and I only have a tablet and chromebook myself. There is something that is almost freeing, and then since I already have the deep lurking constant depression of course I am scared of that getting out of control. I would love it if I had a friend to stay with or who could stay with me. I do have one friend who said I can call anytime, my other bestest friend is recovering from a double mastectomy, so not going to tell her much.
I still am cringing about my mistakes. I talked to the psychologist at school, and the office manager. They both said that I do a great job. I do a great job building relationships, and creating programming, and a lot of things. I have a lot to learn about the business side of this. I just can't take the negative stress level, and any time things go back on him then I run the risk of retaliation. Considering that I got a write up for one email, one day late, during my busiest week of the year I figure that it would be pretty easy to go after me. Is it possible to tell people you just need to be treated nice? There is an aspect of abuse that is simply overemphasizing one negative compared to the bigger picture. I have never had any luck dealing with this type of treatment other than just leaving.
My mantra, I have always had a job! No matter what I have had a job. I can immediately apply for sub teacher positions in multiple districts, I can apply for weekend jobs, nanny positions, etc.
To all of you struggling, I wish you well. Nothing else I can say but it is too bad that you are hurting.
That means a lot IL,
Williamsmith
3-13-18, 10:59pm
ZG,
I know you have a different spirit than me but if it happened....first thing Id do is see an attorney and fight for my job back. Not that I would really want it back but strategically, if you win you will get reinstated and backpay. Then you can quit on your own terms. Also, I’d file for unemployment compensation. The work is there and you want to do it. Unless you are terminated for a criminal act or they have documented evidence of incompetence justifying your termination....you can get it. There is absolutely no downside to filing for it as far as I know. You might have to prove you are actively seeking employment but that is little to do in exchange for peace of mind. It’s what you have been paying into UE for all these years. Get the benefit.
I do know that I can get 24 hours to consider what to do if they want to fire me. I may be put on a leave and have my computer and phone taken, so I need to prepare for that. I am not sure how they would classify my mistake, I thought an outside provider had the proper documents finished and they didn't. I stopped the class and then they went through another route to run their class at my school without being under my supervision. I learned a LOT and am already making changes.
I just applied to a job I think I would love, Volunteer Coordinator with the hospital. And if I resign then they need to pay my vacation time out, I have about 30 days. Given the option I would resign, take the vacation pay and immediately work at anything I could possibly get quickly. Lease is up in 2 months,
Okay just posted that in the middle of the night everything looks bad, and it has been a bad year. I know someone who tried to fight her termination with our department and lost. I have never known anyone to get very far with that. I honestly made a mistake! A couple people have left our department fired or leaving with the threat of firing and I have not seen get any job.
Mostly I just need support, friends or family, someone to just be around on a regular basis. If I still have a job there will be no break or massage, I will need to work even harder to fix things and prove myself, even if I plan on leaving and just want to leave on good terms.
Okay just posted that in the middle of the night everything looks bad, and it has been a bad year. I know someone who tried to fight her termination with our department and lost. I have never known anyone to get very far with that. I honestly made a mistake! A couple people have left our department fired or leaving with the threat of firing and I have not seen get any job.
Mostly I just need support, friends or family, someone to just be around on a regular basis. If I still have a job there will be no break or massage, I will need to work even harder to fix things and prove myself, even if I plan on leaving and just want to leave on good terms.
Saying prayers for good things to happen in your life, Zoe. I can't help but feel that if you do get fired by these folks, it will turn out to be a blessing in disguise, as you are not happy in that job and they do not treat you well and nothing you do seems to make it better. I think you deserve to be much happier at work and a better job is definitely out there for you!
If you don't get fired, but they have some "plan for improvement" this is a great warning to keep going with your plan to seek a new job. I would go so far as saying that the universe may want you to be teaching somewhere else, in another state. Florida is very aggressively looking for teachers, and you do not have a mortgage or even a lease in two months, and you could sub down there, too. It might be a fun thing to do for a few years--you can always live lightly and go back to Colorado after a break.
And buy a cheap computer if you cannot do your job searching with what you have. Walmart tends to have the best cheap computer prices.
You are a valuable person, and skilled, creative, and competent. Do not let these folks make you feel bad about yourself anymore.
I do know that no matter what I need to leave. I had a bright moment where there was a positive tone with my supervisor's boss in emails, and a little from him. Then I feel the negative again. It is pervasive, Another person in my position left without any job lined up recently. He just said the stress pushed him too far. I was talking with a colleague about how much has changed in 5 years (and posted about it in the people contact thread). I really think I did better with 4 schools and 30 tasks each than one school and 100 highly detailed different tasks. I have been saying that for a couple years, but when the department changed it was not a choice for any of us. Plus we had contact with colleagues on a much more regular basis, involvement with the decisions that affected us, just very small things that added up to a more supportive environment. I can't even recall the last time anyone called me, personally or professionally.
I have a last day in mind in case I choose to resign, it would be enough time to get things in order but I can't even imagine a new person being able to prepare for and run my summer program collaboration. It has already started with a big recruitment push that takes building relationships with multiple people and knowing the program deeply. I can see them getting through this school year without me but am concerned about summer.
I got a call back from the HR representative and that was nice, I do know I am getting a corrective action and am not getting fired. That makes it much easier, She did a lot of HR speak but assured me that I had a right to have accommodations if needed at work, if they are able to work with them, I just want them to know now. This has been too hard for too long, I also will respond to this one. I didn't over the last one. Basically I learned that insubordination is any time you are told something to do and you don't get it done regardless of the size of the task or the reason you didn't get it done. Yes it makes sense, and I am glad that I don't manage that way, She did ask if I needed to take time off, well that just means more things not getting done but I have accrued 30 days of vacation so that means I really am not taking reasonable amounts of time off on a regular basis, and it is not because I don't want to.
I still have counselor and psychiatrist to talk to.
catherine
3-14-18, 12:13pm
I got a call back from the HR representative and that was nice, I do know I am getting a corrective action and am not getting fired.
Haha.. be honest. Were you at all disappointed?
But really, I'm sure just knowing that puts your mind as ease.
Actually no, i can still walk in any timeto and give my notice. That gives a little more confidence to the process. Getting fired would have probably landed me in an er somewhere and then findinga way to stay withthe someone until i was a little bit better.
I left a messagefor a ccounselor and can talk resigning with him. I do however really want to justtake off for a long weekend or before summer program, but don't think i will still be here at thisjob
ApatheticNoMore
3-14-18, 12:39pm
Like I said you don't know :) And a government entity is generally going to have more bureaucracy and procedures they often go through before it ever gets to firing. Disappointed, heh well misery loves company, but the job market doesn't seem nearly as good as we are being constantly told and it's best not to have to know this through experience, so really it's all best avoided.
Use it as a sign to do everything within your power to get out of there I think (although we can see what the feedback is, minor or more major etc) while trying to keep your job in the meantime, and you can know you did all you could.
You have a goal and a plan and so what if you get a corrective action. So What. Thank them for their feedback, give them any corrective info to inaccurate info they have, apologize for whatever, promise to do better, and get out of the meeting. It might also be possible to subtly advise them of the huge amount of work coming up for the summer program which you are involved in.
Take some vacation or make a weekend a vacation. Even if it is to stay home, eat in bed, crochet/knit something, watch a movie, etc. Listen to some positive audio book or music. Something to occupy your time. Do not answer your phone. Or maybe play with grandbaby. Try to keep work out of your mind.
Not sure your HR has the right definition of insubordination. If you are trying to get things done and are working in the direction given by supervisor and something is missed, not deliberately or with knowledge, it does not appear to be insubordination. https://www.shrm.org/resourcesandtools/tools-and-samples/hr-qa/pages/cms_020144.aspx
Honestly, you ought to go see an employment lawyer and request a meeting about disability and accommodations. And tell him about the bogus definition of insubordination, very interesting; would not want that on my record and would be seeing an attorney now.
rosarugosa
3-14-18, 3:10pm
It might be good to take a short break, but if that time off would be paid out to you upon termination, then it might be worth holding onto as much as you can, since this could be another financial cushion. It's also good to have time off available if you need to go on interviews.
If I remember correctly you are on some type of medication. Depending on your diagnosis, or the side effects of the medicine, you may qualify for an accommodation. I would consider asking for this if it is an option.
Chicken lady
3-14-18, 3:56pm
Do you get paid for unused vacation if you leave?
because if not, take the vacation!
i once worked in a job with irregular hours and hourly pay. I had three sick days. I had to take one, and then it didn’t show up on my paycheck. When I spoke to the administration I was told that it wasn’t a standard 8 hour sick day, I had to document how many hours I would have worked that day in order to be paid. I had to spend my (unpaid) lunch break standing (literally) in the business managers office going back through old schedules (on weekly paper calendar pages) and memos to find the original schedule for the day I missed, and the memo that I had called in, make copies, and write a note. To get paid for 7.5 hours. At $5.45.
the next time they scheduled me for 13 hours on a Friday, I called in sick.
I do get paid out. I am very clear that if I still work 40 hours in the week I don't take it as vacation even if I take a chunk of time off. It has to be less than 40.
I am doing payroll right now, argh. So complicated. I have to send in their time sheets on a spread sheet, if they are a para then I have to include their day time card to prove they have worked 40 hours. Then if the week is not a full pay period they don't get paid that week until the next month while they make sure they really worked 40 to get that overtime. We only get paid once a month so that is hard to have some overtime hours wait another month, even though it makes sense. This is just the payroll for 4 out of 10 people, then I have other systems for the rest and the due time is 8 am the day after the pay period ends. I have to literally wait until everyone clocks out and then approve payroll, that part is only 4 staff at least. I hear over summer we are changing systems
Chicken lady
3-14-18, 4:52pm
THEY are changing systems - you will have a new job. :)
THEY are changing systems - you will have a new job. :)
Yeah! And maybe a job without payroll? Just testing and data and student attendance.
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