self sabotage, or ,...

[Zoe Girl]

I went to the counselor for work and he was super nice. I already feel some good things, it is different when you go in with one specific thing rather than a generalized angst. (not knocking generalized angst however). We made some connections to me losing my temper with boss, and a thing to do to practice not losing my temper. The counselor was validating to what was happening also.

So the next thing, and deep thought, is that I have been told or otherwise figured out that people see me as hard working and capable, so they are mystified when I don;t get something done. It is easy to say I am self sabotaging. But as the flower photos that dado posted there is often an invisible support for some people that makes them capable and beautiful. You may never see that a person does not have that support, so it seems they are just blowing it. I have been beating myself up about some things, and part of the truth is just that I get exhausted and as a result confused and not able to work one more hour at one more thing. Especially a thing that is not supported.

Not sure how to explain this to people, probably no ones business, however interesting.

[Teacher Terry]

You are overworked and that is the problem. YOu are not the problem.

[Tybee]

I picked up on this, Zoe:
"He made some connections to me losing my temper with boss, and a thing to do to practice not losing my temper. The counselor was validating to what was happening also. "

This is great advice and something I resonate with with an ongoing and major problem with my brother right now. I can feel myself getting triggered by the things he says and does, and I need to substitute some other reaction when he does these things, when I am triggered, so that I can reclaim my thoughts and my reality--I don't want to be triggered by him, I want to control my own life and my feelings. So I like the idea of substituting something positive for when he does these things and I go into a defensive mode--it is reasonable to feel the way I do, but it is not helping me to go into that mode.

So I am trying to figure out something strong and positive to substitute for my negative reaction!

[Zoe Girl]

The counselor worked with me on grounding my body and breathing. I know these things, heck I teach these things, but in the moment I have a hard time with this guy.

One of my mantras is supposed to be "he is not P" (that is my exhusband) Even if some behaviors seem similar then he is still not my ex, and I can leave and get another job and not think about him again!