not again,...

[Zoe Girl]

I have talked to 4 different people to calm the heck down, and took my restless leg medication so I have some hope of sleeping. I was finally starting to sleep again without pacing for an hour in the middle of the night. It has taken weeks to get back to this point.

I got an email from my supervisor and it included that there may be disciplinary action. OMFG! He is on a cruise for a week so I can stress the entire time.

The deal is that I have one of those camp days coming up that was getting close to the limit for registration. The registration needs to be closed manually. I called my registration person like I do for all things, and in the conversation she did ask if I asked him yet. I said no. Then she asked me what I wanted to do a couple times, we talked it through and eventually I said 'okay just do it'. Then I talked to my supervisor later and told him about it, talked it through, he asked questions and I answered them. I thought we were okay, after all he has not been part of any of these conversations about my enrollments all year.

Then I get an email that says I know I cannot make decisions about my program alone, it captured part of the conversation I had with the registration person, and then said disciplinary action was possible. He has NEVER given me a list of what needs to be approved or not by him, I have followed ALL directions concerning camp days including moving sites, moving staff, staying within staffing levels, etc. If I was not authorized to make this decision then WHY did they change it based on what I said. I was just calling to point out that we were close to the limit and I was concerned about getting too many kids.

I talked to my job coach who now works for my district, and we are a hot mess in so many ways. She was just put on a plan herself, and she has over 20 years experience. I am going to look for a weekend job immediately and am considering looking outside of education or at least our district right away. I can't take this anymore. My mental health is kinda crumbling fast, I have the DR for a phone call tomorrow and the counselor on Friday.

[rosarugosa]

I'm sorry, Zoe Girl. That really wasn't cool to put you in stress mode with only vague information and then to go on vacation for a week.

[Zoe Girl]

Thanks Rosa, this is more and more feeling like gaslighting. We never had a conversation about what I needed to check with him, it might be okay but I am awake at 4 am again!

I found a job that is exactly what I do in another district for 5K less a year. More than worth it!

[Chicken lady]

Document and copy his supervisor.

i am confused as to why this is a disciplinary action, as we have never had a conversation concerning which aspects of program need to be approved by you, nor have I been made aware of any written list. As it has previously been my responsibility to deal with time critical decisions such as this for which parameters exist - an enrollment limit we can not exceed and a time sensitive hands on decision - I would appreciate clear guidelines on when I am to make such decisions on my own and when I am to contact you.

get out. Throw the next victim a rope.

your job sounds untenable - all the responsibility, none of the authority. My Dad used to recite a little rhyme (except it didn’t rhyme because we were kids):

i don’t get to drive the train
or even ring the bell,
but let the darn thing jump the tracks
and see who gets in trouble.

[rosarugosa]

In one of my college management classes, we learned that a stressful job was one that had responsibility without authority.

[Zoe Girl]

Rosa, that is it. And thank you Chicken. I have a draft copy of a reply including the times I have made similar decisions this year and that the registration person asked me what I wanted to do, implying that it was my decision (rather than saying she would run it by the supervisors).

Going to apply right now for the other job, checking to see if I get paid out vacation time, checking on the cost of health insurance and seeing about being a sub the rest of the school year. In talking to my job coach last night she said that when my lease is up if I need a place to go I could stay with her. Most of my friends would not have space even if they were willing. It means a LOT to me right now. 57 days to moving. If I turn in my notice the first day he is back that would be about 3 weeks left in this job. Depends on the answers I get.

[Float On]

Oh good grief Zoe! He's gone over the edge. Though those giant hissing machines scare me I'd take working at starbucks over working in that system. Hotel Housekeeping....I'd even do that over working in that system plus it's good exercise! I'd sign up with a few temp agencies and see what they offer.

[iris lilies]

This stinks indeed.

In your communication with him I might leave out the bits about the “registration person” because bringing her into this mess blurs the line of authority, and your supervisor sounds as though he wants the sole authority to close registration. Let him have it. Otherwise, it is triangulation to kinda-sorta blame her or say you worked with her on this when HE wants to be the person you consult.

I think Chicken Lady’s reponse is good. Really here in a memo to him you are asking for clear guidelines. You didnt know he wanted to be consulted about closing registration, that is something new. You intend to comply with his directives, you DO need the directives, however.

[Tybee]

This stinks indeed.

In your communication with him I might leave out the bits about the “registration person” because bringing her into this mess blurs the line of authority, and your supervisor sounds as though he wants the sole authority to close registration. Let him have it. Otherwise, it is triangulation to kinda-sorta blame her or say you worked with her on this when HE wants to be the person you consult.

I think Chicken Lady’s reponse is good. Really here in a memo to him you are asking for clear guidelines. You didnt know he wanted to be consulted about closing registration, that is something new. You intend to comply with his directives, you DO need the directives, however.

I like CL's letter, too. I agree not to bring in the registration person, as that obfuscates the central issue. I think it might also give him a way to say you are "defying" him as he seems to have some major problem with authority--using it correctly, respecting those who work for him, and setting clear guidelines.

Send the letter to him and copy his supervisor, on the off chance he has screwed up in other ways and you might survive him. But I would proceed as though I do not have a job and need one, and hop over to Target for starters, and think about subbing through end of year.

Courage! You will survive all this crap, and thrive.

[sweetana3]

I would not jump ship right now. Work your plan!! and let this get you mad and efficient. Document as others have said. Don't wait until he returns. If he is online on the cruise, he can get it or get it when he gets back doesn't matter. His supervisor just might have input now.

[iris lilies]

I would not jump ship right now. Work your plan!! and let this get you mad and efficient. Document as others have said. Don't wait until he returns. If he is online on the cruise, he can get it or get it when he gets back doesn't matter. His supervisor just might have input now.
Agreed.

[Teacher Terry]

I liked CL's suggestion on the email and I would definitely respond to him now and CC his supervisor. I heard that Starbucks offers health insurance with 20 hours of work. Sending a big hug:))

[Zoe Girl]

Thank you all, i just need to get through the day. I know hiring someone can take weeks, so the starbucks job may take a minute. will ask for a list of tasks ythat need approval meanwhile. He has an almost magic ability to know when i am starting to feel good again, sigh. I just started to think through all the things i do in order to tell him more. I have been sending him what goes into our thursday folder email for the school and then forwarding the email also.

[razz]

Sorry that you are going through this. Lots of good advice.

[Zoe Girl]

Yeah for my Dr, he called in a mild anti anxiety med and i am going to get it now. I could even take it during the day or if i wake up at 11 or so. I don't recall the name.

[Reyes]

and that the registration person asked me what I wanted to do, implying that it was my decision (rather than saying she would run it by the supervisors).

You may want to consider leaving that part out. It may come across as blame shifting.