View Full Version : Extremely annoying coworker?
Okay, I am humbly asking for advice.
I have an extremely annoying coworker. I may have mentioned her on here before, but her annoyances and irritating tendencies have reached such a fever pitch that I am thinking of ways to deal with her.
Here is a sample platter of annoyances she serves up daily:
-Blows her nose and it sounds like a tuba
-She has literally farted in my cubicle
-She talks endlessly -- filibusters, really -- about archery
-Starts out many statements with "It is really funny..." but then it is not funny at all
-Her work is substandard and apparently my colleagues have to redo it (though I have not experienced this firsthand)
-She thinks she has mastered her job and that is why she is intellectually bored with her work and she says this often
-She endlessly complains about her commute to work (which is about an hour) -- the traffic, the accidents, the weather, the time changes, etc.
-Her laugh is rather Beavis & Butthead-like.
-She can't read facial expressions or non-verbal cues
-The level of her negativity is so far out into the stratosphere that even I get bothered by it
-She thinks most people really like her and enjoy her company but people cringe when she approaches them or put themselves into contortions or self-hypnosis to avoid her and/or cope with listening to her incessant and pointless chatter
-She repeats the same stories over a zillion times. We can all recite word-for-word her story about how her $60 microwave broke after only two years
Okay, you get the idea.
Ideas I suggested to my more influential colleagues:
1. Create a position for her where she must work almost entirely independently (right now she is paired with the most affable and funniest guy in the department -- he is also incredibly nice and gracious, but I see him being worn down)
2. Create a position for her that allows her to work from home for most days (usually working from home is a privilege only awarded to very conventionally attractive females, but I think it would serve us all well to give her this privilege).
3. Un-pair her from the most affable guy in the department and distribute her more equally, that way a great employee does not suffer the massive brunt of her and we all shoulder her annoyance a little bit
Two of my colleagues have suggested trying to get her fired for her incompetence. I would prefer not to do this because firing can be catching and I don't want to catch it. One colleague, before she got demoted, tried to talk to HR about getting the annoying woman fired. Apparently they were not open to this.
What can we do? Any other ideas for isolating her or dealing with her otherwise?
Thanks!
"I would love to talk to you but I am swamped right now."
"I would love to talk to you but I am swamped right now."
This has been attempted. haha
Sometimes it works but she will literally move on to the next victim.
Can you have a group meeting addressing how to improve work habits for everyone? If not, be busy. If that goes over her head be direct and discreet.
Can you have a group meeting addressing how to improve work habits for everyone? What do you mean? I don't understand. Please tell me more.
If not, be busy. If that goes over her head be direct and discreet. There are times where my back is turned to her and I am working but she keeps right on filibustering me (this happens to others too).
Our manager put on people's reviews this year to reduce personal conversations. I told the office chatterbox I could only talk with her when the boss's door is closed because I don't want to get in trouble, and this has worked as his door is only closed at lunchtime. Maybe your manager could do something similar?
iris lilies
4-7-18, 8:53pm
One important life lesson is this: you are not repsponsible for the interactions of other people amoung themselves.
so, if you deflect her with “i am busy now and cannot talk to you” and she moves on to someone ne else, it is not your responsibility to solve that problem, assuming it is a problem, for that someone else.
I cannot for the life of me think why this employee shouldn't be fired in yoir moral code IF her mistakes to rise to that level. The boss is lax both innot realizing her mistakes or ignoring them AND ALSO ignoring the time wasting, disruptive nature of her interactions with other employees.
That’s ok, screw the taxpayers of Ohio. Poor old Alan, taking it on the chin again for the team.
If she doesn't pick up on cues how would you expect your turned back to mean anything to her? You would have to turn around, be direct and tell her that you need some uninterrupted time to get your work done.
One important life lesson is this: you are not repsponsible for the interactions of other people amoung themselves.
so, if you deflect her with “i am busy now and cannot talk to you” and she moves on to someone ne else, it is not your responsibility to solve that problem, assuming it is a problem, for that someone else.
I cannot for the life of me think why this employee shouldn't be fired in yoir moral code IF her mistakes to rise to that level. The boss is lax both innot realizing her mistakes or ignoring them AND ALSO ignoring the time wasting, disruptive nature of her interactions with other employees.
That’s ok, screw the taxpayers of Ohio. Poor old Alan, taking it on the chin again for the team.
I know I am not responsible for what she does if I manage to deflect her.
But a goodly number of us will, when we see she is filibustering someone, swoop in and try to distract her from that person. We do this for each other. So I would be going against this team effort and this unspoken contract we have to try to help each other when he get buried by her chatter.
If she got fired everyone on the team would feel relieved. But that relief would also be coupled with anxiety in many people. Like: "Who is next?!?!"
At my work we have "ghost bosses." They don't interact with us much.
Also, in the 3.5 years I have been there I have had 6 direct supervisors. So it changes often.
Example: My main boss at work, who is a total ghost, once came to a staff meeting at all of our request to tell us about what he does in his role. He said, half-jokingly, "I go to meetings all day."
Then he literally read a print-out of his own job description from HR to us. He said: "I thought it would be easiest if I just read to you all my job description from HR."
To his credit, he highlighted some of the description and then later asked us if we had questions.
If she doesn't pick up on cues how would you expect your turned back to mean anything to her? You would have to turn around, be direct and tell her that you need some uninterrupted time to get your work done.
One of my colleagues (a former boss who got demoted) said: "This is a cutthroat world."
She was referring to getting her fired.
But I was thinking maybe it could be just a little cut throat and a good group of us could be direct with her and say: "I don't care about your microwave or your archery. You are annoying."
But I dunno...
iris lilies
4-7-18, 9:17pm
I know I am not responsible for what she does if I manage to deflect her.
But a goodly number of us will, when we see she is filibustering someone, swoop in and try to distract her from that person. We do this for each other. So I would be going against this team effort and this unspoken contract we have to try to help each other when he get buried by her chatter.
If she got fired everyone on the team would feel relieved. But that relief would also be coupled with anxiety in many people. Like: "Who is next?!?!"
At my work we have "ghost bosses." They don't interact with us much.
Also, in the 3.5 years I have been there I have had 6 direct supervisors. So it changes often.
Example: My main boss at work, who is a total ghost, once came to a staff meeting at all of our request to tell us about what he does in his role. He said, half-jokingly, "I go to meetings all day."
Then he literally read a print-out of his own job description from HR to us. He said: "I thought it would be easiest if I just read to you all my job description from HR."
To his credit, he highlighted some of the description and then later asked us if we had questions.
to the bolded, the next to be fired would be the person whi wastes everyones time by relating the same tale of a broken microwave over and over. Its pretty simple. Don’t meet the standards? Then you dont have a job.
if you all have been covering for her by fixing her errors and the bosses dont know, then you own this problem. dont be askin’ ME for advice then, ya’ll can get yourselves out if it.
to the bolded, the next to be fired would be the person whi wastes everyones time by relating the same tale of a broken microwave over and over. Its pretty simple. Don’t meet the standards? Then you dont have a job.
if you all have been covering for her by fixing her errors and the bosses dont know, then you own this problem. dont be askin’ ME for advice then, ya’ll can get yourselves out if it.
My colleague, who was formerly my direct supervisor, who got demoted (for "micromanaging"), told the big dogs about Ms. Annoying being incompetent. She also told HR. The big dogs and HR said: "Retrain her."
HR does not really fire people. They are well-known as just cheerleaders: "It is team spirit day! Be sure to wear your sports attire on Friday!"
iris lilies
4-7-18, 10:43pm
One of my colleagues (a former boss who got demoted) said: "This is a cutthroat world."
She was referring to getting her fired.
But I was thinking maybe it could be just a little cut throat and a good group of us could be direct with her and say: "I don't care about your microwave or your archery. You are annoying."
But I dunno...
You dont need to tell her she is annoying. You could say, though, that her BEHAVIOR is annoying to you when you have work to do. And your could also tell her you have heard her stories many times and they do not interest you.
If she is “on the spectrum” as they say, direct interactions get the most mileage..
mschrisgo2
4-8-18, 12:14am
Sounds to me like she is on the autism spectrum, in whch case she really is unable to change her behavior without a lot of direct coaching. Even then, she will never understand indirect/implied messages or body language.
So what to do?
- STOP COVERING for her!
- Speak to her in short, clear sentences, i.e. Please go away. I have work to do, Right Now.
- Several people should document how many times and for how long she distracts them from their work each day. Just record and put it away in case it is needed later.
Be Clear with her, but do Not be mean.
She did not get to choose her behavior, but you get to choose your response.
I agree with mschrigo2. I had to do this at work to a group of employees that were always standing around yacking right at my desk. Keep it business and about work.
"Please stop talking at my desk, you are keeping me from working." "I cannot talk to you right now, I am working." "Please I need quiet right now, I am working." "I am working and need to concentrate, please don't stand behind me and talk to me. I cannot do my work."
Rinse and repeat each time. Do not turn around and interact because that will lead to conversation, questions, and more wasted time. Be aware of your own interactions with other employees in front of her.
Because it is about working and getting the job done correctly or you might be the one without the job.
If you want to continue rescuing each other, call the phone of the person trapped in conversation with her. "Sorry I have to take this call."
Early in my career, I used to keep a clipboard handy for times like that. I'd suddenly look at my watch, then grab the clipboard and bound down the hallway with a "gotta go!". :)
Lots of good advice here. I "+1" mschrisgo2's advice.
My experience in matters like this is that subtle clues don't even register with people like Annoying. So do what you have to do. Get up, be polite enough say, "Excuse me", and leave -- even if it's only to the restroom or to ask a coworker a question (even if you could have handled it over the phone or instant message; the physical clue is bigger). When she appears at your desk, ask if she needs something from you and, if she does not have anything specific right then, interrupt (even if you have to talk over her) and declare that you were pretty deep in the middle of working on a task, turn around, and don't pay her any more attention. The task you have to work on might even be noting somewhere the date and time of when Annoying came over to visit you yet again. Just do anything but sit there and squirm.
And don't think that firing is a nuclear option. First of all, (again, IME) firing someone is a long proscribed process of corrections and warnings before anyone is let go. She may first get a "come to Jeebus" talk with someone who has some authority over her (don't forget, your supervisor has a supervisor, too) and may have a length of time she has to "behave" to stay there. If you're all doing your jobs despite her interference (and having to do her work over again) you have no firing to fear. If you all let her be toxic enough to kill your productivity, the whole lot of you may disappear as part of an efficiency move. Don't let that happen.
ToomuchStuff
4-8-18, 10:24am
Part of me is laughing evil style, as my brain in a dream last night said lock her in the bathroom, as there are people in the mirrors who care about her "stuff".:~)
ApatheticNoMore
4-8-18, 11:22am
If firing becomes a matter of employees ganging up on others then yes it's a nuclear option and yes it could be spreading. But it often takes years of such corruption to get fully bad. Management should be doing managing. Lunatics (non-management employees) should not be taking over the asylum. But power abhors a vacuum or something.
You can tell her to leave. It doesn't have to be because getting your work done is the most important thing to the organization. It can just be because you want to be left alone. But just make sure you don't step on the wrong toes in doing so, and do it with as much respect to her as possible (she sounds absolutely horrible, but since everyone else hates her, there would be a temptation of piling on her that I'd have to be aware of and be careful of).
"Does she not have enough to do?" I use to have an employee that I created tasks for. Sometimes I'd mix up small and large paperclips in one box and really needed them sorted by size. Old files that needed shredded. Coin roll papers that needed sorted. If you've got time to interupt, you can work on this at your station.
I just find it astonishing that state workers have all this free time to indulge in weird behavior and made up tasks.
I obviously made poor career choices; this job sounds fantastic--lots of free time, great benefits, etc. etc.
ApatheticNoMore
4-8-18, 2:09pm
I just find it astonishing that state workers have all this free time to indulge in weird behavior and made up tasks.
it's not state workers exclusively, I've had 2 different private sector jobs with insufficient work to do. I'd learn stuff for future jobs (good for me I guess) or surf the internet or read unrelated ebooks (not good for me I guess but really the best I could manage to kill the void ..) to fill the time plus a bit of joking around with coworkers that hopefully was not too annoying as they were also underemployed really. So whether it takes place more in government or not I don't know, but companies are badly run too.
I obviously made poor career choices; this job sounds fantastic--lots of free time, great benefits, etc. etc.
government work does have the nice bennies, pensions, etc.. and job security. So it can be in many ways a sweet gig (however the personal dysfunctions and politics can get even worse than the private sector and that's saying something. But that can happen when you really can't fire someone no matter what). And it is super competitive to land, it sometimes seems everyone wants to work for the government, but there are only so many slots.
So if one actually has a choice between private and public sector (and most don't as they have actual career paths in one or the other) I guess it depends on what bothers one more, if it's job and income insecurity that hurts one most, then the public sector is better, but if it's workplace dysfunction and nepotism and etc., then I don't know.
I just find it astonishing that state workers have all this free time to indulge in weird behavior and made up tasks.
It is this way lots of places. A close friend of mine works for a big bank. He says it is lots of sitting on his duff.
It is this way lots of places. A close friend of mine works for a big bank. He says it is lots of sitting on his duff.
My IT career started when a merger left me and my department largely sitting on its hands while TPTB decidedfought about which projects would continue and which would be phased out. It took only a couple of weeks of cleaning up files, surfing what little Internet there was back then, and reading the Wall Street Journal from front to back daily (corn futures!) before I found the guy who was installing those newfangled PCs all over the company and asked him for somethinganything to do. Who knows how long the company would have overlooked the idleness if I was OK with just sitting...
This idleness just doesn’t happen in healthcare. We barely have time to use the restroom.
Why can’t we have a little more staff and these other places give up a little staff?
It is this way lots of places. A close friend of mine works for a big bank. He says it is lots of sitting on his duff.
My SIL in mega commercial lending her goal for the year is 2 accounts. She always exceeds that because she hates to not look for new accounts.
ApatheticNoMore
4-9-18, 11:22am
It's not really about ok with sitting. Although it is about shutting up because you are glad to have an income (ANY INCOME). Both my "not enough to do" jobs came after I was not just unemployed before then, but unemployed while the economy was in recession.
Still though I have tried at times to change positions within a company when I felt underused, tried at least twice, asked the hiring managers for those groups etc.. It didn't happen. Rigid caste system in companies sometimes, you ARE your role and nothing more. Realistically it's about finding another job where you won't be so typecast, that is interviewing at other companies. And all that entails (ugh but yes). I got out both times but one time it took a long time. There may have been some lateral moves there I didn't see, it's very hard to see stuff when stuck in a situation (why again it's probably better to just keep trying to leave for a new situation although who knows).
Yes one of these companies with too much idle time WAS a big bank!
I used to study interviewing techniques. One was when someone comes into your space physically walk them to or through your door. They WILL follow you and, hopefully, get the message. My boss did this to me once and I reiterated that obviously he didn't want to talk to me since he walked me to the door. I think he was shocked that I realized his tactic. hehe
Ultralight
8-17-18, 6:44am
Dig this: My extremely annoying coworker got a new job and turned in her two weeks yesterday.
Her new job comes with about $18,000 in salary increase (from $47,000 to $65,000). It also means an extra week of vacation. She has 3 now but will have 4 at her new gig.
^^^ Sounds like a win-win for everyone....
iris lilies
8-17-18, 8:53am
Dig this: My extremely annoying coworker got a new job and turned in her two weeks yesterday.
Her new job comes with about $18,000 in salary increase (from $47,000 to $65,000). It also means an extra week of vacation. She has 3 now but will have 4 at her new gig.
She wont last through the probationary period, most likely.
iris lilies
8-26-18, 11:31am
Dig this: My extremely annoying coworker got a new job and turned in her two weeks yesterday.
Her new job comes with about $18,000 in salary increase (from $47,000 to $65,000). It also means an extra week of vacation. She has 3 now but will have 4 at her new gig.
Could you have gotten this job? But if it is in the private sector, that would challange your loan drone payment plan so probably not worth it.
Well this is a cause for celebration and not of the fast food kind.........lol
Ultralight
8-27-18, 5:16pm
Could you have gotten this job? But if it is in the private sector, that would challange your loan drone payment plan so probably not worth it.
No, she spent the past year learning certain databases and software. She is not as dumb as people think. Most people on our team wanted to learn these databases and software. But they asked their bosses and they were told to wait. The annoying coworker went to the boss of another department and asked to sit in on his instructional sessions every week. So this new skill set helped her to get the job.
I don't have the skill or inclination for these databases and software programs.
She sounds like a resourceful and motivated person; maybe she blathered on out of boredom. I wish her well.
ApatheticNoMore
8-28-18, 11:34am
No, she spent the past year learning certain databases and software. She is not as dumb as people think. Most people on our team wanted to learn these databases and software. But they asked their bosses and they were told to wait. The annoying coworker went to the boss of another department and asked to sit in on his instructional sessions every week. So this new skill set helped her to get the job.
impressive, still not a justification for letting everyone else down in the meantime (and that can also lead to getting fired in the meantime), but astute woman. I would have asked and waited. But those waiting people are probably bound to be failures in the long term.
Ultralight
8-28-18, 7:19pm
She sounds like a resourceful and motivated person; maybe she blathered on out of boredom. I wish her well.
Yup, I do too.
Her last day is tomorrow. She had the best desk in the best location. So it was raffled off. haha
I will probably be doing her job until they hire someone new. Then I will probably train them.
Ultralight
8-28-18, 7:22pm
impressive, still not a justification for letting everyone else down in the meantime (and that can also lead to getting fired in the meantime), but astute woman. I would have asked and waited. But those waiting people are probably bound to be failures in the long term.
The waiters are still waiting. haha
In her exit interview today she told me that she told HR they ought to give others on the team the opportunity to learn the programs she learned, and others, because we have on-staff experts -- some of which are already holding instructional sessions that have seats open.
frugalone
10-30-18, 12:22pm
Coming in quite late to this one, but once upon a time, I had a boss who used to stand next to me and fart. He was rather elderly and I've noticed among several elderly people that they tend to do that. I don't know if it's a case of "can't help it" or "don't give a damn anymore."
I'm glad this has worked out for you!
Teacher Terry
10-30-18, 12:45pm
For some older people it slips out. I knew a older woman that if she s
too up too fast she farted. It was embarrassing for her.
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