View Full Version : What about "Dexter Donuts?"
Another thrilling minimalist question!
Do "Dexter Donuts" count?
If you don't know what Dexter Donuts are, they are things you take to work and/or put in your cubicle/office to make you appear likable and/or normative.
In the show Dexter he would take donuts into the office. This way he endeared himself to others and they would not know he was a super-hero/serial killer. haha
At my office I have:
Pictures: Me fishing, me fishing with my dad, me canoeing with friends, me at various travel destinations, me with my current ladyfriend, my ladyfriend.
Magnets: flags of nations I traveled to, an Orioles magnet, a Thoreau magnet
Art: A print picture of James Thurber and his prose, a mug with Kurt Vonnegut drawings/pics/quotes
Misc: I have a few pics of well-known folks and their quotes outside my cube (Neil DeGrasse Tyson, William F. Buckley, Jr., Elon Musk, Maggie Thatcher).
Should these items count as my possessions? They never leave work. Most are 2 dimensional.
I think it's cheating for a minimalist to not count personal items not currently residing in the home. It's like not counting the items hidden away in storage.
ToomuchStuff
5-5-18, 10:15am
I think it's cheating for a minimalist to not count personal items not currently residing in the home. It's like not counting the items hidden away in storage.
+1
And your lying to yourself by calling objects such as those 2d.
Ultralight
5-5-18, 10:19am
But I don't consider my work self to really be my real self. At work I am just a pretender, a zombie, an actor.
Everything counts, if you county every thing
Teacher Terry
5-5-18, 4:03pm
My work stuff never came home with me when I retired. I gave it all away. I find it odd that you are not your real self at work. Totally different for me.
I never felt a need to decorate my cubicle with artifacts of a fake persona; I just let my freak flag fly, as they say. I doubt anyone cared.
If I had been my real self at work, I probably would have been burned at the stake :-)
iris lilies
5-5-18, 4:49pm
+1
And your lying to yourself by calling objects such as those 2d.
Well, kinda. But kinda not.
At work I used to urge my employees to decorate their cubes as much as they liked with two dimensional objects that could be pinned to walls but to keep the 3 dimensional crap off of their work surfaces. Even tho photos and paper have a very thin 3rd dimension, it is barely there.
If I had been my real self at work, I probably would have been burned at the stake :-)
Amen, brother!
I tone it way down. I know I could not pretend to be totally normative. So I act about half-normative and half-harmlessly quirky. haha
I never felt a need to decorate my cubicle with artifacts of a fake persona; I just let my freak flag fly, as they say. I doubt anyone cared.
It is different when you're a guy.
I gave it all away. I find it odd that you are not your real self at work. Totally different for me.
Why?
It is different when you're a guy.
I don't know; we had all different kinds of guys.
Unless you work in a fraternity house atmosphere, or in management or sales, once you're an adult, you can pretty much be what you want. I certainly wouldn't want to work in a "normative" atmosphere--I'm not sure I even know what that means. (Clearly, luck was on my side!)
I don't know; we had all different kinds of guys.
Unless you work in a fraternity house atmosphere, or in management or sales, once you're an adult, you can pretty much be what you want.
No, you don't get it.
If a woman is weird or quirky or an oddball or socially awkward then she might be annoying to people. That is all.
But if you are a guy and you are weird or quirky or an oddball or socially awkward then you might be considered creepy or even scary. And this can be lethal to your career. I mean lethal.
So for men it is important to appear at least halfway normative.
You're right; I don't get it. I'm glad of that.
"Weird or quirky or an oddball or socially awkward" pretty much is the default among techies up here.
No Dexter Donuts in my office because we don't have assigned desks. I suppose people could store them in lockers and bring them out every day but that would definitely turn them into countable possessions.
You're right; I don't get it. I'm glad of that.
"Weird or quirky or an oddball or socially awkward" pretty much is the default among techies up here.
I worked with techies most of my career. I was/perhaps-still-am outside the envelope of the accepted norm, if unveiled. For instance, I have too many chromosomes, and odd interests....
ToomuchStuff
5-5-18, 11:41pm
I worked with techies most of my career. I was/perhaps-still-am outside the envelope of the accepted norm, if unveiled. For instance, I have too many chromosomes, and odd interests....
Wait Bae, with your "hillbilly" upbringing, wouldn't that be too few chromosomes?
:~)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myhnAZFR1po
Wait Bae, with your "hillbilly" upbringing, wouldn't that be too few chromosomes?
No. I have an extra Y chromosome in most of my cells. And I have physical results of this that are....confusing... to binary-oriented medical practitioners. I am transhuman.
ApatheticNoMore
5-6-18, 1:31am
you don't have to be considered creepy or scary for something to be lethal to a career (ie lose a job), just not being likable is often sufficient.
you don't have to be considered creepy or scary for something to be lethal to a career (ie lose a job), just not being likable is often sufficient.
Come to think of it, a college kid I knew was fired from a construction crew because he liked to eat lunch by himself (and read), so maybe there's something to the idea.
I took a book with my lunch to my first nursing job and put those things in the break room. Another nurse loudly made fun of me to the others - “you think you’re gonna have time to READ?!?!?” Ha ha ha
I read while I ate my lunch that day. We all got a 30 minute break so I don’t know why she thought it was a problem.
But I never brought a book again. She was a ring leader and a bit of a bully at times - so I chose not to fight that battle.
you don't have to be considered creepy or scary for something to be lethal to a career (ie lose a job), just not being likable is often sufficient.
Absolutely. And that fact was a huge factor in my quitting my job. When my boss made me fire a woman who was hired to be MY project manager. She had tried very hard to do all tasks asked of her and had improved greatly, but she was introverted and socially awkward. That was her only "sin" as far as I could see.
So I quit. I hated the fact that I had to fire her basically because she didn't kiss my boss's you-know-what. I quit 30 minutes before firing her.
As for the cubical swag, I have some of those quotes and stuff (see the pic), but since no one sees them except me in my home office, it's not for the benefit of constructing a false identify--at least I don't think so.
2175
No Dexter Donuts in my office because we don't have assigned desks. I suppose people could store them in lockers and bring them out every day but that would definitely turn them into countable possessions.
Do you have a casual Friday? Also: Topics of discussion are also important Dexter Donuts.
For instance, I have too many chromosomes, and odd interests....
That'll do it!
you don't have to be considered creepy or scary for something to be lethal to a career (ie lose a job), just not being likable is often sufficient.
Yes, very true. I generally tend to be liked by about 75% of my coworkers. It is a roll of the dice though on whether or not that 75% includes the important people.
I generally avoid and/or treat very politely the 25% that do not like me.
But I will say I know that some of my bosses dislike me. And the way the bosses play musical chairs at my work (6 different bosses in 3.5 years because of various demotions and promotions) it is hard to keep dime-dancing the steps they each want. haha
I have found that I can milk several things to get my colleagues to like me:
-I cover for them and do some of their work voluntarily when they are out sick
-I employ my slightly above average sense of humor by making them laugh
-I say 2 supportive things in each meeting and otherwise stay quiet (I keep track of this on my notepad of paper)
-I avoid talking about any of my more "interesting" interests
-I bring my dog to work from time to time because he is a cutie and a real charmer.
To me they would count if you would feel something missing if you didn't have them. These things seem to mean something to you. The ol' "does it spark joy" thing.
Do you have a casual Friday? Also: Topics of discussion are also important Dexter Donuts.
We have ‘dress your day’ everyday. Basically it means that we’re still expected to dress professional if we have outside meetings but if we’re just going to be sitting in the office all day we can wear pretty much whatever.
Ahh working relationships. I have an absolutely terrible office this year, I am down to one Dr Seuss poster and piles of recycled materials and program boxes. I can also hear the music room all day every day. I often take my cell phone outside to talk. The building is simply too full this year, but cuts next year should give me a better space. So I don't personalize a lot, but the other people in the building are not officially my colleagues. My colleagues seem to like me because I help out whenever I can, especially if they are trying to learn something. I haven't had much chance to do that this year, we are in regions that spend little time outside of our groups.
I earned a lot of goodwill at one job in college by not liking football. I always offered to work the rec center job when there was a football or other game. It was super slow and so I could study a lot. My co workers loved not battling to get the day off also.
I don't tend to get along with people above me, at least the first year I work with them. After awhile they learn I really know my stuff and can make their lives easier. In general I work really hard at it but it is a challenge. I always want to be part of a solution but about half the time it goes over badly and I am seen as having a pushy attitude. This year is the first time I have very much felt that if I said the same things with the same tone as a male I would be better off but it is not the greatest as a female.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2025 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.