DD asking us to get vaccinations

[pinkytoe]

I figured this topic would come up with DD and her soon to be born twins as docs are now advising shots for those in close contact. She calmly stated that we need to get TDaP (Tetanus, diphtheria, whooping cough) vaccinations or we can't see the babies. I am not trying to be alarmist just yet and will probably comply but my personal philosophy is that we are all over-medicalized. I also think the pharmaceutical industry has a very heavy hand in all of this - imagine the profits!! it will be $150 for both of us to get the shots as they are not covered under my insurance. Yes, whooping cough is a terrible thing but ... what to do?? Additionally, DH and I recently had physicals and both came out clean - no high blood pressure, blood sugar - the only recommendation was that we get all these various shots (shingles, TDap, flu).

[catherine]

Honestly, I'm not an apologist for Big Pharma (or maybe I am, although I am a sincere critic of the industry as well), but I am for vaccines. I don't think they're a big deal and they prevent disease. They simply do. People forget about all the diseases that were rampant prior to immunizations, but those diseases maimed and killed.

Do pharmaceutical companies make a profit on them? Of course they do. I am currently working on a vaccine--as we speak I'm writing a report for a Pharma company. I won't say which one for confidentiality purposes, but this particular vaccine absolutely prevents this particular illness by almost 100%. There is no downside of getting it except for a sore arm for a couple of days. If you wind up getting this condition, you pay for treatment and risk long-term debilitation.

I am medication averse for the most part--but I believe in reasonable precautions, and try to intelligently discern what will do me ill and what will help me, regardless of my emotions surrounding the for-profit pharmaceutical industry.

If it were important to my daughter that I get a vaccine, I would get it.

[iris lilies]

You can have whatever ideas you like about vaccines, big pharma, and society. But when it comes to the specific situation of your only grandchildren, how is it going to hurt that you get these shots? What to do, you ask?

Really? You never ever go against your philosophy for a practical reason?

[herbgeek]

I get a TDAP shot every 10 years anyways- I often go barefoot outside and risk stepping on something contaminated (ie I need the tetanus anyways)

[SteveinMN]

Given the track record of these vaccinations, I would do it. This is not a hill on which I would die in battle.

Are the vaccinations guarding against an edge case? Except for tetanus, probably. Will they cost more than they should, given the benefit to "the herd" of having them? Yes. But the downside is low and there are more than enough non-thinking people exposing everyone else to diseases that were just about eradicated years ago by not immunizing themselves or their children. Save the dudgeon for statins. ;)

[pinkytoe]

I will do it for DD to honor her wishes. Otherwise, nope.

[Float On]

Is this her first babies?
I wasn't an overly anxious mom. I let the babies play in dirt, heck they probably ate it. I had a friend who was very much a germ aphobe and always had anti-bac in hand and she sure spent a lot more time in the Dr office with sick babies than I ever did. That being said. I'm pro vaccine and was just thinking the other day that I should probably have another tetnus shot and see what else may need updated. Even with insurance sometimes the health department offers lower cost shots than going through our Dr's office. I also get blood draws there because it's less expensive than the diagnostic clinic where the Dr sends people. I did call the health department about the shingles vac and was told if I was over 60 they had a grant for free shots but it would cost me quite a bit because I'm only 51.

[Teacher Terry]

Babies get vaccinated so they are safe. I can't imagine telling my parents to get vaccines when my kids were babies. Wow that is way over the top. I probably would not do it.

[pinkytoe]

These are her first and the pregnancy is high risk so the babies health might be compromised from the gitgo if they come early. The thing that irks me is that all of these various vaccines being promoted use fear as a motivator in their ads. The one my daughter is asking me to get has a tv ad showing grandma as a big bad wolf because she hasn't had the shot. I find that insulting. This topic is apparently causing a lot of family strife when grandparents are denied visiting rights.

[freshstart]

For all the reasons others have stated, I would definitely would do it. My mom is in the end stages of a disease, she is allergic to the flu shot. We all get the shot to try to protect her by not bringing the flu into the house. During flu season we ask her caregivers and frequent visitors if they've been vaccinated and if not, we ask that they wear a mask. She did not like us doing this at first but I told her it was standard practice for any of the workers to wear the mask if they refused the vaccine so we weren't asking they to do anything they weren't already supposed to be doing and as for friends, well, a good friend would understand. And they did. So far no flu. And no friendships lost.

[bae]

I'd get the vaccinations, and not go down the tin-foil-hat "big pharma" trail.

I have to demonstrate immunity through blood titers several times a year to even go to work. Vaccinations on the whole work, and save lives at very little cost.

[razz]

I avoid vaccines etc in general but always comply to make others feel safe. It is my gift to them. That is the approach I would take with my grandchildren. It will give peace of mind which is much more important than the latest toy or fancy outfit that one might choose to give.

[sweetana3]

https://www.cdc.gov/pertussis/downloads/pertuss-surv-report-2016.pdf

Deaths and serious illness are not unknown. Your DD is being cautious.

[Teacher Terry]

PT: I have seen that commercial you are talking about and it is ridiculous. It just feels like emotional blackmail to me. I could understand if she had asked you to check into and see what you thought. But to hold something precious as a ultimatum does not seem right. None of my friends that have grandkids have ever experienced this. It will be interesting if I ever get put in this position as my 2 oldest have decided not to have kids and the third has no partner at this time. I do have 2 step-sons that would like kids in the future so we will see. My Dad has really bad emphysema for years and none of us ever got the flu shot. Despite us living next door and seeing him daily, my mom watching my kids when sick, etc he never so much as got a cold. I believe in vaccinations for kids but as a society we are over doing it to the max. They can screw up people's immune systems and over vaccinating is not wise. I also read that we are over vaccinating our pets which is causing cancer and other ailments. For instance if a puppy get their shots most are immune to rabies for life. Yet vets want to do it every 1-3 years. The only difference between the 1 or 3 year vaccine is the label they put on it. We give a 3lb dog the same amount of vaccine that you give a 200lb dog. For both people and pets it is a huge $ maker. I am not saying that you should not do it as you have a lot at stake but I would not be happy to be put in that position.

[flowerseverywhere]

Babies get vaccinated so they are safe. I can't imagine telling my parents to get vaccines when my kids were babies. Wow that is way over the top. I probably would not do it.

not necessarily correct. They may have part of the vaccine but not all of the schedule, there may be a reason to delay. Non issue to me. I got mine Before my DIL asked when her sister the pediatrician recommended it.

Of all all the things that cause rifts in families this seems a very trivial request. How could you ever risk it?

[Teacher Terry]

I don't see it as trivial because vaccines can and do cause health problems.

[bae]

I don't see it as trivial because vaccines can and do cause health problems.

Lack of vaccinations also can and do cause health problems.

Show the data on each.

Then, given that data, how would you arrive at a decision?

[Teacher Terry]

I have been vaccinated as a child and that is sufficient for me. Everyone can make their own decision about their own bodies.

[bae]

I have been vaccinated as a child and that is sufficient for me. Everyone can make their own decision about their own bodies.

A problem is that by not vaccinating, you are also making decisions about other peoples' bodies. People who are too young to be vaccinated, or too immuno-compromised, or ... I think it is quite reasonable for people responsible for the care of that sort of population to refuse interactions with those who choose not to vaccinate.

I have repeatedly shut down a pre-school I help run here because of anti-vaxxers who, during whooping cough outbreaks, did not follow the regulations.

[Teacher Terry]

I am not against vaccines. I was vaccinated as were my kids. That is sufficient.

[razz]

I am amazed that anyone in this day and age is trying to tell a daughter that she is not the mistress in her own home with the care of her own children. It is highly likely that this was discussed with her DH and he is in agreement.

At what point do you self-centred mothers give up dominance over your children's choices and decisions when they have set up their own homes with their own children? Just shaking my head in disbelief.

No one is saying "no visiting ever, period". PT's daughter is simply saying "These are my house rules - vaccines necessary for those in close contact with my children upon the advice of healthcare providers." She has every right to do so. Respect that right! You don't have to visit her or the children if you are so opposed to having the vaccines. That is your right!

[Teacher Terry]

Razz, I am not saying she does not have a right to decide what is right for her babies. I think she should have asked and not demanded. I don't interfere in my kids lives and they make their own decisions. Fortunately, none of my friends that are grandmother's have been faced with getting over-vaccinated by this ridiculous request.

[pinkytoe]

As stated, I will honor DD's request. I think the fear is whooping cough which I get. Wish I could just get that without the whole shebang. Do people in first world countries even get diphtheria?

[catherine]

Razz, I am not saying she does not have a right to decide what is right for her babies. I think she should have asked and not demanded. I don't interfere in my kids lives and they make their own decisions. Fortunately, none of my friends that are grandmother's have been faced with getting over-vaccinated by this ridiculous request.

I think any mother has the right to set boundaries that are important to her. If you are going to dig in your heels and say, "F you, I'm not doing it," then you pay the price by staying home when it comes time for DGS/DGD birthdays, christenings and other family occasions. Up to you.

"Asking" is not the way to set a boundary. A boundary is a boundary. Personally, I am never that strict about anything: germs, vaccines, whatever. But my own DIL has set boundaries with her kids and I totally respect that.

[pinkytoe]

When DD was around 4, she received the last course of this shot (at the time) and became seriously ill and was diagnosed with Guillian-Barre. Her leg paralysis went away over time. Ever since then, I have been fearful of getting vaccines.

[catherine]

As stated, I will honor DD's request. I think the fear is whooping cough which I get. Wish I could just get that without the whole shebang. Do people in first world countries even get diphtheria?

Nope, thanks to immunizations.

The number of cases has changed over the course of the last 2 decades, specifically throughout developing countries. Better standards of living, mass immunization, improved diagnosis, prompt treatment, and more effective health care have led to the decrease in cases worldwide. However, although outbreaks are rare, they still occur worldwide, especially in developed nations such as Germany among unvaccinated children,[/I] and Canada.[25][/I] -- Wikipedia

[Teacher Terry]

PT: I think you can have one vaccine but not the combo if you want. My friend's daughter doesn't want her kids to have the combo vaccines so gets them spread out over time. I never did that when my kids were getting vaccines but she read there were less side effects. Is whooping cough something we didn't get when we were kids? We always respected both sides of our wonderful families and did not set up boundaries. We had thoughtful discussions about things if they were important. I don't do well with ultimatums and think they aren't needed unless you have people that are bossy and overbearing. Thankfully that never described my parents or in-laws.

[catherine]

PT: I think you can have one vaccine but not the combo if you want. My friend's daughter doesn't want her kids to have the combo vaccines so gets them spread out over time. I never did that when my kids were getting vaccines but she read there were less side effects. Is whooping cough something we didn't get when we were kids? We always respected both sides of our wonderful families and did not set up boundaries. We had thoughtful discussions about things if they were important. I don't do well with ultimatums and think they aren't needed unless you have people that are bossy and overbearing. Thankfully that never described my parents or in-laws.

I'm curious.. TT, I really respect you and this is just a difference of opinion, but what would happen if you had a alcoholic in-law who was prone to showing up at your home when your children were small having had too much to drink? If you told them that you did not want them around your children unless they were sober, is that an ultimatum or a boundary? I say it's a boundary.

You may see an alcoholic in-law as different from an unvaccinated one, but it's the same principle.

[Teacher Terry]

If you are going to dig in your heels and say, "F you, I'm not doing it," then you pay the price by staying home when it comes time for DGS/DGD birthdays, christenings and other family occasions. Up to you.

Everyone is assuming I am against vaccines and I am NOT! I am against over-vaccinating and things go wrong like PT just gave an example. This whole thing might have gone better if her daughter had decided to have a thoughtful conversation with her instead of making a demand. It is not a good communication style.

[Teacher Terry]

Catherine, then you have a unhealthy family member that can't self-regulate and you need to protect your family. I think this whole thing was handled poorly by PT's daughter. In a discussion it would become evident that people our age did not get whooping cough so that would be reasonable and I would do that one only. As I said before it is possible to separate them. I would not get re-vaccinated for something I had as that would be unreasonable. You can get a titer test to make sure you are still immune.

[flowerseverywhere]

If you are going to dig in your heels and say, "F you, I'm not doing it," then you pay the price by staying home when it comes time for DGS/DGD birthdays, christenings and other family occasions. Up to you.

Everyone is assuming I am against vaccines and I am NOT! I am against over-vaccinating and things go wrong like PT just gave an example. This whole thing might have gone better if her daughter had decided to have a thoughtful conversation with her instead of making a demand. It is not a good communication style.

well it’s too bad she didn’t have a thoughtful conversation but she is the kids mother and can make the rules. I don’t like small kids around dogs, why take the risk and people go nuts around that one. No smoking in my house. No drinking and driving, even one. Too bad. Who will be the loser if you fight a married child or their spouses wishes? You.

[catherine]

Catherine, then you have a unhealthy family member that can't self-regulate and you need to protect your family. I think this whole thing was handled poorly by PT's daughter. In a discussion it would become evident that people our age did not get whooping cough so that would be reasonable and I would do that one only. As I said before it is possible to separate them. I would not get re-vaccinated for something I had as that would be unreasonable. You can get a titer test to make sure you are still immune.

I think reasonable discourse is always the best way, but my point is, the mother and father make the rules. And if that were a rule, and it's a relatively small price to pay, I'd abide by it. To you, it's not a small price to pay, so that's your right to not honor it. It's kind of like "no shoes in the house." Some people may think that's ridiculous. But if they want to enter the house, they have to take off their shoes. It's not their house. The vaccine thing may not be negotiable.

[Tybee]

A hospital job would accept titers, so I would go to my doctor and first have my blood tested for titers--when I did a semester of nursing school, I found I had already had many of the diseases like measles, German measles, etc. so no need to be vaccinated.

You have to have tetanus anyway, so no problem with that one. If you don't have immunity to the DAP part of the shot, I would go ahead and talk to my doctor and see if she advised it was okay for me, in my particular health status. If so, I would go ahead and do it and take her the documentation, no discussion, just "here you go."

I totally get how you feel, I really do. We've had a couple of moments like that. I have found that as time goes by, with two children, my kids have become much more comfortable with having us visit, and I have grown in confidence. It is a learning process on both sides. I am sorry she hurt your feelings, mine would have been hurt too.

If you go get whatever vaccinations you need then you're done, no need to make it more of an issue than it feels like. Time will heal it, as will her need for her mom with having twins.

I had twins, I know whereof I speak!!

[Teacher Terry]

Flowers, that is the problem this is not a war. You don't need a winner or loser if you communicate well. I see not smoking as reasonable since it impacts your health too. The dog thing no and the drinking thing I would only intervene if they had too much to drink and then I would call a uber for them or give them a ride home. I hope never to be in a situation where I am fighting an adult child or their spouse. If I am then maybe the relationship is not as healthy as it should be and I would need to decide if I wanted it to continue. Now probably PT's daughter is just stressed out and over reacted due to the pregnancy being high risk. however, PT has legitimate concerns after what happened to her own child.

[KayLR]

Actually we did have an outbreak of whooping cough in the last year here in our area. Kids and adults. There was a total of 169 cases reported statewide through week 18, compared to 134 casesreported in 2017 during the same time period, according to our dept. of health.

[Teacher Terry]

I looked it up and that is because whooping cough was not a part of our vaccines until many years later so many people are not immunized. I see that as wise to get that taken care of for a new baby.

[catherine]

The point is, don't take it personally, and respect the parents' wishes. My DDIL has asked me not to wear shoes in the house, to wash and sanitize my hands right before touching my DGSs, to NEVER EVER post a picture of them on FB.

I don't take it personally. I just do it. Or don't do it, whatever the case may be. :)

[Teacher Terry]

Plus if you get vaccinated for what you never had as a kid and a titer test that you are still immune then yes it is unreasonable to get re-vaccinated and I would not do it.

[Teacher Terry]

Catherine, it sounds like she asked you and didn't demand it. Those don't seem like unreasonable requests to me. The washing/sanitizing hands every time might be over the top but it is a small thing:))

[catherine]

Catherine, it sounds like she asked you and didn't demand it. Those don't seem like unreasonable requests to me. The washing/sanitizing hands every time might be over the top but it is a small thing:))

No. She's definitely a demander. And if she doesn't catch a transgression, my son will back her up. Whichever way, you're towing the line, or you're outta there. Again, I don't take it personally.

I admire that about her. Although I think she'll soften a little as time goes on (she has two kids now, which tends to wear you down on absolutes).

[Teacher Terry]

Wow I would not be good with that. My brother married a very demanding woman when I was 15 and everyone bent over backwards trying to be nice, let her be the boss, etc. She would lie about what you said to her if you were in a room alone with her, etc. My sister was older and got fed up too. Finally at 30 I had enough and was done with them. Then they quit coming much to see my parents. After my Dad died they divorced and he had a lot of guilt over how he treated my parents. My dad was dead but he tried to make it up to my Mom. When he got a serious girlfriend my easy going mom said she learned a big lesson and was never going to be a door mat again in the interest of family harmony. It turned out that the next wife was not crazy like the first. my brother realized his mistake and told his new wife that if she could not get along with my mom they would not be getting married. Things worked out fine. I have a daughter in law that i love very much and we get alone great. We can be honest with each other and kind. I do take things personally and I would not allow myself to be bossed around in order to see my grandchildren. One of our step-sons is also married and we get alone with his spouse too. It sounds like you have an approach that works for you which is good. Between us we have 5 boys so will be interesting to see what happens if the rest get married.

[Chicken lady]

I will completely allow myself to be bossed around in order to see my grandchildren. If I ever get any grandchildren. I will share my thoughts and then I will do as I am told. Because they are not my children. Heck, I already made changes in my life to accommodate dogs - because my dil loves her dogs and I love her and I want her to be happy when she comes here!

I once told my father - who weighs over 200lbs that if I ever found out he had a beer and drove my kids again it would be the last time they were left with him. I realize that one beer with pizza has absolutely no effect on him, but I did not want my kids to see someone they look up to drinking and driving. He said “ok. If I drink, your mom will drive.”

[iris lilies]

Razz, I am not saying she does not have a right to decide what is right for her babies. I think she should have asked and not demanded. I don't interfere in my kids lives and they make their own decisions. Fortunately, none of my friends that are grandmother's have been faced with getting over-vaccinated by this ridiculous request.
Asked, not demanded? Umm, so,if she asked and the other person said “ No I dont wanna do that” then what? She is simply stating boundaries.

I agree with razz, this young mother is in charge of the health of her possibly fragile babies. She gets to set the rules. No one gets automatic access to grandchildeen regardless of any danger they may present.

sounds like you “know better. “ Good luck with that philosophy in dealing with a daughter in law and her children. Here’s hoping ypu dont have to run i to that. She is not hurting the children, she is only potentially hurting granny, and really who cares about that situation. No one.

[iris lilies]

Wow I would not be good with that. My brother married a very demanding woman when I was 15 and everyone bent over backwards trying to be nice, let her be the boss, etc. She would lie about what you said to her if you were in a room alone with her, etc. My sister was older and got fed up too. Finally at 30 I had enough and was done with them. Then they quit coming much to see my parents. After my Dad died they divorced and he had a lot of guilt over how he treated my parents. My dad was dead but he tried to make it up to my Mom. When he got a serious girlfriend my easy going mom said she learned a big lesson and was never going to be a door mat again in the interest of family harmony. It turned out that the next wife was not crazy like the first. my brother realized his mistake and told his new wife that if she could not get along with my mom they would not be getting married. Things worked out fine. I have a daughter in law that i love very much and we get alone great. We can be honest with each other and kind. I do take things personally and I would not allow myself to be bossed around in order to see my grandchildren. One of our step-sons is also married and we get alone with his spouse too. It sounds like you have an approach that works for you which is good. Between us we have 5 boys so will be interesting to see what happens if the rest get married.
none of this has anything to do with a young mother who sets boundaries, perhaps overzealous boundaries but perhaps not, to protect her children.

[Tammy]

Disclaimer - I didn’t read the whole thread.

This is a good vaccine - whooping cough is making a comeback. It kills babies. Adults need boosters. She might even be acting on the advice of her doctor in asking you to get it.

[iris lilies]

Disclaimer - I didn’t read the whole thread.

This is a good vaccine - whooping cough is making a comeback. It kills babies. Adults need boosters. She might even be acting on the advice of her doctor in asking you to get it.
What a concept, following the advice of her doctor. Who treats high risk pregnancies. Who delivers fragile babies.

How could he POSSiBLY know more than this crowd?

I am out of this discussion.

[pinkytoe]

I might see the twins once before they are six months old simply because we are so far away. I am wondering about all the other people DD and babies will come in contact with in their first few months - Surely not everyone out there will have had the shots. Where does a new mom draw the line? Should she not go out in public for three months just to be safe? I recall a co-worker who had a baby and I found it odd that she would not allow us to touch the baby without gloves who by that time was four months old. Things have changed for sure.

[Chicken lady]

My three children had chicken pox one at a time 19 years ago. The were first exposed shortly after Halloween. I did not take them away from the house until the last one was scabbed over shortly before Christmas to avoid exposing a possibly pregnant and non-immune or immunocompromised person to the chicken pox. It was not fun. But balancing high risk of being very inconvenienced for a couple of months against a low risk of accidentally killing someone was easy. The first was acceptable. The second, no matter how unlikely, was not.

i absolutely would have gone with the not going out in public for three months thing if I thought it was in the best interest of my child.

edit to add - when heartgrandson was almost three, his mom left him with me one day, and when she came back, we showed off the trick he had learned of walking up the seesaw and tipping it and walking down while holding my hand. I saw the look on her face and asked him “do you ever do that without a grown up holding your hand?” And he said “NO!” And then I told her “but if it worries you, I won’t ever do it again.”

she said “no. I need you to do things like that with him. But I need you to do them when i’m not looking.”

[razz]

The last I heard about access to fragile newborns is that it is recommended that the parents wait 6 months before the babies are in public contact.

I might see the twins once before they are six months old simply because we are so far away. I am wondering about all the other people DD and babies will come in contact with in their first few months - Surely not everyone out there will have had the shots. Where does a new mom draw the line? Should she not go out in public for three months just to be safe? I recall a co-worker who had a baby and I found it odd that she would not allow us to touch the baby without gloves who by that time was four months old. Things have changed for sure.

[Teacher Terry]

In healthy families both parents and children show love and respect for one another and communicate about important items. Imagine if they had talked about it and PT sees how concerned her daughter is. Then PT researches and says I will do the whooping cough because I haven't had it and will do a titer to see if I am immune to the others. Anything I am not immune to I will re-do. This would be a win-win for everyone instead of conflict. A compromise that is agreeable to all parties can frequently be reached. Since my parents were competent people I did not dictate what they would do or not do with my kids. Of course no one loves those kids more then parents and grandparents and we would talk about various things pertaining to the kids and put our heads together so to speak. My in-laws were also competent people that I respected. Yes parents have the final say but this can be done with showing your parents respect. We respected both sets of parents opinion even if in the end we decided something different.

IL: my story had everything to do with how people treat you. You teach people how to treat you and if you allow bad/bullying behavior that does not show respect then you are part of the problem.

[Zoe Girl]

Disclaimer - I didn’t read the whole thread.

This is a good vaccine - whooping cough is making a comeback. It kills babies. Adults need boosters. She might even be acting on the advice of her doctor in asking you to get it.

My oldest was not able to get the whooping cough vaccine, she had a serious reaction to the first shot at 2 months. It was scary. We lived in Boulder and homeschooled until she was 7, and due to the large number of unvaccinated children (1997) we had an outbreak of it. Now she is an adult and if she was in a college dorm and people chose to not vaccinate she would be at risk again. So I have a personal interest, and I also researched vaccines and didn't just do them without thought.

And I know it is hard, but I recall the feeling when I was a new mom and everyone wanted to make decisions for my children. I know it is not unique but it was painful. Just a few years ago my mom stopped bringing ham to my house and saying that she had to so my kids weren't deprived, sigh. When she or other people respected my judgement it meant a lot. So (I haven't kept up on the whole thread) I wonder if you can think about it as a way to support and respect your daughter. We all appear or try to appear confident, however parenting is really a nerve wracking process.

[catherine]

IL: my story had everything to do with how people treat you. You teach people how to treat you and if you allow bad/bullying behavior that does not show respect then you are part of the problem.

I simply don't see pinkytoe's DIL, nor my DIL, as bullies. And my DIL does not act the way in which your SIL acted. I think we just are seeing the behavior differently. I'm not bullying my husband by saying "Under no circumstances are you smoking in the house." To me it's not open for discussion. But that doesn't mean I'm a bully. He can come back to me and say, "How about if I smoke just in my office? I'd really be uncomfortable stepping outside on a really cold day." I might give it about 10 seconds consideration, but frankly I'm still going to say no.

[flowerseverywhere]

I live in a large retirement community. I know many sad and lonely people who have are estranged from family members including children and grandchildren. If they disclose their story it is often about a parent judging their adult child for lifestyle choices and giving their opinion. If you want to risk it, go ahead. I am not willing to. I love my sweet young grandchildren with all my heart and for the minor sacrifices I have to make to adhere with their parents rules (they are very strict about food for instance, so no cake making with them, very restricted TV and electronic devices, and we were vaccinated) I would do it in one second without hesitation. Nothing is more sad than reaching the last chapter of your life without loving relationships.

[Teacher Terry]

Flowers: I have a great relationship with my kids and step-sons. I doubt you are even reading my posts because I don't tell any of them what to do. We all communicate and don't give one another ultimatums. You can have a win-win as I pointed out before. I was lucky enough to be raised in a healthy family and of course my therapy degree has additionally helped me in this area. For my friends with grandkids they are not used as leverage to control parent's but the kids are glad when their parents babysit for them.

[Alan]

For my friends with grandkids they are not used as leverage to control parent's but the kids are glad when their parents babysit for them.I don't think the OP's situation has anything to do with controlling the parent, they had simply established boundaries in what they believe to be the best interests of their children. I can respect that and can't imagine why anyone else wouldn't.

[flowerseverywhere]

Flowers: I have a great relationship with my kids and step-sons. I doubt you are even reading my posts because I don't tell any of them what to do. We all communicate and don't give one another ultimatums. You can have a win-win as I pointed out before. I was lucky enough to be raised in a healthy family and of course my therapy degree has additionally helped me in this area. For my friends with grandkids they are not used as leverage to control parent's but the kids are glad when their parents babysit for them.
none of my posts are about you. They are aboutmeand what I have experienced.

[Suzanne]

This is what I’m getting.

Daughter has a high risk pregnancy.
Babies are likely immune-compromised.
Daughter says that, to protect these fragile about-to-be-born, all visitors should have the TDaO.

Grandma goes ballistic! She’s healthy! Daughter should have asked her and had a whole discussion before deciding to protect these highly vulnerable babies that daughter is carrying , by expecting that people who’ll want to cuddle and kiss her babies to have had a simple cheap highly-efficacious vaccine! The ads are insulting!

For Pete’s sake, grandma! This is not about you. It’s about your grandchildren.

[pinkytoe]

As I have said, I fully intend to get the shots if we visit anytime soon. I dealt with an overbearing mother-in-law when I had DD (enough so that we moved to another city) so I get that it is her show and not mine.

[frugal-one]

Lack of vaccinations also can and do cause health problems.

Show the data on each.

Then, given that data, how would you arrive at a decision?

Here is one site:
https://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2011/09/27/vaccines-are-dangerous-says-the-government.aspx

[frugal-one]

I'd get the vaccinations, and not go down the tin-foil-hat "big pharma" trail.

I have to demonstrate immunity through blood titers several times a year to even go to work. Vaccinations on the whole work, and save lives at very little cost.

Interesting about the blood titers to demonstrate immunity. Where do you get this? Is this available to "regular" people?

[bae]

Interesting about the blood titers to demonstrate immunity. Where do you get this? Is this available to "regular" people?

They just suck out our blood at the station, and send off the vials to the standard lab with the right boxes checked on the form. It’s the same commercial lab my regular doc uses, so I’m guessing anyone can order the tests.

[iris lilies]

They just suck out our blood at the station, and send off the vials to the standard lab with the right boxes checked on the form. It’s the same commercial lab my regular doc uses, so I’m guessing anyone can order the tests.
We can get titers drawn on our dogs as well.

[frugal-one]

We can get titers drawn on our dogs as well.

Yes, these tests are common for dogs but did not know this could be done for humans also.

[jp1]

After I did the hep B series of vaccinations my doctor had one done to see if they had worked.

[razz]

This was a good thread for making discoveries about vaccines and titering. Chuckling as the autocorrect keeps wanting to change titering to tittering. I am assuming that I am using it correctly.

[Reyes]

I'd get the shots. Time with grandkids is way worth it:-)