View Full Version : Photos and privacy
Gardenarian
5-31-18, 2:25am
Dh posted a bunch of photos of me and a lot of them were unflattering or just something I didn't want to share. I told him to ask my permission before posting photos of me, and he said he thought that was crazy - that he's posting about his life, and I'm part of it.
He'll let anyone belong to his Facebook & Instagram feeds.
He eventually agreed to ask me first.
Am I being over sensitive about this? I feel I should have control over my own image.
No you are not being oversensitive. When I was on Facebook my son wouldn't let me post pictures of him (teenage self-consciousness). My last boyfriend when I was on wouldn't either (found out he was a cheater and didn't want other women running across the pictures, though that is not the reason he gave me). If your marriage is a traditional monogamous one maybe make sure your husband knows your reasons and that they are not nefarious.
I did not put my photo on my FB profile but do have it on LinkedIn and hope I never get hit by an identity thief.
Wow, I would be really upset. You are not being oversensitive. I'd tell him he does not have my permission to post any photo of me, ever.
I think your request reasonable. I prefer to not have my photos on FB. I'm not one it and either is my spouse. Sometimes my (adult) kids will post on their site, and if I hear about it I ask them to delete the one with me in it. Gives me a (I am sure false) sense of privacy:-)
Most people ask me first but pictures are everywhere - Instagram twitter etc - I think Pandora’s box was opened years ago.
I can understand his wanting to share his life a little more "out loud" than you care to. I can understand DH making an effort to change your mind about publishing those pictures. I think if the pictures are of both of you or with family/friends and in public places there's a little less standing to bar publishing the pictures.
But, simply out of respect for you, if you don't want those pictures published, he should not publish them.
rosarugosa
5-31-18, 9:36am
I guess I'm the outlier here, because I would find your request a little strange. That being said, you certainly have the right to make the request and having done so, he should honor it (which it sounds like he has).
I don't blame you; you have a right to your privacy.
Simplemind
5-31-18, 10:23am
My son made the same request of me when he was in HS. I too felt at first that I was sharing the family but my relationship with him was more important. Since that first request there have been a couple of significant things occur and I have wanted to post. I always ask him first and if the answer is no...…. no means no.
Teacher Terry
5-31-18, 10:40am
Your husband should definitely ask first.
Personally I think it was reasonable of him to assume that it would be fine, but that it was also reasonable for you to say that it wasn't fine and ask him to take them down and not post more again.
Perhaps your husband could manage to take a photo of you like I did of SO at a party a while back. The people were too spread out so I used a panorama photo app that takes multiple pictures and automatically stitches them together. Apparently SO moved at just the perfect moment so I ended up with a picture that included his body but not his head. I posted it anyway and about 20 minutes later he happened to look at it and shouted "where's my head???" Another friend then took the picture, added the "drunk face" emoji where SO's head should have been and exclaimed "Fixed it!"
I'm pretty quick to remove tags of my name to my photo in any random photos from events I attend. The whole family knows to get my OK before they post a photo of me. I don't want any unflattering photos floating around.
Float On, you can actually set facebook so that all tags of you have to be reviewed and approved. The photo will still appear on your friend's timeline but without you tagged until (if) you say it's ok.
Float On, you can actually set facebook so that all tags of you have to be reviewed and approved. The photo will still appear on your friend's timeline but without you tagged until (if) you say it's ok.
Thanks. I'll check my settings.
ToomuchStuff
6-1-18, 1:40am
Float On, you can actually set facebook so that all tags of you have to be reviewed and approved. The photo will still appear on your friend's timeline but without you tagged until (if) you say it's ok.
But that doesn't work for those without facebook accounts.
I have a relative, that thinks it is perfectly OK, to post any photo's from family events, that contain the image of a person who has done undercover work. They think it doesn't matter to their security, or the rest of the family (and this person once had a reward for their head).
I read some case being discussed in Europe a couple years back, where they were working on rules that would prevent to the point of liability, a parents "right" to post images of their kids, as it could come back to hurt the kids in some way. While it would suck to have to sue your family, there may be no way of getting the point across, until that person is shot at.
Stupid.
I don't think you're overly sensitive at all. I believe wholeheartedly in the right of privacy of others, which is breached as soon as you tag someone. I recently told my brother that if he tags another picture of me on FB, I'm deleting him from my friend list--mainly because when he's drunk he'll post an old family picture along with a picture of him at dive bar drunk and surrounded by half-naked women.
If you have an agreement with another person and they don't care, that's fine, but I never tag either pictures or names of my friends in posts.
But that doesn't work for those without facebook accounts.
I have a relative, that thinks it is perfectly OK, to post any photo's from family events, that contain the image of a person who has done undercover work. They think it doesn't matter to their security, or the rest of the family (and this person once had a reward for their head).
I read some case being discussed in Europe a couple years back, where they were working on rules that would prevent to the point of liability, a parents "right" to post images of their kids, as it could come back to hurt the kids in some way. While it would suck to have to sue your family, there may be no way of getting the point across, until that person is shot at.
Stupid.
Different scenario. Obviously anyone doing ‘spy’ work as the moron in chief would call it needs to be clear at any gathering of friends and/or family that no one should take his/her picture. Period. End of story. Anyone who wont respect that request should be punched really hard or at least avoided 100% of the time. The rest of us can pick some middle ground between no pics ever and any pics all the time with individual tagging.
Gardenarian
6-4-18, 3:41am
Thanks for the feedback!
Sad Eyed Lady
6-4-18, 10:03am
I feel this way completely. I hate having my picture taken, and when someone posts pictures on facebook that I am in I cringe, and have actually said to others that anyone should have permission before they can post another person's picture on facebook or other social media. I totally agree with OP.
I read some case being discussed in Europe a couple years back, where they were working on rules that would prevent to the point of liability, a parents "right" to post images of their kids, as it could come back to hurt the kids in some way. While it would suck to have to sue your family, there may be no way of getting the point across, until that person is shot at.
Stupid.
My DIL, a cybersecurity expert and a privacy nut, is absolutely rabid when it comes to photos of her kids. Her Brazilian mom had a priest come to her new home to bless it, and the grandson happened to be there, and when the poor priest innocently took a candid photo of the family, DIL accosted him. If I ever posted a picture of my grandkids, like the millions of posts my friends do of theirs, she would disown me. I used to think she was over the top, but I think she's merely protecting the innocent, and I can't blame her for that.
funkynassau
6-9-18, 12:33pm
Whatever is posted online, anywhere, is there forever, so your husband needs to think long and hard about what he posts. I'd be angry if my husband did that and didnt ask me.
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