View Full Version : White men
When I was leaving Florida and getting processed through the Orlando airport with my lady friend (who is black) something interesting happened.
When we got though the checkpoints and security and metal detectors and such and we were at the very last step, the TSA officer (a black male in his late 30s) checked our boarding passes and IDs. A strange interaction happened.
My ladyfriend and I were standing next to each other and he said: "Are you two...together?"
We said: "Yes."
He then paused, looked at us with an expression of mild disgust, and said: "Okay, come forward."
When we did so he took my ticket and my passport and looked at them, then ever-so briefly glanced at me. He then said "Okay...".
When he took my ladyfriend's ticket and passport he opened up the passport and said:
"Mmmmm... what is this? Mmhmm. Ooh! You got that school girl look. Yeah..."
I looked at him like: "What the heck?!"
My ladyfriend made an uncomfortable giggle.
He kept grinning at her for a second and then gave her ticket and passport back.
Here is my question:
If, as most of my fellow liberals say, power plus prejudice is racism, was I a victim of racism committed by a black law enforcement officer who has power over me and prejudice against white men?
I would say my ladyfriend got the brunt of this inappropriate and ignorant comment, and I would also say there is sexism in there too.
But was I the victim of a small act of racism or even both racism and sexism?
I don't know how many times I've been told that racism cannot be attributed to a minority because they do not have power over anyone else. Personally, I think this is BS, but good luck finding anyone who will validate your suspicion.
That said, I don't think there was any racism or sexism involved in the interaction, he was simply exerting dominance over you by flirting with your girlfriend.
That said, I don't think there was any racism or sexism involved in the interaction, he was simply exerting dominance over you by flirting with your girlfriend.
I would say his attempt to exert dominance over me and his feeling of entitlement to attempt to flirt with my ladyfriend was racially motivated.
I would say his attempt to exert dominance over me and his feeling of entitlement to attempt to flirt with my ladyfriend was racially motivated.
Yes, but you're culturally indoctrinated to see race above all other qualities. Take it out of the equation and consider again.
Yes, but you're culturally indoctrinated to see race above all other qualities. Take it out of the equation and consider again.
Who culturally indoctrinated me?
So I have thought: Would he have made the same comment if my ladyfriend was white?
Or would he have made the same comment if I was black too?
I don't think he would have.
Interestingly, I was at an atheist dinner discussion group and I told them this story.
The SJWs present agreed with you, Alan. They said it was not racially motivated. They actually said: "Of course you think it is racially motivated, UL! You are a white man!"
One woman, not a full-fledged SJW said: "It could be a micro-aggression against you... Interesting." It was as though she thought micro-aggressions could not happen to a straight white male.
A couple of the guys there said: "It was clearly about race and it was an attack on UL's masculinity."
ApatheticNoMore
6-7-18, 6:22pm
Any chance he may have suspected she was underage, or what was the schoolgirl comment about? And that could explain the disgust as well "another middle age guy with a minor - sick!".
I think your SJW friends are right, but for the wrong reasons. They are (by definition) convinced that a minority cannot be racist because that is the provenance of whites only, they frame all interactions from that belief.
I think the 'couple of guys there' are half right as well.
Any chance he may have suspected she was underage, or what was the schoolgirl comment about? And that could explain the disgust as well "another middle age guy with a minor - sick!".
Uh... no. She is in her mid 40s. Her passport pic is several years old, but not that old. She had a different hairstyle back then and nerdy glasses in her passport pic. But her hair now is long, thick braids and she was not wearing glasses.
I think your SJW friends are right, but for the wrong reasons. They are (by definition) convinced that a minority cannot be racist because that is the provenance of whites only, they frame all interactions from that belief.
I think the 'couple of guys there' are half right as well.
It is interesting. You think that SJWs are convinced everything is racial. You seem convinced nothing is racial.
It is interesting. You think that SJWs are convinced everything is racial. You seem convinced nothing is racial.
No, some things are, just not everything.
Teacher Terry described vulnerable as children, the elderly and homeless, but now I see why UL thinks he is vulnerable. Someone picked on him at the airport.
Teacher Terry described vulnerable as children, the elderly and homeless, but now I see why UL thinks he is vulnerable. Someone picked on him at the airport.
Actually, I have a chronic illness.
Chicken lady
6-7-18, 7:23pm
Was he taller than you? Younger? more muscular? More attractive? Men can find so many reasons to believe a woman should be with them instead if another man.....
Was he taller than you? Younger? more muscular? More attractive? Men can find so many reasons to believe a woman should be with them instead if another man.....
He was sitting at the booth, so I don't know.
Around my age.
Not more muscular.
More attractive? I don't know. I am not the best judge of men's attractiveness.
But do you think that it is possible it was racially motivated?
iris lilies
6-7-18, 8:27pm
No, some things are, just not everything.
In St. Louis everything is about race even when it is not.
In St. Louis everything is about race even when it is not.That's why I've given up on a post racial society, there's too much power in grievance, white guilt and privilege.
Chicken lady
6-7-18, 10:02pm
Sure it’s possible.
i’m not The best judge of social relations though, so even if I had been there, I probably wouldn’t be the one to ask.
i apparently had a “ social interaction” with a woman in a store in which she assessed me, judged me, and regarded me with contempt. Dh was very amused telling me about it later (he was there) and really busted up when I honestly asked “what woman?” She never made it out of my short term memory. I’m not sure she made it into my short term memory. We’d only been out if the store about 5 minutes when he started laughing. I probably wouldn’t even notice if someone hit on him in my presence.
Sure it’s possible.
i’m not The best judge of social relations though, so even if I had been there, I probably wouldn’t be the one to ask.
i apparently had a “ social interaction” with a woman in a store in which she assessed me, judged me, and regarded me with contempt. Dh was very amused telling me about it later (he was there) and really busted up when I honestly asked “what woman?” She never made it out of my short term memory. I’m not sure she made it into my short term memory. We’d only been out if the store about 5 minutes when he started laughing. I probably wouldn’t even notice if someone hit on him in my presence.
You are funny CL I would enjoy being around you, someone who doesn't take offense when offense is intended.
So, what DID occupy your mind when you were in the store, being judged?
Chicken lady
6-8-18, 5:03am
Chocolate.
Chocolate.
There’s not much that should have a higher priority than that.
Also at the atheist discussion some women railed and railed against white men. They literally said things like:
"White men will always stand in your way at a concert or block your view."
"My friend was pregnant in NYC and white men never gave up their seat for her, only men of color would do that."
"White men take up too much personal space, like when sitting they will 'manspread'."
Now, keep in mind I know that I know some of these women are married to white men and that at least one has a four year old white son. And these women themselves are white.
The white men's reactions around the table were most interesting.
A couple guys looked totally flabbergasted and offended, but were silent.
Another guy said: "When I lived in Boston I would always give up my seat to a woman on public transit."
One dude said to the ladies: "You are making a generalization." But he was not saying it as a critique, but as a way to justify their statements.
Chicken lady
6-8-18, 7:07am
The middle comment was an observation.
are you sure this is in the right forum?
also, i’m Not sure what being married to a member of x group has to do with ones comments on x group. Is that like “some of my best friends are black?”
The middle comment was an observation.
are you sure this is in the right forum?
also, i’m Not sure what being married to a member of x group has to do with ones comments on x group. Is that like “some of my best friends are black?”
We talk about all kinds of topics here. Gun control. Abortion. Religion. TV shows. Books. Etc. But if you really think this topic is somehow way, way off base for this forum... I can request it be deleted. If other chime in and want it gone I will gone it.
I actually think saying "Some of my best friends are black" is a rather strong refutation of an accusation of racism.
I actually think saying "Some of my best friends are black" is a rather strong refutation of an accusation of racism.
I was unaware that it was possible to refute an accusation of racism.
I was unaware that it was possible to refute an accusation of racism.
You've intrigued me. What do you mean?
You've intrigued me. What do you mean?
Once the accusation has been made, no amount of data, apology, contrition, self-criticism, confession, or wearing of the hairshirt will suffice to remove the stain.
Once the accusation has been made, no amount of data, apology, contrition, self-criticism, confession, or wearing of the hairshirt will suffice to remove the stain.
That is horrible.
Chicken lady
6-8-18, 7:57am
I was just thinking that this was not so much about your “relationship” perhaps the word I was looking for was “subforum”?
better communication concerning the “married to white men” detail - being married to a woman doesn’t imly you are a feminist, only that you are heterosexual/lesbian/queer (side note, I still flinch at the term “queer” due to generational social influences, but my teen age students assure me that it is the appropriate and acceptable grammatical usage in this type of sentence.)
Why is it necessary to put everything into a racial context? Isn’t it enough to say some people are jackholes and leave it at that?
What is gained by attributing traits to groups rather than individuals?
I was just thinking that this was not so much about your “relationship” perhaps the word I was looking for was “subforum”?
better communication concerning the “married to white men” detail - being married to a woman doesn’t imly you are a feminist, only that you are heterosexual/lesbian/queer (side note, I still flinch at the term “queer” due to generational social influences, but my teen age students assure me that it is the appropriate and acceptable grammatical usage in this type of sentence.)
You can use the "q" word, I think.
Why is it necessary to put everything into a racial context? Isn’t it enough to say some people are jackholes and leave it at that?
I am glad you asked! :)
I think some people's jackhole-ness is motivated by racism, a particular ideology.
So the racial part of it makes it more specific. It is a way of making descriptions more accurate.
What is gained by attributing traits to groups rather than individuals?
What do you mean?
You can use the "q" word, I think.
The use of the word "queer" has evolved considerably since the days of my youth. It is no longer necessarily pejorative. As a word which is being reclaimed/repurposed, its meaning may be confusing at times.
I am glad you asked! :)
I think some people's jackhole-ness is motivated by racism, a particular ideology.
So the racial part of it makes it more specific. It is a way of making descriptions more accurate.
What do you mean?
What I mean is that I see jackholosity as an individual rather than a group trait, It doesn't require race/gender/class overlays to explain it.
There are some few convinced, ideological bigots out there, but they are much more rare than than the common jerks of all races and genders.
Some people are rude on subways, although I have also seen gentlemen offering up their seats accused of microaggression. It does not follow from that that white men are rude on subways. It's akin to accusing malevolent witches for your crops failing.
Much of what we call political correctness seems to me to be a close cousin of the prejudice it decries. We don't need graduate studies programs to credential experts to tell us that people can behave badly or spitefully. We don't need a new pseudo-clergy to whom we must acknowledge the sanctity of victimhood, confess our privilege and expiate our sinful DNA.
My experience is that many TSA employees enjoy hassling people regardless of physical characteristics. You can take their actions any way you please but I think they might enjoy their little bit of power.
iris lilies
6-8-18, 9:32am
Once the accusation has been made, no amount of data, apology, contrition, self-criticism, confession, or wearing of the hairshirt will suffice to remove the stain.
I have come to that conclusion as well, which is why it doesnt matter to me who accuses whom of racism.
Teacher Terry
6-8-18, 10:10am
So I travel often with my 5 lb dog to see my sons and she is very well behaved. I wear a sling that she rides in. So I smile at the TSA lady and she starts talking really nasty to me and this is in Chicago. She is older and black. I stayed nice but Cassie starts growling which is something she never does. I said I am sorry but Cassie is old with a lot of pain issues. She says no -she doesn’t like the way I am talking to you and then got nice.
So I travel often with my 5 lb dog to see my sons and she is very well behaved. I wear a sling that she rides in. So I smile at the TSA lady and she starts talking really nasty to me and this is in Chicago. She is older and black. I stayed nice but Cassie starts growling which is something she never does. I said I am sorry but Cassie is old with a lot of pain issues. She says no -she doesn’t like the way I am talking to you and then got nice.
I like your anecdote: both Cassie and the TSA employee showed rare awareness.
iris lilies
6-8-18, 10:48am
So I travel often with my 5 lb dog to see my sons and she is very well behaved. I wear a sling that she rides in. So I smile at the TSA lady and she starts talking really nasty to me and this is in Chicago. She is older and black. I stayed nice but Cassie starts growling which is something she never does. I said I am sorry but Cassie is old with a lot of pain issues. She says no -she doesn’t like the way I am talking to you and then got nice.
I’ll bet she had a little dog at home.
Teacher Terry
6-8-18, 10:52am
Jane, it was pretty amazing. I also don’t think it had anything to do about our race being different either. She was just having a bad day. I always try to be nice when I travel as it is hard enough on a good day. Unfortunately Cassie died of heart failure right after we got home from that trip. She was a one of a kind dog and I still miss her a year later.
Teacher Terry
6-8-18, 10:53am
IL, I had not even thought of that.
All the companion animals I have had, or known, have had unique personalities. I'm convinced their souls are as timeless as ours.
Add me to the voices of those who don't think the TSA guy had it in for Ultralight, particularly. I heard once that one out of three people dislikes you on sight. I think that's an exaggeration, but UL's friend may have reminded him of an ex or something.
Teacher Terry
6-8-18, 1:34pm
Yes animals are all different just like us. Most Maltese are really sweet but Cassie was a grump when we got her at 6 months. Very alpha and very much my dog. However, she figured out fast that if she wanted to travel she had to be sweet and she was always nice on trips. At home she was a terror jumping on a deaf dogs head when she was sleeping, nipping the 80lb husky/Shepherd mix, growling the big guy away from food, etc. She was the boss. She was totally devoted to me and wow what a hole she left when she passed because her condition was under control with meds so her passing was sudden and unexpected. I still had to put her to sleep but she was in pain screaming so it was an easy decision.
As much as I miss my departed cats, I don't miss the pain and heartache part. RIP feisty Cassie.
Teacher Terry
6-8-18, 1:47pm
Thanks Jane. actually we lost 2 within 2 months last year and our big guy is 13 and 1maltese is 14. That is why last year I got a baby for the first time in a very long time because I needed a break from dying.
iris lilies
6-8-18, 2:10pm
Just as our last cat was easing into very old age (she is 16 and incredibly FAt)
I ended ip with another “foster”cat. My friend’s daughter is mentally ill and is scattering household goods, boyfriend and fiance, pets and children all over.
The least I could do was take one of her cats “temporarily” when she asked me. When I accepted that responsibility I told myself there is a better than 50% chance this cat becomes my cat. That is proving to be the case. This is not the cat I woild have chosen for myself if choosing a cat because she is just a year old, she will outlive me. But I can only do what
I can do. Otherwise, she is a funny little cat and we enjoy her.
Teacher Terry
6-8-18, 2:32pm
That is great IL! We have rescued many a old dog when no longer wanted but that has come to a end. No more then 2 anymore. Too much work and too much $. How many dogs do you have left? Right now Mandy plays with Max 4-5x's/day. We will get him a buddy when she goes but the buddy must be young enough to want to play so thinking maybe 5 or 6 yo would be good.
iris lilies
6-8-18, 3:02pm
That is great IL! We have rescued many a old dog when no longer wanted but that has come to a end. No more then 2 anymore. Too much work and too much $. How many dogs do you have left? Right now Mandy plays with Max 4-5x's/day. We will get him a buddy when she goes but the buddy must be young enough to want to play so thinking maybe 5 or 6 yo would be good.
As far as dogs go, we have an 8.5 year old and an 11 year old. But I dont consider them the end of the bulldog train. Bulldogs dont last a long time and we always get them when they are fully adult anyway.
I was looking forward to a respire from litter boxes with cats. Cats live 20 years.oh well.
Teacher Terry
6-8-18, 4:23pm
Cats do live a long time. One of my Maltese lived to 20. She was a puppy mill breeder that we got at 10. Every year she seemed to get happier and younger. My friend said she was Benjamin Button and never going to die.
San Onofre Guy
6-8-18, 11:55pm
Ultralight, on another thread you spoke about how you have $170,000 of student debt and complained about it and how you hope to get relief (transferring the obligation to those of us who honor our debts and pay taxes), and here you speak of an experience of flying. If you can afford to pay for flights, you can afford to pay your student loans in full.
Ultralight
6-9-18, 12:54am
Ultralight, on another thread you spoke about how you have $170,000 of student debt and complained about it and how you hope to get relief (transferring the obligation to those of us who honor our debts and pay taxes), and here you speak of an experience of flying. If you can afford to pay for flights, you can afford to pay your student loans in full.
Do you know how much flights cost?
As far as dogs go, we have an 8.5 year old and an 11 year old. But I dont consider them the end of the bulldog train. Bulldogs dont last a long time and we always get them when they are fully adult anyway.
I was looking forward to a respire from litter boxes with cats. Cats live 20 years.oh well.
Didn't you retire just a year or two ago? If that was mid sixties you could easily live to mid eighties and not have the cat outlive you.
Ultralight, on another thread you spoke about how you have $170,000 of student debt and complained about it and how you hope to get relief (transferring the obligation to those of us who honor our debts and pay taxes), and here you speak of an experience of flying. If you can afford to pay for flights, you can afford to pay your student loans in full.
And of course it is not just the flights, it's also hotels and other expenses in most cases.
I loved when Amy Dacyczyn ( I had to look up how to spell her name) wrote about frugal vacations. She said even with all her kids she could find family members who would host them.
early morning
6-9-18, 8:42am
Random thoughts on vacation judgement:
*on this forum, people regularly blast those who let family impose on them by "asking" to stay while on vacation. Who knows how Amy's relatives REALLY felt about being descended upon by all those kids?
*Nose to the grindstone/no chance of having a vacation to do things one loves, might, just might, add to the despair and hopelessness people seem to be feeling, re the discussion on suicide in another thread. While there may be cheaper ways to travel, you can get some amazing deals on air/hotels in other countries, esp the ones that UL likes to visit. Most likely he is NOT spending nearly as much as you imagine.
*Student loans can't be discharged in bankruptcy, and we, as consumers, cover the costs to BUSINESS - in the form of higher prices- for those who run up credit card or business debt and declare bankruptcy, so I really don't see a huge problem with taxpayers picking up the tab for those who follow the rules for getting a portion of student loans discharged. My taxes go LOTS of places that I am morally opposed to, but this isn't one of them. If it is for you - well, I don't know anyone who doesn't disagree with some of the ways our government spends our money.
*UL is paying what is asked of him for his loans, and following the rules for future discharge of his debt.
And of course it is not just the flights, it's also hotels and other expenses in most cases.
When I was on my honeymoon back in 2007 my wife and I stayed in very reasonable hotels in Spain, Portugal, and England.
In Israel and got an Air BnB, which was just a small room in someone's apartment. In Jordan I stayed in a tent in the desert.
Argentina and Uruguay, I got Air BnBs. One was a real luxury -- I splurged. It was an efficiency apartment! One room for everything.
I don't buy souvenirs because I am minimalist. I do eat at restaurants, sometimes for dinner or lunch. These are little mom-and-pop restaurants that sell cheap, ethnic foods.
I usually just have leftovers or a couple pieces of fruit for breakfast when I am on vacation.
Look out, Robin Leach!
Early morning, there are sometimes government bailouts, but for the most part if a business files bankruptcy it only affects me if I choose to purchase its products or services. Taxes are different.
It is a question of ethics for me. Should one person achieve financial simple living at the expense of others? Values obviously differ here, and the fact that some government spending is not prudent seems a poor reason to me to just accept piling on of more corporate or upper middle class welfare. I don't buy the argument that after all, taxes go to lots of bad programs, what's one more?
Yppej:
Try to think of my student loan gravy train like this.
Society and our political representatives sort of acknowledge that education is not affordable and that financial literacy was not properly taught in most public schools. And as a result of this, I was both screwed over and made subsequent mistakes. The solution that came up with to try to rectify this was the Public Service Loan Forgiveness program.
There, does that make you feel better?
It would be more palatable if you didn't go around saying you are better than other people, proclaiming political views at odds with your reverse Robin Hood behavior, and failing to express any gratitude to those picking up the tab.
Ultralight
6-9-18, 10:00am
It would be more palatable if you didn't go around saying you are better than other people, proclaiming political views at odds with your reverse Robin Hood behavior, and failing to express any gratitude to those picking up the tab.
Are you better than a guy who routinely beats his wife and kids? This is your chance to prove how humble you are by saying you are no better than a wife beater. Go for it. Do it. Say it.
And now I can firmly say: "Boom, gotcha!"
I am working ten years in a job that I dislike profoundly to serve the public in order to get part of my loans forgiven. Can you not see that I am expressing gratitude with my labor (which in my book speaks louder than mere rhetoric)?
Something else: Our government (of, by, and for the people and whatnot) considers ten years of service to our nation to be as good as paying cash for the loan repayment. So I am paying them off -- through a combination of cash and service.
Another something else: I have done more public service, both formally and informally, than you have and I am a lot younger than you. So perhaps you are the political hypocrite proclaiming political views at odds with your behavior.
You work for a university and say that is serving the public.
If you had worked for the State University of New York Stony Brook would that have been serving the public? What about when it was privatized and became Stony Brook University? Would you still be serving the public?
I don't think most people would consider working at a college a public service or a sacrifice, but I could be mistaken.
Ultralight
6-9-18, 10:45am
You work for a university and say that is serving the public.
If you had worked for the State University of New York Stony Brook would that have been serving the public? What about when it was privatized and became Stony Brook University? Would you still be serving the public?
I don't think most people would consider working at a college a public service or a sacrifice, but I could be mistaken.
Under the PLSF program any government agency (city, county, state, federal) or 501c# non-profit counts as public service. Working for a private university might not count, unless it is a 501c3. Is Stony Brook a 501c3? Look it up and let me know.
You are asserting that most people don't consider working for a public school to be public service? Really?
I am working ten years in a job that I dislike profoundly
Sounds like you are bitter.
Ultralight
6-9-18, 10:47am
Sounds like you are bitter.
Does it? Does...it...? lol
If I say "I profoundly dislike broccoli" would you say I am bitter?
You are asserting that most people don't consider working for a public school to be public service? Really?
I don't think at the university level. Ivory tower is not a complimentary term.
rosarugosa
6-9-18, 10:50am
Just as our last cat was easing into very old age (she is 16 and incredibly FAt)
I ended ip with another “foster”cat. My friend’s daughter is mentally ill and is scattering household goods, boyfriend and fiance, pets and children all over.
The least I could do was take one of her cats “temporarily” when she asked me. When I accepted that responsibility I told myself there is a better than 50% chance this cat becomes my cat. That is proving to be the case. This is not the cat I woild have chosen for myself if choosing a cat because she is just a year old, she will outlive me. But I can only do what
I can do. Otherwise, she is a funny little cat and we enjoy her.
At least you did not end up with any of the children!
Ultralight
6-9-18, 10:59am
I don't think at the university level. Ivory tower is not a complimentary term.
Lots of terms are not complimentary -- like "old maid" or "crazy cat lady" -- but that does not make them accurate.
People who condemn the ivory tower (a place where you spent lots of time too, with all your fellowships and scholarships) forget all the public good that comes from our universities.
Here are a few things to remind you:
-Cancer treatment research
-Art shows
-Athletic events
-Concerts
-Libraries (which are open to the non-students)
-An educated citizenry (this is huge!)
-Environmental conservation
-Hospital services
-Employment
-All sorts of research (engineering, construction, medical, energy, etc.)
But yeah, Yppej, those are not really worth it. Be real here, Yppej.
You work for a university and say that is serving the public.
If you had worked for the State University of New York Stony Brook would that have been serving the public? What about when it was privatized and became Stony Brook University? Would you still be serving the public?
I don't think most people would consider working at a college a public service or a sacrifice, but I could be mistaken.
I would agree that it is not a sacrifice and I have taught at Many public colleges and universities and unfortunately did not get any remuneration for education. But I guess the answer is to work for legisltion to get rid of programs you think are reverse Robinhood programs and work for free community college and undergrad.
Everyone sees things from their own vantage point and I doubt anyone's mind will be changed by discussing here.
Ultralight
6-9-18, 11:00am
I would agree that it is not a sacrifice and I have taught at Many public colleges and universities and unfortunately did not get any remuneration for education. But I guess the answer is to work for legisltion to get rid of programs you think are reverse Robinhood programs and work for free community college and undergrad.
There are lots of people who think Robin Hood programs are stealing. Sound off, Right-wingers!
The public cannot borrow books from my state university's library. The state universities are where connected people (including Whitey Bulger's brother) have pulled down fat cat salaries, retirements, and golden parachutes. That's one reason tuition is so high.
Ultralight
6-9-18, 11:25am
The public cannot borrow books from my state university's library. The state universities are where connected people (including Whitey Bulger's brother) have pulled down fat cat salaries, retirements, and golden parachutes. That's one reason tuition is so high.
It varies by university. At Bama we had a public services librarian to serve community members who got community patron cards. Some universities offer a service to borrow through inter-library loan the university's collection. But something to remember is that all members of the public can enroll in the university and therefore use the library.
Ultralight
6-9-18, 11:26am
The state universities are where connected people (including Whitey Bulger's brother) have pulled down fat cat salaries, retirements, and golden parachutes. That's one reason tuition is so high.
You're right. Universities are basically the mafia. Yup.
Wow. Delusional much?
iris lilies
6-9-18, 11:35am
Didn't you retire just a year or two ago? If that was mid sixties you could easily live to mid eighties and not have the cat outlive you.
I dont expect to live until mid eighties for various reasons, and even if I do,
I wont be capable of taking care of pets.
But that is ok, this cat will have a home with us until that is untenable. I just would have preferred a ten year old cat, and older cats have a harder time finding a home.
Teacher Terry
6-9-18, 11:37am
You can fly to cheap countries and take vacation cheaply if you look for deals. For instance Poland is super cheap to visit while some European countries are very expensive. It’s a mistake to never do anything you want until your debt is paid off because you could be dead by then. In 1992 the feds paid for my masters degree and gave me a stipend of 300/month. The university was 300 miles from where I lived and I had to move. To pay it back I had to work in public rehabilitation for 3 years. I got a job I loved and made a career of it. Do people have to be miserable for you to be happy? Also you cannot just assume people want to put you up when you visit. We love to have company and some people don’t. When we travel if we just have 1 small dog our friends host us. This year we are coming with 2 small dogs and a 80lb shedding machine. A few people volunteered and I asked if they were sure. So out of a 42 day trip my son who gave us the shedding machine will host us and my husband cousins who love dogs. The rest of the time it is motel 6 or Airbnb apartments.
iris lilies
6-9-18, 11:41am
At least you did not end up with any of the children!
They are well aware of my limits!
Ultralight
6-9-18, 11:47am
I would agree that it is not a sacrifice and I have taught at Many public colleges and universities and unfortunately did not get any remuneration for education. But I guess the answer is to work for legisltion to get rid of programs you think are reverse Robinhood programs and work for free community college and undergrad.
Everyone sees things from their own vantage point and I doubt anyone's mind will be changed by discussing here.
Does public service have to be a sacrifice? I think it can be or it can be more like a calling, or even both.
My current job I consider a sacrifice and simultaneously an opportunity.
But being a mailman or a coast guardsman or a high school teacher, for instances, I think that these are more easily recognizable as callings.
Ultralight
6-9-18, 11:56am
You can fly to cheap countries and take vacation cheaply if you look for deals. For instance Poland is super cheap to visit while some European countries are very expensive.
Maybe I will go to Poland next! Uh-oh! I just triggered Yppej! lol
It’s a mistake to never do anything you want until your debt is paid off because you could be dead by then.
Would Yppej stand over my grave and say: "Okay, you are now absolved."?
In 1992 the feds paid for my masters degree and gave me a stipend of 300/month. The university was 300 miles from where I lived and I had to move. To pay it back I had to work in public rehabilitation for 3 years. I got a job I loved and made a career of it.
Watch out.
Yppej might go totally ballistic on you.
Do people have to be miserable for you to be happy?
This is actually the real question for Yppej. I enjoy vacations, but since I owe her and all the other taxpayers so much money I guess I should not do this thing I enjoy. But what about other things I enjoy that cost money? Maybe I should not buy pineapple. I like it, and it costs more than bananas. I guess pineapple for my breakfast is me being another fat cat enjoying my gravy train life as a gentleman debtor.
I mean, Yppej is really acting absurdly here. But she is in so deep she can't back out.
We'd all forgive her if she was just like: "Okay, I was in a bad mood for a few days. Sorry I went berserk over something like the Public Service Loan Forgiveness."
Teacher Terry
6-9-18, 12:07pm
You should go to Poland. It is beautiful. Kraków is my favorite city. We went the first time for my son’s wedding and are hooked. For a lot of years our vacation consisted of driving cross country to visit friends and family. There were 5 of us. We saved for 2 years to take them to DC for a week. As soon as they grew up I started taking real vacations as I had a close friend die young and it really hit home that life can be short. I think nothing short of a public flogging or you winning the lottery at this point will help. I bet you don’t play it because it is a waste of money :~)
We saved for 2 years
Great approach.
Ultralight
6-9-18, 12:16pm
You should go to Poland. It is beautiful. Kraków is my favorite city. We went the first time for my son’s wedding and are hooked. For a lot of years our vacation consisted of driving cross country to visit friends and family. There were 5 of us. We saved for 2 years to take them to DC for a week. As soon as they grew up I started taking real vacations as I had a close friend die young and it really hit home that life can be short. I think nothing short of a public flogging or you winning the lottery at this point will help. I bet you don’t play it because it is a waste of money :~)
I don't gamble at all. I am an L-7 square!
Good to know about Poland. I wonder if I could make it a twofer and go on a little side trip to a neighboring country...
Ultralight
6-9-18, 12:17pm
Great approach.
I did not save for my trips. My paychecks are so huge I can just get up and go when I like.
Teacher Terry
6-9-18, 12:27pm
Prague is close by and I heard it is prettier than Kraków.
Ultralight
6-9-18, 12:35pm
Prague is close by and I heard it is prettier than Kraków.
I have heard Prague is a very cool city!
Teacher Terry
6-9-18, 12:40pm
Next time we go to Poland we will go there
iris lilies
6-9-18, 1:22pm
I have heard Prague is a very cool city!
Prague is gorgeous, went there last fall.
If you are in that part of the world I highly reccomend Transylvania.
a region of Romania. It is the real Romania because so much of
Romania has been added onto and chopped out in various European wars. Transylvania has Lots of wild scenery, great European food, fabulous architecture. Castles, palaces, an
Orthodox chirch on every corner.
Bucharest is crap, spend as little time there as possible, which is not to say there are not things to see there because there are some very special things. But it is basically ugly, the communists screwed it over.
God, I loved Romania!
I am trying to get excited about going to Morroco, one of the places on my top ten list. But
I am getting bogged down by it being in sand country. I do not wish to see the Sahara desert and ride a camel.is there enough architecture to hold my interest? I dont know.
but the food would be sublime. Yes, I love eating.
Teacher Terry
6-9-18, 1:37pm
Thanks for sharing IL. We will definitely include that next time. I have no desire to see Warsaw because it was totally bombed during the war and the communists built big ugly cement buildings. Ugh!
iris lilies
6-9-18, 1:54pm
Now I am remembering Ma and Pa Kettle in Bucharesti (i.e. mr and mrs Iris Lily.) Sometimes we are so stupid!
For some reason,we refused to take a cab to the only big touristy place worth seeing in Bucharesti (of course, this is my opinion only!) and we walked for hours, I mean at least 4 hours, without getting there. Because we are cheap and also stupid. I blame some of this on DH who was our navigator.
But I will say, we saw a lot of the city, so there’s that.
The next day we used a cab to get to our destination which was The Village Museum, a most awesome outdoor multi-acre park that had 100 very small old farm houses, brought in from the countryside, each one a different style of architecture reflecting its region.
that cab ride cost about $8.
Dont be cheap and stupid like us!
Teacher Terry
6-9-18, 2:02pm
It reminds me of cruises where some people don’t want to pay for tours at the destination. You are there such a short time that it is foolish to try and see stuff on your own. A regular trip is different since you have time to reverse your mistake.
"...but the food would be sublime. Yes, I love eating."
I do too! Not enough to travel to Romania--or any farther than Bellevue, at this point--but yours is a sentiment I can appreciate. None of this sanctimonious "I eat to live" crap.
I’m with Jane! If ever I win the lottery, I plan to eat my way around the world.
We used to be cheap and stupid. I remember feeling cheated by a three wheeled taxi driver in Delhi and got out to walk. We were actually talking about a dollar or two. Tour guy told us this would happen. Foreigners are charged more BUT in dollars it really can be pennies.
Does public service have to be a sacrifice? I think it can be or it can be more like a calling, or even both.
What distinguishes public service? A government paycheck? Plenty of people do work that serves the public without one. Both on a for-profit and non-profit basis.
Teacher Terry
6-10-18, 10:11am
I think it must be non-profit or government to qualify
I think it must be non-profit or government to qualify
I guess I'm not thinking so much about the regulations of a specific program as the basic definition itself. We seem to grant an air of nobility to certain jobs simply because they are supported by taxes or charity. Do social workers provide more of a public service than farmers? I think it could be argued that bankers and plumbers are no less important to society than teachers or judges.
What distinguishes public service? A government paycheck? Plenty of people do work that serves the public without one. Both on a for-profit and non-profit basis.
There is also an assumption by some that work must be paid to qualify.
My critic here has claimed because I work in the private sector I do not contribute to society, but I have volunteered by traveling to a swing state to canvass for a progressive candidate, worked in the call center for a local progressive candidate, and engaged in a variety of activities relating to energy/environmental matters: spoken at public hearings, lobbied legislators, written guest editorials and letters to the editor published in the local paper, called into public affairs radio shows, filed regulatory complaints, participated in protests, collected signatures for a petition, collected data from consumers, worked with an attorney team seeking injunctive relief, and probably a few other things I am forgetting.
I have also helped out homeless people, giving them rides and in several instances letting them stay in my modest one bathroom home. One I assisted financially in getting back his license so he could work again. I also was his road test sponsor.
And I have done all this with less money and, as a single parent, less free time than my critic.
I am not listing here activities I did on company time to give my employer a public relations boost, but I have participated in those also.
Teacher Terry
6-10-18, 10:51am
Ldahl, yes as a social worker I have worked for profit agencies also. Same work as non-profit. There is value in all work.
early morning
6-10-18, 12:11pm
We seem to grant an air of nobility to certain jobs simply because they are supported by taxes or charity.
Really? I have one of those jobs. Mostly it feels more like an air of hostility that is granted.
Teacher Terry, I think also that there is value in most all work!
I am however wary of privatizing work that is mainly in the public services sector, having seen some very negative results. I don't think everything that we value needs to be based on the for-profit model.
There is also an assumption by some that work must be paid to qualify.
My critic here has claimed because I work in the private sector I do not contribute to society, but I have volunteered by traveling to a swing state to canvass for a progressive candidate, worked in the call center for a local progressive candidate, and engaged in a variety of activities relating to energy/environmental matters: spoken at public hearings, lobbied legislators, written guest editorials and letters to the editor published in the local paper, called into public affairs radio shows, filed regulatory complaints, participated in protests, collected signatures for a petition, collected data from consumers, worked with an attorney team seeking injunctive relief, and probably a few other things I am forgetting.
I have also helped out homeless people, giving them rides and in several instances letting them stay in my modest one bathroom home. One I assisted financially in getting back his license so he could work again. I also was his road test sponsor.
And I have done all this with less money and, as a single parent, less free time than my critic.
I am not listing here activities I did on company time to give my employer a public relations boost, but I have participated in those also.
thank you for your public service
thank you for your public service
Thank you Tybee. I have tried but discovered how much special interests control politicians, and how bad the revolving door is between regulator and regulatee, so I haven't accomplished nearly as much as I would have liked.
I know in the Buddhist world we talk about 'right livelihood'. When I have led talks on this topic I emphasize that it is not always the job but the intention you bring to it. My high price divorce lawyer was awesome and saved much of my sanity, although we generally think that divorce lawyers are not serving public good. Pretty much any job can be done with a positive intention and have an impact. Many companies support their employees in volunteer work or are flexible so they can have a lot of positive impact.
Personally I do not consider my 'do-gooder' job to make me a better person than anyone else,
I know in the Buddhist world we talk about 'right livelihood'. When I have led talks on this topic I emphasize that it is not always the job but the intention you bring to it. My high price divorce lawyer was awesome and saved much of my sanity, although we generally think that divorce lawyers are not serving public good. Pretty much any job can be done with a positive intention and have an impact. . . .
+1
Ultralight
6-11-18, 7:16am
What distinguishes public service? A government paycheck? Plenty of people do work that serves the public without one. Both on a for-profit and non-profit basis.
What? A better question is who. And the answer is our government.
What? A better question is who. And the answer is our government.
Only if we let them.
I would say my ladyfriend got the brunt of this inappropriate and ignorant comment, and I would also say there is sexism in there too.
Yup, that was definitely unprofessional behaviour on the part of the TSA agent. A bit creepy, and considering the power dynamic, creepier.
But was I the victim of a small act of racism or even both racism and sexism?
Well, he didn't detain you, search you, or insult you. It seems by your description that he basically just waved you through. (And then perved on your companion.)
You are reading some disdain in his body language which you are attributing perhaps to a disapproval of your relationship, but that's hard to pin down, other than to perceive it as a microaggression of sorts, though you have no way of knowing what was going through his mind - maybe he didn't like your clothing, your hairstyle, your age, your accent, your odor, or maybe he just didn't want to deal with a couple, or had hoped that your companion was on her own and a more fruitful target for his upcoming perving.
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