View Full Version : Happiness/Unhappiness scale
Ultralight
6-12-18, 6:21pm
This is not scientific. But I am curious.
If you had to rate your happiness/unhappiness on a scale of 1-10 which number would you choose?
1 is extremely unhappy (life sucks)
5 or 6 is not really happy or unhappy.
10 is really, flippin' happy.
Gimme a number and a sentence or two why you feel this way most of the time.
I know some of you might want to argue the way this scale is set up or what happiness really means, etc. Don't bother, if you want to do this, just ignore this question/thread. Just state the number and the couple sentence reason.
If you would... ;)
I will give it a go. Always about an 8. I cannot complain about my life as so many are seeing real difficulties. My husband says if the problem can be solved with some money, it is only an inconvenience. We have health and each other and our lives are as full and busy as we want. If my weight was lower, I might even say a 9.
6 on a bad day, 8 or 9 on a good day, 10 on those super special occasions (weddings/graduations....). A bad day is when I feel my talents are wasted/I'm wasting my time. A good day is when I get a lot of stuff done, have meaningful conversations with people I care about, have some downtime and some good food.
Teacher Terry
6-12-18, 7:23pm
Have been a 8 my whole life. I tend to look at the bright side of things.
About an 8 or so.
“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself in your way of thinking.” - Marcus Aurelius Antoninus Augustus
iris lilies
6-12-18, 7:37pm
If you will allow me to substitute the word “contentment”for “happiness”, I am 8 for days/weeks/months at a time while dipping up and down beyond the number 8 for short periods.
I am 8 because I am the master of my universe. I have no health, money, or relationship problems.
why aren’t you a 10 then, Iris? You might ask.
I am not a 10 because I am not a 10 kinda chick. I am drawn to the dark and the cynical.My idea of hell is women’s peison where my cellmate is Little Mary
Sunshine.
7 or 8 on the average. I have good health, a few good friends, like where I live, and am financially secure, which off-sets some negative things.
7 or 8...mostly since I have gotten older. I have always been an even keel sort of person.
Williamsmith
6-12-18, 9:50pm
10
I am lucky to be alive.
I live in a peaceful and quiet place.
That gives me plenty of opportunity to reflect on life and exercise positive thoughts.
Most importantly, I know what it’s like to be a 1.
ApatheticNoMore
6-13-18, 3:14am
I don't know 2 or 3. Well I don't naturally have that high a happiness set point, but I have been unemployed for awhile as well. It really does make me much more depressive to be unemployed and having to go through the job search thing (maybe if I wasn't I'd at least say 4 or 5). And it's not that I love work either, but it is harder to be unemployed and looking for work than it is to work especially after awhile. My best days are the days I don't even look for work! Ha but that is not sustainable :P.
rosarugosa
6-13-18, 5:44am
8 or 9 for me. I've probably been leaning more to 9 since retiring, but the 3 closest people in my world have health and other issues going on, and I may be facing a health issue myself, so that tugs me more towards 8. I've always been optimistic though.
Williamsmith
6-13-18, 6:11am
8 or 9 for me. I've probably been leaning more to 9 since retiring, but the 3 closest people in my world have health and other issues going on, and I may be facing a health issue myself, so that tugs me more towards 8. I've always been optimistic though.
There is an interesting correlation between optimism and happiness. Optimism is a style of thinking that is associated with many happy people. But is optimism a genetic predisposition or learned? It seems to be both. The question is, “Can we remain happy despite our circumstances?”. That seems to depend on your left brain mechanics and your ability to exercise the cells that control positive thoughts.
My happiness is directly related to my circumstances and by comparison to other times in in my life that were uncomfortable. Some say you can practice optimism and thereby control and even command happiness.
Ultralight
6-13-18, 7:01am
I don't know 2 or 3. Well I don't naturally have that high a happiness set point, but I have been unemployed for awhile as well. It really does make me much more depressive to be unemployed and having to go through the job search thing (maybe if I wasn't I'd at least say 4 or 5). And it's not that I love work either, but it is harder to be unemployed and looking for work than it is to work especially after awhile. My best days are the days I don't even look for work! Ha but that is not sustainable :P.
I am probably a 3. So thanks for being brave enough to say you are also sub-5.
My chronic illness is what make me a 3. Otherwise I would be a 6.
I will tell you all this, I am happy for all you 8s, 9s, and 10s (10 is rather unthinkable and amazing to me).
Heck, I am happy for the 7 too!
Ultralight
6-13-18, 7:02am
There is an interesting correlation between optimism and happiness. Optimism is a style of thinking that is associated with many happy people. But is optimism a genetic predisposition or learned? It seems to be both. The question is, “Can we remain happy despite our circumstances?”. That seems to depend on your left brain mechanics and your ability to exercise the cells that control positive thoughts.
My happiness is directly related to my circumstances and by comparison to other times in in my life that were uncomfortable. Some say you can practice optimism and thereby control and even command happiness.
Describe your optimism to me. What does it feel like? What sort of inner monologues do you have, if any?
Interesting question.
When I was in high school and had to provide the yearbook committee with an ambition for my yearbook, I put "To stay happy." My high school years were an explosion of joie de vivre. But I had written "to STAY happy" because I recognized that maybe my happy years in HS were a fluke. I had come out of a miserable childhood, and my high school years were like coming out of a coma.
For the most part I realized my ambition, although there were many years that I had to work at it because of my circumstances--poverty, home foreclosure, grinding workdays at a job I hated, substance abuse in the family. But no matter what these externalities were I was always able to find a little joy at least in little day-to-day things. I credit my spiritual beliefs with gratitude for the little things and the overriding optimism that Williamsmith mentions.
So, 1985 was a breaking point towards greater happiness due to a settling down of some of those externalities, and 1998 started another trend in the right direction of greater financial stability.
I consider my happiness set point to be about a 7.5. Sometimes the bobber will be pulled under by various circumstances but I'm usually able to recover. I've learned that those negative externalities may be a happiness distraction, but they don't have total power over me. Conversely, positive externalities may shine light on my little bobber but I don't give them too much credit for keeping me afloat. Happiness is an inside job.I believe I could raise my set point by more diligent practice of prayer/meditation and gratitude.
My next ambition is to be iris lilies' cellmate. :devil:
I've been thinking about this since it was posted. I would say generally that I run around an 8 or 9. But, right now, I really need a break from being the "responsible adult" in many spheres of my life. That's dragging my number down to maybe a 4 or 5 right now.
But, right now, I really need a break from being the "responsible adult" in many spheres of my life. That's dragging my number down to maybe a 4 or 5 right now.
Wow. Do I identify with that. When my dog died in February, everyone was pressuring me to get another dog, and my response was "No!! I'm sick of being responsible!!" I do think that maybe that is a drag on my happiness at this point. DH is so thrilled with this house in VT, as am I, but he has definitely increased his "what-me-worry?" attitude (and he never had much of that to begin with).
I'm a firm 8. i have my health. My husband and I love and enjoy each other's company even after 38 years. We can afford our hobbies and the travel we want. Retirement is well-funded and continued work adds frosting for some splurges if so desired.
Optimism: I expect positive outcomes. :) I expect to be happy. I expect my garden to grow and my harvest to be reflective of my work. :cool:I expect to be successful because I put in the hard work. To me, that defines optimism.
Considering recent studies have suggested that happiness is largely genetic--and depression runs amok in my family--I'm happy to be about a six most of the time. I can imagine being a seven or eight, given the right circumstances. I look like Mary Sunshine compared to a couple of my relatives.
8 or 9 for me. I've probably been leaning more to 9 since retiring .... I've always been optimistic though.
Same here.
Life is pretty rosy right now. Interestingly, I felt a slight and permanent downward shift in menopause which bumped me from a 9 to an 8. It was eerie, and makes me think that hormones have something to do with levels. My father was an especially sunny person so it does make sense that genetics plays a part.
I have a very good friend who hovers around a 4-5 and both she and her mother take medication for depression. Even with meds she's always on the anxious, glass half-full side.
iris lilies
6-13-18, 12:59pm
Same here.
Life is pretty rosy right now. Interestingly, I felt a slight and permanent downward shift in menopause which bumped me from a 9 to an 8. It was eerie, and makes me think that hormones have something to do with levels. My father was an especially sunny person so it does make sense that genetics plays a part.
I have a very good friend who hovers around a 4-5 and both she and her mother take medication for depression. Even with meds she's always on the anxious, glass half-full side.
Yes! I also experienced a 1+ drop in general contentedness/happiness after menopause. The highs of joy are not so high, also.
But something else that affects my scale by at least 1 point is my weight. Gain 20 lbs, go down a point. That is most likely due to inactivity and lack of endorphines, but I sure notice it.
Circling back to post menopause brain health, some famous person likened her own female post menopause state to that more like men have. She said that prior to menopause, her feelings were like a boat in a stormy sea, something up and happy on high points of the waves and sometimes deep it its swells.
now, her life is more like a steady, strong boat on a calm sea. She imagines that is how many/most men feel.
goldensmom
6-13-18, 1:19pm
I don’t think I can give happy a number. I am more content than happy. I think of happy as a mood that comes and goes depending on circumstances but contentment as a state of being. I am definitely a positive, see the best in everything type of person and I am happy a lot of the time but content in all things at all times.
Teacher Terry
6-13-18, 2:16pm
My Dad was a happy guy and I take after him. At 50 I was diagnosed with 3 chronic health conditions but I didn’t let this steal my happiness. It is just life. I expect good things to happen and always look on the bright side of things. I might be a ten if I quit reading and watching the news because all of the social injustice happened, school shootings and politics does wear me down.
Williamsmith
6-13-18, 2:54pm
Describe your optimism to me. What does it feel like? What sort of inner monologues do you have, if any?
I want to be honest UL. I haven’t explored the depts of inner contentedness and I don’t want anyone to get the notion that my 10 means I’m a cheery bloke with a don’t worry be happy attitude. My “happiness” is a direct result of good fortune and dumb luck. When I swing my legs out of bed in the morning and put my feet on the rug, I wiggle my toes and I smile. Every single damn morning.
It feels like staying up on your bike for the first time without anyone holding on, it feels like catching your first brook trout, it feels like holding your first puppy, it feels like your flight instructor signing off on your pilots license......it’s exactly the opposite of standing at a cold stainless steel table where the body of a State Trooper lies waiting to be autopsied, the opposite of attending the funeral of your fourteen year old nephew, nothing like receiving the news of your father’s sudden death and mercifully unlike laying on your back not knowing if you’ll ever walk again.
I haven’t found any inner speak that is magic.....the only thing that works for me is silence. In silence, I get guidance.
Teacher Terry
6-13-18, 3:27pm
WS: reading your description about how you feel in the morning reminds me of how my Maltese Josie was. She came to our house at 10 yo a broken little soul. She spent all her life living in a cage as a puppy mill breeder. She was also deaf. She would lay in a corner trying to be invisible. We put a bed in that corner. You couldn’t touch her, carry her, etc. Every night after work we took turns talking and petting her and showing love. It took 2 years to socialize her. Then one day she wakes us up by running around the bed barking her little head off. She was announcing the new day. She did this for 10 years despite having many health issues. About a week before she died she quit announcing the day and I knew it was time to help her leave. We had her joy for 10 years. Hope you don’t mind being compared to a dog:))
WS: reading your description about how you feel in the morning reminds me of how my Maltese Josie was. She came to our house at 10 yo a broken little soul. She spent all her life living in a cage as a puppy mill breeder. She was also deaf. She would lay in a corner trying to be invisible. We put a bed in that corner. You couldn’t touch her, carry her, etc. Every night after work we took turns talking and petting her and showing love. It took 2 years to socialize her. Then one day she wakes us up by running around the bed barking her little head off. She was announcing the new day. She did this for 10 years despite having many health issues. About a week before she died she quit announcing the day and I knew it was time to help her leave. We had her joy for 10 years. Hope you don’t mind being compared to a dog:))
Where's the emoticon for me being teary-eyed?
Beautiful story, Terry. For the record, I'll accept comparisons to dogs anytime.
I'm glad Josie's last years were happy ones, sweet girl.
Right now I'd say a 5 to 6. I've been a 1 before, too. I'd be an 8 or 9 if my relationship with my daughter was, well, IF it existed. The deal with her has me totally despondent (1 to 2-ish) if I think about it enough. But with therapy, I've been able to heal to where I can enjoy life to the point of a 6. Days I don't think about her situation, I live in an 8 to 9 world.
Oh such stability! Of course my mental issue is not around stability so what can I say, I range a lot through the numbers. Often the higher numbers are more about a pending mania.
I tend to more than a 5, a 6 on a regular basis is very good. More than that all the time and I think I am tempting the fates. Basically I work REALLY hard to get to where I am at, really hard at knowing this is my brain chemistry and not to take it personally when it is low.
Teacher Terry
6-13-18, 11:45pm
Kay, one of my 3 sons is 41 with a serious drug problem. He gets clean, gets a job , we all get hopeful and then down the shit tube again. None of us let him live with us anymore or give him money. We give support when he is clean and working. I can get pretty down if I focus too much on that. I hope you have another child that brings you some joy. My BF’s Mom has helped with this because she raised 5 kids in a loving home and 2 are all messed up and still on drugs in their 60’s.
Gardenarian
6-14-18, 3:40am
9, some days a 10. It's been getting better every year since I was 16 (definitely a 1) with some roller-coasting in my 20s.
I'm only comparing this with my own past, of course. Maybe in five years I'll be at 12, or 15 - or negative 2.
Thanks, Terry---it does give me comfort sometimes knowing I'm not the only one with this challenge, that I'm not singly "a bad mom." Yes, I do have another DD and we do well together. Her kids are my joy. Still....
8 most every day. The world could be better, but we've got it better than sooo many others, I try to appreciate what I do have instead of being angry at what I don't.
An 8 most of the time. But I have had fibromyalgia and severe arthritis for years. It gets harder each year to garden and be active. So when I hurt I drop to a 5. Time for a knee replacement. I wish the side effects for lyrica weren't so scary. Then my fibromyalgia would improve. I think I can live with the arthritis. Sorry, this is so whiney!
I’m usually 5-9. But with everything going on in our country I’ve been lower this year.
I started an automated monthly donation to the ACLU today.
I keep wondering what those Germans in 1935 could have done differently to stop hitler. And I realize the answer is not much. I am in a similar position now and feel powerless. Donating was the one thing I could think of to do.
I abhor the direction our country is going.
ToomuchStuff
6-16-18, 10:13pm
Five, indifferent to things in general, as the song goes life's a piece of s***, when you look at it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtF2p1Mr3_U
There will be happiness and sadness in moments across your life, hope from where you choose to take it, despair the same. I have dreamt about my death for more of my life then not, and think about not why are we here, or where did we come from, but what if anything will my existence mean. There is no reason to be particularly happy or sad about it:
Galaxy song link not allowed.
Teacher Terry
6-16-18, 10:42pm
Tammy I do too.
ApatheticNoMore
6-17-18, 4:24am
I don't think lawyers can save anything on a large scale. Lawyers prevent Hitler (not my metaphor as I'm referencing above, but I'll go with it for here). Never will happen!
But if you are concerned about more narrow issues like racial discrimination in the criminal justice system or prison conditions (others are more on the front lines of this sometimes but ok) then maybe.
Hmmm......interesting thread! I fear I have "dysthymia". I think I've been at about a 3, since I was born (thanks to Dad and Mom). But I don't want my present depression/pain to make me forget the good times I've had intermittently.
Right now, I'm about a 2-3. Overall in my life, it's probably been about 6. I have no clue how to be a positive person. I'm not being funny. I have no clue. I think it's easier to be closer to the "happy" end of the scale when you're younger and your body hasn't started to deteriorate, and you feel it's your turn to walk the plank. I suppose it's a day-to-day, moment-to-moment ongoing constantly changing rating of happiness. I am "happiest" when I have less pain and I can do the things I want to do, and my children are happy and healthy. When I go to bed at night and don't feel much pain and love that feeling of peace, it's a 9-10.
I would settle for a fairly constant of around a 7-8, with moments of 9-10. Not sure how to get there. There are just so many types of happiness. My garden is doing good and I was able to weed it and water it. That's a 10. I had to clean my house for Father's Day while feeling like poop.....that was a 2-3. My house is falling apart and DH doesn't notice it. That's a 1-2. We went to our favorite restaurant yesterday and had good conversation and a good meal. That was a 9. It fluctuates constantly.........but unfortunately always seems to bring me back down to about a 2-3 now. But I'm working on getting those numbers up.
UL.......cool thread that you started. Thanks!
I have no clue how to be a positive person. I'm not being funny. I have no clue. I think it's easier to be closer to the "happy" end of the scale when you're younger and your body hasn't started to deteriorate, and you feel it's your turn to walk the plank. I suppose it's a day-to-day, moment-to-moment ongoing constantly changing rating of happiness. !
One of Mom's wise comments while I was caring for her during the 7week dying process: Be grateful for what you can do instead of mad about what you can't do. We all lose abilities as we age.
I've had my knee replacement:cool: and I'm post-op day 10. I can walk without a limp! Will I downhill ski again? Hike mountain trails again? I hope so but don't know yet. But I can walk without a limp!!!! That is a celebration. I choose gratitude for that.
One of Mom's wise comments while I was caring for her during the 7week dying process: Be grateful for what you can do instead of mad about what you can't do. We all lose abilities as we age.
I've had my knee replacement:cool: and I'm post-op day 10. I can walk without a limp! Will I downhill ski again? Hike mountain trails again? I hope so but don't know yet. But I can walk without a limp!!!! That is a celebration. I choose gratitude for that.
Wonderful news. I'm happy for you!
ApatheticNoMore
6-17-18, 11:49am
Hmmm......interesting thread! I fear I have "dysthymia".
yea I think I do (which differs from full blown depression), but then when you add to it life ACTUALLY being hard, (well mine is because of not knowing what to do with my life to pay bills), but with all you health problems of course, which would seem very difficult to deal with, and then it might be stronger than that.
Happiness kind of doesn't really EVEN speak to me as a goal. There are moments I am joyful and joyful really is a better term to describe the fleeting feelings, it's obviously impermanent as a mood state. With my boyfriend? Sometimes. In nature? Often.
What speaks to me more? In good times: contentment. And contentment may even be somewhat dysthymic for me (!), just only very mildly so. So it's contentment.
In bad times: maybe something like Viktor Frankl's meaning in suffering. Ha and that's when I find any meaning AT ALL. There is also, and it's part of human experience too, pain beyond our inner ability to make much meaning in it. (I say that because I've seen Frankl used as a bludgeon to guilt people, and while meaning is probably healthier for us when we can find it, it's too much to always expect it). Maybe a professional can help there, notice at that point I don't even talk about contentment anymore.
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