Fat Acceptance/Fat Pride Movement

[Ultralight]

The BMI thread got me thinking about this. The Fat Acceptance/Fat Pride (heretofore referred to simply as Fat Pride for shorthand) seems to be something that has really caught on. There are famous plus-size models (Tess Holiday, pic shown below, and Ashley Graham) and big gals are now acting in all sorts of shows and movies (Melissa McCarthy and Chrissy Metz). These are celebrated public figures and shown as examples of empowerment and beauty.

Fat Pride certainly has its perks -- no more intra-personal struggles to lose weight or keep it off, no more feelings of shame or insecurity when you disrobe at the swimming hole, no more fighting those cravings to smash a pizza or bag of chips. Not concerning one's self with one's fatness would definitely simplify one's life in a sense too...

But... how does Fat Pride jive with the obesity epidemic? Either fatness is totally fine and even something to be proud of or it is a major danger to one's health. Right?

I also wonder, is Fat Pride just another way of trying to turn a vice into a virtue?

Full disclosure: I say this as a guy whose BMI is 28.8. And I am 5'9" and (as of yesterday) 192 elbeez! So I ain't skinny (not even in a funhouse mirror!).

Here is a pic of Tess Holiday just before her modeling career took off:
2255

[SteveinMN]

But... how does Fat Pride jive with the obesity epidemic? Either fatness is totally fine and even something to be proud of or it is a major danger to one's health. Right?
Sociology and cultural study is littered with examples of notions of beauty which were not healthful. Victorian squeeze-till-you-dropped corsets, Asian women with bound feet, even high heels today all illustrate how societies have ignored health in the name of beauty.

There's also the matter of reality. I will plead to not reading the BMI thread; in full disclosure I, too, am "underheight for my weight". But I don't believe obesity is a default state for people in good health except as a result of their usual environment. Americans (and, increasingly, residents of other countries) endure poor nutrition (the Standard American Diet is loaded with large portions and carbohydrates, food deserts can make it hard to buy nutritious food, etc.) and are less active overall (daily home chores are not so physical, many of us have sedentary jobs [and manual-labor jobs are being automated out of the workforce], having two or three jobs makes it hard to find time to exercise, etc.).

These are major structural issues that make it difficult for people to maintain a normal range of weight. Sure, at some point people need to not reach for that second or third donut and realize they do not have to be members of "The Clean Plate Club" and need to replace the movement that used to be part of everyday life. But all that requires going against the grain, which is difficult for many people.


I also wonder, is Fat Pride just another way of trying to turn a vice into a virtue?
Referring back to my previous paragraph, should it be considered a vice when one's environment supports unhealthful habits and not healthful habits? And why don't we turn other deviations from "young, thin, and beautiful" into "virtues"? Why is old age not celebrated in American society? Should we have a "Gray Pride" movement? tbh I think we'd be far better off with fewer "Pride" movements and just accepting people more as they are.



When you go out into the woods and you look at trees, you see all these different trees. And some of them are bent, and some of them are straight, and some of them are evergreens, and some of them are whatever. And you look at the tree and you allow it. You see why it is the way it is. You sort of understand that it didn't get enough light, and so it turned that way. And you don't gt all emotional about it. You just allow it. You appreciate the tree. The minute you get near humans, you lose all that. And you are constantly saying, “You're too this, or I'm too this." That judging mind comes in. And so I practice turning people into trees. Which means appreciating them just the way they are – Ram Dass

[Tybee]

Steve, thank you for a very thoughtful well-reasoned post, and thanks especially for that wonderful passage from Ram Dass--I need to focus on this, very profound. Thank you.

[Zoe Girl]

i think what makes me pause before judging someone who is seriously overweight is that I have had friends who eat less than me and even more healthy over the years that are heavier. A couple of them are very heavy actually. Now I am officially overweight, most people would just see I have a middle aged lady shape with more in the belly than I have had before. I used to be very small, and I ate like crap and didn't exercise for several years of that, then got healthier overall and every couple of years my weight re-set to another level. Last summer was the first time I got my weight to go down. I took months over summer camp to eat healthy, cut sugar down a lot and hike often. That took a major lifestyle shift that I have not been able to keep up while doing my school year job.

So I can't say I know how people who are overweight eat or exercise, but there is some data that suggests that the environmental toxins we are constantly exposed to are affecting weight in this country. That added on to the availability of junkier food and social norms around food,

Well bottom line for me is that shame never solved a problem or got people to make better choices. I am against shaming people on those grounds alone (and gray pride is awesome but I don't need a special day)

[CathyA]

Great response Steve (as usual)!

There are so many factors that go into being obese. But......at least with the picture UL posted......I can't find pride in that, if one has done what they reasonably can, to lose weight. Genetics play a big part too, and so I feel that you can probably be healthy and overweight......but not like the picture of that woman. There's no pride in that. And I also think that in this country, every single group of people with whatever problem/leaning/belief they're dealing with, are demanding to be tolerated/respected, etc., etc. So many things going on that can bring us to crazy places in this country. If I see an obese person in line in front of me at the grocery, and their cart is filled with Twinkies, chips, coke, etc., etc.........well, it's hard to think "She's doing all she can to be healthier"......and I honestly don't think she should expect to feel pride and demand that others feel okay with that.
It's a complicated issue........being overweight..........but I don't think we should expect a lot of respect, if we're not doing anything to correct unhealthy living. It's not like another type of "flaw", that we are born with and just have to live with it and hope people can still respect us. And our food-manufacturing part of our society isn't helping much, by offering horrible "food", that can cause us to crave it even more after we eat the bad stuff.

[iris lilies]

I have a girl crush on Denise Bidot. She is my favorite model, and she is plus sized. She is Arab-Latina.

[Zoe Girl]

I am 27.5, and I would have to lose 15 lbs to be 'normal'. I have often given myself a few pound leeway for the larger chest. I have a friend who just had a double mastectomy who used to be large chested like me and I haven't thought it was good to ask her how much weight she lost as a comparison.

I think 15 lbs lighter (140) would be very skinny, I would feel pretty good being under 150. 145-150 is a good goal.

[Teacher Terry]

I lost 40lbs but am still overweight. At 64 I am fine with that. I get 10k steps/day, watch what I eat and accept what is.

[bae]

My grandfathers and my great grandfather were obese.

It drove them all to an early grave, each in their mid-to-late-90s.

[Suzanne]

I’m always very conflicted about this question. I’m socialized to equate lower weight with health and, yes, attractiveness. I’m personally insecure and constantly eye my body reproachfully for its bulges and sags -and my BMI is 21.1. I recently checked my body fat % and it’s 32%. Depending on which metric I look at, I’m either in the healthy range for a woman of close on 60, or metabolically obese.

I wonder how things might change if everybody had to wear placards with health markers in large font? Say blood pressure, fasting glucose, and body fat %. It is possible to be fat and metabolically healthier than a thin person. There’s a huge and growing corpus of literature on TOFIs and FOTIs.

I accept intellectually that even thin, active people have diabetes, heart disease and cancer. It’s thought that diabetes is way under-diagnosis sed simply because thin people fall through the cracks of doctors’ vision. Yet I do still struggle to keep my mind out of the thin = healthy mindset, and I struggle not to equate attraction with weight. I know from art history class that very large people, especially women, were often considered the epitome of beauty. From anthropology, I know that Venus figurines tens of thousands of years old often (not always) depict obese women. The Willendorf woman was not sitting on a skin in front of a fire gorging on McAnything. When I first started studying Venuses, I found them grotesque; now I think they’re beautiful.

In the example of the person with the grocery cart full of Twinkies and other junk foods, would we be really judgmental if the cart-pusher were thin? Would we think of the skinny person that they are not doing their best to take care of their health? This is the bind that I too often fall into! Thin person plus large pizza is okay, fat person with single slice of pizza evokes internal mouth-pursing and tut-tutting.

Like ZoeGirl, I’m against shaming. It’s cruel and counter-productive. Many slightly overweight people who are teased/bullied about their weight become comfort-eaters and balloon.

Overall, I think Fat Pride should be a good thing. The weights that Western society sets as ideal may simply be unattainable for many people. They may be only temporarily attainable and completely unsustainable for even more people. I recently watched a documentary on the biochemistry of obese people, and it turns out that there are very powerful metabolic forces driving the body to regain its shed weighr.

I’m really inclined - intellectually - to engage with the Health At Every Size ethos. That in turn requires acceptance of Fat Pride.

[Ultralight]

My grandfathers and my great grandfather were obese.

It drove them all to an early grave, each in their mid-to-late-90s.

How long could they have lived if they were healthy weights?

[Ultralight]

I have a couple follow-up questions as this discussion has been making me think!

What exactly is "shaming?" I hear the word thrown around often, especially among lefties.
I have even used the term shaming, half in jest and half serious (with my half-cocked knowledge of what it means).

[iris lilies]

I have a couple follow-up questions as this discussion has been making me think!

What exactly is "shaming?" I hear the word thrown around often, especially among lefties.
I have even used the term shaming, half in jest and half serious (with my half-cocked knowledge of what it means).

Oh come now, you dont k ow what “shaming” is?

It is pointing out, in a public way, behavior or existences that do not fit with the pointer’s idea of right.

[bae]

How long could they have lived if they were healthy weights?

Statistically, about 17 minutes more.

[Ultralight]

It is pointing out, in a public way, behavior or existences that do not fit with the pointer’s idea of right.

Here is the thing that I don't quite get. Well, maybe it is more than one thing.

1. If someone is confident, then why do they care if someone is "shaming" them? Why insist that the shamer stop shaming?

2. Perhaps shame is something we ought to feel, like guilt, sorrow, anger, happiness, etc.? We should feel these things at times. When I was kid my little sister had this colorful pencil she really liked. She ticked me off one day and I grabbed it and snapped it into pieces and splinters. To this day I am ashamed of my actions. If you "shame" me for this, I'd say: "Yeah, it is shameful." Because it is.

[bae]

Here is the thing that I don't quite get. Well, maybe it is more than one thing.

1. If someone is confident, then why do they care if someone is "shaming" them? Why insist that the shamer stop shaming?


Because civility is the balm that allows our planet's apex predator to live together in high densities without too much bloodshed.

[Yppej]

They may remember how hard it was before they developed self-confidence and be looking out for other heavy individuals who don't have that pride yet, and may be suffering psychologically from the negative views of their body size in the culture at large.

[Ultralight]

So what qualifies as shaming?

If a slim and trim gal points at a a big gal a few steps away from her on the sidewalk and says: "You are a fatty!" would that be shaming?

If a guy is having a conversation with friends and acquaintances says "I am not attracted to fat women; they disgust me" is he shaming big gals?

Suppose a personal trainer, a ripped fitness guru type tells a group of trainees that being fat is unhealthy and makes them less attractive by most folks' standards, is that shaming?

I ask these questions sincerely. Keep in mind that I am on the fat side of life and that my significant other is plus-size.

[ApatheticNoMore]

2. Perhaps shame is something we ought to feel, like guilt, sorrow, anger, happiness, etc.? We should feel these things at times. When I was kid my little sister had this colorful pencil she really liked. She ticked me off one day and I grabbed it and snapped it into pieces and splinters. To this day I am ashamed of my actions. If you "shame" me for this, I'd say: "Yeah, it is shameful." Because it is.

ok but being fat is the dumbest thing ever in history to feel ashamed about. But the problem is the people who most should be ashamed aren't ever going to be: it's called sociopathy. While people doing nothing much to be ashamed of, will.

[Ultralight]

ok but being fat is the dumbest thing ever in history to feel ashamed about. But the problem is the people who most should be ashamed aren't ever going to be: it's called sociopathy. While people doing nothing much to be ashamed of, will.

Not sure I follow. Please explain...

[Yppej]

So what qualifies as shaming?

If a slim and trim gal points at a a big gal a few steps away from her on the sidewalk and says: "You are a fatty!" would that be shaming?

If a guy is having a conversation with friends and acquaintances says "I am not attracted to fat women; they disgust me" is he shaming big gals?

Suppose a personal trainer, a ripped fitness guru type tells a group of trainees that being fat is unhealthy and makes them less attractive by most folks' standards, is that shaming?

I ask these questions sincerely. Keep in mind that I am on the fat side of life and that my significant other is plus-size.

1. Yes
2. He should word it positively, e.g. "I am attracted to slender women"
3. The guru should avoid the use of the word fat, but instead talk about achieving a healthy weight, and how that will also make people feel better about themselves and project a better self-image

[herbgeek]

Shaming, imo, is when you say something with the intention of making someone feel bad. It could be something like calling someone a name ("fatty") or phrased as a question such as "should you really be eating that?" or checking out someone's supermarket cart at the checkout line with a disapproving face.

Expressing a preference outside of earshot of a person in that population is not shaming (but depending on what you say, could still be offensive/rude).

[Suzanne]

The example of a slim girl pointing at an overweight one and saying “you’re a fatty!” Is definitely shaming. It’s a deliberate attempt to make her bad about herself.

If you walk behind a fat man and say, deliberately loud enough that he can’t help hearing you “why doesn’t that fat pig just kill himself? I’d rather die than look like that!” That is shaming.

When a fat girl has clearly gone to a lot of trouble - beautifully groomed, well dressed - and you say “why waste time and money in on clothes? You need to go on a diet” - that’s shaming.

I think we all know what shaming is. It’s born of malice and a desire to hurt.

[CathyA]

Suzanne, I would think the same thing if I saw all that stuff in a thin woman's cart......purely in a "health" way. And it's extra disconcerting if there's a child in the cart. :(
I'm overweight myself, but I eat really healthily most of the time. Does "shaming" include our own private thoughts too?

[Chicken lady]

Not always.

sometimes it’s born of a desire to help:
”so-and-so is such a pretty girl, it’s a shame she’s so heavy.”
”If you lost a few pounds this would look gorgeous on you.”
”you really shouldn’t wear those pants.”
”that’s not a good look on you.”
”this dessert is sugar free.”

all of thise comments can make someone feel feel bad about the way they look.

my heartdaughter and I had a conversation the other day because I commented that I needed to incorporate more movement into my day now that I wasn’t teaching because “when I sit a lot, my mood goes down and my weight goes up.” She said “i’m more worried about the first one.” And I said “i’m Equally worried about both - they feed off of each other, and they are both health concerns, and actually the weight is probably worse, because right now my knees hurt all the time, so I want to sit, so that is a primary contributor to both. And I want to put off knee replacement as long as possible.”

and she said “I should have more of that attitude toward my weight. I keep working on “body positivity”, but I should be working on “body is healthy and feels good.”

[Ultralight]

1. Yes
2. He should word it positively, e.g. "I am attracted to slender women"
3. The guru should avoid the use of the word fat, but instead talk about achieving a healthy weight, and how that will also make people feel better about themselves and project a better self-image

So you think one kind of shaming is okay, but another is to be condemned?

[KayLR]

IMHO, if the comment is meant to be demeaning--and has the secondary benefit of making the speaker feel superior--then that is shaming.

I told another woman my age the other day that I felt she was engaging in shaming because she and a few of her friends were "discussing" how women who colored their hair are doing something bad. That they were not "going gray gracefully." It was really getting to be snobbish. Frankly I don't care what anyone does with their hair if it makes them feel better about themselves. Not everyone's gray hair comes in with the beauty of Emmylou Harris.

[Yppej]

So you think one kind of shaming is okay, but another is to be condemned?

As herbgeek said, expressing a preference outside of earshot of someone is not shaming.

[Ultralight]

As herbgeek said, expressing a preference outside of earshot of someone is not shaming.

Okay, "within earshot" is imprecise. Can you give me a certain number of feet or yards difference?

So if a woman says: "I am not attracted to short men" and a short man hears it, then it is short shaming?

What if a woman says to a man of average height who asks her on a date "I prefer tall men. No thanks."

I went to a comedy club a few years ago. The comedian did this bit where he referred to a trans-woman's surgically-created vagina as a "cock pocket" because the surgery involves turning the penis inside-out.

Was this shaming of trans-women?

For the record: I did not laugh at that joke. I found it distasteful.

Suppose a lesbian is hanging around a group of straight guys and she says "I am only attracted to women. If you have male equipment, I am not interested!" is she straight-shaming?

[Yppej]

Oh, all the poor shamed brunettes because "gentlemen prefer blondes".

[Ultralight]

The best antidote to "shaming" is self-confidence, or admitting the person has a point and changing (or deciding it is not worth changing and then self-confidence again).

[Yppej]

So which route are you taking?

[iris lilies]

I could write a lot about “shaming” on Nextdoor because there is constant push back about the posts that are, to some people, “shaming.”


But I probably won’t write much because really, who cares?


Suffice to say that “shaming” is not always “shaming.”

[herbgeek]

Okay, "within earshot" is imprecise. Can you give me a certain number of feet or yards difference?

Ok now you are being a jerk. Yes I'm jerk shaming.

[iris lilies]

Ok now you are being a jerk. Yes I'm jerk shaming.

OM fking G!!! So funny!

[bae]

My daughter has been home from college now for a few weeks.

On several occasions since her return, I have observed her being "thin-shamed".

She didn't gain weight at college. She in fact got much stronger and stringier and more agile. She exudes an aura of "effortlessly healthy and capable mammal". Yet people are encouraging her to eat more, pointing out how "thin" she is, worrying about her health and mental status because, well, she's not fat.

She almost crushed me in saber fencing this morning, I still have quite an edge on longsword though. Age and treachery will not save me much longer, even though I am vastly stronger, and still reasonably quick. I think part of it is that her reaction time is clearly faster than mine, and she has enough speed, advantage in reach, and her stringy-strength is better in some ways than my "heavy things" strength.

[Suzanne]

Intentionality is the key. If you fully intend for somebody to hear you make a derogatory comment about them, that’s shaming. If you point and say something mean, that’s shaming.

I think there’s a real difference between shaming somebody over their weight or crooked teeth or lack of education and being ashamed of doing something bad. So if you drive drunk and crash the car into the mailbox, and your wife says “You should be ashamed of yourself!”, that I’d not shaming. If your wife gets into a major rant at a dinner party, and everybody is shuffling in their seats, it’s not shaming her to say “I was really ashamed of your behaviour.”

It’s shaming if your wife makes fun of your erectile dysfunction st a gathering. It’s shaming if you make a mockery of the size of her underpants.

It seems very clear to me. If somebody is out to be nasty to or about a specific person, and makes sure that person hears them, that’s shaming,

[Ultralight]

My daughter has been home from college now for a few weeks.

On several occasions since her return, I have observed her being "thin-shamed".

She didn't gain weight at college. She in fact got much stronger and stringier and more agile. She exudes an aura of "effortlessly healthy and capable mammal". Yet people are encouraging her to eat more, pointing out how "thin" she is, worrying about her health and mental status because, well, she's not fat.

She almost crushed me in saber fencing this morning, I still have quite an edge on longsword though. Age and treachery will not save me much longer, even though I am vastly stronger, and still reasonably quick. I think part of it is that her reaction time is clearly faster than mine, and she has enough speed, advantage in reach, and her stringy-strength is better in some ways than my "heavy things" strength.

Interesting family pastimes!

[Ultralight]

Intentionality is the key. If you fully intend for somebody to hear you make a derogatory comment about them, that’s shaming. If you point and say something mean, that’s shaming.

I think there’s a real difference between shaming somebody over their weight or crooked teeth or lack of education and being ashamed of doing something bad. So if you drive drunk and crash the car into the mailbox, and your wife says “You should be ashamed of yourself!”, that I’d not shaming. If your wife gets into a major rant at a dinner party, and everybody is shuffling in their seats, it’s not shaming her to say “I was really ashamed of your behaviour.”

It’s shaming if your wife makes fun of your erectile dysfunction st a gathering. It’s shaming if you make a mockery of the size of her underpants.

It seems very clear to me. If somebody is out to be nasty to or about a specific person, and makes sure that person hears them, that’s shaming,


Suzanne:

I really appreciate your insights on this. I feel like I understand more now and can see distinctions. Thanks!

[KayLR]

I think Suzanne is right on about this. Been thinking a lot about this since reading it yesterday. Someone engaged in shaming is looking down on someone from their superior viewpoint and saying, "You really shouldn't be seen."

[ApatheticNoMore]

I think there’s a real difference between shaming somebody over their weight or crooked teeth or lack of education and being ashamed of doing something bad.

yea shame people for their moral transgressions if that's your thing (but just make sure they are actually substantial you know - if you want to use shame for social control save it for the big things). But fat isn't a moral crime, not in my universe.

as for shaming a fat person not even because it's causing them health problems (for which shame doesn't seem a good response, but which can be a concern but only in some cases aka one is prone to knee problems or had pre-diabetes etc.) but because of how they look. f off.

yea as women we know our duty is too look good for men, but we may not care about men enough to bother most of the time, because the vast majority of the time men frankly aren't worth the trouble. I've always been somewhat attractive, I've never been stunning, I've usually especially when younger when it was more necessary to do so played it down, I always loathed the fact that my worth would be judged by men judging my appearance. So that shame that just objectifies women's bodies won't work, in fact it's just as likely to make some women want to eat a whole cake! ha!

[catherine]

Shaming someone is external; feeling shame is internal.

So do we have to accept the external condition? Can someone shame us and we say, with our fingers in our ears "I don't hear you"--or even better, "F*** you and MYODB".

My grandson told me I have "weird hair" because it's gray. He's 4 years old and he said "Your hair is weird. It's grey. It should be yellow or brown" (he really said this). So did I feel ashamed of my grey hair? No. And if my client or my best friend told me I have weird hair, would that be age-shaming me? Or hair-shaming me?

Who cares. I'm not having it.


ETA: That's the joy of getting older.

[Yppej]

I didn't thin shame him, but when I went to the mechanic today he was noticeably thinner, more sallow, and had a missing tooth. It did make me think, I hope this guy doesn't have some medical issue, possibly meth addiction. But he acted normal.

[Gardenarian]

Tl;dr
I get a lot of people telling me to eat more. I'm only slightly under weight (BMI 18) and I've been the same weight for 40 years. I feel like, mind your own business!

Most people I know (40-70 years old) are a little plump, which is not unattractive - helps fill out the wrinkles. Guys usually have a belly, well, they're not 18 anymore. Who cares?

But real obesity is a disease and obviously puts great strains on the body. I don't believe in "fit at any size." I assume that most really fat people have metabolic disorders of some kind. Not judging appearance, but obesity is a disability and health risk, not a fashion statement.

[Gardenarian]

Reading through this thread - I keep wondering why people feel it necessary to comment on someone else's shape at all? Geez, they know they are fat/thin/trollish/emaciated, whatever, and we all know too well what society's ideal is.

When I describe people I use the terms "small build", "large build", "very large build."

[pinkytoe]

We all have thoughts in our head about how people look or act but commenting aloud is just plain rude. I must be hanging out with the wrong people as I have never heard anyone comment on someone's weight other than relatives who asked why DH had lost so much weight - was he ill perhaps? I am guilty of looking over people's grocery carts and making assumptions - but only in my own wicked brain.

[iris lilies]

Dog weight—is it rude to comment? Haha. Someone who comes to our house about once a year commented that my white bulldog had gained weight. That was a useful comment because I had not noticed. He is a pretty heavy dude anyway, being a big boned bulldog.

I put him on slightly reduced rations and he lost 3lbs.

[Tybee]

Dog weight—is it rude to comment? Haha. Someone who comes to our house about once a year commented that my white bulldog had gained weight. That was a useful comment because I had not noticed. He is a pretty heavy dude anyway, being a big boned bulldog.

I put him on slightly reduced rations and he lost 3lbs.

My husband's nephew's girlfriend called our golden retriever "fat."

He now thinks nephew should dump the girlfriend and doesn't want to attend functions where she is present.

Of course, she has done other rude things, but it was saying that about the dog that sealed her fate with him.

[catherine]

This all speaks to how to respond to rudeness. Can you brush it off? Do you harbor it? Like Tybee suggests, if it's a one-off, OK, you can brush it off. If someone is consistently rude, and what point do you cut them off?

I've had people call my dog fat. I've had people call my baby fat (at 4 months he was in the 98th percentile for weight. Yes. He was fat.). I've had my 4 year-old daughter call a good friend fat. Like Gardenarian, I've had people tell me I'm too skinny (not in the last decade, though :).

When does a prick become "slings and arrows"?

[Tybee]

I guess for DH it was when she said, "oh look at how fat you are."

I didn't like her when we took her out to lunch and she watched the bar tv and commented to her sister about what was on television, ignoring my husband, her boyfriend, and me. They also canceled on us for a social outing that we had set up, and then showed up at our house unannounced.

I think Suzanne's point is really an important one, and I agree with Chicken Lady, that that kind of early damage does not resolve itself easily, or by the kind of things one might say or do if one had not been subjected to that kind of damage. I wish I had a good answer to Suzanne's question, and I think it's a really important question.

I'm not sure, though, why my husband reacted so strongly to the girl calling our dog fat, as she is kind of fat, but he tends to see the dogs as his children.

[catherine]

I'm not sure, though, why my husband reacted so strongly to the girl calling our dog fat, as she is kind of fat, but he tends to see the dogs as his children.

I hear ya. My dog was fat, too. And at the dog park, all the people would look at other dogs and say "Oh, what a cute dog! What kind is it?" And no one ever asked me that about Nessie. :( But I adored her just the way she was. Like your DH, I'd probably write off someone who didn't like the way she looked, too.

[iris lilies]

Well here is an update on my fat dog: he lost weight again.This time, 2 lbs in 3 months, and we havent been trying to get his weight down.

Now I am worried that something is going on with him.He still eats like a pig, so nothing is obvious yet.

[Alan]

We have a Miniature Pinscher that looks like a football. My daughter says she's fat, and I have to agree. I don't think it shames the dog though.

[pony mom]

I've always been thin my entire life and have been thin-shamed more times than I can remember. At work I always bring healthy food for lunch and hear comments from coworkers that I don't need to eat that way; they're eating pizza and chips and soda and are all overweight. Women tell me that men don't like skinny girls. Years ago a total stranger, from out of nowhere, told me I was too thin. This p*ssed me off so much that I told her that I had been very sick for a long time. That shut her up and hopefully she won't make such a rude comment to another person.

Weight shaming can go both ways. Obesity is an epidemic and in a lot of cases this can be reversed with exercise and a healthy diet. But why bother when crappy food is cheap and easy to obtain. Oversized carts and wheelchairs are available everywhere you want to shop. Personally I don't find obese/extremely overweight people physically attractive, but I probably like them as a person.

But DON'T say my dog is too thin! Most of the dogs I see are overweight and their owners will always comment how thin my petite dog is. Well, your dog's waistline should be visible and you should be able to feel some ribs. Thinner dogs live longer with fewer health issues.

[catherine]

I found this piece to be really on-point about what it must be like to endure fat-shaming


https://www.facebook.com/Upworthy/videos/1884064358317767/