View Full Version : Where do you draw the line and put your health first?
gimmethesimplelife
6-20-18, 9:08am
I'm just curious where other people draw the line and put their own health first beyond other issues in their lives?
Without getting into issues more appropriate for the Simple Politics Forum - I've been engaging in a great deal of activism against the recent family separation policies at the US Border and also against the Mesa, Arizona PD. My body is really run down and I'm utterly exhausted. I managed to switch with someone to get today off and I'm going to take a very easy day today and see how I feel tomorrow.
On the one hand I feel guilty unplugging as there is so much injustice going on out there now under the this Administration - on the other hand, I really am run down and having health issues as a result thereof is not going to help me engage in my life purpose of activism against issues such as those already mentioned.
So my question is - when do you personally draw the line? And put yourself first, unplug, or engage in whatever self care you might engage in? Rob
If you are not well, you have little to give and will continue to get worse. Take the time off you need to be fully well whether that is 1 day or 7 days.
Time to unplug, I'd say. Let go of thinking you can save the whole world. I know you want to do so. But, remember the saying about filling the well. If the well is dry, no good happens and right now you need to fill the well with whatever healing is needed, rest, food, isolation, disengagement. Then you may be ready to take on the world at a pace that keeps you healthy.
I think you need balance. I know that you are getting back into Catholicism and one of my very favorite Catholic writers is Richard Rohr, who runs the Center for Action and Contemplation in Albuquerque. I think most of the great activists in history have come from a place of contemplation and silence. You have to recharge your batteries and connect with whatever your higher power is in order to be able to achieve what you want out in the world.
So if you are feeling burnt out, you must step back and recharge. It's about physical health and spiritual health.
https://cac.org
My life is really busy, and if I wear myself out too much I end up with asthma flare ups. So for me, I donate to the ACLU instead of donating my time.
I understand, heck I just had a breakdown. I had to stop a lot of things that are very important coming in my email and my facebook feed because I simply can't handle them right now. I feel so strongly that I need to be part of the solution, however long time activists need to take breaks. Maybe just a short time like a week to turn off everything, I hear that a big protest is on the 30th so to jump back in then. I always suggest a meditation type retreat or day, but a massage or something else comforting. My friend's husband just wanted a pedicure for Father's day, I have ticklish feet but I think that could be good too.
Do what you can; allot yourself ten minutes and make phone calls; write letters. I can't gather or march at this point, but I have money to donate, and I can email and call. Put yourself first with the idea that if you don't, you'll be unable to contribute at all. I salute you for doing as much as you have.
Sad Eyed Lady
6-20-18, 9:50am
You draw the line when your body/mind tells you you need to. Listen to that message. Rest.
Gardenarian
6-20-18, 10:34am
My personal limit is when I stop feeling the simple joy of being alive.
If I go outside and don't feel grateful for the fresh air, the sun on my face, the sounds of the birds, then I know I have to step back.
Thanks for Richard Rohr...You suggested it several years ago and I followed up. It's made a huge difference in my life.
I saw this quote recently and it certainly applies to health matters - "Life gives you messages, and if you don't heed the message, you'll get a lesson. If you don't heed the lesson, you're sure to get a problem, and if you don't handle the problem, you'll get a full blown crisis."
I remember a spiritual teacher once said, if you can't do the work, God will raise up someone else to do it.
So pass the torch for awhile. Listen to your body. Take a breather. Recharge.
Then go back when you are ready.
iris lilies
6-20-18, 3:57pm
Do you REALLY think anyone here is going to urge you to push your body into ill health?
gimmethesimplelife
6-20-18, 4:35pm
Do you REALLY think anyone here is going to urge you to push your body into ill health?IL, with all due respect, that was not the gist of my question/post. Rob
I think you can’t as effectively and efficiently provide aid to others if you yourself are burning out/injured/ill.
Long term, you will produce more net good if you take care of yourself.
Chicken lady
6-20-18, 6:04pm
I draw the line when I simply cannot get out of bed. when I find myself lying on the floor crying. When I haven’t slept for so long I am hallucinating. Clearly, I need better lines. So, before that. Draw the line before that.
Rob, I would go with what Catherine and Jane said--you need more balance in your life; your stress and tiredness reflect imbalance. (I know mine do!) And like Jane said, do something for 10 minutes a day--20 if 10 seems too short, and then let it go, and concentrate on feeling better in mind, body, and spirit. Try to get your energy back in balance--but I like what Jane said, to pick something and do it for 10 minutes a day.
With the signing of the executive order I think you can take a breather.
With the signing of the executive order I think you can take a breather.
No. It’s a smokescreen.
Teacher Terry
6-20-18, 11:06pm
Rob, I have been active to but now on vacation. Still checking news but can’t attend protests. Take care of yourself so you can fight another day. My husband said I was talking in my sleep and having a horrible dream about the kids and the holocaust so know it is really affecting me too.
iris lilies
6-21-18, 8:45am
No. It’s a smokescreen.
Do tell! What comes next?
Chicken lady
6-21-18, 9:05am
Next they invoke the “as facilities are available” part to continue separations, because There are simply not enough facilities available. The executive order is contingent on funding and implementation, which I think we will see slow walked at best. More likely I think we will see any funding for family facilities tied to funding for the wall and then Trump will yell that Democrats don’t want to fund family centers, so we have no way to keep these children with their parents.
Also, courts are likely to rule that executive order or no executive order, you still can’t hold these kids for more than 20 days - so off they go to “care”. I’m not implying they won’t get care, i’m saying that in my eyes, the care they will get is functionally indistinguishable from the “care” they will get “incarcerated” in a family friendly facility. Even really good foster care is not better than a well run internment camp WITH your own loving parents.
my conservative dh said out loud this morning “I wonder what would happen if we just opened the border?” Putting me in the position of explaining why that was a bad idea. But there are points....
Again, we are experiencing a drop in population. It wouldn't hurt us to take in an expanded number of guest workers, refugees, and immigrants. This is a country that--if it ever was great--was made so by the sweat and zeal of people from all over the world. I hope the monies flowing in now to various legal charities can facilitate reuniting these terrorized (and drugged, apparently) children with their parents--who were just trying to save their lives--ASAP. This flagrant xenophobia, promoted by Trump, Miller, Gorka, and Bannon, is sickening to me; I hope they rot in hell. The sooner the better.
My sister in law and nephew both just posted that these are necessary because parents are criminals and that it is fake news that it is happening. My nephew said that criminals get their children taken away after all, yet I know that the justicedepartment system tries to keep kids with at least one family member, offer bail, something to avoid this.
Teacher Terry
6-21-18, 11:47am
Jane, I agree with you 100%.
ApatheticNoMore
6-21-18, 12:14pm
The problem is an increase or drop in national population doesn't actually matter as it all depends on where the population is centered. The overwhelming trend is for urbanization and it's global. But our urban centers are actually not well served by increase in population and will just eventually become massive urban slums (one might cynically quip: "if they aren't already", but it can definitely get worse, it's not full favela mode quite yet). 1) the housing isn't there - hence homeless. Yes, some homeless have other problems, but it's pretty well established some places that the major cause of homelessness is just housing hasn't kept up with population increases period 2) the infrastructure like transportation infrastructure etc. isn't there. Urban centers are increasingly where people must go for any economic opportunity at all, but are increasingly unaffordable to live in, and this is happening in lots and lots of places in the U.S. - more population is only going to make things worse.
Ok in some (or maybe all depending on the resource!) parts of the country the natural resources aren't there either. For instance in anywhere southwest the water isn't there etc. but that one isn't all about urbanization and isn't new, it's just made worse by increasing population.
Yes, Apathetic No More, but a whole lot of us will be dying off soon, Millennials don't seem eager to reproduce, and this country is vast. We can absorb lots more immigrants than we allow in without breaking a sweat. And I imagine new eyes could even solve some of our pressing problems, if we let them.
There are probably many sides to all of the news we are hearing...as with most media news these days. We usually get the sensational side of a story and the details are left out. Leaving the separating of children aside (which I don't agree with), how are all the asylum seekers/immigrants to be supported? Housing, medical, healthcare etc. Why do they flock to the US? Does Mexico not allow them there? My older brother was a border patrolman who tracked "illegals" and drug-runners for years. He had many stories to tell about their intentions and motivations for crossing the border. I grew up in South Texas. Ditto the stories so best not to air my opinions. Many if not most of those who are detained and given a court date never show up and simply disappear - as they have always done. I do feel like this is a situation that was allowed to continue for decades without addressing and will now be impossible to "fix".
Teacher Terry
6-21-18, 1:46pm
It is not safe in many places in Mexico. Crops are rotting in the fields with not enough workers to pick them. We have jobs for immigrants that others aren’t willing to do. Immigrants will share apartments with others and pool their resources to make it financially like they always have done.
gimmethesimplelife
6-21-18, 5:21pm
Thank You everyone for your replies. I am reading them over and reflecting upon them, each and every one. Today I am also off - took a sick day - and will be going back into work tomorrow. Feeling a little better today and am drinking some Mexican herbal tea that is reputed to help with burnout. No cure but I do feel a little better today and I'll take that.
As for activism today, I made two calls to the Mesa, AZ police department and I sent the office of the Prime Minister of Canada an email (realizing of course that my email will never get anywhere near Justin Trudeau) thanking the PM for leading a country that borders that US that is saner and better run and an example of what America might one day hope to aspire to. I've been meaning to send that email off for a long time and today I thought - why not, especially since this is a positive email.
Taking the bulk of the day easy, doing housework and yard work later once the sun goes down a bit (There's an excessive heat watch out today for metro Phoenix).....definitely I realize I need to temper my activism with some balance, though. Rob
Rob, It's hard to cut back when you've been doing it so long and passionately. good for you for realizing you need to temper the activities and that doesn't mean you have quit or shirked.
Gardenarian
6-22-18, 4:30am
Rob,
You never know about that email to Trudeau - I wrote to my Senator and received a thoughtful and clearly personal reply. Yes, I was shocked!
Teacher Terry
6-22-18, 10:11am
In Nevada our representatives ignore us and actually hide out when people come to their office. These clowns can’t be gone soon enough.
Next they invoke the “as facilities are available” part to continue separations, because There are simply not enough facilities available. The executive order is contingent on funding and implementation, which I think we will see slow walked at best. More likely I think we will see any funding for family facilities tied to funding for the wall and then Trump will yell that Democrats don’t want to fund family centers, so we have no way to keep these children with their parents.
Also, courts are likely to rule that executive order or no executive order, you still can’t hold these kids for more than 20 days - so off they go to “care”. I’m not implying they won’t get care, i’m saying that in my eyes, the care they will get is functionally indistinguishable from the “care” they will get “incarcerated” in a family friendly facility. Even really good foster care is not better than a well run internment camp WITH your own loving parents. ..
It was discussed on NPR yesterday. Turns out there are only 300 judges to handle 800,000 immigration processing requests. (that's for all immigration, not just those at the border seeking asylum.)
If you are an unaccompanied minor separated from their parents it's even worse. After a stint in the facilities a child is sent to foster care, which is administered by that particular state. Claims are taking 2 years to 4 years to process, so you as a child are in foster care all of that time. In the meantime if the parent is deported, they cannot appear at the hearing, so odds are they won't see their child again because they have no means of intervening and retrieving them.
The speaker was experienced with the immigration system and agreed with you Chicken Lady that it's underfunded in every aspect.
Forgot to add: another program had speakers who discussed how a great percentage of these facilities have been privatized, which of course leads to greater cost. Can we be surprised that housing for potential immigrants is a for-profit venture?
Here's a good article that was posted on another web forum:
https://www.texasmonthly.com/news/whats-really-happening-asylum-seeking-families-separated/
Sorry to derail this thread - Rob, good for you for taking some sick time to help keep your body and mind healthy. It's more important than ever now.
gimmethesimplelife
6-22-18, 4:43pm
Forgot to add: another program had speakers who discussed how a great percentage of these facilities have been privatized, which of course leads to greater cost. Can we be surprised that housing for potential immigrants is a for-profit venture?
Here's a good article that was posted on another web forum:
https://www.texasmonthly.com/news/whats-really-happening-asylum-seeking-families-separated/
Sorry to derail this thread - Rob, good for you for taking some sick time to help keep your body and mind healthy. It's more important than ever now.Thank You, Lainey. And I agree.....it is very important to take time for yourself and keep your mind and body healthy. And to unplug when it's indicated/needed. Rob
gimmethesimplelife
6-22-18, 4:47pm
Doing better today, went into work and things are going well so far. I am going right home after work and am going to unplug for the night......I've made no commitments to activism today and there are people in the neighborhood that are going off to a protest tonight. I refuse to feel bad for not joining them.....if I run myself into the ground I'm of no use to anyone - truer words rarely spoken.
I personally find these days very trying....something about the families being separated at the border struck me viscerally at a level I'm not often struck at. This won't be going away or healing soon but I can keep myself working and keep my home life up and my faith up. As I heal I can reintegrate other issues into my life but right now I need to stand back for a breather........Rob
Teacher Terry
6-22-18, 11:24pm
Rob, I decided that when I am having nightmares about the situation I need a break too. Not watching much news on this long vacation. You can only fight injustice when you are healthy enough to do so.
And one of the child detention facilities is an adoption agency owned by the DeVoss family. https://www.wzzm13.com/article/news/local/michigan/bethany-christian-services-providing-foster-homes-for-81-children-due-to-border-crisis/69-565745151
[QUOTE=gimmethesimplelife;300131
I personally find these days very trying....something about the families being separated at the border struck me viscerally at a level I'm not often struck at. This won't be going away or healing soon but I can keep myself working and keep my home life up and my faith up. As I heal I can reintegrate other issues into my life but right now I need to stand back for a breather........Rob[/QUOTE]
It has struck me too, and partially because I always thought there was a point where the differing sides could come together and just say no. However people in my family are supporting this, at least supporting that we shouldn't be picking on Trump anymore. It really scares me, and heck I just had a breakdown so I recommend taking care of yourself of course.
Teacher Terry
6-24-18, 3:01pm
Devon’s, will probably adopt out the kids. Although, they are probably getting richer warehousing the kids.
ToomuchStuff
6-27-18, 12:41am
Well, I am looking at quitting, as putting my health first since I have been working 65 hours a week for 5, and now am on 80 hours a week, with the expectation that I may be asked to work an extra 30 on top of that next week.
Lost a full time person, who tried to get the owners to retire and give him the place (stepkid). Then one of the owners went down for medical, leaving me and the somewhat disabled co owner to run the place with part time help (that are working full time and not happy about it). That owner is going down (own medical issues), and they are putting me potentially in that same shape or HIGH risk of heart attack (been feeling chest issues today, due to stress).
I need to try to make it to Monday, because we may have to close.
In 1977, my husband's job required him to work 6 months without one single day off. Long story about a financial package installation. He made a lot of money but it was not worth his health and there was no end in sight. We jumped at a chance and moved across the country to get away from that job.
The key here was the no end in sight. Short term pain for long term gain is doable. But the treadmill is a killer.
The key here was the no end in sight. Short term pain for long term gain is doable. But the treadmill is a killer.
Absolutely. One day, after being on that treadmill for months with no end in sight, I found myself crying at my desk for no reason, so I quit the next week.
ToomuchStuff
6-28-18, 1:17am
In 1977, my husband's job required him to work 6 months without one single day off. Long story about a financial package installation. He made a lot of money but it was not worth his health and there was no end in sight. We jumped at a chance and moved across the country to get away from that job.
The key here was the no end in sight. Short term pain for long term gain is doable. But the treadmill is a killer.
I understand that. Years ago, I worked two jobs, seven days a week, for 362 days a year (off Christmas day, Thanksgiving and Easter), but it was less work as there was some down time. Did my thirteen hour day today, and back at 7am tomorrow for the 14 hour one.
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