saw my counselor, different prespective

[Zoe Girl]

I have been focusing the last couple days on my responsibility in all the disaster of the last school year, feeling some regret for the things I did wrong (especially ones that weren't too hard to get right) etc. So the counselor kept on coming back to that my department and district have responsibility for how he has been treating me and our poor communication skills. He really emphasized that I was spending a lot of time on my own mistakes and taking too much on myself. Well that was interesting and good. He didn't want to spend too much time about how I was triggered, and told me that it may cause larger reactions but many of my reactions seemed also reasonable.

So then I talked briefly to my friend who quit, mostly about cars and stuff since she left she doesn't need to hear about this. I did mention the counselor's focus and she exclaimed that her mother has been telling her that this needs to be brought to someone's attention and addressed. Oh yeah, she texted our supervisor about her end of year review and he said she will get it when it is done. Seriously! We had to have ours done, presented to staff 24 hours before our meeting, discussed and confirmed in the computer HR system by the middle of May. But I am on a leave so I don't need to care,

I did buy some cute pants for summer interviews. I had all heavier clothes for interviews. They are white pants with little black dots. I was going to get a silky black top, do you think I would need a jacket for an interview in education?

[iris lilies]

zG it is ok to feel a little bit of regret for your own hand in the mess because no one is blameless.

But—just dont dwell on it, and dont blow your own errors up into something huge in your mind. You made some mistakes, you are human, move on. I realize this is easier said than done, but this is what counseling and drugs are for, to help you relax focus on your own error and/or the errors of others.

It isnt a zero sum game where if you are right they are wrong, and vice verse.

About your boss’ response to your friend’s review: When I worked, it was common for managers at my level to be required to complete performance reviews for all of our staff, but our boss didnt complete our own performance reviews. I think
I went 4-5years without a performance review despite our personnel manual saying one must be completed for each employee every year. These situations are common, higher level staff arent held to the same rules. That is just the perks of working at higher levels.

[Chicken lady]

Hands-on or admin? If it’s admin - get the jacket.

I’m glad you are getting validation.

[Zoe Girl]

Yes Iris, however he is middle enough to be held to the some strict deadlines. I may reach out to my one supervisor friend and ask when they are due. I am not looking forward to mine, sigh.

I have one jacket but it won't go with this style, so I will look for a jacket.


Oh yeah, the counselor understood why I might not want to defend myself against everything however when I said it was too late he wanted to know why.

[Zoe Girl]

https://www.macys.com/shop/product/kasper-kiss-front-jacket?ID=5713028&CategoryID=91109#fn=GENDER%3DWomen%26JACKET_STYLE% 3DBlazer%26SIZE%3D%26sp%3D1%26spc%3D1806%26ruleId% 3D106%26searchPass%3DexactMultiMatch%26slotId%3D26

How does this jacket look,

[mschrisgo2]

That is a very cute jacket!

I don't understand your comment about "I'm not looking forward to mine" Evaluation? Why would you even see it? You are not seriously going back to work there, are you?

[Zoe Girl]

Yes i am planning on going back until i have something else, i need a job after all and haven't found one yet. Going to keep up with medication and counseling which should both help surviving in the meantime

[Tammy]

Even if you return briefly until you find another job, you shouldn’t even pay attention to your review. Go through the motions and ignore it.

[iris lilies]

Even if you return briefly until you find another job, you shouldn’t even pay attention to your review. Go through the motions and ignore it.
Agreed.

[rosarugosa]

I like the jacket.

[razz]

I like the jacket.
I do, too.

[Tybee]

Glad your counselor is helping you focus on how this situation is not meeting your needs. Have you discussed job searching with him yet?
Personally, I have to have pockets in a jacket or pants.

[catherine]

Great jacket. Perfect. Not too formal, but clean and tailored looking.

Because I'm in business, I was surprised when you even asked the question about "should I wear a jacket"--In work settings I always "dress for success" in the sense of being cognizant that what you wear says a lot about you. So even if you aren't in business and can get away without jackets in interviews, make sure your outfit says "Disciplined" "Capable" "Dedicated."

For instance, when I moderate interviews, I don't have to dress up, because the respondents come to interviews in casual clothes. But clients come to watch, and I do a reverse Tiger Woods (he always wears red the last day of golf tournaments). The first day of research, especially if I haven't met the clients, I ALWAYS wear red. A red shirt, a red sweater. Anything red.

So, I think the white pants with little black dots are fine, as long as they're not polka dots, which can look juvenile.

[Zoe Girl]

Great thank you, I am in education which sometimes seems more informal. On a daily basis my principal wears nice jeans and chuck taylors. So I also don't want to look like I am seeking something more than the job offers. I never see any of our admin wear more than a structured sweater, and the superintendent often wears jeans.

I see how my department is obsessed with accountability, especially towards my colleagues and I. But very light on actual support.

[Tybee]

Is this too funereal?:

https://www.jjill.com/product/wearever-v-neck-jacket?color=780

Honestly, lately when I am looking for a work type outfit or wedding or something I go to ebay and look for Flax, as they work with everything, can go up and down, and I get them for under 50 dollars. But they are used.

I just looked and found this:

https://www.ebay.com/itm/221244820833

it comes in other colors but I bought the yellowish one--this is not a good thread for me to be on, I guess.