View Full Version : Social Media and Mental Illness
Taking another break from my busy day and I wanted to put this out there for thought and discussion. I've avoided social media pretty successfully for a few reasons: strained family-of-origin relationships, a desire to avoid the comparison (and resulting envy/resentment/lust) that these platforms engender, and the awareness that for someone who suffers from mental illness this could lead to some dangerous territory. In many ways, I feel that social media brings us emotionally back to high school with an unhealthy obsession over likes, attention, etc. And an unhealthy need for instant gratification. There have been many studies and reports of social media use correlating to feelings of loneliness and depression. I don't need any more of that, thank you very much.
But..... there is also the cost of not being on social media. Isolation is a big one.
I don't really know where the cost/benefit situation is at this point. Am I being wisely cautious or overly cautious? Don't know.
Would love to hear other people's points of view on this. If you struggle with depression/mental illness/compulsive behavior or addiction (or know someone who does), I would especially appreciate hearing your opinion and experience on this.
I sometimes wonder if putting myself on social media would be the equivalent of putting an extroverted recovering alcoholic in a bar every day. The potential for damage would be substantial. But that's where all your friends and family are. How do you maintain your relationships, and fulfill your need for connection, without hurting yourself?
Social media participation is terrible for my wife's depression. She can get lost in mindlessly surfing it all day long. She has to consciously ration herself, or it ends poorly.
I have (currently) significant mental health issues. Doesn't feel good to say that. I am careful about social media but definitely am engaged in at least facebook. I did NOT put it one my new phone however. That means on work days i can check it twice generally. Weekends i need to be more aware.
For me a big part of it is why i am on there, and who do i follow. I dont actually follow a lot of my friends. However i am an admin for several buddhist groups and keep an eye on the pages, answer questions aboutthe meetings, delete crap, and approve requests.
I think i was able to not engage so much with comparison a few years ago when i heard enough real life stories of people posting happy things. Sometimes they needed that one happy post to get them through,
What is it you would want from social media?
I was instructed by a niece nearly 10y ago that she would not print/mail photos of the kids anymore. If I want to see them, I have to get a FB account. So I did. I still have just over 100 friends....most invites I ignore. However, it does enable me to keep up with family spread across 4 states. Some of whom I only see once every 5 years!
You could do a 90 day trial? Create an account. Be selective in who you invite to friend. And b super selective on the invites you accept from others who find you.
The other option is to remain FB free. There's nothing wrong with that! You know yourself best!
bae - thank you for sharing that. It's exactly what I'm afraid of. I suffer from anxiety and depression and it just seems like the way social media works, it would amplify both of those conditions.
Zoe Girl - I've struggled for a long time in accepting my own mental health issues. It's not easy. I was thinking how in the animal world, animals do not show pain because it would make them vulnerable. I think we humans unconsciously do the same thing. For a long time I've kinda fought my condition but lately I've been working on acceptance. I was listening to a podcast (Linehan, I think) and she said that you cannot change what you do not accept, that acceptance must come first. It was very interesting. I was once on an online class and a classmate shared that she was really struggling with suicidal thoughts, yet was being very vigilant to maintain a very "happy" facade on facebook. The cognitive dissonance in that really struck me - it would be exhausting to maintain a happy facade all the time. It seems to me that it's difficult to mentally disconnect from social media once you are on it. Right now I can go days, even a week or more, without turning on my computer, and I hardly ever use my phone.
Gardnr - that is an excellent question. If I'm honest, what I want is a feeling of authentic connection. But I don't know if social media can provide that. And if I'm being really honest, I don't know if I can have that even in real life. Part of my mental health issues is a fear of vulnerability. Sometimes I think that social media will make it easier to connect and therefore be less scary. And then I think that it will actually be more scary because I'll feel like I'm exposed for the whole world to see.
ApatheticNoMore
7-7-18, 3:14am
i wonder if the constant search for external feedback is why social media depresses people, it's all extrinsic rewards (the likes). And yea chasing after those external rewards is part of life heaven knows, but it doesn't have to be such a large part of our hobbies for lack of a better word.
I don't know, honestly my experiences with social media were just weird, and so while there might be some benefit to a network (and that's a more accurate way to put it than saying "friends") ... it didn't much suit me either.
One part of why it works for me is i never count my likes as part of validation. It is interesting to see what posts get likes or are not noticed, but i know there are many times i see something and don't comment also. I can see how that would be affecting people negatively.
Now my newsletter i get focused on
This is clarifying some confusion for me a little.
To me, FB is just a tool that I use when I want to check something on a site that advertises on FB. I don't use it for anything else. I didn't realize that users were finding validation or external satisfaction of basic emotional needs. That was why I didn't understand the attraction or the reliance on it for news, etc .
I wonder if this disconnect of mine is common or if I am out of sync with society's use of social media. It is just a tool like a spatula or wooden spoon unless we give it more power over our lives and our thinking. It has no power of its own.
iris lilies
7-7-18, 8:58am
This is clarifying some confusion for me a little.
To me, FB is just a tool that I use when I want to check something on a site that advertises on FB. I don't use it for anything else. I didn't realize that users were finding validation or external satisfaction of basic emotional needs. That was why I didn't understand the attraction or the reliance on it for news, etc .
I wonder if this disconnect of mine is common or if I am out of sync with society's use of social media. It is just a tool like a spatula or wooden spoon unless we give it more power over our lives and our thinking. It has no power of its own.
I dont understand getting “news” from FB. I dont get news sources unles you count postings about iris, lilies, and bulldogs as “ news.”
I dont understand getting “news” from FB.
A number of my FB friends post links to news on other sites. I also belong to a townwide group, where news about town meetings, accidents etc is posted.
I get news from Reuters, Al Jazeera, local sources, and others on my FB feed. Of course, FB is just one news provider among many.
what I want is a feeling of authentic connection. But I don't know if social media can provide that. And if I'm being really honest, I don't know if I can have that even in real life. Part of my mental health issues is a fear of vulnerability. Sometimes I think that social media will make it easier to connect and therefore be less scary. And then I think that it will actually be more scary because I'll feel like I'm exposed for the whole world to see.
My contention (for years; here and elsewhere) is that technology is merely an amplifier. If you were going to do it anyway, technology generally makes it easier to do. I really don't know anyone who became a chatterbox only after someone handed them a mobile phone or any deep introvert who amassed several hundred friends on Facebook and became a posting "machine". Can one's Pinterest or Instagram feed generate followers in numbers you never expected? Depending on how you set your privacy settings on those sites, yeah. But, again, that's an amplification effect; people are inteested in what you're doing and/or who you are. They're not following you because you have a cool user name.
I do believe tech -- and, particularly, social media -- needs to be managed. After years on Facebook I have fewer than 100 Friends. New friend requests are evaluated carefully: I "friended" my neighbor's new wife; I see her in the backyard more days than not. I am not "friending" the woman I knew of in high school and with whom I haven't had a conversation in the ensuing 40 years. Sometimes I prune my Friends list of people who no longer post or who, like other friends in "real" life, no longer maintain that friendship. Sometimes I "mute" friends who are off on a jag I care nothing about. I don't click on the ads or the news items.
I have a Facebook account and a Twitter account (used by far for instant updates more than anything else). No Pinterest, no Instagram, no YouTube, no Foursquare; nothing else. I don't want to manage all of that so I don't. I can't remember the last time I used the Twitter app on my phone and I don't keep the Fb app running, either. At the same time, it's nice to see pictures from one of my friends who is in France for a milestone birthday; we'll likely talk about them when we next see each other. And it's nice to catch up with cousins who are a thousand miles away and to do that at 6 am or 11:30 pm or whenever I have the time. I don't miss the invitations to someone's house to see all 534 pictures they took at their kid's birthday party or the phone calls that you can time with a calendar.
If you're the kind of person who can't stop at one potato chip when that's all you said you wanted; if you're the kind of person who easily finds himself/herself in a reinforcement loop (Likes for posts, lots of stuff in your Timeline that just makes you feel more angry/sad/lonely/poor/competitive/whatever), then being on social media is not the highest use of your time and emotional energy.
I know relatives who change their username to something obscure and just "creep" on Fb to see the baby pictures and vacation postings of others; they don't "Like" or comment on posts and don't join groups so they stay pretty much under the radar. Maybe that could work as a middle ground. But that is up to you, who knows yourself and who knows what alternatives you have to staying connected without social media.
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I know relatives who change their username to something obscure and just "creep" on Fb to see the baby pictures and vacation postings of others; they don't "Like" or comment on posts and don't join groups so they stay pretty much under the radar. Maybe that could work as a middle ground. But that is up to you, who knows yourself and who knows what alternatives you have to staying connected without social media.
That's me. I don't have a single friend on FB even though several of my friends have accounts. I may have to friend them to maintain my standing if FB clamps down. I'm just there for groups, news, and cat videos. :~)
I had my students do an experiment in one of my psych classes, to spend twenty minutes on three Internet sites, something neutral, like a college library information site, something hobby oriented, like Pintarest, and something that would constitute social media--most chose Facebook. As I recall, close to 100% of the students reported "anxiety" and "irritation" after the twenty minutes on Facebook.
The never-ending quality of a site like Facebook or even this one encourages one to keep reading to "find out what happens" but you ever can, and it also encourages a lot of negative behaviors such as "having the last word."
So I vote against social media as being a negative for everyone's mental health.
There is certainly anecdotal evidence from clinicians that Facebook increases depression and can trigger it.
So I do stay completely away from Facebook. After reading Tradd's post today about the job offer being rescinded over the Facebook diving picture, I think staying away completely from Facebook makes other kinds of sense as well.
I'm not on any social media and never have been. I don't get the draw but understand that others really value it and the connections they gain from it.
Simplemind
7-7-18, 11:59am
I guess it depends on what you consider social media. I consider this site social media just as much as FB. I enjoy it and don't understand when users think of it as negative when you decide where to go and what you see. I have friended people on FB but I avoid those that are negative or constantly posting politics or jump on others pages to stir the pot. I had so much negativity on my job that I use mine to post things that are positive and fun to me. I mostly use it to follow news sources or special interest groups such as gardening, koi ponds, watercolors, grief support etc. It is what you make of it which is why I stay on the sunny side of the street.
What keeps running through my mind is that in social media, we are the product that is being sold. When you look at how sophisticated and effective advertising is in manipulating our brains for economic gain in terms of spending, you have to wonder how much more effective and insidious the manipulation is when our brains and our eyeballs are the things that are being presented as offerings to advertisers by the companies who present us with these "free!" social media sites. I know that I'm gullible and easily taken advantage of in real life by people with agendas, so I'm certainly no match for a company that spends and makes millions (billions?) in the use of humans as product.
iris lilies
7-7-18, 12:38pm
I guess it depends on what you consider social media. I consider this site social media just as much as FB. I enjoy it and don't understand when users think of it as negative when you decide where to go and what you see. I have friended people on FB but I avoid those that are negative or constantly posting politics or jump on others pages to stir the pot. I had so much negativity on my job that I use mine to post things that are positive and fun to me. I mostly use it to follow news sources or special interest groups such as gardening, koi ponds, watercolors, grief support etc. It is what you make of it which is why I stay on the sunny side of the street.
Oh, this site and other forums are definately time wasting, addictive social media. I cant spend much time on FB because the content is basically boring. It is tiny snippets of info that is consumed in a second, along with a pretty or a funny image. Ok, got it, doesnt take long.
I can, and do, spend crap tons of time on forums like ths one. Sadly.
Of course, not everyone is going to have a problem, just like not everyone becomes an alcoholic or drug addict. In high school I tried alcohol, cigarettes, marijuana, and cocaine, and became addicted to none of it. Everything except alcohol was a one time thing and I have no desire to ever try any of it again, and I can go years without alcohol without any problem. In my 20's I began to use food as a soothing mechanism, and for whatever reason, that one became my addictive substance. To this day, I battle with emotional eating. I've gotten to where it's not a compulsive thing anymore, but it's still a hard habit to break after 3 decades of using it as my default coping mechanism.
My fear is that social media will be like food has been and that once I become hooked it will be near impossible to break. But I'm wondering if I should just try it and find out once and for all. I've tried setting up a facebook account in the past and the whole thing just feels exhausting and boring. The "curating" of it all and the fakeness of it. So much energy output. So maybe I won't have a problem and all this angst and teeth-gnashing is for naught. Something to consider.
The main reason I am considering it is to stay in touch with my family, which is quite large but which I've been estranged from for a while. It's for the personal connections, rather than news or hobby groups. And for me, the fact that it's personal connections is what makes it feel more complicated and dangerous because that is where my vulnerability and weaknesses are.
iris lilies
7-7-18, 1:53pm
I truly dont u derstand what is fake about FB posts, but then, I just clue in to iris, lilies, and bulldog posts. Well, a few political and life posts are ok. i enjoy my brother's posts which happen infrequently.
I do see more images of fancy vacations and deep, thoughtful and woke commentary on our unjust society on Insta, but that has more to do with the posters than the medium. I watch a few Insta posters regularly because they are full of themselves, they are enjoyable in that regard.
I think I might have around 20 friends on FB - it has never appealed to me and I might look at it a couple of times a week at most. I enjoy seeing updates from family but don't get the compulsion to post photos of where you are and what you are doing at every turn. I have one relative who must be on it all day long posting every conceivable thing that strikes her fancy. I am discovering that some of the groups are very helpful - in my case, a local gardening group.
ApatheticNoMore
7-7-18, 2:06pm
Some things are deliberately designed to be addictive so one should not fault themselves too much for being so. Processed food like potato chips are deliberately designed to be addictive. So maybe someone somewhere is addicted to a less manipulated food like I don't know blue cheese or something and binges on that too. Ok, and maybe they should avoid blue cheese then, but when dealing with things deliberately designed to be addictive one is playing a really rigged game as far as willpower is concerned. One can control it by avoiding the manipulating things or if one is able to (and for many things one might not be able to) by rationing them (only getting potato chips on july 4th say and if one eats the whole bag - oh well it's one day). Another example would be slot machines. They are deliberately designed to be addictive, in fact the whole vegas etc. experience is. And another example would be social media. We are dealing at the level of deliberate design to hook people. It's not that people don't get hooked on less designed things, on alcohol from rotting grapes rather than just lab designed drugs but ... the designed to hook you stuff can be seen as "supernormal stimulus" and often does.
Geila, one important use for me is staying in touch with family that I would never call or send a letter/email to. It is great to see pictures of the family and the kids growing and see what they are doing. And I have met someone in person I would have never met.
I take care of our local meditation group, and several people have moved away but stay in contact through the group or friending some of us. One person had been saying he was coming to the area so I hoped he would be able to attend. Meanwhile we had our facilitators meeting before the meeting started at a Starbucks around the corner. I was meeting and someone came up and just asked, 'are you ZG', well yes I am. I guess the white hair helps me be extra recognizable. So we sat and talked before the meeting and it was awesome. I am glad if a random person recognized me it was someone very nice and known to our group.
I love facebook to keep up with my brothers. Otherwise, we would just never communicate. I also like joining quilting groups and the give and take of new ideas and especially photos. But I have no problem unfollowing (either temporary or permanent) or even totally unfriending people who post distasteful material. I want to keep my page a happy place for me. I do not do games, quizes, shares of old info, or other junk.
It can be addictive if you let it but it is controllable.
Question for those of you who have no problem setting boundaries or resisting the addictive aspects of social media:
Do you suffer from any mental illness or disorder, addiction, or compulsive behaviors?
Because I'm curious to see how that would skew the individual results and experiences. When I read responses from those of you who have no problems at all with the sites, I think maybe I can do it too. But part of accepting my mental illness is accepting the fact that my brain functions differently than someone who does not have mental illness.
Most people with one addiction are cross addicted. There is disagreement on whether the "addictive personality"
exists, but anecdotal evidence seems to support that idea. So yeah, if you struggle with any kind of addiction, you might be more inclined to become addicted to social media.
I dont have any diagnosed mental conditions. I am not very empathetic and as I have gotten older, I really don't care what others think of me. Since I am also retired, I don't have to uphold any work rules or dress codes.
No one should get on social media who has a thin skin. People can say the most hurtful things and hide behind their computer. Anyone heads in that direction on my page and I cut them out. My Facebook page = my rules.
Question for those of you who have no problem setting boundaries or resisting the addictive aspects of social media:
Do you suffer from any mental illness or disorder, addiction, or compulsive behaviors?
Am I telling you or is my DW? :D
Seriously, I have a touch of OCD and, right now, I'm trying to figure out if I'm suffering from a little depression (physiologically-induced or otherwise). Still no problem with social media.
But, again, I see technology as a tool. When I first bought a food processor, unlike many people I did not serve chopped and pureed entrees for a couple of weeks. A better TV than ours does not induce me to watch more TV or video. If you except sites like these, I have only two social media accounts. While sometimes technology requires us to bend to its limitations, in my life tech exists to serve me. And when it no longer does serve me, it's out of my life. But that's just me.
Reading the local newspaper article on teen suicide...apparently bullying and feelings of social ostracism on FB fans the flame for depressed young people.
I say know yourself, I have bipolar 2. Not too many addictive qualities however. At least they are managed by a lot of meditation over the years.
Thanks for the excellent discussion, everyone. I've decided that I will continue to avoid social media. I don't count this site, even though it technically is, because it's not addictive and it feels safe. My depression is in remission and I've structured my life in a way that anxiety rarely rears it's ugly head anymore. I don't want to jeopardize that. I've worked too long and too hard for it. If that means I feel socially isolated sometimes, I'm okay with that.
Life and relationships did exist before Facebook, after all! :)
My husband would tell you I'm addicted to facebook but really I've pretty much put every one I know on there as "unfollowed"....but I do get a lot of fun out of a gardening group on there.
messengerhot
7-27-18, 2:21am
I've read an article about how the use of social media, particularly for surveillance use, actually triggers (or aggravates existing) depression. The surveillance use is particularly interesting because there are a lot of people who aren't necessarily active in social media in terms of posting or sharing their thoughts and experiences but constantly uses social media as a way to "check on" how their friends are doing. This is where all the comparison, jealousy, and even self-pity is coming from. Sadly, more and more people experience this "isolation" amidst the seemingly endless "connection" that social media brings.
When I did a study with my psych students, we found this to be the case, even with people not suffering from depression.
Not a fan of Facebook, even sold my stock because I can't stand to profit from this.
gimmethesimplelife
7-27-18, 4:44pm
Interesting thread. It is not going to surprise anyone here that I'm a fan of social media - not after all my police brutality/download video of police behavior to social media posts. I have not thought about mental health issues surrounding social media before....I do have a Facebook Page and I do participate on FB, mostly to keep in touch with any number of people I've waited tables with........but I can see for some people there would be comparisons going on.
I guess it's not without it's dark side, too........like many other things. Rob
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