Pet driving me crazy...........

[CathyA]

We've had our dog for 15 years now. She was a stray that we kept. For a long time, we had to keep her on a leash, attached to some strong piece of furniture in order to keep her from going crazy and running everywhere in the house, and getting into trouble. She was probably about 4-6 months old when we found her. She has been a challenge to train, but it did get a little better. One of the biggest problems is that DH has never been able to discipline the dog or the children. I've done all that myself. I'm pretty consistent, but it all goes out the window when it isn't followed by DH.

We think she's probably a little, uh, well, uh, .....not real bright (or maybe the damage done to her when we found her wasn't very un-doable). But we've loved her all these years and have taken good care of her.
For a number of years, she had a cat friend that kept her company. But after the cat died, I just couldn't get another pet. I've taken care of pets of all sorts for a long time, and I just can't keep it up, after our dog is gone.

Her vision and hearing are bad, and I'm sure her brain isn't doing so hot either. She still has a fair amount of energy. She's on lots of meds for her gall bladder, thyroid, and her arthritis. We feed her good food.

Maybe it's just her old age, but she's driving me nuts. It's like having a toddler again. She whines to go out all the time, but as soon as she's outside, she barks to come in. I try to "wait it out"..........but she has more endurance than I have, and I don't want her to bark for hours. I also don't want to be mean to her. She's very insecure. She stays outside longer if we are out there with her. But lately, she's started to stand at the door and just stare........like she doesn't realize we are outside with her.......not inside.

In the house, she starts whining about 1 and 1/2 hours before meals, or when it's time for her meds (that she gets with a cucumber slice). She spends a lot of time just sitting there, staring at me.

I'm getting so frustrated. I really think a big part of the problem is that DH is never disciplined with her. He has essentially trained her to be like this.

I don't like my bad/frustrating feelings towards her now. I try to be loving to her. But dang........she drives me crazy. I think if she had another animal friend, it would help.........but I just don't have the energy for another pet.
Any suggestions? (I know, I know......I'm the one that needs a sedative.....haha)

[iris lily]

Our senior bulldog girl is doing a little of that, asking to go out far more often than she used to, then standing on the porch forgetting why she is out. Or maybe she is not forgetting, she just wants to be outside! In the hottest of hot weather! In the afternoon, she wants out to lie flat on the hot brick patio. What a doofus. I let her do that for about 3 minutes, then I make her come back into our house.

She is also asking for dinner at 4pm now. The earliest these dogs of mine eat is 5:30. She hangs out a while in her eating area, then gives up and walks back to her bed.

But she is easy, she is quiet and nice. It is such a relief that the elderly French Bulldogs we had are dead, they constantly yapped, nosy little beasts, ugh. Give me a big bulldog any day over the tiny yappers.

[Teacher Terry]

It sounds like dementia to me. We had a old dog that would get frantic at night and run into the walls, tip the food and water bowl, etc. We put her on Xanax. She had a ton of health issues and when the Xanax quit working we helped her to the rainbow bridge. You have given her a good long life and whatever you do at this point would be fine. Thanks for rescuing her.

[Tybee]

What Terry said. Our dog had that, demylenating something or other, basically, the vet called it--said it is dementia and related to demylenating brain neurons--like ms in the brain, I think--anyway, tangled neurons, and got to where he could not walk straight, had to be carried in and out, we put him down at age 14. It was very hard to do, very very hard. He was definitely suffering.

So sorry to hear that and my heart goes out to you.

[CathyA]

Thanks everyone. Yeah, I think for some, it comes with the age. (I know it does for me! I'm always walking into a room and haven't a clue why I'm there!)
Our fairly new vet is excellent......but I think he over-does many things. So I'm just trying to accept that it's probably old age and not try to "fix" everything all the time. I just need more compassion and patience I guess.
She's still pretty active, but with a lot of "senior moments". I'll try to be more patient.

[mschrisgo2]

You are her whole world.

If you wanted to give her a temporary companion, you could foster another dog or maybe a cat, for a shelter who is actively looking for a home for said foster, i.e. a guarantee that you won't have to keep it long term. Just a thought.

[SteveinMN]

It sounds like dementia to me.
Bingo! Our dog (never the brightest) had a couple of days around the 4th when she acted even less like a dog than usual -- didn't eat (usually she can't wait to eat); parked herself to nap in odd places in the house; even pooped in the house a few days. We took her to the vet just to make sure nothing was physiologically wrong and he confirmed the diagnosis of dementia. Sure enough, after two days, we had almost two full days of "regular dog" but today she was slow to eat and spends a lot of time outside before she poops (sorry; TMI, but it's a symptom). Like human dementia, it will come and go until it mostly stays and then it becomes a quality-of-life issue we'll need to deal with. :(

[pinkytoe]

I think it's just what happens when our pets (and some of our people) are closer to the end of their days. Dealing with an elderly pet has many of the same stresses as being a caretaker - especially if you don't have much help. I think our 16yo weiner dog went on like that for about a year bumping into walls, peeing on the floor, looking around like "where am I?". Eventually, we knew it was time to let her go...

[Gardnr]

This dog has lived with you for 15 years and now you want it to change behavior? It seriously isn't going to happen. You could get her the company you've identifed she misses or you could have it euthanized. Retraining is just not realistic.

[Teacher Terry]

Our dog with dementia peed all over the house. Thankfully we had no carpet. Her quality of life was still fine so I just kept on top of things. However, even though I miss her it was a relief when we let her go. Such a hard decision.

[CathyA]

This dog has lived with you for 15 years and now you want it to change behavior? It seriously isn't going to happen. You could get her the company you've identifed she misses or you could have it euthanized. Retraining is just not realistic.

I disagree that still training her a little isn't possible........but not if only one adult is sticking to the plan.
Also.......I would NEVER have her euthanized to make my life easier. Never. In fact, I won't euthanize, no matter what. That's just who I am.

I want to thank the others who have shared their feelings and experience with an older dog. It has let me "whine" a bit, and do some self-reflection, and I realize more now that I need to be more comforting and patient with my dog. I love her very much and the last thing I want to do, is be impatient or unsupportive with her in her remaining time here.

[Tybee]

Cathy, my guess is that training her is not possible because she probably has dementia, based on your description. That's just my opinion. And if you do not want another pet, you should not get one in hopes that it will soothe her. If she has dementia, she may not react the way she used to react and may just be confused or frightened by the change.

The staring and then not being sure why she wants out--that was my Aussie in his last year and a half.

I was so lucky that my last beloved terrier died at home last April--the vet sort of provided palliative care but I knew in my heart she was going. i was so lucky--she died with me holding on to her--she had obviously been trying to go for a couple of days. She was sick, had had a stroke, had to be carried in and out of the house--but we really cherished every minute with her and I was so fortunate that she did me that last favor and died on her bed in the kitchen.

[CathyA]

.....I was so lucky that my last beloved terrier died at home last April--the vet sort of provided palliative care but I knew in my heart she was going. i was so lucky--she died with me holding on to her--she had obviously been trying to go for a couple of days. She was sick, had had a stroke, had to be carried in and out of the house--but we really cherished every minute with her and I was so fortunate that she did me that last favor and died on her bed in the kitchen.

How beautiful that she died in probably what was her favorite place.

[Tybee]

It was a blessing that she died in a comfortable place on her own terms.

[pony mom]

I adopted an elderly dog two years ago. Last year she had learned sit and stay. Now, she needs to be guided with a treat to sit. She also wanders around the house aimlessly, tripping over anything in her path. And she gets stuck in corners, under kitchen chairs and gets confused as to which side of the door opens. But I expected these things when I adopted a 12-13ish year old dog.

I tried a few supplements; Cholodin has made her more perky. Animal Essentials Hawthorne herbal liquid has brought a wag to her tail. No change in her pacing and confusion, but she seems happier now, possibly a glimpse of what she was in her youth. It's a shame because she's really healthy and looks great for her age and she will probably have to be pts when her confusion is too much for her and she's scared of everything.

[Teacher Terry]

We are more humane to our animals than to people. Usually it is more humane to put a pet to sleep than let them die naturally. I have known a few instances where the pet died at home which is great but usually they need to be helped to the bridge. It is the last gift we give our babies. I don’t mean doing it because it is inconvenient but doing it when they are suffering. Always a tough call and my heart goes out to everyone faced with that decision.

[jp1]

She is also asking for dinner at 4pm now. The earliest these dogs of mine eat is 5:30. She hangs out a while in her eating area, then gives up and walks back to her bed.

B

That seems reasonable since people do the same thing. When I was growing up, and when I went to visit my folks as an adult, my parents always put dinner on the table at 5:30. On the dot. About 4 years after mom died dad moved himself to an assisted living facility where dinner was served from 4:30 to 6:00. Almost immediately he joined the walker traffic jam (although without a walker since he didn't need one) that started congregating at the door to the facility's dining room at around 4:15 every afternoon. There must be something about old age that inspires a desire to eat dinner earlier...

[iris lilies]

That seems reasonable since people do the same thing. When I was growing up, and when I went to visit my folks as an adult, my parents always put dinner on the table at 5:30. On the dot. About 4 years after mom died dad moved himself to an assisted living facility where dinner was served from 4:30 to 6:00. Almost immediately he joined the walker traffic jam (although without a walker since he didn't need one) that started congregating at the door to the facility's dining room at around 4:15 every afternoon. There must be something about old age that inspires a desire to eat dinner earlier...
Hahaha, yes,
I guess it is true. She is taking on the habitts of seniors.