View Full Version : Setting A Decluttering Goal in Units of Time Using Flylady's Timer Method - July 2018
Hi All,
I'm a teacher who is on a reduced schedule for about two months mid-December through mid-February and mid-June through mid-August. I also have a REALLY cluttered home. In the past, I've had some success with setting myself a goal of doing a certain number of hours of decluttering during my periods of reduced work. I set one overall goal (last winter and summer, it was 40 hours), then chip away at it in smaller increments of time. Some days I aim for an hour; others for four hours (with breaks!). I basically use flylady's timer method described here, but with longer periods of time than 15 minutes:
http://www.flylady.net/d/getting-sta...ng-15-minutes/ (http://www.flylady.net/d/getting-started/flying-lessons/decluttering-15-minutes/)
It's also helped me a lot to keep track of progress towards my goal here, so here I am setting up a new goal: to complete another 40 hours of decluttering in my house by Sunday, August 19.
If anybody else wants to join in with a decluttering goal of their own for a certain number of hours, I would love company!
I did my first hour yesterday. It was mostly unpacking from my trip and going through mail but since delaying these tasks often leads to the accumulation of clutter, I'm counting them.
Teacher Terry
7-12-18, 9:23am
Interesting that small chunks of time work better for some people. I do better when I use big chunks of time. It doesn’t really matter as long as it gets done. We are home on Sunday from a month of traveling so will need to rest for awhile. Then I will see if I can find more stuff to get rid of. Being in many people’s homes this month made me realize how little I have compared to many others. Not a minimalistic but have done a good job of paring down. Good luck on decluttering!
Teacher Terry, I think I'm realizing one reason I have such big clutter issues is because whenever I have moved into a new place, I have never taken the time necessary to figure out a place for everything right from the start. And then over the years, things accumulate because I don't have designated spots or systems for dealing with them.
So decluttering at my house takes a lot of thought because I have to figure out how to solve problems I've put off solving for a long time, and for me, knowing I have 1-2 hours to set up new systems or reorganize existing systems really helps. 15 minute timer sessions are too short for that type of thing.
I'm really trying to motivate myself to tackle my office and garage and not having much luck. I'd like to join in here and see if this helps. I usually prefer to do big chunks of time but I can't even get myself started.
Let me set a goal of 20 minutes per day and see if that helps.
I find setting the timer does help me focus. I'm amazed at how much I can get done in the 15 minutes. Of course, then I sit for the rest of the day!!! sometimes I just keep resetting the timer if I'm doing very well and am not too tired.
I think I'd like to try this. Fifteen min. at first....see if I'm successful, then maybe 20.
Welcome Geila, nswef, and KayLR!
Nice to have others trying the idea out with me!
I did another hour yesterday, so my new total is 2.
iris lilies
7-14-18, 10:35am
I am waiting for DH to leave on several short trips to tackle
1) plastic contaners and lids in our kitchen
2) bottom shelf of our Victorian cabinet full of his stuff not used in 3 years,
I will whittle down but not eliminate completely
3) plastic pots
Teacher Terry
7-14-18, 2:52pm
IL, you think like me:)). Always much easier when the pack rat is gone.
I had hoped to do four hours today - because my daughter is with her dad and I am having people over Monday night - but I didn't quite manage it.
But I did do two hours. These were technically hours 3 and 4, but they really felt like the first two "real" hours because before them, I was mostly doing unpacking and light puttering.
Since I am having guests over on Monday night (always a big motivator for me), I'm focusing this weekend on the first floor common areas - the living room and dining room. Because my daughter is 7 and our house is small, most of her toys and play areas are on the first floor.
I concentrated today on her art corner which has gotten messy. It was hard. I had to keep telling myself not to be a perfectionist and to just think of what I was doing was a "pass-through" cleaning, and in truth, there were a lot of things that were easy to throw out: probably 10 magic markers that had dried out, lots of old drawings and art projects. There was definitely more I could have tossed (old sticker books and coloring books that weren't completely used up, but almost), but in any case, that particular area, which is the first thing guests see when they come in the front door, looks better. I still have about 30 more minutes to do on it tomorrow though to really finish. Also, I was trying to create a kind of pretty "vignette" of her art projects on the top of the bookcase that holds all her supplies, and it's not quite right yet. I know I just have to be patient, though, and in time, I'll find a combination of pictures and objects that "spark joy."
I was having trouble getting motivated earlier, but one thing I did that helped was to go back and look at my posts from other times when I've set goals for hours of decluttering. I've been setting these goals at regular intervals for three years now! Even though there is still a lot of clutter in my house, looking back made it really clear that though it has been a three-steps-forward-two-steps-backwards process, the progress has been definite and steady. When I started three years ago, the guest room and upstairs hall were full of clutter. This year, I completely decluttered the guest room (though I have some boxes of my winter clothes in there right now which I need to move) and the hallway is about 75% less cluttered. And through it all, the support of those of you here who have chimed in has been incredibly helpful, so thanks.
As always at this stage, I'm dealing with a lot of guilt and shame about having all this clutter in the first place and anxiety about the best way to do this or that, but I've learned those feelings are just an inherent part of the process for me
New total: 4 hours.
Teacher Terry
7-14-18, 10:37pm
Evhase, you’re in the child rearing years with working and those are messy years for sure. Many on this forum are retired so of course our homes are neater, etc. By age 7 my kids had to play in their room including art but I had 3 so they weren’t lonely up there. I also went up a lot to play with them. We would often all read downstairs in the evening, homework was done down there until the kids were older. So it was easier to keep the downstairs neater. Also the more people the more stuff. Other things take preference over clutter. We would just put things in the basement to deal with later. Later came when we moved across the country for a job with 5 of us.
This forum is filled with people that have plenty of time for decluttering. Do what you can and enjoy your child. The years go fast. I also thought it was more important to play with my kids and do things with them then clean. I tried to keep my living room neat so if someone dropped over they came in the front door and we sat there:))
Thanks for the encouragement, Teacher Terry. I definitely prioritize quality time with my daughter over cleaning and decluttering, but I know both she and I are both happier and more relaxed in a reasonably orderly home. Like me, my mom was a single mom, and I'm realizing now that she did a lot of decluttering when I was off with my dad, which is what I tend to do with my daughter. But I think I also want to include my daughter more in some of the decluttering and cleaning so that she develops some of the good habits I never did. I'd love it if she and I could develop some housekeeping routines together so that she could get some positive messages about how satisfying such routines can be. We started using charts this year for morning routines, and I think I'm going to expand that a little this summer to include evening routines too. We'll see.
Also like me, my mom had pretty serious clutter issues, and cleaning out her house with my siblings after she died made me realize how much all that clutter stressed her out. I think figuring out good routines and strategies for maintaining a reasonably tidy home (believe me, my standards are not super-high!) improve my quality of life. I'd like to feel nurtured by my home instead of stressed out by it, and I *do* feel nurtured by it when I take care of it.
Onward!
I did three more hours yesterday.
I'm still working on the downstairs. One thing that has changed since I began this decluttering push a few years ago is that it used to be that all my energy was focused on just getting rid of stuff or finding a place for it. And while it felt good to purge, really good, a lot of the spaces in the house felt really bare and dissatisfying after I did so. Since finally reading The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up last year, I began to realize I hadn't given enough thought to how the different spaces in my house might "spark joy" and what I might do to make the different spaces nurturing and pretty.
So I've spent a lot of time in the last year on the apartment therapy website and on pinterest, trying to figure out what sorts of decor I like and don't like, and that's been enormously helpful. I wrote on this board last year about the big shift that took place in my home when I spent hours figuring out how to make the top of my dresser in my bedroom pretty and pleasing. I feel like taking the time to make that space (which is pretty much the first thing I see when I wake up in the morning - and which previously had been a space just piled with papers and junk) pretty was a real tipping point for me. It showed me it was okay to give myself permission to take the time to make every part of my home pleasing.
All this is a long way of saying that a fair amount of my "decluttering" time yesterday was actually spent on trying to "style" and "decorate" a wall of bookcases in my living room. I decided in my winter decluttering purge to move most of my books down to the first floor, and I love having a wall of books. For me, a house just doesn't feel warm or lived in without bookcases and books. But I had just sort of shoved the books there and hadn't arranged them at all, so that wall wasn't very attractive. So yesterday I spent about an hour or so rearranging the books, putting in some family pictures here and there and a plant and some other "accessories" to make the whole view of that wall so much prettier and personal. And I took some small posters I had and a couple of my daughter's art projects to get them dry mounted so I could put them on the top. It looks ten times better now, the way I envisioned it could look when I first moved the books down here.
Today, I'm going to continue my work on the first floor since I'm having guests tonight. I know I won't get through everything I'd hoped to do before they come, but the deadline has been a good motivator anyway.
And thanks to anyone who actually reads these long posts. I think I'm realizing that reflecting here on what I'm doing is as helpful as the decluttering itself. Domestic tasks have never come "naturally" to me, so having a place to think through these ones is enormously helpful.
New total: 7 hours.
rosarugosa
7-16-18, 5:25pm
I think you are doing great, EJ. You are right that the styling can take a lot of time, and I did a bit of that in my porch/eating area yesterday. I remember well how beautiful your bureau looked last year and you have every right to be pleased!
Thanks, rosarugosa. Your encouragement means a lot. It seems like having a pretty porch/eating area will be really worthwhile.
Well, as I suspected, I didn't have enough time yesterday to get through all the clutter on the first floor, so in the end, I dumped a bunch of the remaining clutter in boxes and took them upstairs so the downstairs would be clutter free when my guests came. This felt like a bit of a failure, but I had to remind myself that I had gone through a lot of clutter over the weekend (and thrown a lot out), and I'm going to keep going through it for the next month, so I tried not to beat myself up about it too much.
Also, it feels so good to be downstairs now that the clutter is gone, and it felt nice to have people over and feel relatively good about the space.
And, interestingly, my seven-year-old daughter was ELATED by how tidy everything was when she came home from camp. She actually asked me to pick her up early from camp today saying, "You did the first floor, Mama, so I will do the second floor." Then she saw how much I took upstairs and she said, "Well, I might need a little bit of help with this part." :) It was pretty cute, and it was validation of my thinking that the clutter stresses her out just as much as it does me. She and I will do some decluttering together this week and weekend, and I'm looking forward to developing some housekeeping/tidying/decluttering routines with her now. We have a maid that comes once a month, so we don't have to do a lot of "deep" cleaning. Mostly, she and I both need to get better at putting things away as we bring them into the house, and putting things back after we use them, and then of course cleaning up after meals and art projects.
Now that I don't have the deadline of guests coming over, I have to take a few days to focus on my paid work for the summer which I've been neglecting a bit. But I feel good about the steps forward I took in the last week on the house.
I did three hours yesterday, so my new total is 10!
I did another hour today. I was sort of all over the place, but at the end, I decided to start working on the six - yes, six - boxes of clutter stacked neatly in a corner of my dining room.
I barely made a dent, but I started.
New total is 11.
Teacher Terry
7-19-18, 11:11pm
I would move the boxes upstairs and deal with it there. I think it would feel better to not be looking at it everyday.
EJ, What a great reaction from your daughter! Together you may get even more finished. You've made huge progress and keeping the downstairs tidy, with both of you remembering to put things away will be easier. Good luck and congratulations.
I would move the boxes upstairs and deal with it there. I think it would feel better to not be looking at it everyday.
At the moment, they aren't that conspicuous and the rest of the downstairs looks nice, but I may do that eventually!
EJ, What a great reaction from your daughter! Together you may get even more finished. You've made huge progress and keeping the downstairs tidy, with both of you remembering to put things away will be easier. Good luck and congratulations.
Thanks, nswef!
I did 1.5 more hours today. I spent it on taking everything out of the kitchen pantry, then putting back what was still worth keeping. Unfortunately, I found a lot of expired food that had to be thrown out, but I also put together a bag of stuff that was still good to donate to the food pantry. I sort of ran out of time at the end, so I wasn't able to really figure out a more organized system for the shelves, but it feels good to know what's in there and needs to be used up.
New total: 12.5.
My kids used to enjoy choosing which toys and clothing to donate once they had outgrown it. All 3 have become minimalist adults. 😄
My kids used to enjoy choosing which toys and clothing to donate once they had outgrown it. All 3 have become minimalist adults. 😄
That's encouraging to hear. In addition to working on routines with her, I'm trying to get my daughter more and more involved every year in weeding out clothes, toys, and books. She's pretty good about it.
Teacher Terry
7-24-18, 5:02pm
My kids all have less stuff than I do:))
This morning before work I had about 10 minutes---I was charging my cell phone and waiting for that to happen, so I decided to get rid of a pile of papers that had accumulated on our sideboard. Sorted, filed or tossed. Now I won't see that when I get home tonight---one less irritation.
This morning before work I had about 10 minutes---I was charging my cell phone and waiting for that to happen, so I decided to get rid of a pile of papers that had accumulated on our sideboard. Sorted, filed or tossed. Now I won't see that when I get home tonight---one less irritation.
Way to go!
I've been working on other summer priorities the last week or so, but I did manage to eke out another 90 minutes today.
New total: 14.
I replaced and tossed a disgusting glasses case. The felt had worn off and there was gluey residue there instead. I am working on small changes to bring things thay spark joy into my surroundings without adding clutter and a $5 glasses case from Walmart did the trick.
Teacher Terry
8-4-18, 5:01pm
So far DH still cleaning out the shed and rented a truck for the dump run on Tuesday. I made 2 trips to the thrift store this week with stuff so we are doing good.
Teacher Terry, great work on the shed! And... how big IS it? Just reading about it, it seems like a bottomless pit, must feel that way to you too...
Teacher Terry
8-5-18, 12:03am
I don’t really know but at this point it is 1/4 full so after he goes through 1 car garage and throws away everything can easily fit in the shed. So excited!
Yppej, I TOTALLY get how good it can feel to get rid of one gross glasses case and replace it with a pristine one. Good going.
And Teacher Terry, congratulations on all the new SPACE. That sounds fantastic.
Today I met with a landscape designer, who is going to help me redesign my front and back yards and put in native plants that won't require much upkeep. I've been in my home 7 years and have done NOTHING with the yard, and it's looking pretty bad, so I'm pretty excited about taking the first step to making it nice.
I also eked out one hour of decluttering. I have totally overbought art supplies for my daughter over the last five years - partly due to school projects and partly due to me being me. :) Anyway, the overflow had ended up in several boxes in my bedroom. In my hour, I put some of them in a bag to donate to church, some in a box that will eventually be a plastic tub I can leave out in the back yard (paints and brushes and other messy activities which she usually does outside), and some in an "art cart" I bought for her that has yet to be organized. More to do, obviously, but at least they are on their way out of my bedroom.
New total: 15.
Teacher Terry
8-6-18, 10:19pm
Great idea to hire a professional to help you get your yard in shape. When we bought our house the yard was just dirt. It took about 3 summers to get it done. That was due to financial constraints and my husband getting motivated.
I filled another kitchen trash bag that was starting to smell in the summer heat with two items of clothing, two mugs, three DVDs, and brochures and other papers from when I was unemployed over a year ago that I do not think I will need. (Just like at the previous job lazy coworkers are trying to dump their work on me - last week one told her friend the receptionist to send all the calls from her angry vendors to me - but where I am now the boss sides with me.)
Woke up to two bags of trash from DS cleaning his room by the door. He works overnight when it's cooler but doesn't take them out at night since moths and mosquitoes would rush in the open door.
Teacher Terry
8-7-18, 10:27am
Y, that’s good progress.
I can’t imagine trying to dump all the work on some one else. Takes a lot of nerve.
Y, that’s good progress.
I can’t imagine trying to dump all the work on some one else. Takes a lot of nerve.
She's a patronage hire.
Congrats, Yppej, on your progress.
I did another hour yesterday. About 15 minutes of that time was looking on the Container Store website for the right storage boxes for different categories of things I need to find places for, but I'm counting it because I realize one of the reasons my house is full of unorganized clutter is because this house has no built-in storage, and I have never really dealt with that problem. Over my last 2-3 decluttering streaks, I have bought some cabinets and other furniture to store things in, and that has helped me find "a place for everything," but I still have a number of storage problems to solve. I know getting rid of stuff should be my first priority, but it's also hard to "see" the stuff I can get rid of when the stuff that I need to keep but doesn't have a real home is lying around.
New total: 16.
Teacher Terry
8-9-18, 1:17pm
Everyone is doing great! It is amazing the amount of stuff we all collect over the years. The shed is probably the size of a small house trailer. It came with the house. When my kids were at home I was a social worker working with kids in foster care. Foster kids are hard on toys so I gave them all the kids toys as they outgrew them. I took their clothes to the schools that had a free lunch summer program and the kids could pick out the clothes they wanted.
Good work to all who are plugging along.
TT - that is great progress on the shed!
EJ - I think organizing and decluttering go hand in hand. It totally makes sense to devise organizational systems and acquire storage to handle the things you are keeping. After all, the goal is not to get rid of everything! That is very exciting about your upcoming landscape work.
DS now has the recycling barrel full. We need a dumpster, but I am not going to rent one. I moved the kitchen trash to another part of the house so we don't smell it until we have room to put it out.
DS now has the recycling barrel full. We need a dumpster, but I am not going to rent one. I moved the kitchen trash to another part of the house so we don't smell it until we have room to put it out.
That is great to have your son on board!
Yes, he goes in big spurts that impress me.
Yppej and Teacher Terry, it's very inspiring to hear of your progress, and rosarugosa, thanks for being such a great cheerleader.
I eked out another 1.5 hours today. It's slow-going but it's going.
New total: 17.5.
To me 1.5 hours is a lot.
Teacher Terry
8-10-18, 8:33pm
Everyone on here is doing great! I only work p.t. so have more time than many here.
I managed four hours today. It was kind of emotionally exhausting because I'm having to make decisions about stuff that I'm not sure what to do with - which is how the stuff ended up in random boxes in the first place. But I'm dealing. I just keep saying to myself that no decision I make about where to put particular things has to be perfect. It's just a decision "for now" and I can always change my mind later if a better place to put it becomes clear. I really do think perfectionism is part of why I have clutter issues. I can't decide what to do with something and so I do nothing.
Anyway, it felt good to spend so much time on it today. New total: 21.5!
Three more hours today. Still slow. :( New total: 24.5.
Teacher Terry
8-15-18, 8:57pm
EJ, you are doing great! I worked in the yard a hour and then inside 4 more. Car loaded for thrift store. Since DH is finally getting rid of stuff I am thinking it might be helpful if I consolidated the junk in the garage and then he would be able to walk around in there to sort . Many boxes half full.
Teacher Terry, it sounds like you and your hubby are accomplishing a lot!
Did another hour today. New total: 25.5.
Still puttering along here. Squeezed in another 1.5 hours today so new total is 27.
I won't reach my goal of 40 hours by August 27th (Monday), but I hope to reach it sometime in the next three weeks or so.
I'm realizing one big benefit of these 40-hour intensive purges is that they force me to find places for things I have never bothered to find places for. For example, I've been in this house for 8 years but still don't have a place for sewing stuff (thread, needles, spare buttons). It's such a small thing, but it means whenever I get spare buttons with a new item of clothing, I just toss the buttons in a pile of clutter somewhere. Multiply that by about 50 and voila, my messy house.
So little by little I'm establishing homes for different categories of things and continuing to try to move stuff out the door. And trying to create more storage space in this house that has so little. There is lots of problem-solving to be done, but I'm getting through it. And it's definitely the case that the spaces I've organized and the "homes" I've established around the house for different types of things over the last three years are helping me stay more organized. I need to jut keep putting one foot in front of the other. It does feel interminable, but I know in a sense, it is not. I'll always have problem solving to do, but at some point, I do believe I'll get through that last box of clutter, even if I "relapse" a little from time to time later on.
Teacher Terry
8-22-18, 12:39am
You will do it!
Thanks, Teacher Terry!
Tonight I ended up tackling the sort of "half-closet" I have in my bedroom. It's a small closet with a sloping ceiling so really only good for storage. I've been thinking the last few days about how to create more storage and realized I had just thrown a lot of junk in that closet without really dealing with it and if I dealt with it, I might be able to use it more efficiently to store stuff.
I was scared to even look in there and see how bad it was, but actually, since I'd made a pass through it in my winter purge (clearing out a bunch of my ex's stuff that was still in there), it wasn't so bad. I realized there were about 5-6 categories of things in there (e.g. travel toiletries, old jewelry, extra dental supplies, extra makeup, etc.) and that all I really need to do is figure out what kinds of containers I need for each category and then organize them all. There were two stackable clear plastic drawers in there that are perfect for old make-up and various eye-related stuff (contact lens containers, extra eye glasses and eye glasses cases), and I think if I buy one more of those drawers and find maybe two or three file-box sized boxes, I'll have the containers I need for everything. And when everything is in its home, I think I'll be able to store a box I have of picture frames and a box of photos I hope to frame eventually.
I *know* that a lot of the stuff I'm storing in there I could get rid of, but I did throw out a fair amount tonight as I went through it, including two fairly large clothes hampers that were in there taking up a lot of space (they will go to Goodwill tomorrow). And I think once all the things in one category are in one place (e.g. extra makeup), it will be easier for me to see what stuff I can let go of.
In any case, I'm feeling pretty excited at the prospect that that closet will be relatively organized fairly soon because I think it's one of the clutter hot spots I've felt especially ashamed about over the years I've lived in this house, so it feels very "cleansing" to face it head-on. Really, at moments like these, I find decluttering very therapeutic.
Just one hour today. New total: 28.
Teacher Terry
8-23-18, 12:53am
That’s great! You will figure out what you want to keep. So glad I didn’t work on the garage without DH and trusted him now that he is finally ready to get rid of some stuff. He asked today if we could start working on the garage together. I was shocked. But happy!
Chicken lady
8-23-18, 6:11am
Hi ejchase,
i have a question about the make up. I don’t actually use make up, so this is totally an outside perspective, but the phrase “old make up” caught my eye. Doesn’t make up expire after a certain period of time and risk growing bacteria or something if it has been opened and used? Are you sure you want to buy storage for something you aren’t actually using, or would it be better to cull the make up before you choose a storage system?
To me “extra make up” sounds like “make up I don’t need to open now, but will use in a time period appropriate to the product” and “old make up” sounds like “make up I used to use but am now done with”
in either case, good luck with your closet!
Teacher Terry, that's exciting news about the garage. Your restraint paid off!
Chicken Lady, thanks for the info about make-up expiration dates. Most of the stuff is unopened, but I googled it, and it does look like I should throw away the opened stuff, so that's good to know!
Teacher Terry
8-23-18, 12:04pm
I didn’t realize until a few years ago that makeup goes bad. I rarely wear it since retiring.
Another hour today: 29.
I went to the Container Store, returned two containers I bought that really didn't work anywhere, and bought three clear plastic stackable drawers. I normally don't like clear plastic storage, but I realized that almost everything I'm organizing in the half-closet in my bedroom is some kind of toiletry that could spill, so the drawers are perfect for that, and it's nice to see what's where at a glance, and since the drawers are hidden behind the closet door, it doesn't matter that they're not beautiful - though they look pretty beautiful to me right now!
Then I came home and organized everything that I just kept tossing in boxes in that closet for the last several years. I threw out a lot too and since I pulled out those two hampers to take to Goodwill, the closet is still half-empty which is great because I was hoping I could create more space for storage in there. I still have boxes of stuff in the hallway, and once I go through them and get rid of everything I can, it's nice to know I have an out-of-the-way spot to store some stuff I can't part with yet.
In any case, organizing that closet has had a huge psychological impact on me. I really felt like I would never be able to face it, but dealing with it wasn't that bad. I think what really helped was having made one previous "pass" through it over winter. Having gone through it once imperfectly made it easier this time around. It's a process.
I always feel during these purges like I'm excavating my life - getting rid of all the dross layer by layer, and once it's all gone, I'm starting to see what's really important. It's a really good feeling.
rosarugosa
8-24-18, 4:34am
Great progress, EJ! The progress you are making in finding places for things to belong going forward is really going to have a major impact! At least from here, it sounds like you have really turned a corner!
TT: I wonder what finally lit a fire under your DH? You must be so glad it happened, whatever it was!
Another hour between yesterday and today. New total: 30.
Two fortuitous events spurred me to some decluttering I hadn't planned. Yesterday, it looked for a few hours like we were going to get a last-minute houseguest, so I had to move all the clutter out of the guest room where it has collected. The good news about this is that it only took me an hour, which, I confess, I see as a sign of progress. A year ago, there was so much junk in that room it would have taken five hours. No guest came yesterday, but we might have one next weekend, so it feels good to be prepared. Plus, it just feels good to have that room looking good. I'd had the door closed all week because it was so bad. Now the door is open, and it's a nice view to see it all tidy.
Then, today, when my daughter and I pulled out of our driveway, we realized we had a flat tire. While we waited for AAA, I had to declutter the trunk to get to the spare. There was a LOT in there I had forgotten to unload. I hate to think of all that gas I'd wasted with all that extra weight. Ah well. It now has about 75% less stuff.
Since I'm down to my last ten hours of this goal, I'm really trying to just focus on making the house entirely presentable. What that means to me is that my priority now is not to get through every stash of clutter in drawers or boxes or wherever but to feel like I can show every room in the house to guests without embarrassment. I'm so tired of saying "Excuse the mess" every time a parent comes to pick up their child from a play date with my daughter and they end up seeing the cluttered upstairs hallway. Actually, I know on your average Saturday, I might say, "Excuse the mess" depending on what art projects or whatever are left out. I'd just like to feel like every room is pretty and generally organized. I'd say, at this point, that is true of every room in the house with the exception of the upstairs hallway and my bedroom. So I'd like to make these last nine hours about getting those spaces pretty and organized. Not perfect - I just want to do whatever I have to do - hang pictures, decorate with plants or photographs or whatever - to feel relatively good about them
Rosarugosa, I know you've said you've wondered if your mom accumulates clutter to kind of keep people away, and I think there's something to that for me, too. I used to be really overweight and when I started to lose pounds, I realized it made me feel very vulnerable and I had to address that. I think I have to do that as I let go of all this clutter too - remind myself that if my house is pretty and presentable, that doesn't mean I have to "let everyone in." I can have a pretty house for me and my daughter, and we can share it with others as much or as little as we want. I can still have boundaries. They just won't be formed from clutter!
I have been experimenting this year with entertaining at home a bit more. Two friends from work come over every once in a while to chat and drink wine, and I've been hosting a writing group here. Having the two friends over hasn't been too bad. They've seen the house pretty messy and are understanding and also just don't care that much about messiness. And, of course, the people in the writing group are polite, but it's still a little hard to have them over because one of the women I know lives in a super-beautiful out-of-a-magazine house and she's pretty meticulous about it. She's not a judgmental person at all, but I know it may be hard for her to feel very comfortable in a house like mine, which sometimes makes me feel self-conscious. But it's been good to face all those fears anyway. I'm so tired of living with shame about my living space. I'd really like to let that go. Part of letting it go is by decluttering and making the spaces pretty. And part of it is letting people see my home as it is with all its imperfections.
As always, thanks for "listening."
Onward!
I actually put in another hour tonight, so my new total is 31.
All the stuff I'd moved out of the guest room - in essence, five or so boxes of clutter - was in my bedroom. Two of those boxes were toys of my daughter's I'd purged from shelves in the living room (we have a small house, so yes, some of her toys are on shelves in the living room which sort of doubles as her playroom). I thought I'd go through the boxes with her and figure out what to get rid of/what to keep, but we didn't get to that this summer, and I doubt we will now. So I put those two boxes in the back of the half-closet I just cleaned out. I feel guilty even typing that. I have some belief that if I can't go through a box of clutter at the moment, it should be out somewhere where I can see it. But then that means I'm surrounded by clutter all the time. So I'm giving myself permission to tuck those two boxes away until my next 40-hour purge in Jan-March 2019 when I'm on a reduced schedule again. It felt so good to give myself permission to do that.
I also stored in that closet a box of pictures and a box of picture frames. As I've said before, there are probably things I could get rid of in those boxes, but right now, my priority is to just feel good in my space, and I don't feel good in my space with all these boxes of stuff in the hallway or on the floor in my bedroom. I know they are in the closet. I'll deal with them when I can.
I still have PLENTY of boxes and bags in my bedroom and the hallway to deal with, but that felt like a good hour's work. That closet, which was just a mess a week ago, is now a really well-organized and efficiently used storage space.
Chicken lady
8-26-18, 6:30am
Ejchase, nice work!
I think tucking away those toys was fine. If she asks for any of them - you know where they are. And if she doesn’t, it will probably be easy to get rid of them in the Spring purge. Also, the box is easy to get in and out now - so, maybe if she gets bored with the toys she has or wants something new, you can “shop the box” even if you take ten minutes and make a few decisions, that is either free “new” toys or some stuff out of the house.
the need to keep things out where we can see them is one of the characteristics that leads us to living in chaos. So if you are able to tuck away the things you will address later- that is a good thing.
EJ, great post on the psychological aspects of decluttering and vulnerability. It reminds me of an analogy I heard years ago at the first codependents group I ever went to. Addiction is like that ugly coffee table your relative gave you, that you bump into every time you pass through the room, but can't get rid of because it was given to you. Move it to another part of the room so you don't keep bumping into it.
Well obviously you can't cure an addiction, but you can minimize it tripping you up all the time, ditto clutter. It is perfectly fine to put it away until later.
Another thing I learned there is it took you awhile to get into this situation, it will take you awhile. They gave us a recommended formula, a month for a year. So don't up and file for divorce. If you have been married 5 years give it 5 months of reacting in new ways before you contemplate drastic steps. And I am sure it took awhile for your home to get cluttered, it will take awhile to get decluttered. You are entitled to put things in the closet and take a breather when you need to.
Teacher Terry
8-26-18, 9:57am
I definitely don’t leave things sitting out and put them away until I can deal with them. It feels better. You have really accomplished a lot.
ej, consider this suggestion from many books on decluttering: Put a date on a sealed box. If it is unopened 1year later, take it straight to your local thrifstore. Don't open, don't peek, don't ponder what might be there.
This prevents "what if I need it in the future".
Regarding the box of picture frames: are there places in your home where you will hang or set framed photos if they were ready today? If not, get rid of it now.
Decluttering is a HUGE job. Having helped many people do this, I've learned one thing. Not everyone desires to live without clutter. My sister/best friend is one of those people. She was here taking care of me for 12 days after major surgery. Unlike me, she didn't put things away when done. IE: vacuum cleaner in hall just 4f away from where I keep it in the laundry room. I put it away and she commented later "I was going to use that tomorrow morning in my room". I didn't want to walk around it with the potential of tripping (I was using a walker). The 3rd time (at her request) I helped her declutter her home I said "are you sure you want to have no clutter sitting around? We keep doing this and when I return it's back". She has never asked me again to help her declutter. She's in a home half the size of her prior so that has done her a world of good though and.......no storage unit...:~)
Are you a person who wants NO clutter? Do you need a certain amount of stuff lying around to be comfortable in your home? These are questions to ask when stuff is boxed up and stored rather than dealt with in-hand.......
I share this so you can ponder your answers along your journey.
Well, school has started up again, and I am busy, busy, busy, but I am still hoping I can finish the 40 hours I committed to over the summer bit by bit.
A lot of the worst clutter is in my bedroom at this point, so my priority now is to get through it so that that room feels pretty and pleasing and organized. Then I want to get through the little bit that has collected in the guest room again (Who was it, Chicken Lady, who said guest rooms collect clutter? Whoever it was: you were right!). Then last priority, is the hallway. The hallway isn't as bad as it used to be, but I could make it look better. There are also about six boxes of clutter there which I might not be able to tackle until winter, but they are sort of stacked neatly in corners so don't look too bad.
Again, I'm feeling like these 40 hour purges pay off. Thursday night, my daughter had to do a family tree project with pictures, and I knew where everything was - old family photos, tape, scissors - which felt really good. And as I'm sorting through boxes of clutter in my bedroom, I'm realizing I generally have a place for everything I pull out (if it's not the trash) or else I can create a place for it pretty easily.
1.5 hours today, so new total is 32.5.
Onward!
Chicken lady
9-8-18, 8:00pm
Well, i don’t know if I said it, but my guest rooms certainly collect clutter! Currently one has all of dd2’s discards and the other has baskets of clean laundry.
i’m right There with you with school starting. But I noticed something this year - my administration made a change to the schedule do that some days, when we have the youngest group, we pick them up 5 minutes before the end of lunch. But I am not paid for lunch, and it just got shortened by 5 minutes! I did the math, and that is 5 hours of work I don’t get paid for over the year. Which is not huge, but a noticeable chunk of time/money. OTOH, I feel pretty well treated at work, so I am not going to bring it up.
what it did make me notice was how much 5 minutes a couple of days a week adds up to!
i have been really stalled on the cleaning out and organizing, so I am going to commit to 5 minutes a day. If I actually do it, that is over 30 hours in the course of the year (even if I miss a few)
Teacher Terry
9-8-18, 9:17pm
So my youngest son is here and he is Pig pen from the peanuts comic strip. My friend spent the night and chose to sleep on the couch versus the guest bedroom because although my son smokes outside everything of his smells like smoke in his bedroom. He spills coffee and sugar on the counter top and you stick to it. Good thing I love that kid dearly:((
Chicken lady
9-9-18, 10:18am
Day 1 - 5 minutes in the basement
put supports I use for craft fairs back with craft fair display stuff
started sorting out a paper bag of stuff Dd left behind.
timer went off
”finished” bag anyway:
handfull of trash
pens in my desk
markers, pencils, and some yarn in the “go to school” box
yarn and feathers in the “arts and crafts restore” box (the restore is a new discovery and I am in love!)
yarn and shoelaces “to keep” piled on top of another box because I can’t reach The yarn cabinet and I don’t remember where I put shoelaces.
bag set aside to fill with recycling.
reclaimed over a square foot of floor space.
Teacher Terry
9-9-18, 10:22am
One of my friends used to set the timer daily for 15 minutes. They would both clean during that time and got a lot done.
Chicken lady
9-10-18, 12:42pm
Another 5 minutes. Sorted out a small box, more stuff to go to school.
Good going, Chicken Lady!
I did another hour yesterday. New total: 33.5.
rosarugosa
9-11-18, 5:54am
Wow, CL. I am impressed by what you are accomplishing in your 5 minute sessions!
EJ: Keep up the good work!
Chicken lady
9-11-18, 6:24am
Ej, I admire your dedication!
rosa, partly it is because I am choosing to start with “low hanging fruit” but partly it is because it is a sprint. I choose a time when I have some energy and motivation, and then I work REALLY hard for 5 minutes. I feel like this will give me a lot more progress for my 30 hours than if I set aside one weekend of the year to try to clear things out. I’m sure here will be days when I run into something hard and all I get from my 5 minutes is a single decision. But that will be ok too - decisions on 365 items add up!
Chicken lady
9-15-18, 8:01am
Well, I did that 4 days in a row and then dropped it. Hope to hit it again today.
Chicken lady
9-16-18, 7:56am
Got back on it yesterday - cleaned off a corner of my desk, reshelved sone books, filled some stuff, and recycled some papers.
I went out at 11 to trim back the tall daisies....15 minutes later ALL DONE! If I would just DO IT so much could be accomplished.
Chicken lady
9-17-18, 10:00pm
Those 15 minuteses count!
did my 5 rounding up recycling in the pottery studio today.
Not frugal yet though I think in the long run it will be, but we switched internet/cable providers and turned in the old router that crashed all the time.
I also got some 1/2 pint glass canning jars I am going to try out in my lunchbox. I am eager to dump the plastic Tupperware that is old with increasingly leaky lids.
So I am not reducing my item count but getting rid of things that spark annoyance and replacing them.
iris lilies
9-29-18, 5:36pm
Things that spark annoyance! I LOVE that, this really made me laugh. And dude, I can relate.
rosarugosa
9-30-18, 7:21am
Yes, "things that spark annoyance" is wonderful!
Good going, Yppej and Chicken Lady.
I'm still working towards my 40 hours in baby steps. Did 30 minutes today in the guest room in my bedroom. New total: 34.
Teacher Terry
10-1-18, 1:22am
Too funny!
I'm still chipping away at this old goal from last summer. Did 90 minutes more yesterday, so my new total is 35.5.
I have a houseguest coming on November 14th, so I'm hoping that motivates me to get myself over the finish line before then!
Ej. I was wondering how you were doing. My job today was a 10 minute clean out and reorganization of the bathroom vanity that had too many boxes of little things....consolidated and got rid of boxes, not too many things. Next job the hall linen-hardware closet- one shelf at a time.
Good for you, nswef. The baby steps add up.
I eked out one more hour today. New total: 36.5.
I finished the last 3 and a half hours on this goal last weekend - in preparation for a houseguest. Thanks to all of you who cheered me on these last five months. I'll probably start another 40 hours in about a month.
Nswef, I hope your progress is continuing as well!
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