View Full Version : Top 5 things you like/love about your significant other
Ultralight
7-23-18, 8:27pm
I was talking to a couple friends about the things they love about their significant others. It was like a form of gratitude.
So I thought I would ask on here this question:
What are the top 5 things you like/love about your significant other?
If your significant other had passed away, please feel free to answer still.
Teacher Terry
7-23-18, 8:36pm
His great sense of humor, he loves my kids and will do anything for them, he stands up for me, he shows me love daily and is always willing to compromise.
Mine just announced Saturday night that she’s divorcing me, and left our home, driving halfway across the country to her new life. This was 15 minutes before guests were arriving for a dinner party we were throwing. So, I’ll have to think a bit on the question.
I love this.
a) He is my outgoing half. I feel SO confident out in public with him because I can have fun and he does all the heavy lifting (although it's not heavy lifting for him)
b) He love theatre like I do--and that common interest spurred our early dating life. But now we share other common interests, like gardening and sitting outside admiring the sky.
c) He served in the Marines--it must have been such a challenge for him because he is NOT oriented towards difficult challenges. But he did it. He's afraid of heights but he rapelled out of helicopters. He is a hedonist, but he survived boot camp at Paris Island. In 1970, he was, frankly, a bit of a racist, but he learned in the Marines that we are all one.
d) He has an amazing sense of humor and I laugh all the time
e) We have a history. We have 4 children and we have been up and down, in the crapper and out, through thick and thin, we have remained true to our marriage vows (more or less). My friend and I were talking about wrinkles once, and I told her that I love the wrinkles on my husband's face because every line is a road I've traveled with him.
Mine just announced Saturday night that she’s divorcing me, and left our home, driving halfway across the country to her new life. This was 15 minutes before guests were arriving for a dinner party we were throwing. So, I’ll have to think a bit on the question.
What????? OMG, I am so sorry, bae!
Ultralight
7-23-18, 9:04pm
Mine just announced Saturday night that she’s divorcing me, and left our home, driving halfway across the country to her new life. This was 15 minutes before guests were arriving for a dinner party we were throwing. So, I’ll have to think a bit on the question.
bae! I am sorry to hear this. What is going on?!
Mine just announced Saturday night that she’s divorcing me, and left our home, driving halfway across the country to her new life. This was 15 minutes before guests were arriving for a dinner party we were throwing. So, I’ll have to think a bit on the question.
Oh bae, that is so rough. I am very sorry.
1. Great sense of humor-willing to laugh with me and at me.
2. Loves me unconditionally-on our way to 40 years!
3. My gentle protector.
4. Shares in the tasks/chores of our daily life.
5. For decades we've had a shared financial vision. Money has not been cause for angry words in nearly 30 years!
Williamsmith
7-23-18, 9:36pm
Bae.....that’s a shit sandwich. But for some reason, I feel like you will persevere and come out the other side in tact.
1. My wife knows I will lay down my life for her and I know she would do the same for me.
2. My wife does not have to speak nor do I. It’s all in the eyes.
3. My wife knows that once I am gone she does not need to wear my memory around like a ball and chain.
4. My wife was committed to me when I was nothing, whatever one of us entered into the other supported.
5. If there is such a thing as soul sacrifice....she embodies it.
Yikes, Bae!! Such odd things happening lately...
Re: mine
1) He takes care of me (I know that sounds old-fashioned but important to me)
2) He cooks and cleans without hesitation.
3) He can fix anything.
4) He is very intuitive and sensitive.
5) He is a good kisser...
43 years
iris lilies
7-23-18, 10:28pm
Mine just announced Saturday night that she’s divorcing me, and left our home, driving halfway across the country to her new life. This was 15 minutes before guests were arriving for a dinner party we were throwing. So, I’ll have to think a bit on the question.
That is a kick in the nuts.
She likely wont find what she is looking for out yonder because wherever she goes, there she is.
Teacher Terry
7-24-18, 1:01am
Bae, I am so sorry. If she never gave you any clues like wanting to go to counseling then it really sucks. I tried to get my ex for 22 years to engage yet he was shocked when I left.
Holy smokes Bae! That is quite a shocker. :(
Ultralight
7-24-18, 6:31am
Regarding my SO:
1. Pretty face with supple lips
2. Beautiful, kinky hair
3. Big butt
4. Sense of humor (we can make each other laugh)
5. She shows up and seems to put in the effort
rosarugosa
7-24-18, 6:46am
Bae: I'm really sorry to hear that.
My five would be:
1. Chemistry (so hard to define, but so essential!)
2. He is kind
3. We have complete trust between us
4. He loves me unconditionally
5. Shared interests and history (we started our relationship when he was 12 and I was 15)
Ultralight
7-24-18, 6:48am
5. Shared interests and history (we started our relationship when he was 12 and I was 15)
That is early!
I was sorry to hear that news, bae. I hope staying connected with family and friends will help you along this way.
My list is similar to some others:
1. We're a match physically, tempermentally, and financially
2. We're retired and in a later-in-life relationship so the issues of younger years aren't there, e.g., raising kids, working full-time, etc. meaning we can relax and enjoy each other
3. He's the first partner I've had who is really "all-in" this relationship and doesn't hesitate to show it with daily affection
4. His love language is acts of service - another new thing for me - so he does household and car repair as part of daily life, not resentfully and not as a way to keep score of who does more in the household
5. Although we do not agree politically he is personally a very generous soul and I would always trust him to do the right thing.
iris lilies
7-24-18, 10:38am
Here’s what I like about DH:
1) he is cute and has aged better than me in the looks department
2) I admire him because he can fix anything, anywhere, that is his genius
3) he is even tempered emotionally and has a quiet, sunny personality and as such is very reliable, people like him and accept him
4) he is extremely hard working and he works fast and accomplishes huge amounts
5) he is very flexible about life changes I want to make—buy a house in Hermann and move there, get another dog, etc. he is ok with those ideas
6) we share values about spending money
All of this makes for easy living. I am lazy and self centered, and
I am all about making life easy and interesting for Iris.
1) he thinks my OCD/quirks/strong preferences are cute and charming most of the time.
2) His love language is gifts of service, and he just does these things every day with no fanfare or even mention. (breakfast in bed every day for example)
3) he supports me in all my pursuits, has always let me lead on those things that are important to me
4) he's smart, and curious and I can talk to him about most everything (outside of spirituality).
5) He pays attention to his health through diet and exercise and is an excellent specimen to look at ;)
Like Iris, its all about MEEEEE. I am all about having a life that makes me feel good.
Bae - I'm sorry. Is this something that she's done before? I'm wondering if it comes out of her depression?
I'm struggling with this relationship currently so going to stay quiet on my own situation but I'll say we're committed and we'll get through this stage.
Teacher Terry
7-24-18, 11:39am
Sometimes things that seem horrible turn out for the best. My ex was devastated when I left him but we are both much happier now. We went to counseling many times and really tried but in the end I wasn’t going to sacrifice my life to stay in a bad marriage. Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is to move on. I have known people that stayed married their entire lives but hated each other. FO, all relationships hit rough patches. Just a part of life. Hope things get better soon.
Sorry bae!
1. He fixes it all and isn't afraid to try something new ( how about YouTube?)
2. He's honest and has integrity
3. I just *know* he loves me...can't explain that one, but it is!
4. Most of the time, we're a team and in agreement
5. Our long term views and goals are similar
Bae, that sucks big-time. What a punch to the gut! Was there a clue?
My SO:
1) The most truthful, honest person I know. NEVER lies. EVER.
2) Thoughtful, reliable.
3) Understands my need to have space occasionally.
4) He supports all my dabbling, even though he knows something else shiny will come along
5) He has a cute butt
He let me be me--very important--he loved me uncritically.
He was playful and open to new experiences.
He was endlessly helpful and supportive to my parents in their final illnesses, and to me through various pet deaths.
He was quick to fix little problems around my house.
Chemistry. And facial hair.
We were practically polar opposites, but did have cats, spicy food, and basic values in common.
Oh bae--what a shocker! Like others, I hope something good comes out of this.
Bae, wishing you all the strength and support surrounding you as you both work through this. So sorry for this to happen.
What I remember the most:
- DH had the most beautiful blue eyes when happy and dark grey when not, the most perfectly shaped mouth which curved up continually
- a wink from him could calm me down in an instant
- game for and supportive of any new adventure
- the impossible? He just said it would take a little longer but it got done
- family always came first
Gardenarian
7-24-18, 3:10pm
Bae, I'm so sorry to hear this.
Here are my five:
* He's very creative and inspires me to be more creative.
* He is a musical genius. I like being around someone who is completely driven by their passions.
*He has excellent manners.
* He is a terrific dad to our daughter.
*He thinks I know everything :)
Bae - I'm sorry. Is this something that she's done before? I'm wondering if it comes out of her depression?
This is almost entirely the result of her lifelong struggle with major depression - the recent deaths of her parents and the recent empty-nest business have knocked her for a loop. Everything here - me, the house, her friends, the community, her activities her - all simply remind her of her depression and make things worse for her.
We've been engaged in some pretty heavy duty therapy for months now, but suddenly this weekend she decided to head off for a bright shiny new world, untouched by things that drag her down.
I hope it turns out well for her. As she was packing to leave, she said "I can only think of two ways out, ending our relationship and life here, or ending myself".
So, sorta terrified, and having people on her route check in on her.
I don't expect she'll be back this time. I'm just hoping it all turns out OK for her.
I'm basically in mourning now, it's as if my best friend/lover/wife of decades has died. The depression has driven out most of her normal personality and attachment to reality.
Boo.
I’m hoping she’s not being driven into hypomania by antidepressants. Hoping she has psychiatry for med management in her new location.
Teacher Terry
7-24-18, 9:15pm
Major depression is a horrible disease. Wishing both of you well and peace.
catherine
7-24-18, 10:13pm
So sorry, bae.
My DH had a meltdown when our kids left the nest and we separated for a short time. I even went with him to check out his new apartment.
It's a confusing and disruptive time for parents, and I'm sure your wife's depression exacerbated those feelings. I hope you find support in your family and community, and I hope both of you are able to move on in due time.
Teacher Terry
7-24-18, 10:37pm
Many people have difficulty with the empty nest. As for me I was doing the happy dance after raising 3 boys. It was short lived as they all boomeranged back for awhile. Then we took in my youngest step son at 13. He is a great person now but a pain as a teenager. Enjoying our golden years now:))
bae i don't post much but i was very sorry to read your news.
Bae, like Mary I don't post much. But I follow you all with interest, and my heart goes out to you, your wife, and daughter.
I'm wishing your family well.
happystuff
8-14-18, 7:39am
Bae, I'm sorry that you are going through this. Prayers and positive energies going out to you.
frugal-one
8-16-18, 8:18pm
Bae... my condolences too! Hope you are able to keep a chin up!
Bae, very sorry to hear this.
bae, just saw the backstory on your divorce. I'm so sorry ... divorce is a terrible experience, particularly when you're the leave-ee in circumstances like this. I wish you peace and strength and lots of support.
Bae, I hadn't read this thread because I don't have a SO and I have been divorced for a long time. SO I just read what you are going through! I am so sorry, I am on the side of the mental illness and that is exactly why I work so hard at being well. It is very hard work, but even if having a mental illness is unfair it is still our work to do. From everything you have shared I get the sense you have been very supportive and understanding, that doesn't always happen. It reminds me of my best friend who was always supportive of her ex who was going through major depression. Turns out he was just serial cheating,
Sorry to take over here. What I loved about my SO 20 years ago when I still did love him was that we could talk forever, we had common interests, and he was willing to be very goofy with me (like playing cooking show while we made dinner with funny accents). We got out and hiked and camped with the kids, valued healthy eating, and he supported me turning off the TV for months at a time. Something about starting to earn a lot more money changed however, all his narcissistic qualities came out. I have seen that in other cases, very sad
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