View Full Version : Stepping Back: What are the Consequences?
When I mean stepping back, I mean stepping away from the bar set by the increased comfort and standard of living most people have been known to expect with regard to housing. But I'm actually learning about the rewards that stepping back can have. I'm actually wondering why more people don't live like this.
For instance: small square footage. I am not finding anything at all difficult about living in 700 square feet. In fact, it's SO EASY. So easy to clean, so easy to tidy, so easy to live in. So comfy and cozy.
Another example: we only have one bathroom--an adorable one with a clawfoot tub and a stained glass octagonal window. But it's hard to shower. Like, impossible. So, the plumber is coming on Monday, and I'm going to ask him about installing an outdoor shower. That's fine for me.
Another example: We have an extremely small kitchen and a wonky pantry/microwave/refrigerator area. But it works. I can make the same stuff I've always made. It's easy to clean, and we have a multi-functional chopping block/island/dining space.
Another example: No air conditioning. We have ceiling fans and we're on the lake, so there's a breeze. Yes, it's been hot a couple of nights, but not unbearable. I have no intention of buying an air conditioner.
I adore this house. It's just what I need, and no more. It's adorable, it's quirky, it's got character. And so I wonder why people feel this type of a home is good enough for a lakeside cabin, but not for a "real" house. I know my realtor, who has a half-million dollar house that she renovated to look like an HGTV showpiece, shakes her head when she sees me effuse with love for this house. She's already advised me to shut off a door, move the LR/DR area, paint all the espresso-stained woodwork white, paint the whole house greige. In other words, turn it into another HGTV/Joanna Gaines cookie-cutter house. Nope.
But will guests get it? Will they want to go outside for a "real" shower? Will they talk about us on the way home about how they had to "rough it" and they can't wait to get back to the 21st century comfort of their own homes? Not that I worry about that a lot, but I think about it. I'm getting better about worrying about what others think, but I still have some insecurities there.
So my question is: what is your comfort level? What do you NEED to have in a house--otherwise, you feel like you're roughing it?
I have marveled for 20 years that people around me say: when are you going to build a big new house? (people who worked for me who were themselves big new houses with bright shiny mortgages)........when will you buy a new car? We know you can afford it. Well, I drove that one 17y and then I did buy a nice shiny new car for the next few decades.;)
The mountain cabin is 1250sq 2bed/1 bath. Our city home is 1850 2bed/2 bath. Each is plenty big for us. Our city home could be smaller but heck, it's what we bought in 1991 and we do not plan to leave it alive.
Outdoor shower in Vermont? Don't forget to wintererize it every September!
iris lilies
8-2-18, 4:16pm
Interesting question, and I am grappling with the hypocrite in me on this topic.
For the past several years I had thought that I could live in 1200 sq ft house, disregarding DH’s extensive collections of STUfF which are almost completely tools and building materials stored in various basements, garages, and tiny houses-we-use-as-tool-sheds.
So now we have a weekend house that is around 1400 sq ft. Hell, that should be Enough, right? RIGHT? And here we are, planning to turn it upside down in renovation and also probably add on to it. !!!
On the one hand, I often marvel how easy it is to live there with everything on one floor, everything close. On the other hand, I dont really “live” in it, I “Weekend” in it.
It is not functional for real 100%living. Yet.
I have been getting many emails about estate sales lately. 7 this week alone. What astonishes me every time is the sheer volume of stuff that is in every corner of these houses. Not antiques, crafting stuff, or simply furniture. But closets overflowing with decorator, collectible stuff.
My old condo, which I remember fondly, was just under 1000 sq.ft. That was probably enough, though I would like a second bath. It had a nice sized kitchen--unlike my current house. So about 1000 sq. ft. with a garage and a small outdoor space would suffice, along with privacy and quiet surroundings. My must-have is a pleasant view of some kind--no looking at the side of the house next door.
Teacher Terry
8-2-18, 4:38pm
Catherine, you are not living there year round so you still have all your stuff elsewhere. I lived fine in 869 sq ft by myself. We now live in 1400 sq ft with large shed for DJ’s junk. We like to entertain and I can have more people over than in my condo. Once winter sets in you are in more and need more room. People think our home is small but it works. Plus we have 3 dogs. If you live there permanently and get rid of other home and stuff and are still content then I will be impressed. Sorry don’t mean to be a downer.
Catherine, you are not living there year round so you still have all your stuff elsewhere. I lived fine in 869 sq ft by myself. We now live in 1400 sq ft with large shed for DJ’s junk. We like to entertain and I can have more people over than in my condo. Once winter sets in you are in more and need more room. People think our home is small but it works. Plus we have 3 dogs. If you live there permanently and get rid of other home and stuff and are still content then I will be impressed. Sorry don’t mean to be a downer.
You are right. We do have 3 outbuildings for "junk." But that doesn't include the 1900 square foot storage locker in NJ with a big mortgage. But I'm learning that I don't miss anything there. I am hoping that I can learn from this experience, go home and purge A LOT.
I will continue to report back. I don't know why, if I can live for 3 months just fine without feeling "I wish I brought this/that from home" I can't do it permanently. I'm hoping to impress you--and myself.
It's the elsewhere stuff I am having trouble imagining getting rid of, although it would obviously be easier to find an inexpensive new house in New England if I did not need so much space for stuff and for patterns of living such as two work at home people, one of whom (not me) is a talk outloud auditory person.
You may indeed be able to pull it off, and consider me impressed--but we have been living in too small houses for the past ten years--four years in one that was 860 square feet, year round, and I could not at that time get rid of the boxes in the garage, and I had no guest room or second bathroom, both of which it would be lovely to have. I have tried the "here, we will pay for you to stay at the xyz lodge and you'll have so much fun at the waterpark," etc. and are always greeted with sad faces, but we want to stay with you, and eat pancakes.
I have tried the "here, we will pay for you to stay at the xyz lodge and you'll have so much fun at the waterpark," etc. and are always greeted with sad faces, but we want to stay with you, and eat pancakes.
I agree. This is the crux of this thread. My son is coming up at the end of August and we have offered to clear out and stay elsewhere, and he and his family (1 wife, 2 young kids) can live in our 2 bedroom house. But they pushed back. I told him specifically that we chose to buy a small house and then pay for guests, because that's cheaper than buying a bigger house so that you can accommodate the occasional guest, but this is not acceptable to them.
And, if we did clear out and let them have this house, I can't see my DIL being thrilled with the 10 gallon hot water heater.
iris lilies
8-2-18, 6:03pm
“...not acceptable to them.”
hmmmm. I think you know what I would say about that were I inclined to say it. Still, I am proud of you that you did not fall into the trap of big house to house guests who are there only 7% of the time. You are close to your kids, you will work this out.
I agree. This is the crux of this thread. My son is coming up at the end of August and we have offered to clear out and stay elsewhere, and he and his family (1 wife, 2 young kids) can live in our 2 bedroom house. But they pushed back. I told him specifically that we chose to buy a small house and then pay for guests, because that's cheaper than buying a bigger house so that you can accommodate the occasional guest, but this is not acceptable to them.
And, if we did clear out and let them have this house, I can't see my DIL being thrilled with the 10 gallon hot water heater.
Sheesh, I make that request of my DD and she hasn't spoken to me since, almost 18 months. Seriously.
Sheesh, I make that request of my DD and she hasn't spoken to me since, almost 18 months. Seriously.
No... don't tell me that!
IL: Yes, that was the very logical course of action for me. I don't get why people would be offended or unwilling to sleep somewhere else and still get together during the day. I'm inclined to be like the Nearings, who said that people liked to come by, but not stay, because they had to work and the food wasn't great. She told them "suit yourself" and felt no guilt when they left early. It was her life, after all. And that's how I'm feeling these days.
Oh Kay, that's just awful. I think that is what I fear happening. IL, why do you want to add on to your Hermann house? Is it so you can add a bathroom and guest space? I knew someone in SC who did that--just added a bathroom and a front porch, which made house much better for guests. Cheaper than moving, for sure.
Catherine, I wonder how many other grandparents/parents are going through this. My son was kind enough to bring my grandson up a couple of years ago, and the dog had a torn asl and I had to keep the dog and the grandbaby separate--my son wanted me to take out the baby gate, but the dog was in pain, and is shy and fearful, and it was so tense.
But Helen didn't have any kids and no grandchildren, of course. And according to that really interesting Melissa Coleman book, she played favorites with those who did come to be near them, like the Colemans.
For me, the family issue is at the heart of this. It's same way when I go there--sometimes I stay at a motel, sometimes I stay there, and I still can't figure out what is best, or makes them happiest.
At some level, we all want to regress to how it was when they were my little kids, both parents and kids, I think.
Now my husband's family--by all means, go to the b n b, and we will all be happier, haha.
Oh Kay, that's just awful. I think that is what I fear happening. IL, why do you want to add on to your Hermann house? Is it so you can add a bathroom and guest space? I knew someone in SC who did that--just added a bathroom and a front porch, which made house much better for guests. Cheaper than moving, for sure.
Catherine, I wonder how many other grandparents/parents are going through this. My son was kind enough to bring my grandson up a couple of years ago, and the dog had a torn asl and I had to keep the dog and the grandbaby separate--my son wanted me to take out the baby gate, but the dog was in pain, and is shy and fearful, and it was so tense.
Well, at least I don't have the complication of a dog anymore. I love dogs, and I miss my Nessie desperately, but I have no desire to get another dog. Why would kids expect their parents to continue to give and give and give?
Why would kids expect their parents to continue to give and give and give?
Just to clarify, my kids are not demanding. They have always been loving and giving to ME. Maybe it's MY problem. That I WANT to give and give and give but don't have the bandwidth. My kids absolutely understand that, and they have since they were 9 years old and thanked me profusely for giving them a pack of tube socks for their birthdays, when that was all I could afford. So I am NOT talking about my kids' expectations. I'm talking about my own wish that I could just keep giving to them, but I know that I can't. Tybee, to your point about Helen Nearing, I hear what you're saying.
iris lilies
8-2-18, 8:22pm
... IL, why do you want to add on to your Hermann house? Is it so you can add a bathroom and guest space? I knew someone in SC who did that--just added a bathroom and a front porch, which made house much better for guests. Cheaper than moving, for sure....
We dont have a plan from the architect yet. But I envision building on a room in back with lots of windows to take advantage of our view, it is really sweet.
When we first got this house, I was talking to DH about necessary renovations (the garage- turned-bedroom needs to become a kitchen and oh yeah, lets add some HVAC, haha and we need a double garage) and
I said “and then in a few years we can add a 3 season room” and soon after, it struck me that hell, we need to build that NOW because “in a few years” I will be dead.
this house has been messed with several times. It has 5 exterior doors, to illustrate one thing that is problematic.
So anyway, this house needs a re working of the space, and we arent doing that to accomodate guests. I am doing it to make it more accomodating to MY everyday life.
I don't get why people would be offended or unwilling to sleep somewhere else and still get together during the day.
Maybe because 1) they have a mental picture of what they want the experience to be; and 2) in practical terms, sleeping somewhere else and getting together during the day just doesn't work out in practice as well as it does in thought. One party wonders how early they can call the other to see if they're awake and moving around, and getting ready and transporting between locations burns time too. Kids' needs complicate that process further. Maybe taking offense is an overly strong reaction, but I can see unhappiness over such an invitation.
My husband and I live in a 810 sq ft house and we have a small garage. Everything we own is on this property. It’s plenty big enough for us. We make use of the outdoor space under the patio roof - total shade is a need in the desert. That outdoor space is as big as the indoor space.
No dishwasher. Can sit about 5 comfortably in living room/ kitchen area - the open concept room in the front half of house. The other half of the house is a bathroom, a laundry closet, and two bedrooms.
AC is a true need in 115 degree Phoenix. We have that.
We love it here. Not crowded. Just right. We are comfortable with our own children staying with us in the spare room. Other people can get a hotel.
in your post you asked about "roughing it." IMHO, if a house has electricity and indoor plumbing, it's not "roughing it." I don't know how old your grandkids are, but they (and maybe even their parents) might think it's a lark to sleep in a tent in the back yard when they visit in the summer. My "guest room" is an inflatable queen-size mattress that inflates up to bed height. What I'm trying to say is: your house is JUST FINE.
Teacher Terry
8-2-18, 9:41pm
Catherine, I love to purge. It is fun. You can private message me and I would be willing to help. However, be prepared I come with a 5lb killer Maltese!
When we were first married my XDH and I lived in a guesthouse. There were a shower, toilet and sink in the bathroom and a small alcove with a minifridge and microwave on top of it. We washed dishes in the bathroom sink. Someone also gave us a toaster oven as a wedding gift.
This was in south Florida and we had one room air conditioner, no pool. We basically lived in one room, the living room, because the other room/bedroom had no power.
The biggest challenges were birds coming in through a hole in the ceiling from the laundry room that had common walls with us.
On the plus side we were just minutes from the beach.
And no, the close quarters are not why we got divorced. That came 4 years later in bigger digs.
I think about this a lot. Standards have just gone off the charts. We went from a 1500 sf home that seemed just the right size to the current 2100 sf house and it is TOO big. I am finding that empty spaces don't feel right so I am filling them up even though that was not my intention. We do have a tiny master bath but it serves it purpose as the necessary room. Since I am stuck in this big house for now, I am making every effort to at least furnish and decorate with used whenever I can. I would be perfectly content in 800-1200 if it was laid out efficiently. It is hard to find small, stand alone houses.
Suburbs probably don’t have small houses. But here in central Phoenix in the 80-100 year old neighborhoods, there’s lots of 1200 sq ft and less houses. However people are often loath to live in the “dangerous neighborhoods”.
iris lilies
8-2-18, 11:40pm
Also, continuing the conversation of oir Hermann house renovation, we may end up living full time there.
I guess I just have to laugh about all the current discussions on house sizes and expectations. My parents moved to Alaska in 1953 and bought around a 750 or so sq. foot home with 2 bedrooms, one tiny bathroom and a partial basement. At the time they had one child. 3 more kids later and they had added one bedroom expanded the dinette area to a dining/desk space with unfinished basement area underneath. That is all. We all survived and actually thrived.
But the caveat was we spent most of our time outside all year around. I think the gangs of kids scared away any wild animals. Inside, we could play in our small bedrooms, read, study in dining area, etc.
When my hubby and I got married at 19/20, we lived in an illegally converted db. car garage and thought we had gone to heaven. Again, in Alaska and expectations were that the living space was safe and heated and that was pretty much all.
One bathroom can fill the needs of even a large family....until one or more gets the flu.
No... don't tell me that!
IL: Yes, that was the very logical course of action for me. I don't get why people would be offended or unwilling to sleep somewhere else and still get together during the day. I'm inclined to be like the Nearings, who said that people liked to come by, but not stay, because they had to work and the food wasn't great. She told them "suit yourself" and felt no guilt when they left early. It was her life, after all. And that's how I'm feeling these days.
Having had this experience when invited to family events, arriving to find out we are in a hotel (at our own expense which is NOT my issue).....it does feel quite different. You wake up in a hotel, make coffee IF it is provided, shower get dressed, wait for a phone call or text that says "we're up, come on over, get in car, drive to "the home" where everyone has been up chatting and catching up for awhile, comfy in their jammies or shorts or sweats and you feel like you've missed out on half the day. and the reverse in the evening. Now if it's close walking distance allowing a stroll over in jammies that is different.
Don't get me wrong, we have only 1 guest room in each city and mountain home. Well, the cabin has an open loft with a double bed so we could have 4 guests in beds. We did not buy for a bunch of guests a few days each year.
When we visited DD2 and her DH, we stayed at a hotel because it was easier for my DH with a bad knee. We left for some space time on our own and gave them space as well. We set a time for coming back. May I suggest that it is not the hotel that is the problem but the communication between the parties? Our DSIL would state the time to come to help prepare for wonderful crepes that he made for Breakfast or any the other meals. We made out choices accordingly. I never expected either as a host or guest to have full-time access to another's time.
Sorry to hear that this has become an issue but talking it through will resolve it, I hope.
For me, an absolute must-have is my own office with a door that shuts firmly. And a washer-dryer. I don't need (or want) to pay extra for a formal dining room or a guest room. If people desperately want to stay with us (they don't), they can sleep on our very comfortable sofa! As my family all ages together, we all want more and more privacy and don't want the pressure of being a good guest!
Teacher Terry
8-3-18, 12:56pm
I raised 3 kids in a 1 bathroom house. We enjoy guests and we have a guest room and a RV. If we have more people than 4 they have to get a room. On this last trip friends offered to put us up but we had 3 dogs and 1 was 80lb shedding machine so we declined.
So, thinking about what you guys have been saying, it seems some people are affronted if they are asked to get a room (even if paid for by the host), but some circumstances may warrant it.. like the shedding machine of a dog, in which case the guest may respectfully offer to stay elsewhere.
We have two bedrooms, so I can easily accommodate another couple, and we actually can sleep 6 total. The one bathroom thing could be problematic, but in our bigger house in NJ, we only have 1.5 baths. The bathroom upstairs has dual entry into the hall and our bedroom, which I think is awkward. If you are the guest and you have to flush the toilet in the middle of the night, you might be afraid of waking up the hosts. I really don't like that set-up, and in fact, I've seriously considered turning the smallest bedroom upstairs into a bathroom, so that there would be two bedrooms upstairs, each with its own bathroom. My realtor advised me not to lose a 3rd bedroom, but we have a big bonus room downstairs (with an attached half-bath), so we wouldn't really be losing a third bedroom, we'd be losing a fourth.
But there are the guests (and I happen to be one) who prefer NOT to stay at other people's houses, and my DH is DEFINITELY with me on that. When we have our mini-college reunion with 8 couples, usually some people stay with the hosting couple and others volunteer to get a hotel, and I always volunteer--unless our multimillionaire friend is hosting, because she has 3 homes and each home has 5 bedrooms, and each bedroom has its own en-suite. But I just don't like imposing on people, and I think even the nicest hosts need a little alone time when people visit.
To each his own.
Our house was about 750 feet when we bought it and we added a 170 ft room, so still under 1000 SF. There are only 2 of us, so it works, although it has been challenging to figure out how to best use the space (old house with awkward floor plan). Challenges can be fun though!
Had a wonderful thing happen today--a friend/client of mine texted saying she was very close by on her way to Montreal and would she and her husband be able stop by? I was thrilled! First of all, my kids were here yesterday and I had a lot of stuff I could offer in terms of snacks, including fresh vegetables from my garden and maple yogurt. Second, it's so rare for friends from NYC area to "stop by" 26 miles from Canada!!
We had a great time. I provided Vermont cheese, and my own veggies and crackers and fresh iced tea. But as usual, I felt a little "insecure" about how I measured up by today's standards. I apologized right away about the fact that I haven't started renovating. I apologized for no air conditioning on a hot day. I noticed that my friend's husband would often "rescue" my friend from an insect invader--insects don't bother me much.
So the visit reinforced that:
1) people really need "creature comforts" which sometimes mean "I like nature as long as it doesn't bug me" and
2) I have lower standards than most people. They came from NYC and I'm from NJ, so I imagine that they expected a different picture, but, sorry, that's not me.
I think they really enjoyed fresh iced tea with the lake view, but they're probably thrilled they're in their air-conditioned apartment in Montreal.
So the visit reinforced that:
1) people really need "creature comforts" which sometimes mean "I like nature as long as it doesn't bug me" and
2) I have lower standards than most people. They came from NYC and I'm from NJ, so I imagine that they expected a different picture, but, sorry, that's not me.
Did it? Or are you projecting? :)
Did they really say awful things about your place or is that all in your head?
Did it? Or are you projecting? :)
Did they really say awful things about your place or is that all in your head?
It's all in my head, I'm sure. Thanks for pointing that out. But it's still hard to think that there isn't some truth to it. The point is, should I care?
I know I would be impressed with quiet surroundings, good food, and a lake view. When you don't have AC, you mostly just shrug off the heat--it just makes the return of cool Autumn that much sweeter.
Your place sounds perfectly fine to me. A friend of mine had an 800 sq. ft. cottage--painted purple. It was set back from the street on a large fenced lot. It was really a special place.
Cath, IMO anyway, it is not about what others think. What do you think about your place? Does it measure up to what you want in your place? It seems that you are trying to judge yourself through others' eyes. You need to see 'the you that you want to be', in the home that you want, set up the way that you want. I don't think that you are there yet. Relax, you will get there.
One day you will know in your heart, I am as I am and I like it.
I feel that way finally and it is wonderfully freeing. I am living my life for me. I give to others in my way, drop everything when I feel that I need to do so.
Teacher Terry
8-6-18, 8:14pm
When I go to someone’s home I go to visit them and not judge them. I really don’t care unless the house is so dirty or messy that it leaves me uncomfortable. You just bought your cottage and it will take time to get it how you want. I love being able to have a lake view.
I'd have to have a/c - due to both allergies and dislike of being hot.
Comfort standards have changed too. There was a time that very few had AC here in Colorado since we are at 6000+ ft. The house we bought does not have one and we have adjusted to a few weeks of daytime highs in the lower 90s. DD complained a bit last summer when she came to visit that it was kind of warm. All the new houses here have AC. I can't see spending thousands for a few weeks of uncomfortable in the summer. Perhaps a window unit in the bedroom if the temps keep rising. AS far as guests coming, I will mention it to them and if they have to be cool at all times, they can get a hotel room.
Just a heads up on the airconditioning issue--my pulmonologist said it is a necessity for someone with my lungs, so it is probably a necessity for many, and not a matter of sucking it up. Just something to think about.
And no, we don;t have it, but we do have one window unit and I sleep in there and it helps.
I apologized right away about the fact that I haven't started renovating. I apologized for no air conditioning on a hot day. I noticed that my friend's husband would often "rescue" my friend from an insect invader--insects don't bother me much.
Why would you apologize for your choices? This is not something I understand at all. Are YOU uncomfortable with it and your projecting this onto your guests?
Teacher Terry
8-7-18, 10:23am
My folks first had to put in a window air conditioner and eventually central air because he had severe emphysema. Also with global warming it is hotter for longer periods of time than before. At 4500!ft we rarely used it 20 years ago and now need it all summer. We do turn it off at night because our house is usually cool enough. I have moderate asthma so can’t leave window open either.
I saw on the news tonight that Seattle is experiencing record heat and only a third of the homes there have air conditioning.
Many places do not have it, and I have read after a couple of weeks the body adjusts. When I was a kid I did not have air conditioning at home, school, in the car, or anywhere and ran around all day long in the summer. But it is hard now that I am used to it at work and in the car to get out of it into a hot house.
Do people with respiratory issues in other places just die? Consider Haiti, where you might get a couple hours of electricity and then the power goes out. And when they visited my relatives said it was extremely hot and humid there.
We've had maybe a week of what i consider hot temperatures (Seattle suburb), and we seem to be heading into another one. I don't have AC at the moment, and I've only found one night uncomfortable. I grew up without it, and don't really require it.
Teacher Terry
8-7-18, 7:50pm
Yes many people with asthma and other respiratory issues die every summer in poor communities with out air. Also the fires without air causes real health issues. I dealt with heat no issues when young and never had air. Now I get overheated and sick much quicker as I have aged. Also need to be inside without windows open when fires are occurring. Can’t do that without air.
Definitely, many people with emphysema die in summer in hot climates; two of my grandparents did. This was prior to air conditioning, in Savannah.
My dad has lived eight years longer than his dad, and his emphysema is worse. But they have airconditioning.
If we lived somewhere like NJ with long hot summers again I'd want a/c. Northern vermont, no, I'd probably be fine without. I assume that, like San Francisco, there are some hot days but mostly not. Although I say this knowing that we luckily happened to be out of town last summer when there were several days in a row over over 100 degree temps.
The reality is that a/c everywhere/all the time where it's regularly hot is really only a generation old. When I was in college in Miami in the late 80's the on campus apartments didn't have it. One could buy a window a/c (and electricity was included in the rent) but I had plenty of friends who lived in those apartments without it. Or with it only in the bedrooms. And even more friends who had cars without a/c or at least without working a/c. That was just life.
Getting back to the OP. Catherine, if you're happy with your new house that's all that matters. (and frankly, it sounds lovely!) Worst case scenario some of your friends who come to visit may think you're "quirky" or be baffled by your decision on how to live. But they aren't living there. Or paying the bills. You are.
And regarding staying at someone's home vs. getting a room, that's totally a personal preference. Personally I prefer the comfort of a hotel room nearby. SO is in agreement on that. And since he works for a major hotel company and gets super-awesome discounts that's what we do. And when people come to visit us they stay in the hotel he works at.
Our high so far this year has been in the low nineties, and that not often. Somewhat hotter than normal, certainly drier than normal, but not unbearably so.
We spend far too much time between 90-105 to go without A/C. I started working in the OR at age 19 at 68F or under. Then when perimenopause hot flashes started I couldn't stand the house even at 78 degrees anymore. We live at 74 and even cooler at night or this girl doesn't sleep. 57 and still have those night sweats:( I am grateful we can afford to cool the house (power is cheap in Idaho.)
We just had visitors (DIL and her 2 kids) here from Ohio, her first time out here in the Pac NW. She told us the thing she found most interesting here was that there were so few swimming pools in peoples' yards. She said where she lives that's the status symbol, but here everyone has vegetable gardens and that's what people talk about. Ha!
Like Jane, we haven't had record temps down here, but the unusually long extended dry period is the concern. Such a fire hazard. We have AC in our house, but I hate it. DH cranks it up to where I'm wearing a sweater indoors in the evening. I sometimes go outside and read on the porch instead.
Feel badly our yard is so brown. I do keep my small flowerbeds and my new tree watered, though.
Catherine,
If anyone thinks you are quirky based upon your housing, etc., I would rather be quirky than plain vanilla! It is much more interesting. And you must get past the idea that people are judging you. Maybe they are and maybe they aren't. Who cares? To each her own. I currently live in a 720 sq ft apartment and it has everything I need, except more windows. I can live small but I need lots of light. My previous home that I owned was just under 1300 sq ft and it had huge windows everywhere. Unfortunately, I had to sell my beautiful townhouse because of a serious lung disease. But I recovered and I am so grateful. I lost a lot of my savings also. I'm retired and at 74 years I will not be owning another house. I have had to adjust to this chain of events and it has humbled me. People may be judging me for the way I live now, but I have learned to disregard those thoughts. I concentrate on gratitude - the best antidote for negative thoughts. Just my thoughts. Sorry if I got off topic.
Linda (in SoCal)
Catherine,
If anyone thinks you are quirky based upon your housing, etc., I would rather be quirky than plain vanilla! It is much more interesting. And you must get past the idea that people are judging you. Maybe they are and maybe they aren't. Who cares? To each her own. I currently live in a 720 sq ft apartment and it has everything I need, except more windows. I can live small but I need lots of light. My previous home that I owned was just under 1300 sq ft and it had huge windows everywhere. Unfortunately, I had to sell my beautiful townhouse because of a serious lung disease. But I recovered and I am so grateful. I lost a lot of my savings also. I'm retired and at 74 years I will not be owning another house. I have had to adjust to this chain of events and it has humbled me. People may be judging me for the way I live now, but I have learned to disregard those thoughts. I concentrate on gratitude - the best antidote for negative thoughts. Just my thoughts. Sorry if I got off topic.
Linda (in SoCal)
Hey Linda, glad you are feeling better and making a great recovery!
Teacher Terry
8-9-18, 10:34pm
Linda, I am glad you are well. I am sorry you had financial issues but health is more important than things. I never value myself by where I live. If I have a clean safe place I am good.
catherine
8-10-18, 10:16am
Thanks for all the encouragement.
Linda, thanks so much for the support--I am so glad things have worked out for you health wise. I'm sorry you were forced to downsize.. but it sounds like it is working for you. I, too, won't have a heck of a lot to live on going forward, but I'm finding I need very little, and that is a very freeing lesson.
Catherine, if you're happy with your new house that's all that matters. (and frankly, it sounds lovely!) Worst case scenario some of your friends who come to visit may think you're "quirky" or be baffled by your decision on how to live. But they aren't living there. Or paying the bills. You are.
Why would you apologize for your choices? This is not something I understand at all. Are YOU uncomfortable with it and your projecting this onto your guests?
Thanks, jp1 and Gardnr--and to answer your question, Gardnr, of course you are right. I shouldn't apologize at all. Frankly, this is a dream house for me. But I'm doing just what you said, I'm projecting what other people are probably thinking ("What? She hasn't brought in the construction team to turn this old cabin into something modern? What the hell is she waiting for?")
I'm personally very much at peace with where I am at this moment with it. In fact last night I was thinking that there's no point in doing anything else this year. Next year it is very likely that we will be purging the contents of our house in NJ. There are very few pieces I really want to keep, so rather than buy anything more for this house, I'm going to meld the two houses and then decide what I need.
Regarding creature comforts, there are two big ones: 1) the "SHATH"--as I mentioned earlier, I don't have any overhead shower, just a hand shower hose and a clawfoot tub, so we have to get in the tub and then spritz off in less than 3 minutes when our 10 gallons of hot water is used up. It can wait until next year. 2) As far as the AC goes, I understand what you guys are saying about some people needing it for health reasons, but I'm not there yet, and I won't buy an AC for guests--at least not yet. I went without AC for 4 years when our central unit in NJ broke down and we managed. Plus there's no aesthetically pleasing place to put it. It truly hasn't been that bad up here. Maybe 2 nights. It helps that we are on the lake.
So, I guess where I net out is, I am willing to at least work on my insecure knee-jerk reactions that people think I've gone from suburban "housewife of New Jersey" to country hillbilly.
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