The Impossible Task

[JaneV2.0]

M. Molly Backes on Twitter started a thread about "the impossible task." which could be something as simple as paying bills or scheduling a task. for a person with depression:

"The Impossible Task is rarely actually difficult. It’s something you’ve done a thousand times. For this reason, it’s hard for outsiders to have sympathy. “Why don’t you just do it & get it over with?” “It would take you like 20 minutes & then it would be done.” OH, WE KNOW. If you’re grappling with an Impossible Task, you already have these conversations happening in your brain. Plus, there’s probably an even more helpful voice in your brain reminding you of what a screw up you are for not being able to do this seemingly very simple thing."
"

I think she nailed it.

[Zoe Girl]

OMG, this is my life.

Seriously,

I can recognize when I am getting to an impossible task, sometimes I understand the larger picture and how to work around it to still get it done. And I still can't explain to anyone what is happening in a way that makes sense, gets understanding, or just plain help! It is at the point where I have pushed through so much for so many years that I don't want any help most of the time. A major part of my job implosion, that is a longer story that I am leaving behind in the compost.

Bills are the worst, I almost brought my basket of paperwork to a counselors office one time so I could just manage the anxiety about it all. Now I take the fast acting anxiety med if I need it to pay bills or check bank balances.

Can we give her some kind of award or gift card for posting this,

[JaneV2.0]

She got lots of readers and retweets. I know nothing about how Twitter works; I just stumbled on this gem.

She suggests getting help from a friend. So far, the only Impossible Task I haven't been able to (eventually) surmount is getting out of this house; I'm afraid it will only be accomplished feet first.

[Williamsmith]

I finally super glued the decorative part of my bike helmet that kept falling off. It doesn’t provide any added safety to the black styrofoam like substance underneath but it sure seems to make me go faster and look more like I know what I doing. While not technically related to depression, I was feeling a little guilty about how long it was taking me.

[beckyliz]

I read that entire post - it was eye opening. A lot of the people who replied felt such relief in recognizing that in themselves. They realized they weren't actually lazy or good-for-nothing like they'd been told all along.

[Chicken lady]

For me the impossible task changes. And whatever it is just gets bigger and bigger the longer I don’t do it. I guess I have recognized that it was depression in a way, but then, in another way, it never makes sense to me because I can do a bunch of other tasks, some of which are actually harder than the impossible task.

unless the impossible task has established itself as the thing I have to do before I can do anything else. In which case I am blocked, not because any other particular task is too daunting, but because I can’t do anything else yet.

when I just can’t do anything - THAT I have no trouble immediately recognizing as depression.

[SteveinMN]

Thought I'd responded to this post earlier, but I guess not.

"The impossible task" certainly resonates with me. I'm not sure, though, if it's a product of depression or "perfect is the enemy of good" or what.

Sometimes (many times) it's the idea that the project could take 20 minutes or it could take three hours, a trip to a store for stuff I need but don't have on hand, and something like "I've never seen that before" or "Hmm. The instructions don't mention this at all!". I'm afraid of the 20-minute project turning into a minor fiasco. I have enough things to do that will take a while or come at some risk (if I do screw it up, it will cost even more to fix); I really do not look forward to discovering more of them.

ETA I see I responded partially on the "Easing back in" thread.

[Zoe Girl]

I think for me impossible tasks are when I have tried to do many simple tasks that appear to take a short time, and then they explode with complications. So rather than do them quickly when I have limited time I put them off until I have a lot of time just in case. Then at least I am not freaking out when something goes wrong.

Some financial stuff is easier than others, I paid student loan and cell bill today, then got a bill from the counselor I had been seeing so that is another $260. But I can do it and still put money in savings. Sometimes however the impossible thing is making phone calls, or having conversations or who knows. If I have enough space between tasks I am usually better, being rushed or time crunched is almost always bad.

[Gardenarian]

That sounds just terrible. The older I get the more thankful I am I have been spared the nightmare of depression.
My heart goes out to all who are living with this heavy burden.

[JaneV2.0]

That sounds just terrible. The older I get the more thankful I am I have been spared the nightmare of depression.
My heart goes out to all who are living with this heavy burden.

We all have strengths and challenges. some more than others. Although I'm an underachiever par excellence, I wouldn't trade places with anyone; I'm comfortable with my limitations. At least my mental ones.

[mschrisgo2]

When I have had weeks of great thyroid insufficiency, I have something that looks kind of like Depression, and actually it is the body conserving energy for essential functions. During this time, I simply cannot move my body to do what is important- because every task is assumed equal importance, and the one (whatever) I'm doing is perceived to be the easiest to continue. This can lead to overeating, oversleeping, over-reading, over-surfing the web, etc. some more benign than the others, but anything really important falls away.

[JaneV2.0]

When I have had weeks of great thyroid insufficiency, I have something that looks kind of like Depression, and actually it is the body conserving energy for essential functions. During this time, I simply cannot move my body to do what is important- because every task is assumed equal importance, and the one (whatever) I'm doing is perceived to be the easiest to continue. This can lead to overeating, oversleeping, over-reading, over-surfing the web, etc. some more benign than the others, but anything really important falls away.

I'm convinced my "depression" is thyroid-related, as well (probably true for lots of people). I don't feel sad; I'm generally pretty sanguine. I tried medication for awhile, didn't find it particularly useful, wasn't willing to take on the years of adjustments, etc., and my relatives who do take medication aren't in any better shape than I am.

[happystuff]

I have no thyroid. It's hard for some people to understand how far-reaching thyroid issues are - depression, weight gain, mood swings, lethargy - actually downright exhaustion, etc... and trying to get a handle on medication is a life-long rollercoaster ride. For example, I finally managed to loose some weight, only to go to my annual check-up and find out that because I lost the weight, my meds need to change. So now I have another 6-8 weeks before testing to see if the change will be effective and trying to NOT put the weight back on, etc. If you are depressed and tired - get your thyroid checked. It's just a blood test.

[JaneV2.0]

I've heard/read anecdotal reports of people achieving improved thyroid function with diet changes, e.g. intermittent fasting, keto, wheat avoidance, etc.

My experience with Synthroid (which is a poor substitute for natural thyroid, IMO) suggested that wasn't the answer for me. I'm not interested in being obliged to visit a doctor on a regular basis, anyway.

[ApatheticNoMore]

I have had my thryroid checked but mostly just for menstrual irregularities plus family history of people who actually do have thyroid problems. But my thyroid was fine, the symptoms were determined to most likely be one of the known effects of an IUD.

[nswef]

I've been on thyroid medication since I was a teen...took me off it in my 30s and within 6 months it was very clear I still needed it. I haven't had any trouble since- blood test once a year and dr. visit. I look at all the other options and wonder if they would give me more energy....but not willing yet to see. I know someone here is using a nutritionist and I saw one in the paper that I thought might be worth visiting.

[JaneV2.0]

The Iodine Crisis by Farrow and Brownstein might be worth reading.

[nswef]

When I was 16 I drank iodine daily...but then not again, so not sure why.

[debbie]

Back to the impossible task, I remember reading 2 things that helped me. First do the ickiest thing first, and second if it takes less than 1 minute, do it immediately. I don't like phone calls so I force myself to do first. Especially the ones to cable/phone co. I don't dislike doing dishes but used to stack them till there were a bunch. (No dishwasher) Now it's a habit and I never have to face them in the morning. But my hands are always wet haha!

[Chicken lady]

I have three impossible tasks right now:

cleaning the guest room - will take 20 minutes, maybe half an hour. Don’t want to do it. No mystery, dh parents are coming next weekend. I would prefer they didn’t.

cleaning out stalls - actual huge overwhelming task that will remind me once again that I am getting old and out of shape. Also, I have been having to do extra cleaning because I have one stall with a goat seperated out because she is sick and simply will not get better. Three vet contacts, four rounds of medication, multiple temporary improvements - if this were a “real” farm I would have culled her and been done already.

making pottery - if I don’t get some stuff done soon I am going to miss/waste an opportunity, but I am stressed about it because it feels like a selfish use of my time.

[JaneV2.0]

Have your husband clean the guest room. Hire a kid to muck out the stalls. Grab your muse and get started on the pottery. There, done.

[Chicken lady]

I don’t know any kids who are willing to clean stalls. Even my farmsitter’s family hires the job out to a guy with a front end loader. You can’t get a front end loader into my stalls. I am not comfortable with an ad.

also, I feel a little like my grandmother, who insisted on going up and down her staircase every day until her late nineties “it gets harder, but if I stop, I will never be able to do it again.”

if I knew a competent, willing kid, I would hire them to help me.

dh can’t clean the guest room without supervision because he has literally no idea where any of the spread out mess goes. He can vacuum and fix the bed if I do the rest first. I am willing to skip the vacuuming and hand my inlaws a set of clean sheets. They invited themselves.

[Teacher Terry]

My friend and I would clean out horse stalls every Saturday at a horse riding stable in exchange for a free hour ride. That way we didn’t have to spend our allowance. But kids are spoiled now. We used a bunch of day labor guys when we landscaped our back yard. The job got done in just a few weekends and at the time our yard was a 4th of a acre. The downside was no one had a vehicle so DH had to drive them both ways and I made everyone lunch.

[iris lilies]

My friend and I would clean out horse stalls every Saturday at a horse riding stable in exchange for a free hour ride. That way we didn’t have to spend our allowance. But kids are spoiled now. We used a bunch of day labor guys when we landscaped our back yard. The job got done in just a few weekends and at the time our yard was a 4th of a acre. The downside was no one had a vehicle so DH had to drive them both ways and I made everyone lunch.

We did that with DH’s coworkers, documented Mexicans. They moonlghted on weekends and we hired them for a big job, deove them to and fro, gave them lunch.

[Zoe Girl]

I recall recovering from a back injury and not being able to iron. My ex's dress shirts for work really needed to be ironed. I tried to call some of my friends I knew when I homeschooled thinking that one of them would have a child who wanted to do some ironing for pay, and no one knew how or wanted to. So then I sent my ex to the dry cleaners because I knew that they would do shirts, and he said they didn't. When I was up and moving I picked up the flyer proving they did shirts and then taught him how to iron. I ended up taking walks while he ironed because he would struggle so much it was hard to not jump in. Sigh, all that niceness from me probably explains why I am divorced though!

Okay the point was I couldn't find a teen or someone who wanted the work,

[Chicken lady]

There are more and more farms around here going to large round bales or selling square bales only from the field because they can’t find enough people willing to load hay bales onto wagons at a price that would allow a profit. Last year a friend cut her hay and mulched it in the field because she couldn’t find labor. She ended up having to buy hay at the end of the year, but it was cheaper than what she would have lost renting a baler and not being able to sell the extra because she couldn’t get it loaded and stored.

i cleaned stalls to ride too. I don’t have horses. That got it out of my system. (Also i’m now Banned from riding due to fragile retinas)

getting too tired and too out of breath too fast, but pushing through - water break right now.

[Teacher Terry]

This type of work is what the illegals have always done. Keeping them out comes at a cost.

[Chicken lady]

Did stall minimum.

After my my shower I will do some housekeeping and maybe the guest room.

[Chicken lady]

Worked on pottery today. Did not make the kind of progress I wanted, but made some discoveries (learned some things) and wrote them down. This is also progress.