"There's No Place Like Home"

[catherine]

This is what I was feeling, and what I said tonight, to my new summer friends.

I had a very busy week: starting with a delayed flight from BTV to EWR. Then I found myself in Newark not knowing how to get home--I preferred the train because it was pouring in Newark but I missed the Amtrak train into Philly I was trying to get. I wound up at my NJ home after having driven through the rain 40 miles.

Next day a very stressful first day of research followed by a second. More rain. More driving.

Next day, catch up day at home to keep up with 4 projects.

Next day, a presentation delivery from my car at 8am in the parking lot of a fast food place that wasn't opened yet but where luckily I could get WiFi, because I had to make sure I delivered a great presentation and then get on an 11:00 plane to Houston for a different client.

Houston Thursday and Friday. Too much client time for me--as an introvert. I saw my power waning through two days of meetings + dinners as quickly as the the little blue lights on the power pack I always keep in my computer bag. But still, I was wired at the end of the day, needing to decompress.

I heard early in the week that my very favorite aunt with whom I am extremely close, is in hospice. No immediate reason--just old age and frailty. So I decided on Friday that rather than go to my NJ home, I'd stay in a hotel in Newark and get up early and drive to the Connecticut facility she's in and then drive up to VT. I saw her.. she is very, very frail, but her beautiful blue eyes light up and she still has some sense of humor. I'm devastated about losing her. I was her flower girl, but she is my soul sister.

So I drove 4 hours to Vermont by way of New Haven, dropped off the rental car at BTV and then called Uber to take me 40 minutes to the islands. I was afraid he'd refuse (if he can). He's got a good gig with the college crowd in Burlington, but he didn't refuse.

The icing on the cake of the whole darned week was when I directed the Uber driver to my house down the narrow dirt road, and across the gravel path I saw 5 shadows--my neighbors and DH sitting around the weekend fire pit. I stepped out of the Jeep Cherokee and they all started in a chorus: "Catherine!!! Catherine! What a great surprise!! Come on over! [J...] missed you and so did we!!" They offered me moonshine (really) and fresh baked cookies.

Wow. I had felt all week that I really wanted to get back to VT. And when I drove up 89, and viewed the ribbon of road framed by grey/green mountain peaks, I wanted to be "home." I finally made it up here, and my neighbors confirmed for me that I am, indeed, home.

I'm not looking forward to the winter in NJ.

[Teacher Terry]

So maybe you need to make Vermont permanent and sell the New Jersey home.

[catherine]

So maybe you need to make Vermont permanent and sell the New Jersey home.

Yes, TT. I am more and more sure that's what I need to do.

[Teacher Terry]

Seriously my husband and I could come help you declutter in a exchange for a place to stay so we could explore and enjoy the area. I have helped many people sell their stuff and move on.

[Ultralight]

Home is an intriguing concept.

[Tybee]

Catherine, i second Teacher Terry's offer and maybe we could both come help--what fun!

[happystuff]

Catherine, I'm in NJ and have always wanted to move to VT. You are living my dream! LOL. What a wonderful, warm welcome after a long week.

[catherine]

TT and Tybee--that would be fun! I'll think about it! Thanks for the offer.

happystuff, this dream was a long time in the making for me, so there's always hope for yours! NJ was great while it lasted--I have lived there 33 years, so it's not that I don't love NJ, too, it's just that it has outlived its usefulness.

UL: Yes, I agree. "Home" is a very interesting concept. I'm fascinated by it, actually. One of my very favorite movies/books is House of Sand and Fog. Very intense movie about what "home" meant to two completely different people.

[iris lilies]

Awwww, nice! Two houses are expensive, so get rid of that NJ property asap.

Like you have said, if VT is just too cold and isolated in winter you can rent a place elsewhere.

[Teacher Terry]

Tybee, that would be fun with the 3 of us!

[Williamsmith]

Awwww, nice! Two houses are expensive, so get rid of that NJ property asap.

Like you have said, if VT is just too cold and isolated in winter you can rent a place elsewhere.

It would be a challenge for even a severe winter person like me to tough out the VT scenario Catherine is facing. I’d want a serious review of snow removal plans, access by road and an examination of the infrastructure of that house before winter settles in. It sounds like the perfect three season place.....it’s that fourth season that can challenge the hardiest souls.

[iris lilies]

It would be a challenge for even a severe winter person like me to tough out the VT scenario Catherine is facing. I’d want a serious review of snow removal plans, access by road and an examination of the infrastructure of that house before winter settles in. It sounds like the perfect three season place.....it’s that fourth season that can challenge the hardiest souls.


Agreed. I doubt it is sustainable in winter for many years, but her plan to rent elsewhere is reasonable. What would that be, 5 months? November thru March? It has been so long since I lived in a place with real winters,
I forget when winter arrives and shuts everything down.

[Teacher Terry]

Also Catherine I think you and DH are going to have to decide what you are keeping and what you will sell, donate, etc. That will be hard as you have decades of accumulated stuff to make decisions about.

[Gardnr]

It would be a challenge for even a severe winter person like me to tough out the VT scenario Catherine is facing. I’d want a serious review of snow removal plans, access by road and an examination of the infrastructure of that house before winter settles in. It sounds like the perfect three season place.....it’s that fourth season that can challenge the hardiest souls.

The one service we pay for in the mountains is snow removal. 30" in one day happens at least every other year. If it is a big storm, we can get 4 feet in 3 days. A backhoer with a 5 yard bucket on it makes quick work of it.

We LOVE winter, snow and downhill skiing. There is no way I will live full time at our cabin when we retire. Hence the reason I love that both our homes are small, single level and manageable. Our average monthly housing/utility/phone/internet/maintenance cost-all in is just $1200/month-very affordable. Our emergency fund holds enough for major repair/replace of roof/furnace/AC/appliances moving forward. These are known future expenses about which we do not kid ourselves with delusions of forever lasting.

I might stay up north for 2 or 3 weeks in the winter, but not for the entire snow season which starts Nov 1 with full snow melt occurring mid April. On a regular basis the 4-10 feet of snow in our yard melts off in just 2 weeks.

[Teacher Terry]

I can see how 1200/month is reasonable if you are using the cabin as your vacation. Both my parents and in laws had one but we didn’t want either because we like to go different places.

[catherine]

Also Catherine I think you and DH are going to have to decide what you are keeping and what you will sell, donate, etc. That will be hard as you have decades of accumulated stuff to make decisions about.

Re stuff: When I went to NJ this past week I eyeballed the stuff in my house that I could relinquish and what I really want to keep. At this point I FEEL I don't HAVE to have a lot, but I could be wrong when push comes to shove. Some things I love, but won't fit into my decorating scheme here.

But furnishings won't be the problem--it will be sentimental stuff like kids' schoolwork, etc. I'm hoping I can neatly pack the stuff into their own containers and then just hand them over.

I really am starting to see my house as a Miss Havisham place--a little spooky with the stuff that I think I have to keep, but don't.

Re the winters: Yeah, that's a daunting thought. An off-season beach rental (1 BR) would be about 1200, so I'd have to build about 4800 into my yearly budget. Unless I could talk my NJ son into putting a Tiny House in his backyard. The people who owned the house up here lived in it full time. They had local snow removal people, and cords of wood. I have two big woodsheds, electric baseboard heat and one bedroom that heats up significantly in a passive solar way because there are a lot of windows facing south. (as we speak, I'm sitting in the "hot room" and sweating like a pig--it's at least 10 degrees warmer, even with all my curtains drawn). DH and I are thinking of doing a switcheroo--keep a summer bedroom and switch to a winter bedroom if we could somehow capture some of that passive heat. We are also seriously considering solar power because it's a small house and perfect for solar--a lot of direct sunlight facing in the right direction.

[Teacher Terry]

I would ask your kids what they actually want. Mine only took one folder of stuff. The rest I threw away. If no one else is near you in winter you might feel isolated. Also how will the roads be? When I lived in a small town in upstate NY they did a awesome job keeping the roads clear.

[Gardnr]

I can see how 1200/month is reasonable if you are using the cabin as your vacation. Both my parents and in laws had one but we didn’t want either because we like to go different places.

We go for weekends, most holiday long weekends and occasionally vacation time such as the winter carnival celebration when family comes from out of state. Vacations are generally seeing other states or other parts of our state.

I don't know anyone personally who spends less than $1200/month on a single home let alone 2.

[Teacher Terry]

We spend less than half of that on our home. But our property taxes are low.

[Gardnr]

We spend less than half of that on our home. But our property taxes are low.

Sweet. So a similar cost per home. You're far ahead with no state income tax. Ours is 7.4% along with 6% sales tax while yours is 4.6%.

[Teacher Terry]

Our sales tax is over 8%.

[Gardnr]

Our sales tax is over 8%.

Weird, I checked online. sorry for my error-must have been an old year.

[Teacher Terry]

Our property taxes are stupid low at 700/year. The house is valued between 350-400k. I wonder if the sales tax different in different counties.

[Gardnr]

Our property taxes are stupid low at 700/year. The house is valued between 350-400k. I wonder if the sales tax different in different counties.

Holy cow that's low. We're $5200 for both and value of each is 275-300k. And I thought our taxes were low!

[Teacher Terry]

Taxes are partially based on age of home and ours was built in 1950. Would be higher if newer.

[boss mare]

Taxes are partially based on age of home and ours was built in 1950. Would be higher if newer.

I have to disagree with you on that … My previous house I purchased in 1989 I paid 125k for it and the taxes were 1500. I sold in 2003 for 500K and my taxes were over 5000. no remodel or up grades to make the value go up

It sold 2 years ago for over one million as a tear down. It was built in 1978. one acre, 1700 sq ft 3 bdrm 2 full bath, 2+ car attached garage with a 4 stall monitor style barn. There is now 5 houses on it and they are priced in the mid 900K each

[Teacher Terry]

Boss, I am talking Nevada only. Here the age of the home is factored into the tax formula. I have lived in 5 other states that did Not do that. When I lived in a newer house not worth as much my taxes were higher.

[Ultralight]

The feeling of being "home" in an actual house is not something I understand. Please describe it.

I think I understand the general feeling of being "home" though. I remember feeling a certain emotional sensation when I was married and we had both Harlan and Lilith. I remember thinking: "This is what it feels like to be at home."

But the feeling was just being with my then wife and both my pups.

I had not felt that way before.

But I will say I had a feeling akin to "home" in Israel. I just felt so comfortable and happy there. I did not want to leave. I did not want to go back to the US. I only missed my dog.