Log in

View Full Version : this is burdening me



Zoe Girl
9-25-18, 10:34am
In my first focus I would like to say that I am still really enjoying my new job. We have the same priorities, ratio and safety above all else! I still talk to my former staff because we are friends, and I am okay being a listening ear. I have heard some things and not gotten worked up at all, and right now I am not worked up but this is really burdening me.

They had a full day yesterday with the type of minimal staffing I was told to do. That is the reason I worked 11 hours most full days, it just was not safe. The program yesterday was supposed to be staffed with only one person until 9 am, 30 kids registered. You get over the 15-1 ratio long before 9 am. Then my former sup and new PS had their weekly meeting during program, so she was not available to program (which I would never do). Then I found out that they had new students and no paperwork so they only knew about a peanut allergy when a mom said something to the staff. One of the big reasons to have a break down and leave for me was having students with no registration paperwork, I will never knowingly run a program like that.

There are other little things that sound like the program does not have the quantity or quality I had, that is fine. There are rumors about me that are crappy, I don't care much. Many things I hear and let go of easily because I enjoy my new position and am regaining confidence. I have energy and a real life outside of work!

So it is none of my business, and I have no credibility with anyone, and I am concerned about my new job and reputation if I did find a way to report this to someone. It is just laying heavy on me. I hope it does not come to an injury to get attention.

pinkytoe
9-25-18, 10:37am
I think you need to let go of the past and enjoy the present:)

Teacher Terry
9-25-18, 10:40am
I really understand because I have gotten worked up about stuff that really wasn’t my business. I think you have to totally disconnect from your old work place including hearing about it. You need some peace and can’t save the world and this is also my lesson that I too can’t seem to thoroughly learn. It’s scary that kids are at risk but sadly no good will come from you trying to fix this. I really understand but you must let it go.

Zoe Girl
9-25-18, 11:22am
Okay for those of you whoe are mandatory reporters what would you think, that is it more than caring about the rest. I already kinda forgot the rest, it is a gray area since it is second hand

Chicken lady
9-25-18, 11:50am
I am a mandatory reporter.

1) who is feeding you this information?
a - you need to ask them to stop because it is in no way helpful to you.
b - I am assuming this person is also a mandatory reporter, so AT MOST you can remind them that they are a mandatory reporter and that if they truly think the are seeing things that are a concern, you are not the person they should be informing.

2) there is a very good chance that the program you left is disfunctional at least and potentially dangerous
a - you are still not in a position to do anything about it
b - focusing on that is holding you back. Let go and focus on where you are now.

i once quit a job with no other means of support because I felt they were engaging in practices that were harmful to the children we served. No one cared, nothing changed, but I was able to move on and become a part of something better.

nswef
9-25-18, 11:51am
Second hand information isn't generally accepted as a valid reason for investigation. You cannot fix this. Try to let it go. I'm so glad your new job is such a good fit. Embrace it. enjoy it and let the past place go. You are not responsible for it.

Simplemind
9-25-18, 11:51am
You couldn't fix it when you were a part of it and you can't fix it when outside of it. You bent over backwards to make your concerns known while putting your finger in the dike and it fell on deaf ears. The responsibility for reporting now lies with the person currently being exploited who is witnessing it first hand.
It is so hard to let go of the feeling of responsibility when so much of your identity is tied to it. It takes awhile to close a chapter that has had a huge impact on your life physically, emotionally and professionally. The job lingers with you but you do not linger with the job, it goes on and either succeeds or fails without you.

nswef
9-25-18, 11:53am
Well said, Simplemind.

Tammy
9-25-18, 11:56am
Chicken lady’s response is perfect. I totally agree.

Teacher Terry
9-25-18, 12:06pm
I am a mandatory reporter but this is second hand information. You can’t do anything about it.

razz
9-25-18, 2:29pm
Let go! CL is absolutely right.

mschrisgo2
9-25-18, 3:22pm
Zoe, you are correct, it is a big burden, and an unfair one, since there is no way you can help that situation. If you decide you want to remain friends with your former staff person, I'd suggest having a simple, to the point conversation with her, along the lines of- "I can't continue to hear about how poorly the program is be being supervised and the possible lack of safety for the children. It is upsetting to me, and I know someone should either be providing coverage {as you did} or reporting it to protective services."

Beyond that, CL said it all very well.