How to Start a New Christmas Tradition: Minimalist Style?

[catherine]

We have historically been an over-the-top Christmas-giving family. Not sure why. My MIL, a very generous (yet also very frugal) person may have helped set the tone early on. Plus we bought very few things throughout the year and we tended to use Christmas to "catch up" on things we needed and wanted.

Last year my second son requested that we go really minimal. He and my DIL were expecting and they were watching their budgets. So we actually did pretty well with it.

This year, he reiterated that they are on a very tight budget, and that his in-laws are doing Secret Santa, and that his wife asked if we could go that route as well. My son told her "it will never happen."

Well, I toed the water by sending out a family email asking for Christmas "wish lists" and then saying that our (more) minimalist Christmas last year was a success and I absolutely didn't want stress about shopping and/or budgets to impair our Christmas cheer so I was open to any suggestions for keeping it simple--and among the things I mentioned (simple handmade things, dollar limits, gifts of time) I included Secret Santa.

I heard back from DIL who, predictably said that she's in favor of Secret Santa, but she knows that she's probably in the minority.

Does anyone have any creative suggestions for how to make everyone happy, and make gift giving fulfilling for the most number of people? Numbers of people concerned are about 10 adults and 3 little ones.

[iris lilies]

I am hopeless at offering ideas for “making gift giving fullfilling.” I cannot tell you how bored I was in putting together a wishlist to meet whatever dollar amount was determined as acceptable by DH’s family ( they drew names) and what a relief when that crap ended. Oh also I think we had to get a “stocking” (small present) for each person if I remember correctly.

And if there are still people in your group of 10 who like wish lists and shopping and piles of wrapped presents and etc, anything simpler will not “make them happy” but THIS is the time to make the change, when all of your children have their own households.

Also I don’t understand what “ Secret Santa “ means if it means you are still drawing names, But maybe you don’t normally draw names, everyone gets everyone a gift, so one person is buying 9 gifts? If so, Oh my, ugh. That is just extreme.

[Teacher Terry]

Most of my life we were under pressure to buy gifts for 40 people when we had little money. It sucked. That’s all gone with the people being gone. I would buy gifts for kids only.

[Simplemind]

I am so happy we gave up gift giving now that everybody is an adult. We only do Christmas socks because everybody's birthday is also within a week of Christmas (5 of them) and we make a bigger deal (gift wise) over the birthday which now they are all adults is cash. So we pick a day (usually the first Saturday of December) and have our holiday get together where we eat a potluck dinner, play board games and listen to Christmas music. Everybody is happy with this. At the end of the month we get together for another similar evening for the birthdays. We enjoy time over gifts.

[Yppej]

Yankee swap.

[rosarugosa]

I agree that a Yankee Swap is a good way to get maximum gift entertainment value for minimal effort and expenditure. We've eliminated gifts altogether for xmas and just do gifts for birthdays within our immediate families.

[Ultralight]

Gift giving amongst adults has always seemed a little hard to understand for me. If an adult wants something, they should just get it themselves. They also know what they want and what they can afford.

A friend of mine named Riggs said his family got each other gifts historically. Then they sort of realized that it was better to give each other some cash, so the person could go buy exactly what they wanted from the stores.

Then he pointed out to them that they were all essentially standing in a circle and handing $50-$100 to the person to their left. And said: "We might as well just keep our cash. The results are the same."

It dawned on everyone that he was right.

So they decided to focus on something that gift giving "obscures rather than truly facilitates" and something that money cannot buy: Quality time with each other.

His family is a card playing crew (something I admire but just can't get into). So now on Xmas they get together, talk, have dinner, talk, play the hell out of some card games as a big family, talk some more, probably eat some more, talk, play some more cards, talk, and then reluctantly go their own ways until the next family holiday.

If I could sum up the point of Riggs' experience it is this: Do something with your family rather than give them cash or prizes. Doing things brings you closer together. Doing things bonds you. Doing things makes you a family.

[Tybee]

I floated the gift exchange idea twice, where everyone got one other person to buy for, but there were no takers. We come from a gift-giving family and everyone seems to enjoy giving gifts, so one year I suggested a cap amount because of budgets. That went a little better but got forgotten when the grandchildren came.

In your situation, I might try a "normal gift giving applies for the under 21 set" and for the adults, set a budget of ten dollars (or twenty, if the adults balk at 10) and see how that works for a year. My husband and I were going to do that--set the twenty dollar limit ad go out shopping with each other. That got blown out of the water when we stopped at the local made in Michigan store and he bought me a leland stone necklace, because I wanted something to remember this area by if and when we move, and leland stones are so cool. I bought him a pair of wool socks secretly but he found them when putting away the grocery bags. I bought him a copper water bottle that he does not know about and will wrap that and put under the tree if we have a tree or just hand it to him on Christmas.

Our family's problem is we get excited about buying gifts and surprising each other. It seems to mean a lot to us; one of the last things my dad did before his fall and going into the hospital was giving checks to his children and grandchildren--and it was terribly difficult for him to accomplish, there at the end. So it does mean a lot to us, for some reason. It's definitely not something akin to standing around handing out money.

This year my folks are getting new LL Bean slippers for the nursing home. There's not that much you can give someone in a nursing home. . .

And I found my daughter in law's china that she started collecting at the Goodwill, an entire set for her (also at Goodwill.) That only cost fifty dollars, but shipping seven boxes of china was not cheap.

We have definitely simplified Christmas, but I think the gift giving thing is highly dependent on the family involved, what brings them joy.

[catherine]

Thank you for all the awesome suggestions and experiences. Tybee, thanks for sharing your feelings/experiences, which validate mine. We are the same way. As much stress as it places on us, it always seems to pay off with the delight and joy and laughter. The kids seem to be so insightful with their gifts for us and each other... and it doesn't mean they spend a lot necessarily--as they say "it's the thought that counts" and they seem to come up with just the right thing--whether it's my songwriter son who frames personalized poems he's written for us, or my DIL/son who bought me a pair of Carhart overalls for volunteering with my Master Gardeners, or my other son who had us all in stitches one year with handmade clay gifts, with funny notes to match.

If it weren't for the fact that the gifts are all so personal, a Yankee swap would be a lot of fun.

I'll continue to mull.. maybe have Secret Santa for the Gen X/Yers in the family. Or do the dollar limit thing. Still pondering.. but you've given me a lot of food for thought.

[Tammy]

It’s hard - the givers want to buy for everyone but then they expect things in return. So it’s awkward too. Because it’s not giving - it’s trading.

The minimalists just want to spend time together.

[Tammy]

In an ideal world everybody could do as they wish, and the givers would not expect anything in return.

In my distant past, I’ve told adult family members that we’re not doing gifts anymore, months before Christmas. But some still gave gifts. Then it felt weird. Ah well ... I kept not giving and they soon stopped as well.

[catherine]

It’s hard - the givers want to buy for everyone but then they expect things in return. So it’s awkward too. Because it’s not giving - it’s trading.

The minimalists just want to spend time together.

We want to do both... but we definitely need to just pare down the gift-giving part.

[Tybee]

Catherine, an idea on how you can achieve both--task all the adults with picking up a board game at a thrift shop, under 5 dollars, and then get together Christmas and play them.
I have found some cool older games, tried to link photo of one, a Milton Bradley one from the 70's, but can't do it.

I have also found playing cards with Michigan landscapes, bet you could find them with Vermont. Everybody has to bring something cool for game night?

[SteveinMN]

We've gone extremely minimal over the last few Christmases. There's only six of us (including SOs) so it's not a big 'do to start with. Two of the six are not gung-ho on celebrating Christmas anyway (at least they're married to each other :)), our handicapped family member has a very difficult time participating in the goings-on, and my mom is extremely limited in the energy and money she wants to put into decorating and gift-shopping/giving. It hasn't been a conscious decision to minimalize; things just have petered out over the years.

We've tried cutting back on the money spent on gifts, we've tried going out to dinner and a show in lieu of gifts (it was difficult to find a show that everyone might like on a date most/all could attend), we tried a pan-theistic Chrismahannukwanzakah celebration,... none of them worked for everyone. Maybe the takeaway is that not everyone will be happy about whatever consensus is reached. When there are only six participants, though, anyone opting out is kind of a big deal. This is one occasion, I think, when bigger is better.

Last Christmas, at the request of the Christmas-haters (HA) we just got together -- no gifts and no decorations but on Christmas morning -- to play games inclusive of our handicapped family member, eat, and talk. I don't think we'll be doing that again, though, as it did not serve the Christmas-lovers (another HA) among us. Right now none of my family has plans for Christmas (long story about that for another time, maybe).

DW's family Christmas celebration is a whole different deal. Christmas Eve belongs to the family. Show or not show on Thanksgiving, Easter, or other gathering occasions, but Christmas Eve belongs to my wife's family and everyone is expected to be there unless they're really ill or have to work (low seniority, etc.). (It sounds more draconian than it is.) We have a potluck; those who can, cook (those who can't bring something interesting); we talk and play games and watch football on TV. There are presents for the grandkids (from parents/grandparents and their Santa proxies only) which is limited because the kids can play with only so many toys and the clothes get outgrown quickly. There adults have a Yankee gift exchange (though none of us Midwesterners call it that lol) with a dollar limit ($15-20). Since the gifts can be "stolen" they are, by nature, not terribly specific, but individuals can go after what they want (for instance, I won't be going after the Dairy Queen gift certificate). We all have a great time, especially now that grandchildren are discovering Christmas, and I don't miss my family's "celebration".

[Tybee]

That sounds so fun, Steve!

[Miss Cellaneous]

It is hard sometimes to reconcile the differences between family members. I have six siblings, two are still married, and there are nine nephews and nieces. Our Christmas gift-gifting has gone through several different versions as people move into different phases of life. Some of us remember the old days when we were kids, and gave everyone else in the family a gift. Seven kids getting gifts for six siblings plus two parents meant there were about 56 presents under the tree, and that's before my parents' gifts and of course the "Santa" gifts. (We were encouraged to make at least some of our presents by hand.) And some siblings really want to re-create that every year. Others would like to stop gifting altogether.

We draw names. If that person has kids, we buy gifts for the kids. If that person doesn't have kids, we buy a "nice" gift (around $50) for that person. If and only if you want to, you can buy a "small" (under $15) gift for anyone whose name you did not draw--usually this means that if you are going to see someone in person on or near Christmas, you buy them a small gift. What I usually do is make something--a crocheted ornament, a potholder--and give one to everybody. But I like to crochet.

As the kids reach 18, they are dropped from the gift-giving. This part of the rule came from my father's family--between them, my father and his 4 siblings had 29 children and buying for all of them was just not feasible at some point. So if you had five kids, you drew five names and gave those nieces and nephews a gift. You aged out at 18. This meant that every kid got a present from an aunt or uncle, but no one was bankrupt after Christmas. My grandparents dealt with the issue by sending every family a huge box of oranges and grapefruit every December.

This is a compromise between the "end all gifting" and "but we love to buy presents" factions. We have agreed that once the youngest nephew is 18, we will revisit this. The case has been made that it would not be fair to the younger nieces and nephews to change things midstream. It's messy and inconsistent and I know for a fact that my sister does not follow the dollar guidelines at all (she spends way too much)--but it's family and we deal.

[ApatheticNoMore]

If you know an adult that is struggling some financially give them some money if you feel inclined to be generous, they'll appreciate it, far more than gifts. But if there is little financial struggle then yes people can buy what they want.

Catherine: this wasn't directed at you, you don't need to give BIL more money!!! I was just countering adults never appreciate a gift ... well ...

[iris lilies]

I agree that a Yankee Swap is a good way to get maximum gift entertainment value for minimal effort and expenditure. We've eliminated gifts altogether for xmas and just do gifts for birthdays within our immediate families.

Yankee Swaps are not the real gift giving deal, catherine confirmed it. I think they are fun, or at least they were fun in the early years when new on the scene, have grown a bit stale for me.

For those who dont like it who are caught in these gifting situations, I suggest doing what I did after being married a few years: hand the entire job over to the spouse whose family must gift. During our first years of marriage I teamed up with DH to buy the mountains of stuff but after a while I told him it was his responsibility. I never resented the money, that didnt matter. It was the time involved in getting “stocking” gifts for everyone. It was a bore.

I am cranky because our annual obligatory gifting extravaganza is coming up. I had thought it would be over by now because our friend who hosts planned to move two years ago. It has been tradition that we do this thing (adults exchaning gifts) in this one way forever. Please, God let this be the last time.

And then, there is the problem of all the new gifted crap entering my home. Each year I get cranky about it (although truthfully, it has lessened in recent years.DH and I no longer get 24 presents between the two of us.) This time of year I am very careful to curb my talk about household objects and items I am thinking about buying because she will buy these things for me, and I do not want that for several reasons but mainly I want ro pick out my own stuff.

[Tybee]

We buy Starbucks gift cards for my husband's family and for some others like two of my old friends and some of their children, kids we have see grow from babies into parents. We buy packs of 10 dollar giftcards and put them into a Christmas card and send by December 1, so they can go out shopping and stop for cocoa or something. We don't get presents from these people and don't care--we just like to show them we are thinking of them and give them a treat this time of year.

My son definitely inherited the gifting gene. The year he was in seventh grade, he took all his Christmas money from relatives and went out to buy presents for underprivileged kids where you picked mittens off the tree. It was one of his happiest Christmases.

So I don't know, I guess this just depends on both the family and the individual, if they enjoy it or hate it.

But I definitely, in gift exchange situations, go for the Starbucks or Panera or Whole Foods gift card, knowing the recipient can always regift it, and there's no unwanted things coming into their house.

[Ultralight]

If you know an adult that is struggling some financially give them some money if you feel inclined to be generous, they'll appreciate it, far more than gifts.

I strongly but politely disagree. I think she should let the kids tough it out. It'll be better in the long run.

[herbgeek]

I am cranky because our annual obligatory gifting extravaganza is coming up. I had thought it would be over by now because our friend who hosts planned to move two years ago.

IL - is this the acquaintance who buys tons of gifts and invites a bunch of folks and requires each recipient in turn to open one a time? I felt your pain when you shared this last year, though I have to admit I was kinda giggling at the absurdity of it all (while still feeling bad for you personally).

[Teacher Terry]

In 2008 it was a mutual decision with all our local friends to stop exchanging gifts. We still get together on Xmas day for a meal I host. I make my homemade spaghetti and everyone brings stuff to go with it. A few years ago we started doing a white elephant gift exchange for no more than $10. It can be something you own or made. Some people buy something. You can steal twice. Often at the end people exchange stuff. Besides that I give my kids money and my sister and childhood friend a gift. I loved buying for my kids when they were little. Without grandkids I just don’t enjoy the gifting anymore. My husband and I quit buying for each other years ago.

[iris lily]

IL - is this the acquaintance who buys tons of gifts and invites a bunch of folks and requires each recipient in turn to open one a time? I felt your pain when you shared this last year, though I have to admit I was kinda giggling at the absurdity of it all (while still feeling bad for you personally).

Yes, and its not even a bunch of folks, it is just one other couple. And in 2015 I timed the gift opening and it took more than 2 hours. How can 5 adults take two hours to open gifts? Well, it can be done if each one gets 12+ items and each much be discussed and passed around. In 2016 it all went much faster, closer to an hour, necause there were fewer gifts that year. In 2017 she was out of town for the entire extravaganza, and when I heard her plans I was fearful that she would still expect to “have our Christmas” at another time but thankyou god, that wasnt the case.

So I need to buck up and after a rest of two years, plunge into the the thng with holiday cheer. :)

I really, truly, loathe doing the same thing every year. Hate it! So this plays into that problem, and then add in all of the cheap crap from China that enters my house during this time of house cleaning, it is just not my jam.

[sweetana3]

Iris, is she so controlling that you cannot just say "no more"? What do you really get out of this performance?

You have terrific reasons and it is not that you dont want to get together for a meal or such. I stopped birthday party, etc. attendance after a couple of gift extravaganzas that just took all the fun away. Don't mind meals and get togethers so long as presents are not involved.

[iris lily]

Iris, is she so controlling that you cannot just say "no more"? What do you really get out of this performance?

You have terrific reasons and it is not that you dont want to get together for a meal or such. I stopped birthday party, etc. attendance after a couple of gift extravaganzas that just took all the fun away. Don't mind meals and get togethers so long as presents are not involved.

Over the years I say “please dont get us stuff. Please do not get us stuff. please—do not get us stuff!” And she tells me that she enjoys it, she is all about the presents, etc etc. so, after our last conversation a couple of years ago, I just zip it. In the early years it was difficult because I tried to jam all of the gifted crap into closets, but in recent years DH and I haul the stuff home, set it on the dining room table, cherry pick the few things we think we will use, and then dump the rest.DH is now fully accepting of this ritual but there were unhappy interactions conversations to get him there.

Rest assured that I feel no need to, and I do not ever, reciprocate at the same level. I tend to buy her dog treats and dog toys. Those are consumed by her dogs.

Oh and that is another thing. With her, consumables are not good gifts (although thank god that has changed somewhat over the years) and her rigid idea that a gift must be a physical thing that sits around to collect dust has abated. Last gifting season she actually bought me rolls of pink wrapping paper which I found very useful!

She is generous and always appreciative of whatever we gift her. She just loves spending money and pressing that Amazon Buy It Now button.

The birthday thing is another problem. She insists on getting birthday presents for me, but usually not for DH. This year it was 3 things. 3 unnecessary things, but I will admit to really liking one of them, a t-shirt that actually fits.

[Teacher Terry]

I love getting consumables. I wonder if you told her you give most of the stuff immediately to the thrift store if that would get through to her? I find it weird that she totally ignores what you want. Can she afford all the gifts?

[sweetana3]

So she is controlling, rigid, does not listen to you, cares only about her desires, and caused issues for awhile between you and spouse and yet you still participate in her rituals. A true friend would listen and, if necessary, find other ways to gift you. The fact you get something so important from her that you felt it necessary to convince your spouse to participate after unhappy conversations is interesting.

[iris lily]

Iris, is she so controlling that you cannot just say "no more"? What do you really get out of this performance? ....

She is a close friend and there is no getting out of this without a permenant breach.

In 2016 I took up the invitation of another friend to go to her house for
Christmas Eve dinner. This very much hurt the feelings of my Gift Extravaganza friend, and even though I assured her “it is ok! Just go ahead and have Couple B there, we dont need to be there,) she rescheduled her traditional Eve gifting event so that we attended.

There is no getting out of it. Now she certainly cant afford it since she retired, but even prior to retirement she spent too much on this and other things.

And p.s. yes I have told her that much of the stuff she gives me goes to Goodwill. She doesnt care, she actually said she doesnt care. I didnt tell her that fair amounts go directly to trash, that seems mean.

[iris lily]

So she is controlling, rigid, does not listen to you, cares only about her desires, and caused issues for awhile between you and spouse and yet you still participate in her rituals. A true friend would listen and, if necessary, find other ways to gift you. The fact you get something so important from her that you felt it necessary to convince your spouse to participate after unhappy conversations is interesting.

Haha ,yes I guess! The problem with DH is a generic problem tho, where he could not conceive of failing to stuff any random gift into a closet. He is a piler. His family for years gifted stuff, too. But they have stopped that for the most part, they do only occasional gifts, usually things they have made. I toss them or keep them depending on if I like them.

It took many years for him to accept that no, we will not necessarily keep random junk that anyone gives us and NO we will NOT regift that same junk. Now he is generally content with jettisoning it all. Maybe he can finally see that 30 years of unwanted junk would overwhelm our lives. Or maybe he is just well trained now. Or maybe he just gave up, I won!

[Teacher Terry]

Her behavior seems very strange. But if you value the friendship I guess you just put up with it.

[iris lilies]

Her behavior seems very strange. But if you value the friendship I guess you just put up with it.
Yes, that is what it is about. She insists on being generous, and she is! But I think there is a little bit of a compulsion there, other than the “wheeeeee! christmassssss!!! Time to buy shit tons of stuff!” Which is obviously a bit of a compulsion.

Parents of new new babies have exacfly the same problem, grandparents who load up their household with stuff at Christmas despite being asked not to. There have been numerous posts over the years here and elsewhere about that. To some people, this Christmas holiday is ALL about the piles of presents.

[Teacher Terry]

My parents were awesome grandparents and gave my kids the gift of time. At Xmas each kid got 1 gift each. My parents took the kids places and played a lot with them.

[happystuff]

What about a themed gift exchange? We do one every year - if you want to participate you can, if you don't - don't. One year it was kitchen items, one year it was books, one year it was the letter "O", one year it was "oxymorons" i.e. someone gifted a bag of jumbo shrimp (really fun!), etc. Everyone who participates walks away with a gift. Exchanges afterwards definitely allowed. :)

[rosarugosa]

That sounds like a neat idea Happystuff. It could even be consumables like wine or chocolate.

[Tybee]

That sounds really fun, happystuff!

[Miss Cellaneous]

My parents were awesome grandparents and gave my kids the gift of time. At Xmas each kid got 1 gift each. My parents took the kids places and played a lot with them.

My 16 year old niece recently confided to me that she and her siblings love when my sister, brothers or I come to visit. She has aunts and uncles who live very close to her, but she claims that her "New England" relatives spend more time with her and her siblings. The other aunts and uncles give lots of gifts all year long, but we talk to the kids. Who knew they would like that?

What she said that resonated with me: "When you ask me a question, you really listen to the answer."

So yeah, you might not think kids understand the gift of time, but as they grow up, they may come to appreciate it.

[Greg44]

I call it the season of "have to's" We have to do this and that - its tradition! :-( I have fought it for years, but have only been labeled the grinch - and rightfully so. So I let them do their thing - my wife and dd's LOVE it, everything about it.

I see it as only clutter - expensive clutter. This year my wife suggested giving $$ to a family at Church, single income - several kids. I was all over that - planning how we can give anonymously etc. Now that is a tradition I can get excited about. Looking for those who we can help, quietly helping to lighten their burden. That is how prayers are answered - through us!

Wife and SIL singing at a special Church Christmas program - new tradition.

A few of us are attending the local Lutheran Church Christmas eve services - we are not of that faith - but enjoy their special Christmas music & sermon. It has become a new tradition.

My brother's birthday is right before Christmas and it was always a tradition for the family to go out for pizza then drive around looking at the lights. A tradition that needs to be re-born.

[Teacher Terry]

We really enjoy giving to needy families versus buying stuff for each other. We have done that for years.

[happystuff]

With the infestation of the Lantern Fly in our area, I'm a little anxious about our tradition of going to cut our Christmas tree. I don't want an artificial one, but... I did look online to see homemade ones and saw a great "Charlie Brown-ish cardboard one - LOL. Not sure how the rest of the family will feel about that. I guess we will go look for a little one this year and just check it out carefully before cutting.

[Gardenarian]

We have a little 3 foot, 30 year old fake tree that I've become rather attached to - decorating takes about 10 minutes.

I'm glad that my siblings and in-laws have given up on the holiday gifts. We exchange cards or sometimes just emails and videos. It seems like once the kids were out of high school, that was it. No discussion about it.

With DH and DD, it's just giving stuff we know each other actually need. I'm getting DH a gel seat cover for his bike (how romantic!) and an overcoat (he lost his coat somehow.)
DD is getting an electric kettle and some other kitchen doodads and house stuff.
I do get a little creative with consumables - herbal teas and sweet treats and local goodies. I don't bake.

Confession: I love holiday shopping! (But mostly window shopping 😊

We do lots of community stuff - pub sings, concerts, carolling, etc. Attendance is not required; it is fun

Our main holiday is the solstice (hike and feast!) An outdoor fire, weather permitting.

Xmas is not spiritual for us, just exchanging gifts over brunch and enjoying the quiet trails and streets. DH & I plan a LOTR dvd marathon that evening - Frodo, hot cocoa, satsumas, popcorn.

DD is 19 and has her own place - it'll be interesting to see how she chooses to do holidays. With us? With friends?Things change.

I love the holiday lights but think how in the future we'll be aghast at wasting all this energy on sparklies. Enjoy while we can!

[Gardenarian]

Oh, our town has a holiday 'abundance' swap, which is lovely. Lots of gratitude and sweetness. I'm gifting some old Coach handbags I don't use - I know they'll end up much appreciated. And I'll pick up some sweet things. It's a beautiful event.

[Teacher Terry]

What a great event G. I swap stuff with family and friends.

[KayLR]

Oh, our town has a holiday 'abundance' swap, which is lovely. Lots of gratitude and sweetness. I'm gifting some old Coach handbags I don't use - I know they'll end up much appreciated. And I'll pick up some sweet things. It's a beautiful event.

That IS a great idea! Makes me think....

We celebrate much like you do in our family, too.

[happystuff]

What about a themed gift exchange? We do one every year - if you want to participate you can, if you don't - don't. One year it was kitchen items, one year it was books, one year it was the letter "O", one year it was "oxymorons" i.e. someone gifted a bag of jumbo shrimp (really fun!), etc. Everyone who participates walks away with a gift. Exchanges afterwards definitely allowed. :)

Just found out that this year's theme is "light". Time to put on my thinking cap. LOL

[Ultralight]

Just found out that this year's theme is "light". Time to put on my thinking cap. LOL

A lampshade perhaps?

[Rosemary]

Most of our family has gone pretty minimalistic with gift giving... except my mother-in-law. Every year I tell her that we just want to have a fun visit at Christmas, and every year she buys everyone (not just us, but everyone in her family, and she gives money to just about everyone who ever does any type of work for her) too much stuff and then complains about how much it costs.

I get it - she likes gifts. I also get that, at about 85 years of age, she's not going to change. But we don't have to reciprocate her way. We take a week of vacation and drive across the frozen Midwest each Christmas, and while there I do a lot of cooking and baking, both for meals and for the freezer. We always have a couple of small gifts for her, but the biggest gift is bringing her granddaughter for a visit.

[Tybee]

How nice you go there and cook, I am sure she appreciates it very much.

[happystuff]

A lampshade perhaps?

Hmm... definitely fits the theme. First to go on my list. Thanks. And makes me think of a "suncatcher" to catch the sun*light*. And there's number 2. :idea:

[frugal-one]

I probably would get something useful.... a nice flashlight or food that is refreshing and light ...

[rosarugosa]

LED bulbs?

[Tybee]

Matches! The nice long ones.

[happystuff]

Thanks for the suggestions. By all means, keep them coming!!

Actually I gave everyone flashlights last year. I like the idea of a "light" food item and the LED bulbs are good.

[rosarugosa]

Matches! The nice long ones.

I'll admit to a fondness for those longish wooden matches that come in boxes with beautiful graphics, overpriced at about five bucks or so.

[Tybee]

That's just what I was thinking of, Rosa. Or even the grocery store ones--long matches are so much better.

I will confess that I just bought a matchbook cover on ebay from a restaurant that we used to go to when we were kids that burnt down about twenty years ago, unfortunately. So I guess that would be another thing from the family gift exchange. It was only 5 dollars or so with shipping.

[happystuff]

Never thought of matches. Love those long ones as well. Adding it to the list. Thanks, everyone!!!

[Gardenarian]

I got a color changing LED lightbulb at Halloween. It spins, it morphs through all the colors, it sparkles. I love it 😊