View Full Version : Advice I'm glad I ignored
Not sure where to post this, but I've been thinking about advice I'd been given over the years that I'm glad I ignored. Not saying I've made all the right choices over 6 decades, but it's instructive looking back, so here goes:
1. Don't go to college, just get a job at Sears because they have a good pension.
2. Buy a Yugo.
3. Just lease a car, never buy one.
4. Don't have just one child, they'll be spoiled.
5. Never take money out of your 401(k). I took $10,000 out in the 1990s to purchase my primary home, and have used the equity in this home several times including in 2011 when I bought a small rental house. It's been my best financial decision and is a big part of my net worth.
Anyway, that's the big 5 that I can think of. Anyone else?
rosarugosa
12-23-18, 12:31pm
To keep away from that bad boy the next street over.
iris lilies
12-23-18, 3:45pm
To keep away from that bad boy the next street over.
haha, I LOVE this!
You're just 19. Don't get married...you're too young.
You have to have kids. Why don't you have kids?
38.5 years and we're happier than we've ever been.
catherine
12-23-18, 4:21pm
haha, I LOVE this!
Me, too! I definitely ignored that advice!
Other advice I ignored:
"You should wait until [you have a house/you're financially stable] before you have a baby." And when I ignored that advice, I also ignored this:
"Well, you know, you can have an abortion."
- Girls can't be engineers (my high school guidance counselor)
- Boys don't like smart girls (from my mom)
- You'll be sorry if you don't have kids (many folks over the years, including my MIL who stated- who will take care of you when you're old. Guess what, all of her kids other than my husband couldn't be bothered)
- You'll be sorry if you don't have kids (many folks over the years, including my MIL who stated- who will take care of you when you're old. )
When people said that to me I responded "That is a CRUEL reason to have children". I took care of Mom because I wanted to, not because it was expected. She did NOT expect it, had selected a facility to care for her and was quite surprised to be taken home from the hospital for those final 7 weeks.. That makes it even more special.
sweetana3
12-24-18, 4:53am
"You are stupid to keep working for the Federal Government. You can make so much more money outside."
Retired after 31 years. Those same people are telling me now that "you were so lucky to get a Federal Government job."
Invest in the stock market.
“Be yourself.” - I think most of us can do better than that.
“Pursue your passion and the money will follow. “ Only if your passion is making money.
“Violence never solved anything.” - Tell that to Hitler.
Teacher Terry
12-24-18, 11:36am
I was also told I was stupid for working for the state because I could make more money in the private sector. Now some people are jealous of our small pensions.
I was also told I was stupid for working for the state because I could make more money in the private sector. Now some people are jealous of our small pensions.
I think pension envy will become a bigger factor in the social/political environment as the population ages. We’ll probably see it emerge as an issue the first time one of the big underfunded public plans asks for a bailout.
ToomuchStuff
12-24-18, 1:23pm
You should get a mortgage for all you can an invest in this video game with me (and others).
The game was interesting, the movie a hit, the tv show a bigger hit, but the movie studio eventually kaboshed the project and played around long enough that I think it effectively embezzled all the money.
Teacher Terry
12-24-18, 2:11pm
Yes pension envy is real and people that worked 30 years do get much better ones. Thankfully ours is decently funded. One benefit to ours is that we can take it before traditional retirement age. Recently our state made numerous changes for new employees and I am glad it doesn’t effect me.
BikingLady
2-10-21, 6:01pm
To keep away from that bad boy the next street over.
OMG I ignored that one too! 1978 and still with him;)
BikingLady
2-10-21, 6:05pm
I am racking my brain to think of advice I was given that I ignored, I must have ignored all since I can not think of any really.
"It's as easy to fall in love with the president of the bank as it is with the cuspidor cleaner."
This was supposedly advice my grandfather gave my mother, who kindly passed it along to me.
Needless to say, I wasn't interested in a bank president. Or getting married.
"You can always get a job with a degree in English."
Maybe, but engineering would have probably been more useful; I should have ignored that one, but English was easy.
Have kids or you'll regret it. You don't know what you're missing. The last time I was asked when, we had been married 28 years and were 14y post vasectomy.
Instead, we went to school as much as we wanted, we were living debt free before age 50 with our city home and a mountain cabin (now 100% restored) for recreation and relaxation. I retired at 58 and life is good. Hubster is working because he loves it and wants to save more $ for some of his high-end ideas on retirement life. I have nieces/nephews who've had experiences they otherwise would not have had.
My HS contemporaries? Some are on 2nd or 3rd marriages with pre-teens. Some are raising their grandchildren. 50% are divorced at least once.
Yup, kids would have improved my life. :confused:
GeorgeParker
2-10-21, 6:44pm
Invest in the stock market."Don't invest in the stock market, it's too risky."
85% of my ROTH retirement account is profit I've made in the stock market (tax free because it's a ROTH) Only 15% is money I actually earned by working.
I learned how to buy individual stocks and option spreads by investing small amounts I could afford to risk losing, and I'm glad I did, but for most people I recommend the Lazy Portfolios https://www.bogleheads.org/wiki/Lazy_portfolios Because most people either won't make the effort to learn how to invest properly or they'll panic during market downturns.
To me the riskiest investment is buying a house, but at least that risk is offset by having a place to live, unless you can't make the mortgage payments.
GeorgeParker
2-10-21, 7:01pm
To keep away from that bad boy the next street over.He's "good bad" but he's not evil! ;)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37UTpnPTvIk
That's Marlon Brando in The Wild One (1953) The song is (c) 1964.
ApatheticNoMore
2-10-21, 7:12pm
Oh yea I heard don't invest in the stock market, with "it's gambling!!!". I listened at first, I didn't invest in my 20s, but sooner or later one has to come to terms with it's not the WWII/Depression era/Greatest Generation's world (uh older father so that was what I was told).
I mostly listened to the advice I got, but much of it was bad, or else it was contradictory (and by definition you can't not ignore that because you can't do two contradictory things). But they were right about smoking being bad, glad I never did.
I was never told to chase money in the private sector because the money wasn't really there by that point (although there was a decent decade the millennials won't ever see). I was told to take civil service exams to get a job, but by and large they didn't exist by that point. :confused:
Simplemind
2-10-21, 10:13pm
"You will make more money working in the private sector" I had great benefits, accrued a lot of time off and was able to retire early with a very nice pension.
"Don't retire early, you will be bored" I retired early, never looked back. Only boring people get bored.
"Don't apply for SS until you reach your full age" I started taking it at 62 and have been investing it.
Teacher Terry
2-10-21, 11:18pm
When I finished graduate school I only wanted to work for a government employer. Private paid much better but I wanted a pension. We lost money with wage freezes and furloughs through the years. My only regret is wasting almost 4 years in Kansas which didn’t count since I left.
My mom, He will never marry you........
Been 48 years Mom.
My mom, He will never marry you........
In a similar vein, Mom said that I needed to pretend to be stupid, that a man would never be interested in a smart woman, and many other such things to get me to hide my own light. Not only have I been happily married for 36 years, I became really successful at work only AFTER I put aside all of her sayings in my head. People actually paid me a lot to hear what I had to say.
In a similar vein, Mom said that I needed to pretend to be stupid, that a man would never be interested in a smart woman, and many other such things to get me to hide my own light. Not only have I been happily married for 36 years, I became really successful at work only AFTER I put aside all of her sayings in my head. People actually paid me a lot to hear what I had to say.
I got some of that, too--like I should always lose when I played games with men--which was an excellent metaphor, come to think of it. And "teachers don't like students who are too smart." It took me years to figure out that was an indication of how she thought. We had a prickly relationship. :~)
happystuff
2-11-21, 11:15am
Was advised - definitely out of love and concern - not to adopt one of our children due to medical conditions. Best choice ever was ignoring that advice! :)
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