boss mare
12-30-18, 12:50am
I don’t post on here often, but to read as a guest almost daily. I wrote a huge long post, but it somehow got lost .
So here is a condensed version
My dad had a bad accident a few years back and has steadily gotten worse health wise. My parents downsized from 2 levels and 4000 sq feet to one level and 1500 sq feet . They got very overwhelmed and needed a ton of emotional and physical help. He has been in and out of the hospital through out the year and just did a stint in a physical rehab facility .
Dh’s Uncle on his mom’ side , at age 83 could no longer live on his own. He never got married, had a girlfriend or even an alternative life style. He lived by himself on an 80 acre farm in a dilapidated farmhouse that belonged he inherited from DH Grandparents.
It was sold and DH, myself and DHs dad pretty much cleaned it out by ourselves with very little help. There was over 75 years of stuff needed to be removed including a lot of hazardous farm chemicals ( like DDT and creosote) and over 2 tons of scrap metal. DH’s brother and his family, who live around the corner , just showed up only to take things ( they had permission) that they wanted and was never seen again . This is very typical of them . This happened in September, when my DH who has nearly 40 years as a firefighter has mandatory OT due to the Washington State Fair, which is in his district. We were on a very tight deadline as the property was sold very quickly at an extremely high price by word of mouth . A timber bought it.
Unknownist to us, the depth of the issue until later, DH mom was slowly not as mobile.
Two weeks after the last load was taken off from DH Uncles place , we got a call from DH nephew that his dad was found unresponsive.
As hard as the paramedics could try, he was gone.
DH dad had 51 years in the local fire service ( volunteer) retired from BNSF Railroad, served on the city council for 35 years and was the go- to man in the small town that he grew up in . The funeral service was awesome. Over 15 fire trucks from surrounding towns and counties led the procession. The high school gymnasium where the memorial was held had over 300 people and was SRO.
Now the hard part: his mom . She has , as long as I have known her, is a complainer, and Debbie Downer , and my DH said that she has always been that way.
She had knee replacement about 5 years ago and and has refused to do the work required of her to make her life better. We didn’t know to what extent until FIL passed away. She has absolutely no interest whatsoever in helping herself. FIL took care of all ( including her personal hygiene) needs
This only came to light when FIL passed away and a few hours afterwards when she demanded her meds . She didn’t know that ones what she took because he gave them to her her as they were directed. She complained about her knee and how she can’t get out of her recliner. So appointment was made with her othropedic surgeon. Turns out there is mothering with her knee , she just no muscle tone . She is not very interested in following up with the PT or OT that comes to the house. There is a bath lady that comes , but MIL doesn’t want to get up to go to the tub for her shower
She has had mini stroke and luckily there is a gal who comes in 3 days a week to help and was there at the time
The gal is licensed and bonded and is good, but DH’s brothers wife doesn’t want her there ( it was not her idea, there fore it’s a bad idea) and DH’s brother is so PWed that he goes along with what his wife wants . MIL needs to go into assisted living DH spends most of his nights with her. He agrees that her staying at home is unsustainable . After the first of the year , DH , the nephew and two Grandchildren ( DH adult children) calling a family meeting and we are going to push for this
During all of this, my all time favorite horse got sick and I had to take her to Oregon State University, As all the equine veterinarians in my area were at a conference in CA . That was a four hour trip one way . She is nearly 24 years old and I would have had to make a hard decision if surgery was involved ( for the horse people here, she had colic with an impaction) after 48 hours, she was fine and got to come home
A week ago, we had two vehicles stolen. One was revived in excellent shape. It belongs to DH Uncle that I discussed earlier. Although he can no longer drive, he refuses to sell it and we are storing it . Our 2013 Subaru Cross Trek is still unrecovered. . Whoever it was, jimmied the lock in our house and took only the keys to those vehicles. Nothing else was touched. NOTHING else!!
I am so done with 2018
So here is a condensed version
My dad had a bad accident a few years back and has steadily gotten worse health wise. My parents downsized from 2 levels and 4000 sq feet to one level and 1500 sq feet . They got very overwhelmed and needed a ton of emotional and physical help. He has been in and out of the hospital through out the year and just did a stint in a physical rehab facility .
Dh’s Uncle on his mom’ side , at age 83 could no longer live on his own. He never got married, had a girlfriend or even an alternative life style. He lived by himself on an 80 acre farm in a dilapidated farmhouse that belonged he inherited from DH Grandparents.
It was sold and DH, myself and DHs dad pretty much cleaned it out by ourselves with very little help. There was over 75 years of stuff needed to be removed including a lot of hazardous farm chemicals ( like DDT and creosote) and over 2 tons of scrap metal. DH’s brother and his family, who live around the corner , just showed up only to take things ( they had permission) that they wanted and was never seen again . This is very typical of them . This happened in September, when my DH who has nearly 40 years as a firefighter has mandatory OT due to the Washington State Fair, which is in his district. We were on a very tight deadline as the property was sold very quickly at an extremely high price by word of mouth . A timber bought it.
Unknownist to us, the depth of the issue until later, DH mom was slowly not as mobile.
Two weeks after the last load was taken off from DH Uncles place , we got a call from DH nephew that his dad was found unresponsive.
As hard as the paramedics could try, he was gone.
DH dad had 51 years in the local fire service ( volunteer) retired from BNSF Railroad, served on the city council for 35 years and was the go- to man in the small town that he grew up in . The funeral service was awesome. Over 15 fire trucks from surrounding towns and counties led the procession. The high school gymnasium where the memorial was held had over 300 people and was SRO.
Now the hard part: his mom . She has , as long as I have known her, is a complainer, and Debbie Downer , and my DH said that she has always been that way.
She had knee replacement about 5 years ago and and has refused to do the work required of her to make her life better. We didn’t know to what extent until FIL passed away. She has absolutely no interest whatsoever in helping herself. FIL took care of all ( including her personal hygiene) needs
This only came to light when FIL passed away and a few hours afterwards when she demanded her meds . She didn’t know that ones what she took because he gave them to her her as they were directed. She complained about her knee and how she can’t get out of her recliner. So appointment was made with her othropedic surgeon. Turns out there is mothering with her knee , she just no muscle tone . She is not very interested in following up with the PT or OT that comes to the house. There is a bath lady that comes , but MIL doesn’t want to get up to go to the tub for her shower
She has had mini stroke and luckily there is a gal who comes in 3 days a week to help and was there at the time
The gal is licensed and bonded and is good, but DH’s brothers wife doesn’t want her there ( it was not her idea, there fore it’s a bad idea) and DH’s brother is so PWed that he goes along with what his wife wants . MIL needs to go into assisted living DH spends most of his nights with her. He agrees that her staying at home is unsustainable . After the first of the year , DH , the nephew and two Grandchildren ( DH adult children) calling a family meeting and we are going to push for this
During all of this, my all time favorite horse got sick and I had to take her to Oregon State University, As all the equine veterinarians in my area were at a conference in CA . That was a four hour trip one way . She is nearly 24 years old and I would have had to make a hard decision if surgery was involved ( for the horse people here, she had colic with an impaction) after 48 hours, she was fine and got to come home
A week ago, we had two vehicles stolen. One was revived in excellent shape. It belongs to DH Uncle that I discussed earlier. Although he can no longer drive, he refuses to sell it and we are storing it . Our 2013 Subaru Cross Trek is still unrecovered. . Whoever it was, jimmied the lock in our house and took only the keys to those vehicles. Nothing else was touched. NOTHING else!!
I am so done with 2018