View Full Version : Organizing the rest of our lives
iris lilies
12-31-18, 3:06pm
The placement and organization of “stuff” takes up a fair amount of my thinking time. Following are random thoughts about future organizational systems and spaces.
Chime in with your own
ideas about your own life. I see this as a big picture look at organization and decluttering, not “ I decluttered two socks, a bag of plastic ties, and a yoyo” of other threads. But hey, you can write about whatever you want to write about here.
Because I am old and have a sense of time passing quickly to the END, I want any stuff I have around me to be useful or beautiful.
A Brief History of Iris and Stuff: As a single person decades ago I didnt buy a lot of stuff because I was in simplicity mode. But Lordy did I own stuff mainly from my youth when I lived with my parents. I moved across country a few times and carted some if it with me, other stuff remained stored in my parents’ basement.
When DH and I got married I took all of those boxes. There were dishes and childhood objects like toys and a trunk full of sentimental things and ohoto albums and yadda.Because pur house was not “done” (i.e. there were no finished floors, painted walls, complete staircase until 2011) I unpacked those boxes sporadicaaly over the years. But also, smewhere in there I exercised an obsession for chinese pottery and silverplate serving dishes as well as Victorian dinnerware and table accoutremonts. Then my picture book collecting effort started in earnest in the early 1990’s and wrapped up about 2012. So in summary, I collected a ton of crap.
Around 2010 I started getting rid of all of boxed stuff feom my youth, selling or giving away sets of dishes, toys, dolls, costume jewelry. Then, because that was fun, I unloaded most all of the Silverplate servers. (I have indulged in one thing* pretty horrific as far as $$$ goes, will tell later.) Around that time I skimmed the best of my mom’s stuff (she was in a nursing home by then) and sold it, splitting profits with my brother.
Now, I am contemplating the next round of offload. We have a favorite charity to donate antiques and collectibles, our local Park Conservancy booth during our neighborhood’s house tour weekend. We help set ip and sell at the booth. This will be a semi-deep offload, where I plan to donate some of the
chinese pottery, a big Victorian chair, and other things I still like. But I no longer “love” them, ya know?
such is the saga of me and my stuff.
* silverplate foolishness: my mom had a big ornate tray that she liked a lot. I took it many years ago. The plate was wearing off. Each time I polished it I thoight “either this thing should be tossed, or I get it replated.” Well, in an uncharacteristically sentimental move, I took the thing in to get it replated. Cost: $340. It’s value now: about $100 on a good day.
I was surprised that the plating people didnt ask me for a downpayment because Once they put their silver on it they had a whole lot more money into the thing than I did. bless their hearts, they trusted me to come back for it and pay the bill. I saw many silverplate family treasures lined ip in the pickup area, so
I am not the only foolish person, I guess. But that is one giant waste of money!At least now I can polish it and bring ip the shine.
iris lilies
12-31-18, 3:15pm
In my mind we move to our
Hermann house and maintain a small aprtment in the city. Our Hermann house is currently 1400 sq feet and we will add a sunroom and garage. This is plenty of room.
I saw the perfect, adorable, most beautiful condo for $74,000 here in the city that I would buy in a second if
I were moved to buy a condo. I still think renting is a better thing for me, condo management makes me ragey.
But anyway, I picture this Hermann house with DH having control of the entire basement. i have gifted him that. I told him the basement is all his. But—he has to keep crap out of the main part of the house. I also do not want to see the garage (as yet to be built) crammed every inch as pir garage is now.
I suspect we will rent storage for his giant ugly pieces of Furniture I will not allow into my Hermann house space. I know, stupid, yeah. But at this point in my life I am all aboit peace of mind. And storage space is chwap for that.
The challenge, dear IL, is that you are trying to declutter in your thinking for two people which has its own problems but I relate only too well.
When DH passed on and I sold the farm I had to declutter three workshops full of stuff. I swear he had the first electric drills that he ever owned, (great big heavy clunky things) and all of a lifetime of accumulating the upgrades as needed including wonderful collection of antique tools that he loved. We did talk periodically about reducing the volume of stuff and he would agree that it should be done 'one day'. I got to do it when I moved. One can only plan, even mentally, if both parties are on the same wavelength; otherwise, it is stressful. I was guilty of accumulating stuff as well that made no sense to him but I am using it up now or decluttering. It is hard.
I have dealt with so many elders in my life who did not think they would ever get old, did not plan for it...that I am always thinking about it. I think the condo and Hermann house are a good near future plan. If I understand, you have a large Victorian home and several small cottages in the city. The upkeep on those will continue to bug you especially as you get older. You can have fun with the Hermann house now and have a small place in the city available for now/later. But I don't know how attached emotionally you are to the city houses. I had a lot of silver and china "crap" when we sold in TX and what I couldn't sell on my own, I gave to my estate sale neighbor. So easy - he sent me a nice check a month later. I took some photos of the things I was hesitant to get rid of and stumbled onto them yesterday. Haven't missed any of it so trashed the photos.
On the husband side, there is hope. About a month ago, DH got a bug in his butt and said he wanted to sell some of his old camera collection that we carted up here. And so he did and bought himself one really nice one to replace about twenty old cameras. Now if he'll get rid of all the new age books from the 90s that he couldn't part with, I will be impressed. You just have to make them think it is their idea:)
I'm not much of a collector, but I still have a lot of stuff. I have done purges from time to time, so I have gotten rid of some. On the plus side, I don't have superfluous clothes other than a handful of holiday sweaters and a couple of dresses. On the negative side, I still have too much entertaining stuff. eg different types of glasses for different beverages. Do I use them all? No. I wind up using the same stemless glasses for almost everything. I don't have a whole lot of any one thing, but I have lots of different things (weights, linens, travel gadgets, vases). I know I will have to get rid of these items at some point (likely when I downsize to an even smaller house). I am aware of what I have, and that at some point it will be "too much". Hubby is a mild hoarder and has never thrown away a piece of hardware or wood. He doesn't go through stuff like I do, but he does keep it to his office and half of the basement that isn't finished.
I'd love to get rid of some old antique pieces that were me at one time, but no longer. I was able to unload a Hoosier cabinet to my sister, but no one wants brown furniture anymore.
iris lilies
12-31-18, 5:32pm
On the husband side, there is hope. About a month ago, DH got a bug in his butt and said he wanted to sell some of his old camera collection that we carted up here. And so he did and bought himself one really nice one to replace about twenty old cameras. Now if he'll get rid of all the new age books from the 90s that he couldn't part with, I will be impressed. You just have to make them think it is their idea:)
A DH camera collection? Check (he bought a couple of old Brownie cameras foe nostalgia sake. And then his old wonky 35 mm camera with a bent piece. Ugh.
A DH collection of new age books? Check. We have all of the Foxfire books, never cracked in 30 years, he will never get rid of them. It was funny that when we looked at the Jermann house first time, the man of the house was reading a Foxfire book.
iris lilies
12-31-18, 5:38pm
...
I'd love to get rid of some old antique pieces that were me at one time, but no longer. I was able to unload a Hoosier cabinet to my sister, but no one wants brown furniture anymore.
We called the local antique dealer in Hermann to come and get an large walnut
victorian style cabinet . He wants it and will get it one of these days. Free to him.
My gorgeous walnut secretary here at home is too tall for Hermann, it need 11.5’ ceilings, and it breaks my heart to think I will have to get rid of it. Wanh. Fortunately, I have a smaller version (walnut, Victorian) that I also love and I always knew it would go with me to my final home, it is short.
catherine
12-31-18, 5:56pm
I love the title of this thread.
Yes, I think about all the crap now, too, especially since we are now hellbent on selling the NJ house. That means downsizing a 2100 square foot home PLUS a two car garage that can't fit any cars because the garage is filled with kids' old stuff, Christmas stuff, MIL stuff, gardening stuff, a wallful of DH's old VHS tapes from when he was a working TV/video producer, and TOOLS!! I totally relate to the guy-tool hoard. Why someone needs triplicates of the same tool I'll never know.
I lie in bed at night and examine a room in my mind's eye and ask myself, how much is it going to hurt to let this go? Most of the stuff I have resigned to letting go, but there are several pieces that both DH and I are struggling with.
So for some things we've come up with a plan. DD had little plastic Japanese miso soup bowls on her Christmas list. The bell went off in our heads! We have 6 hand-thrown Japanese-style soup bowls that we commissioned from a monk in a Vermont monastery. We have used them ZERO times, because we're afraid to break them, and also because the Japanese style does not match our decor AT ALL. It was a case of being "a good thought at the time."
So we said, "let's give them to the kids for Christmas!"
DH, in his customarily dramatic way, made a big deal out of presenting this gift to the kids--telling them how dear Brother Augustine made them just for us, and they've been one of our favorite possessions, but we have to move on with our lives, finishing with flair and even a wee tear in his eye--"So here, B___, we hope you love them as much as we have."
"So, you mean," she said (cutting to the chase as she always does), "You're giving us the crap you don't want."
I would love love love for my kids to go to the little house in VT when the remaining half of DH and I dies and spend one afternoon sorting through crap and then be done with it all.
Teacher Terry
12-31-18, 5:58pm
I sold or donated all my antique furniture and glassware that I no longer wanted a few years ago. I don’t count items but car or truck loads. We have even downsides a lot of DH crap.
iris lilies
12-31-18, 9:17pm
When we move to Hermann we would sell all city properties. In fact, we are selling our tiny houses next spring because we no longer need that land.
razz, DH does have of course tons of tools.That’s why I’m giving him the basement in Hermann but I fear he will junk it up with all kinds of other stuff. For instance he already has a used stove, a used refrigerator, and a used freezer down there and he’s thinking in his little mind “canning kitchen. “. I am rolling my eyes at that. But whatever.
Teacher Terry
12-31-18, 9:47pm
IL, I think your husband is worse than mine:))
At 57, we're mostly done downsizing. The cabin is easy to maintain. Minimal furniture here just to suit our needs. We have a well stocked kitchen that is perfect. Why? Because I designed and hubby built every cupboard and drawer along with the 36*84824 pantry. I love it. 1200sf is plenty here. I have a quilting space and he has a shop we built out the backdoor a few years ago.
Our city home is 1850sf. it could be smaller but it isn't and we've been there 27y. It's paid for and it serves us well. There too we have minimal furniture and a well stocked kitchen. I have adequate quilting space and there lives my mid-arm quilting machine (in the living room with my upright grand piano. If there were anything still to downsize, it would be clothing. I'm not trendy at all and I buy quality so there it hangs. Every summer I think I'll get rid of 3/4 of it, but I don't.
Like you IL, no children. Who knows who will go through it all when the last of us goes. The cabin goes to my youngest nephew in our will. The city house? hmmmmm......
interesting discussion.
iris lilies
1-1-19, 7:10pm
So, Today. Financial reckoning. It is 2019.
We here in the Iris Lily household have arguments about money but it isnt the conventional arguments we have.Hence, this is why this post is in the “organizing your life” thread, not the reckoning thread. Our arguements are about organizing the information about our assets and are NOT about spending.
The following is my opinion of course and is not objective.:~)
DH takes a micro approach to our financial life.He handles the day to day stuff. While I value his focus on details for that (and bless him, he caught errors from our bank !) I am not interested in that micro view. I want the managerial overview.
I was the one who 25 years ago asked that we record our assets in a summary document. It is a essentially a list of our current assets with some generic account numbers; it also includes a snapshot of the value of our assets from 1993 until now and also inclues contact infor for all of our accounts.
When our estate attorney worked with our assets she said this was the best summary she had seen on a long time. Yaya, me! I do love me some organization.
more....later. We are not done.
Iris, we have what we call the "Life Book". It has summary records from the 80s with our initial goals, yearly summary statements, future goals and things such as major purchases and spending amounts. It also includes our budgets, past, present and future. Our financial adviser also said it was a great organized set of records and they were able to jump right to recommendations rather than dealing with the details
I love seeing how far we have come. We are currently at twice our original goal.
Holy smoke, your two posts about longterm financial records puts me to shame. We went from no money to a little money to some money saved but good real estate choices that were always fully paid off ASAP and no debt. That was our financial budget and goal.
I just updated our financials yesterday and today. Income/expenses for 2018 and net worth statement. I keep about three years worth but don't see the sense in keeping (for us) more than that other than for a historical perspective. I keep monthly running tabs for major categories like groceries, utilities, savings etc. I like to see how much more is spent in a category so a few years provides comparison info and I can adjust for goals.
iris lilies
1-2-19, 2:12am
Continuing with finances and their organization...
Two years ago we had our will and trust done by an attorney. For the past two years I have been getting all of our property and assets into the trust. Yes it has taken two years, not because we have tons of assets but because we have tons of accounts. It is very stupid, the number of accounts we had.
So in this process we did end up closing accounts and cashing out some investments in order to simplify it all. But I am left with one kind of investment now, 6 figures in DH’s former company stock. The stock is represented by stock certificates which are kept in our safe that is seldom locked, but when it is locked I don’t know how to get it unlocked. This investment causes me grief because we cant get the stocks signed over to our trust because—I just dont know why. Two years of this process, and I am done with it, I give up and will leave this stock as is, in DH’s name. If we die our executor will have to fk endlessly with it.
The only reason we haven’t cashed it in is because it makes money, it’s a very strong stock. Then DH yells at me about how only he knows about the cost basis of each certificate and there are about 15 of them and yada yadda.
This financial asset makes a mockery of my otherwise semi organized record and it is a disorganized mess.
I'm beginning to sniff around the idea of finding or building a 1200 sq. ft cabin here on the island, and ditching the 4000+ sq. ft. home I am now the sole year-round occupant of.
PInkytoe: we dont keep physical records but when it is on the computer, it is easy to keep and update.
Razz: We were always looking towards retirement and a long life. I based mine projections on the fact both my parents were hale and hearty.
We have radically different finance ideas. Husband took over details and agreement was he would be able to provide the details and summaries whenever I felt I needed to see them. We started reviewing once a month and after so many years we do it now once a year.
Teacher Terry
1-2-19, 11:38am
Wow Bae that’s a huge house. Good idea to downsize.
The cool thing about building a 1200 foot cabin is you can make everything beautiful and useful, a little gem.
iris lilies
1-2-19, 1:32pm
Iris, we have what we call the "Life Book". It has summary records from the 80s with our initial goals, yearly summary statements, future goals and things such as major purchases and spending amounts. It also includes our budgets, past, present and future. Our financial adviser also said it was a great organized set of records and they were able to jump right to recommendations rather than dealing with the details
I love seeing how far we have come. We are currently at twice our original goal.
My organizational goal is a financial bag, a bag of info on paper that also includes a thub drive or two of same.
What for do you think should go into it? I am not interested in keeping future projections or actual spending records. The purpose is for our executor to find most everything they need to carry out closing of our estate, but also as a “bug out” bag it contains our current dinancial life.
our 4 page document contains a summary of our assets and where to find them, a list of our credit cards, names and contact info for our account managers at brokerage firms, and our social security numbers.
Any suggestions? I think
I will start a new thread for this. It is not the first time we have talked about it, but a refresher is good.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2025 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.