January purge [Archive] - Simple Living Forums

Tradd

1-6-19, 7:59pm

Got rid of a ton of stuff today. Bunch of clothes that no longer fit. I pitched them all - worn out and stretched out stuff. Not worth it to donate. Cleared a bunch of old spices and such out of kitchen cabinets. Old papers, some magazines, etc. Just a ton of stuff. I have some more things to go, but the majority of it is done.

Felt FAB to get it done.

rosarugosa

1-6-19, 8:08pm

Good work, Tradd!
I am working on my annual file purge and making good progress. I also sold an old camera on eBay. It was a good camera, but I don't see myself ever going back to film. I haven't used it in 12 years or more, so at this point it was just clutter.

Tradd

1-6-19, 8:13pm

I've posted a bunch of not used any longer dive gear online that has mostly all sold. It covered some new gear purchases with some left over.

Teacher Terry

1-6-19, 9:19pm

Worked on my kitchen today and have boxes for the thrift store. I like being able to keep the lids on the pots even though it takes up room. We have a small kitchen but only need so much stuff even with entertaining frequently. The book mentioned in the other thread said to think of your home as a container and only so much stuff fits in it. She said to think of everything that way so you only can have as many clothes as fit in your closet, so many books for a bookcase, etc.

Yppej

1-7-19, 5:28am

DS got me new household items to replace worn out ones for my birthday, so I am tossing grungy items like an old cookie sheet, old plunger, stained sheet, etc.

Teacher Terry

1-7-19, 12:00pm

Y, what nice gifts from your son.

iris lilies

1-7-19, 12:08pm

I am mentally making a list of things to donate to the Park
conservancy sale, but that doesnt take place until June. I suppose I should make an actual list because by then
I will have forgotten some of it.

Teacher Terry

1-7-19, 12:50pm

IL, when I have to wait to donate I box it all up and mark the boxes so when the time comes I am ready.

iris lilies

1-7-19, 1:57pm

IL, when I have to wait to donate I box it all up and mark the boxes so when the time comes I am ready.
I would, but most of them are rather large.

Teacher Terry

1-7-19, 5:35pm

Then it sounds like a list is the better option.

rosarugosa

1-7-19, 7:25pm

Yppej: Sounds like you also got rid of a few "sparks annoyance" items!

Teacher Terry

1-7-19, 8:26pm

I recently went threw bath towels and kitchen towels and did the same. It’s ridiculous to have drawers or hall linen closet jammed backed with stuff. It is easy now to find stuff.

iris lilies

1-10-19, 1:19pm

We inherited two buckets of shells when we bought our Hermann house. The woman two owners ago was from Florida so I’m sure the shells originated with her. I like shells so that’s why didn’t throw them away but I didn’t know what I was going to do with them.

Well, lo and behold, someone put a request out on Nextdoor for many shells because she is rebuilding a large grotto in her backyard. Yay! She got the shells.

Yppej

1-20-19, 5:50pm

Travel brochures and related materials for trips outside the region. After my last excursion I decided I want to stay closer to home and spend more time on attractions and less driving.

rosarugosa

1-21-19, 6:56am

DH went through his socks and got rid of a bunch he doesn't like. Those went into fabric recycling bag. I added an unloved bra. DH also culled some items that were languishing in the kitchen cupboard.

Tea

1-21-19, 8:43am

It's inspiring to read about de-cluttering successes.

There is one closet in this house that could really use a purge, but none of the stuff in there is mine, so it would take some cooperation. I could swear nothing in there even gets used, because no one wants the chore of stuffing the pile back in and trying to get the doors closed, but for some reason there is always resistance to getting rid of it. Perhaps it is time to bring up the topic again.

By the way, if anyone has towels/sheets/blankets that are too worn or stained to donate to a thrift store, most animal shelters can use them. They go through a lot of that sort of thing.

Lainey

1-21-19, 10:54am

We're heading out later today to drop off a small garden potting bench, a heavy coverlet, and a few misc. items to our local Goodwill.
While there we are going to look around. We typically only go during 1/2 price Saturdays, but according to an internet author, he says Mondays are the best days because most donors drop off their items on the weekend. So Monday is when he's gotten his best buys - we'll see if that theory works out today. (not needing to add more to the household, but if something amazing turns up, well....)

Tybee

1-21-19, 11:31am

On Saturday we took two bags of stuff to the Goodwill, books and linens. Also took a breadmaker in since we found a more upscale breadmaker in SC, and have had two for three years now. While there picked up some Poppytrail china--cannot resist Poppytrail. Keep telling myself I will start selling it on Ebay--maybe this is the year!

rosarugosa

1-21-19, 12:43pm

I just went through a box of cosmetics and related items and got rid of several things. Why was I keeping awful color lipsticks that came free with purchase? I don't even wear lipstick that often, so even after winnowing down to the colors that I actually like, I probably have enough to last the rest of my life.
I also went though a shelf of small linen items (place mats and such) and got rid of a few items from there.
It's easy for me to rationalize having too much stuff because everything is tidy and stowed away. As I'm decluttering though, I find that it is really nice to have drawers and shelves and closet rods that are not so crowded. It's easier to see what I have and to find what I'm looking for.

Teacher Terry

1-21-19, 1:29pm

My friends mom is 84 and getting rid of stuff. She offers it to her daughter and I before the thrift store. I took 3 tablecloths and then got rid of some of mine. I have also taken a few decorative items.

Yppej

1-21-19, 6:53pm

I am going through old recipes and making them again, then tossing the ones I no longer like.

rosarugosa

1-22-19, 8:23pm

I went through my 3 wicker chests of linens & miscellaneous and culled the following:
Tote bag, framed picture, 4 tablecloths - to be donated to Savers
Flannel sheets and pillowcases (pretty worn) - to be donated to cat rescue group
Flannel sheet and pillowcases (good shape and good brands) - will try to sell on eBay
Valance - will try to sell on eBay
Old bed pillow and storage bags - trash

saguaro

1-23-19, 2:56pm

DH is purging his comics collection and finally, finally, after years of saying he wanted to do this, sold 9 boxes to a local dealer. DH was paid a decent sum and is now continuing to purge more.

Not only does it get him more space to work on the rest but he considers any money from the sales to make up for losing retirement money when he was unemployed.

gazingmassachusetts

1-24-19, 5:27am

I've been getting rid of a lot of stuff lately, but haven't quite had the heart to completely sell or give them away just yet :( I put everything into storage for now, and will decide what to do with everything later. Main thing is that they are out of the house and have freed up so much space, as well as making my head clearer :D Lots of old paintings, some furniture, and boxes of odds and ends really... I used this service (https://www.boxie24.com/en-us/storage-units-near-me), if anyone wants to do the same with a storage unit. It's a good first step for a purge!

Teacher Terry

1-24-19, 1:10pm

I think paying for storage is a bad idea. It just allows you to procrastinate and some people end up paying for it for years. When I have large items to get rid of I either sell them, list for free or call a thrift store to come. The more I have downsized the easier it gets. It used to be hard for me to get rid of stuff.

mschrisgo2

1-24-19, 2:30pm

Our regional museum holds a white elephant sale annually. Paintings and other art pieces are hot items there. I just donated 3 from my house. As soon as I saw their eagerness to have them, I knew I was doing the right thing.

mschrisgo2

1-27-19, 4:10pm

Four hours on clothes yesterday. Interestingly, this was prompted by the desire to move my sheets from the bathroom cupboard to the bottom drawer of my dresser. The sheets were hard to get to and I knew the bottom drawer was a wasteland of tops I haven't worn in forever. By the time I had emptied the bottom drawer, culled and moved the sheets, half filled a large bag of giveaway clothes, I was motivated to tackle my closet. I took things out in groups instead of all at once, which made it much easier- I did not get overwhelmed- short sleeve tees, long sleeve tees, dressier shirts, etc. (yes, I hang my tees. Marie Kondo would be horrified! LOL)

All in all, a couple of things into the trash, a bag full for Goodwill (cloth recycle), and another bag full of perfectly good clothes that I will drop off to the Food Bank/Winter Closet this week.

The biggest plus of all, when I got dressed this morning I felt blessed rather than deprived- I have lots to choose from! All neatly organized, hanging in my closet.

Lainey

1-28-19, 10:17am

mschrisgo2,
I found the same domino effect when I was purging my closets post-retirement. I actually donated an empty dresser and side table to a local furniture charity.
Success breeds more motivation!

Teacher Terry

1-28-19, 11:56am

Husband out of town for 2 weeks so going to purge the garage.

saguaro

1-28-19, 1:21pm

Husband out of town for 2 weeks so going to purge the garage.

Good time to do it. I have done all my garage purges when DH has been away.

iris lilies

1-28-19, 3:05pm

Husband out of town for 2 weeks so going to purge the garage.

sigh,
I dare not touch anything in the garage. Yet, there is no place to pile simple hand tools. We have a big double garage and every inch is taken up.

Teacher Terry

1-28-19, 3:54pm

IL, I am not allowed to either but if I don’t make it to neat he never notices. A few years ago I got rid of 2/3 what was in his huge shed. About 15 years ago we bought a house with a q/2 garage yet couldn’t put a car in it. 2 of my grown kids returned to finish college. My step son moved in and was 13. My husband was the leader of a youth group so they were gone many weekends. So I would fill my trunk with junk and take to my work dumpster. When I started the boxes were up to my chest and when it got to knee level my kids thought he would notice. I made sure to leave it messy and he never did. I wanted more room around my laundry area and now I have it. Occasionally I can get him to purge so maybe this spring I will volunteer to help him and we can do it together. I have to be careful out there because I don’t want to throw away a part to a expensive tool. The shed was easier because so much was plain junk.

iris lilies

1-28-19, 7:05pm

You “made sure to leave it messy” is the key. That is what I call stealth decluttering. Getting rid of stuff, but filling in those empty spaces with other stuff. I do it in our kitchen and in our closets. It works! But I wouldnt touch the garage, he would notice.

i feel sorry for my DH because he is gonna have to clean out our tiny house that we use as a storage shed. What a sad waste of his life energy. But then, maybe I dont feel sorry for him because it is mostly all his stuff. I volunteered to transport all of the black plastic plant containers to the special place that takes them, but he couldnt let go of those. Ok, whatever, his loss.

Teacher Terry

1-28-19, 7:38pm

Actually when I did the shed it was so obvious that I had to confess that I got rid of some stuff. What I threw away was truly garbage like junk wood, stuff that was broken. I also paid a guy I know that works under the table to help me organize and sort so it made sense to a man. I presented it as a gift. It is much better . He saves stupid stuff. He will take mail or receipts to his office and a decade later it’s still there if I don’t take care of it. When our printer broke he put it in his office and was going to fix it. A year later it was still there. It’s gone now :)). He will never fix it.

iris lilies

1-28-19, 8:08pm

Dude, we have a computer circa 1990’s stored in the garage. Yeah, that is relevant.

At least he is not renting stealth storage units. Our friend with hoarder husband ran across a bill from one of the U-Store-It place and discovered a decitful trail of storage secrecy! Haha, but not so haha.

Chicken lady

1-28-19, 8:56pm

How is a secret storage unit ethically different from secret decluttering?

Teacher Terry

1-28-19, 9:04pm

If I didn’t declutter our garage and shed would be unusable and my laundry is in the garage. A secret storage unit is bizarre. Lots of people stealth declutter. Another retirement forum people do it a lot. Then people debate the ethics. Those people probably have a neat partner.

Chicken lady

1-28-19, 9:34pm

Lots of people have stealth storage.

or mistresses.

are you actually saying it’s ethically different because you think it’s more common?

or because it makes life easier and more functional for you without having to have an arguement/discussion/negotiation with your partner? - same could be said for the storage unit. Or the mistress.

I can’t see that making it right. But you know which partner I am.

and I was/am really asking.

iris lilies

1-28-19, 9:48pm

How is a secret storage unit ethically different from secret decluttering?
No, these are similar if not the same, generally speaking with all things being equal.

But for my household, a regular secretive financial obligation—like a secret storage shed— , one committed by my uber financially conservative DH would be worrisome indeed because he doesnt like to spend money. I would wonder what the hell is IN that shed. Body parts? Fancy double bed for asignations with women? That old Dodge Charger he told me he got rid of?

Alan

1-28-19, 9:53pm

I would wonder what the hell is IN that shed. Body parts? Fancy double bed for asignations with women? That old Dodge Charger he told me he got rid of?Stan Smith had one with a DeLorean in it. Frannie was pissed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ys58YD4XE9c

Tammy

1-28-19, 10:04pm

I agree with chicken lady’s concerns. I go into the garage to empty the trash sometimes, but that’s my husbands area and I don’t seclutter his stuff. Just like I don’t declutter his clothing closet. That’s his stuff and it would be wrong. What if he gave away my clothing? I’d be pretty angry.

Teacher Terry

1-29-19, 1:28am

We are talking mail, receipts and broken stuff. Not clothes, etc.

Chicken lady

1-29-19, 6:29am

You are making a value judgement, using your values on his stuff, without his knowledge or consent.

unless you know that he would agree that the stuff you are taking is worthless and should be disposed of - in which case, why not just tell him?

in my eyes, The fact that your values are the majority values, does not make that right. The only justification I can see for that would be that you consider the person truly incapable of making his own decisions - like a small child or a senile adult. Or, one could argue, due to mental illness. But if that is the tack you are taking on this, as someone who suffers from the same mental illness, you should be aware that the path you are taking has been shown to make this particular mental illness worse, and destroy relationships permanently.

i think I just realized that may be why these conversations bother me so much. If you are simply lying and sneaking around behind your partner’s back - well, that says something about you and I can feel sorry for him, but maybe he would just rather not know and continue as things are, people make all kinds of accommodations in relationships. But if you are actually trying to deal with some level of hoarding, you are not only risking damaging the relationship, but probably making the problem worse. And I worry for you both. And most of society will cheer you instead of warning you, so I feel like eventually I have to say something to help you understand.

so, having tried to do that, I will drop it again unless you want to discuss it further.

JaneV2.0

1-29-19, 10:56am

Some Marie Kondo acolyte donated her son's travel mug to charity this week--with $6500 cash tucked inside, the proceeds from the sale of his car. A clear lesson in keeping your hands off other people's stuff--no matter what you think about its value.

Tybee

1-29-19, 11:47am

I can definitely see this from both sides. My bil is a hoarder, I guess you would call it, and his wife eventually moved out and bought another place, after he filled up her three flat. DH and I were talking about how much this has cost them as a marital unit over the years--I think it was about 400,000 in rent they could be charging on the three flat.

If I were she, I probably would have asked for a divorce, as he took over her house and her life and she can't retire, etc.

Or maybe she should have said, you get a storage unit, I am done being your storage unit.

I just don't know. I do know he has called my husband twice now and tried to store stuff in our barns and I have said no way, I will leave you if that happens.

We struggle with space issues in our marriage, as my husband has take over tendencies, and stores dumb ugly stuff, while I tend to get rid of nice things because you can only have so many things. Then my space contains his dumb ugly things, and my nice things are gone.

I don't know what the answer is. I guess if you want to stay married, you have to work out compromises.

Teacher Terry

1-29-19, 12:15pm

iris lilies

1-29-19, 12:24pm

In preparation for our next move which is years down the road, I told DH he can have the basement of our
Hermann house. The entire basement. But I get the first floor. Two upstairs bedrooms will be negotiated. I have to work on garage rule, but I think it can be managed if I declare that space for car stuff and only car stuff.not computers from 1990.. no garden pots and hoses and extra wood and etc. we have two sheds for garden stuff.

He does not get to place huge ugly-but-sort-of-retro-cool bedroom dresser in front of a street facing bedroom window. We are not going to be one of those hoarder houses that has furniture blocking the window. This furniture is hideous large, and smaller pieces would work fine in that room.

Teacher Terry

1-29-19, 12:50pm

IL, your husband is definitely worse than mine:)). Thankfully when we got together I lived in a small condo. He rented a storage unit for 2 years. Finally his mom and I convinced him to give his furniture to charity and get rid of the payment. We do have a few small chairs from his mom that are in his office. I won’t get rid of nice stuff so he can have something ugly in the main areas.

iris lilies

1-29-19, 3:00pm

Well, I fantasize about a living space where every foot isnt negotiated for ownership, where I dont have to block out sights (my ability to Not See things is pretty awesome!) And I will say that after 30 years in this city house, our first floor is nice. Nearly everything in the dirst floor is here because it is either useful or it is handsome. The rest of the house yeah nope. Our tiny houses, yeah, nope.

I looked at an absolutely perfect condo as a city place when we finally moved to Hermann. I may well want to escaoe to the city.

It is in a prewar building, it has crown molding on ceilings oak floors beautiful view, covered parking, cute as a bug. They were asking $78,000 and it sold immediately.265026512652

The bathroom had fabulous original Vitilite wall tile and original tile floor. The ugly vanity would have to go. The place had huge closets, one featured here. Kitchen was from the 80’s, old but functional.

there are always units for sale in this building, but this one was perfect.

saguaro

1-29-19, 3:14pm

He definitely has hoarding tendencies and his mom was bad. However, he enjoys living in a neat clean house. Since I do all the housework I set the cleanliness standard and he knew this when we first got together. He has trouble getting rid of stuff and is lazy when it comes to cleaning. Once in awhile he will dispose of stuff but it takes me pushing him and 10xs as long.

This sounds very similar to DH. He comes from a family of hoarders / pack rats and has a tendency to hold onto things "just in case". He's not messy, he's actually pretty organized but it eventually even organized clutter will become a hoard and I was bound and determined not to let our home become like his other family member's homes. Also since I was the one doing most of the housework, I mentioned (actually raised hell) how it was impacting cleaniness because I couldn't get to the area or I spent a good amount of time moving things around to do the cleaning.

He's gotten better at disposing of stuff but I still have to ride herd on him at times. Just last week, he mentioned he wants to get a new computer but still wants to hold onto the old one "just in case". I said no, we back up your old computer to an external hard drive which we got for that purpose and it goes bye bye. Still he's come a long way as he find he likes an uncluttered clean house but you get that way by not holding onto everything.

Tammy

1-30-19, 9:47am

JaneV2.0

1-30-19, 10:32am

Marie says nobody should mess with others peoples stuff. Each person does their own decluttering.

Apparently Mom didn't read the fine print...>:(

Teacher Terry

1-30-19, 11:18am

IL, I can’t believe how cheap that condo was. It’s cute.

Teacher Terry

1-30-19, 11:26am

Last night I attacked the kitchen again and now I have 2 empty shelves in my pantry which we can use to put food. When my MIL died my husband said to check all her clothes pockets, etc because she would put money in odd places.

Yppej

1-30-19, 7:04pm

I am purging some papers at work, more to go after the annual audit next month.

Teacher Terry

1-30-19, 7:09pm

Spent another full day at it. The big garbage can is full again and my car again.

Tybee

1-30-19, 7:31pm

Spent another full day at it. The big garbage can is full again and my car again.

Way to go!

Teacher Terry

1-30-19, 7:38pm

Just my stuff!

Teacher Terry

2-1-19, 2:55am

Chicken lady

2-1-19, 6:28am

TT ❤️:)

And has he maintained the shed for 5 years? That’s encouraging! Maybe over time you can help him need fewer cabinets.

Tybee

2-1-19, 8:51am

That is an interesting principle, TT and CL. Now that I have completed phase I of the album project, I find I have 15 photo albums, and all the pictures are in albums, except some from my folks, which are still their property which I have at my house for safekeeping. When they pass, I will revisit how many to keep and make new albums with the ones I keep.

But this has allowed me to make finite the photo universe. I now can say, do I want to devote 15 albums worth of space to this? Or do I want to purge some of the photos (give originals to kids, maybe) and get down to 10. What is my maximum acceptable album number? Is it 20? 30? Surely not more than that. What if I do an album a year from now on, or two, and I live another 25 years? That's 50 more albums on top of the 15. Surely that is too many.

So I think the idea of containing is brilliant. I once helped a friend with her closet--she had 125 golf shirts. I said, "How many golf shirts are you willing to have, wear, care for?" I don't remember the number, but she got rid of a lot of golf shirts that day.

So I like this file cabinet idea a lot, Terry.

Teacher Terry

2-1-19, 12:10pm

Thanks CL and Tybee. Yes his shed is the same and he hasn’t added to it. Occasionally he will throw away a few things in his office but makes a big mess going through the boxes. Now he will be able to just open a drawer. The office hasn’t been cleaned in 7 years because it’s not possible. Now I can clean it.

Chicken lady

2-1-19, 1:42pm

That sounds terrific! Here’s hoping a clean office will inspire him to work through the drawers! Maybe strategically position a flat surface, a recycling bin, and a paper shredder. Does he prefer to work alone or have you nearby or helping? If nearby, would he get more done if you were both working on a clearing out project?

iris lilies

2-1-19, 2:18pm

Today I thought instead of being irritated with his stuff all over his office I bought a bunch of file cabinets and putting his stuff in there. Then the office can be cleaned and stuff contained. Will just let him know if it doesn’t fit it doesn’t stay like I did with his shed which has worked for 5 years.
Contained is a concept we are not sure of here in this household. My DH appears to believe in more than 3 dimensions . When the space goes from here X................................................. .................................................. ............x to nere

it still overflows, but
I am not blessed with the vision to see those additional dimensions of space that “contain” it.

I continue to talk about how easy it is to keep our Hermann house clean because there are no piles of crap or or tchotkes or etc in the main rooms. He sometimes seems to hear that.