View Full Version : Do you tell people who ask your age?
Since I no longer have a dog to walk for 1 1/2 hours a day, I have been swimming lengths for 30 mins and treading water for 15mins at the pool early mornings. I try for 6 days a week if possible.
A significant number of people come to socialize and do exercises together informally in a part of the shallow end. They have fun gossiping and have been coming for years. I try to be polite greeting all and socialize for about 5 mins but focus on my goals.
Earlier this week, one of the exercising ladies asked me why I keep my pool routine so focused on such vigorous activity. I honestly answered that I was replacing my dog walking exercise.
She then asked me how old I was. I wished that I had good response to that question.
I have found that once individuals reach a certain age, they seem to settle for less activity and limit their interest in trying new things. This can be any age from 30+ and up. I refuse to limit myself so don't share my age with anyone.
Do you have any witty wisdom in how to answer the question - how old are you?
Do you have any witty wisdom in how to answer the question - how old are you?
Not at all witty, and my answer seems to change on a yearly basis. I'm currently answering as 63.
I answer the question. Sometimes I even volunteer my age. I’m 57. It never mattered to me.
You could say “old enough to not ask people their age.” 😄
Well, all you have to do is look on my Facebook page, where my birthday is posted. I don't hide my age MOST of the time. But I do when I'm with clients--purely a business decision. So they don't ask ME, but sometimes when I mention my kids, they'll ask, "How old are your kids?" So I have to dodge the answer (My oldest son is 40!! How did that happen?) by saying, "Oh, they're all adults now." (The "now" intentionally placed to imply that they JUST turned 21).
As far as a witty retort to answer the question 'how old are you'--best I've heard is from the musical Mame: "Somewhere between 40 and death."
I tell them the truth and then sarcastically ask how decrepit they are. They usually answer!
Hmmm....I don't understand it being a problem....to tell someone your age. Are you reading too much into her question?
Hmmm....I don't understand it being a problem....to tell someone your age. Are you reading too much into her question?
I answered the question but I would never ask that question of anyone so maybe it is a personal peeve. I don't celebrate my birthday either. Every morning begins a day that is a celebration to enjoy. My wedding anniversary with its milestones was important to me but never a birthday.
Chicken lady
2-28-19, 8:41pm
Well, usually the people asking me are under 18. But yes, I always answer.
now that i’m 50, I often volunteer. “I’m fifty. I don’t (have to) [fill in the blank] any more.” Exercise and trying new things would not be in the blank. Putting up with nonsense of some type is often in the blank. I’m fifty, I don’t have time for that.
also, today one of my seventeen year olds said that 16 was the best age, and I asked “so it’s all down hill from here?” And he said “yep.” I told him, “well, if you want something to look forward to, fifty is pretty good.”
I am 57 years young! I never avoid the age question......I will take every year I get and stand proud!
I always do, gray hair kinda puts me in a range. Maybe it is comfortable because i have always looked younger. I like using it in the context of one of my staff complaining they feel old or tired while i am going strong ( not anyone with a real medical issue of course)
my most interesting reaction was a student who said i looked good for my age, followed up with ' you are going to die soon!
I answer with my age (60). I agree that it isn't a question I typically would ask those who are beyond the single digits. There are some exceptions, such as talking about retirement plans for example.
Two more weeks and I hit 61 years OLD - and I don't use "old" in a negative way. It's not negative to say "she's a 1 year old", is it? It's aging, it's a natural event, it starts the minute you are born and continues up until you die - LOL. In some cultures (I am personally aware of Korean culture), asking someone their age is the way to find out the age hierarchy of the immediate group and the level of respect/verbage to be used.
Interesting. Around age 60, I noticed sales clerks looking at me and then asking a sideways age question like, "Are there any discounts that I should apply today?" So they didn't want to automatically assume I was a senior lest I take that as an insult, but I thought that was a diplomatic way for me to say Yes or No.
Personally, I don't care if someone asks, and I'm especially happy to get the discounts we seniors are entitled to, so Ask away!
Like rosarugosa, it's not something I would typically ask someone. Maybe she was about to give you a compliment (or what she felt was a compliment) by saying how young you look for your age?
I don't mind telling my age. I'm 52 and am always told I look late 30s-40s. My hair is getting a bit salt and peppery so that will be a giveaway at some point. It helps that I'm thin, flat-chested and have a short haircut and take care of my skin. And I act a bit young and goofy for my age.
My coworkers are all much younger than me (I'm the oldest in my area) and will often say they forget that I'm older than their parents : (
Unfortunately my hands are looking a bit arthritic, with crooked bumpy joints. Hands and necks will always tell a woman's age.
i don't mind telling people my age, but also question the politeness of someone who asks. I guess it depends on how I know the person and why they are asking. I don't really think it's an important item for most other people to know.
mschrisgo2
3-1-19, 11:38pm
Funny story, I think... When I was a kid, my little sister asked my mom how old she was. My mom answered her with, "who wants to know?" assuming she was repeating the question of a classmate- Bingo! So Mom said, "I'm 102."
Fast forward a whole bunch of years. When I started teaching, after working in another career for 20 years, my first group of students crowded around me at recess on the second day and asked the same question, "How old are you?" I thought it a rude and fairly irrelevant question. I briefly thought of saying, "Tell your mom to come and ask me herself" but thought better of it.
Remembering my mom's answer to my sister, I said, "I'm 102."
The next morning there were 6 parents waiting to see me before school! One of them said to the group, with great exasperation in her voice, "oh, she's not THAT old!" and she and 3 others left!! The other 2 stayed to introduce themselves and chat a bit.
The truth was, I was old enough to be their parents, and the same age as some of the kids' grandparents. But it didn't matter and I think I got my point across. I never did answer the age question at school until the spring I was retiring. One of my best students asked, "How old are you, anyway?" I said,"I was 66 in January." Her response was, "Well, thank you for teaching so long so you could be my favorite teacher!"
That is cute, Chris.
As I have watched the group that swim/paddle and socialize solving the world's problems each morning, I believe that determining one's age is a form of establishing hierarchy. Many have health issues and come for the benefit of buoyancy easing their joints while they do exercises and visit, as a number have been doing for decades. I just swim lengths, tread water and visit briefly so didn't fit the usual criteria. Why was I there? I do know a number of them as acquaintances for years so am quite comfortable being there and they smooth my way. People are interesting creatures.
I think that I will respond with either 'I am receiving OAS (Canadian SS)' and redirect the conversation or 'why do you ask? I never think about birthdays or age?'. Both are true.
I don't think that asking one's age is polite. I puzzled why and then remembered that years ago a friend was asked his age. His response - how old do you think I am? The person asking the question suggested an age that was 15 years older than my friend's actual age. My friend was devastated and had been struggling with depression issues already over turning 40 years old. It took a lot of talking to relieve the hurt from someone just being nosy.
That is cute, Chris.
I don't think that asking one's age is polite. I puzzled why and then remembered that years ago a friend was asked his age. His response - how old do you think I am? The person asking the question suggested an age that was 15 years older than my friend's actual age. My friend was devastated and had been struggling with depression issues already over turning 40 years old. It took a lot of talking to relieve the hurt from someone just being nosy.
I'm sorry for your friend being depressed about their age, but I can't help thinking that if he had just answered, it would have avoided being hurt by a bad "guess". I will be the first to admit that I'm horrible at guessing ages!!! Hence, why I will ask. But to each their own, I guess.
The truth was, I was old enough to be their parents, and the same age as some of the kids' grandparents. But it didn't matter and I think I got my point across. I never did answer the age question at school until the spring I was retiring. One of my best students asked, "How old are you, anyway?" I said,"I was 66 in January." Her response was, "Well, thank you for teaching so long so you could be my favorite teacher!"
What a funny story! And with such a happy ending--what a sweet thing for your student to say!!
I think the whole "never ask a woman her age" is changing a little. Because women now are less invested in looking like a Stepford wife, we're more accepting of our age. I'm about the happiest I've ever been at 66 and I don't care who knows it.
That being said, here is a little fun sidebar to the conversation: have you guys ever used How Old Am I? https://www.how-old.net
It takes a picture of you (or you could upload one) and guesses how old you are. Try it! But don't take it too seriously. The first time I used it they said I was 87, even though just a few years back, people mistook my son and I as husband and wife. And I have another picture of my kids that tested and they were SPOT ON for with my oldest son, DIL, grandson and DD, but they pegged my second son 20 years older at 55! I've never told him that.
I like being out front about my age (52) and will often mention it in conversation - partly because, for years, people assumed I was much younger and then they were sort of horrified when they figured out my actual age as if I had tried to pass as younger or trick them - which got irritating.
I should add: I think these days I look closer to my actual age, but I still put it out there when I can.
That said, I wouldn't ask any other adult under any circumstances. I've just learned many people are really uncomfortable being asked, so I leave it alone.
I think it's okay to just say, "I don't like sharing my age." There are all sorts of good reasons not to.
I also think, we, in general, as a society (maybe particularly women) feel obligated to answer any questions we're asked, and that a lot of questioners take advantage of that people-pleasing tendency. It's not just questions about age. People sometimes ask very personal questions (e.g. "Why'd you get a divorce?") In such cases, I REALLY think it's healthy to set boundaries and say, "I'm private about that" or "I don't feel comfortable sharing that." Sometimes we need to educate each other about appropriate behavior. Many people have set boundaries like that with me over the years, and it has helped me be a lot more considerate in social situations.
I also think, we, in general, as a society (maybe particularly women) feel obligated to answer any questions we're asked, and that a lot of questioners take advantage of that people-pleasing tendency. It's not just questions about age. People sometimes ask very personal questions (e.g. "Why'd you get a divorce?") In such cases, I REALLY think it's healthy to set boundaries and say, "I'm private about that" or "I don't feel comfortable sharing that." Sometimes we need to educate each other about appropriate behavior. Many people have set boundaries like that with me over the years, and it has helped me be a lot more considerate in social situations.
To some degree - I agree. There are many people who are "people-pleasers", but I also think many are just more open than others. As for responding to questions that may get personal, I like to respond with: "Why do you ask?" ;)
I think it's a rude question to ask someone you don't know, but I guess my response would depend on who is asking.
Teacher Terry
3-7-19, 10:35am
I don’t mind people asking my age. I had my kids young and for a long time looked young so people always thought my oldest was my brother and it made him so mad. Anyways that ship has sailed:))
I'm so tired of all the birthday stuff on Facebook. I gave up the daily greetings last year and this year figured out I could hide my own birthday info. So glad to not have to weed through several hundred "Happy Birthday" greetings or hear that ding notification every few seconds all day long. But no, back to question, I don't mind saying my age. I'm still at the point where I like hearing "but you don't look that old".
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