View Full Version : Manifesting Your True Self
No, this isn't a New Age thread. I'm not channeling Wayne Dyer here.
In an effort to quell the angst I've had about color palettes for the VT house, I've been poring over Pinterest boards. In the process I discovered this website (https://kristinnicholas.bigcartel.com). I'm in love with this woman! Not only does she have the cheeriest house imaginable, but she has a great life on a Massachusetts home farm and she actually creates the fiber decor--printing, knitting, crocheting, etc.
She reminds me of a slice of a younger me--the "me" I was before marriage, family and work. I oil painted, drew portraits, made all my own clothes, made costumes for community theatre, made all my Christmas presents to family and friends, did embroidery and crewel work, hooked rugs, and pursued other types of "Renaissance woman" skills.
ALL that went away. And finding that website made me wonder: Why? Did I lose interest? Am I not talented enough? Or did I simply get too busy? I loved that life. And it's completely gone now.
My favorite simple living book--and I have it on my "altar" where I can see it and be inspired by it every day, is "A Handmade Life" (https://www.chelseagreen.com/product/a-handmade-life/) by William Coperthwaite. He writes about the beauty in literally crafting the tools of life, and I love that.
So why am I so enthralled with Kristen N and William C? Am I yearning to find that part of myself again? If so, why did I abandon it for 40 years? Who IS my true self? The marketing consultant or the Renaissance teen?
So here is the DEEP question for a Friday: Who is your true self, and are you manifesting it to your satisfaction?
I'm going to need to think more on your question, but I'd just like to comment on the website's beautiful crewel work. I haven't seen that since the 70's! So pretty.
iris lilies
3-1-19, 9:56am
I get to live my authentic life now completely, as someone who doesnt punch a time clock.I will say that for the vast majority of my working life I was very interested in the work and sometimes found it thrilling, so I guess that was my authentic self at work.
It can be a little intimidating to FINALLY be free of limits and restraints in crafting my daily life. My responsibilites are few—care for the dog, keep house cleanish, cook a little. And I could hire the cleaning out and not replace pets when they die, so that would be even more freedom. But I wont do that, gotta have a silly bulldog around here.
I also love the exuberant colors of this website. Anyone who uses hot pink prominantly is my kinda gal.I love gypsy caravan decorating with lots of color and pattern. Her decor reminds me of that middle Eastern guy’s quilt books—someone here probably knows who I am talking about, something like Kahal Fassem. I couldnt find him in a quck search on the internet.
I dont want to live in strong color on color and pattern on pattern hoise, but I love that look and wouldnt mind one room that way.
At the risk of sounding a little trite, 'to everything there is a season". Yes, the woman in one's teens and 20's has skills and interest that she really enjoys and use up her free time. Then if it is time to explore the family roles, wife, mother, DIL etc., with all its responsibilities, something has to give way. There is simply not enough time to do it all properly plus work outside the home and volunteer. There are valuable skills discovered and accumulated that need to be acknowledge and respected from this season of one's life. I wouldn't have missed a moment of it.
That said, in my teens and 20's, I was capable with machinery maintenance, willing to explore and rescue the world from its challenges and life was just an adventure. I experienced the 'family season', learned a lot, accomplished many things that I had dreamed about but now, I am back to some of the dreams of my teens and 20's and have the time and money to do them with wisdom and experience to guide me. I have returned to my art, my needlework but find that there is a depth of soul-searching that my younger me wasn't interested in doing. I am doing my own machinery maintenance and exploring the world but now knowing that I cannot rescue it on my own.
I suspect that one needs to be willing to change into the different 'seasons' of life to enjoy the experience. Holding onto a position outgrown because it is familiar means missing out on the adventure ahead, IMHO anyway.
I lost myself years ago. I've always blamed employment, but that's likely too simplistic.
I've always been a dilettante, with so many interests (and probably a touch of ADHD), that I never focus on anything for long.
I have the greatest envy for those who identify their passion early and dedicate their life to it.
Kristin Nicholas's work--the book Joyful has a couple of chapters on the life-enhancing power of color.
flowerseverywhere
3-1-19, 4:44pm
Iris it is Kaffe Fasset. (Rhymes with safe asset).
I have done this this my whole life. Every afghan, pillow, quilt etc, all our bedding is made by me. All of our pottery dishes and serving dishes are are made by me. Our furniture is all handcrafted, the complicated pieces we had made but a lot of the wood in the house was made by DH. I reupholstered my couch and chair and I have my watercolors and quilts on the walls. My walls and floors are deliberately neutral though. I used to make a lot of clothes and knit socks and sweaters too. Now I rarely make clothes as I live a jeans and t shirt life. And a lot of the intricate handwork like knitting is out due to arthritis.
I always have to be doing and making something, usually several projects at a time. Even when I worked full time I always did this. Sometimes I’m in someone’s showcase home and know mine is not likely to be in a magazine, but I love it. Plus I have lots of flowers outside and flowering plants like African violets and Christmas cactus (my salmon one is in Full bloom now) I don’t have piles of craft supplies and fabrics, just a small stash and I use it up. I guess it has to be in your blood. But you can always pick up a small project and start.
Now on that I am retired I do more stuff, and include exercise and genealogy research too in my day. Life is good.
You know... I am an avid garage saler and bargain hunter. I cannot see making something when I can buy it so much cheaper. I would rather spend my time doing something else. Interesting in how we all preserve things.
Flowers: it sounds like you must have a wonderful home!
I am really trying to re-manifest myself back into my dream life here in New Mexico. It has been such a grueling year in so many ways ~ the death of my daughter and two debilitating surgeries within months of each other, all while actively in menopause, plus this stupid chronic side-hip, gluteus medius pain. In spite of all these trials, now that spring is coming I am sort of maybe seeing the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. I went on two hikes this week, nothing hard because I am still experiencing pain and other issues with the last surgery, but it felt so good to be outside in this beautiful landscape, traipsing around in my favorite places. I can feel my old wanderlust starting to return. I'm starting to want to start playing music with other people again and be more sociable. I am surviving all this and hope to start thriving soon.
Flowers: it sounds like you must have a wonderful home!
I agree.. I'd love to see pictures!
iris lilies
3-1-19, 7:36pm
I am really trying to re-manifest myself back into my dream life here in New Mexico. It has been such a grueling year in so many ways ~ the death of my daughter and two debilitating surgeries within months of each other, all while actively in menopause, plus this stupid chronic side-hip, gluteus medius pain. In spite of all these trials, now that spring is coming I am sort of maybe seeing the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. I went on two hikes this week, nothing hard because I am still experiencing pain and other issues with the last surgery, but it felt so good to be outside in this beautiful landscape, traipsing around in my favorite places. I can feel my old wanderlust starting to return. I'm starting to want to start playing music with other people again and be more sociable. I am surviving all this and hope to start thriving soon.
I have always thought that you have rich inner resources to draw upon. It is true that you have had so much SHIT Happen this year that is difficult to get beyond it. But in the end I think he will end up OK I have always thought you would end up living an authentic life.
You know... I am an avid garage saler and bargain hunter. I cannot see making something when I can buy it so much cheaper. I would rather spend my time doing something else. Interesting in how we all preserve things.
Depends on how much you enjoy making things, I guess. Because we don't like the couch we bought last year (or at least DH doesn't like it), so we bought two wing chairs at a consignment shop. I'm not crazy about the fabric pattern, so I'm playing around with the idea of making slipcovers in maybe a linen or cotton duck. I know I could do it. I can make patterns and I can sew... but I'm afraid of procrastinating and never getting it done.
My authentic self is a bookworm, Star Trek nerd, and being outdoors when the weather is comfortable and I’m sitting in the shade.
It took 50 years to figure this out. Ha.
My authentic self is a bookworm, Star Trek nerd, and being outdoors when the weather is comfortable and I’m sitting in the shade.
It took 50 years to figure this out. Ha.
Better late than never, Tammy! :)
I've always been a dilettante, with so many interests (and probably a touch of ADHD), that I never focus on anything for long.
Sounds like me for sure
Kristin Nicholas's work--the book Joyful has a couple of chapters on the life-enhancing power of color.
I'll have to check that book out. I already one-clicked two of her books (Darn my gazingus pin book compulsion)
iris lilies
3-1-19, 8:12pm
Iris it is Kaffe Fasset. (Rhymes with safe asset).
I have done this this my whole life. Every afghan, pillow, quilt etc, all our bedding is made by me. All of our pottery dishes and serving dishes are are made by me. Our furniture is all handcrafted, the complicated pieces we had made but a lot of the wood in the house was made by DH. I reupholstered my couch and chair and I have my watercolors and quilts on the walls. My walls and floors are deliberately neutral though. I used to make a lot of clothes and knit socks and sweaters too. Now I rarely make clothes as I live a jeans and t shirt life. And a lot of the intricate handwork like knitting is out due to arthritis.
I always have to be doing and making something, usually several projects at a time. Even when I worked full time I always did this. Sometimes I’m in someone’s showcase home and know mine is not likely to be in a magazine, but I love it. Plus I have lots of flowers outside and flowering plants like African violets and Christmas cactus (my salmon one is in Full bloom now) I don’t have piles of craft supplies and fabrics, just a small stash and I use it up. I guess it has to be in your blood. But you can always pick up a small project and start.
Now on that I am retired I do more stuff, and include exercise and genealogy research too in my day. Life is good.
Yes! kaffe Fasset! Thank you. His stuff is so colorful.
I've always been a dilettante, with so many interests]
When I was a child, my dad had many serial interests. He decided to become a pilot, then a winemaker, then he was into RVs, and now at 89, he'd into making things from wood. My mom used to say (derogatorily) you never stay with anything.
As a child, I would flit from thing to thing and again I would hear my mother say you never stay with anything.
I just can't imagine having the same hobby my entire life. I enjoy the process of learning, the idea of being uncomfortable and uncompetent as I learn something new. But once I'm decent enough, I lose interest (except for gardening). I don't want to spend that 90% of the time to get 10% better.
I used to cross stitch when that was big, and I've quilted, and needlepointed. I got good enough and now they don't interest me as much. Also, they've sort of fallen out of favor, so getting materials is difficult even if I was still interested. So yes, that was me back then, but it isn't really me now, and trying to recapture that just wouldn't really work anymore.
But to Catherine's point, yes I used to be more fun and more open to stuff and life happened and marriage happened, and what could happen (the bad stuff that could happen) is now in my mind- and I don't think I could ever be as spontaneous and full of life like I was at 22 ever again. And that is kinda sad.
I am working on figuring this out right now. I've had the opportunity here in my mid-50s to take time and think about these things, and potentially act upon them.
Heady and freeing.
No answers yet.
iris lilies
3-1-19, 8:56pm
I think you “scanners” are weird! You all are constantly scanning the world for new things that interest you. You take up and put down hobbies. You flit from one thing to another! Yes, dillitantes you are! Haha just ribbingnyou.
I think of myself as having had pretty much the same macro interests since I was 20 years old – Victorian architecture and castellated architecture, Bulldogs and flat faced pets, flowers and flower gardening, interior design. My micro interests have faded away, though.
iris lilies
3-1-19, 8:57pm
I am working on figuring this out right now. I've had the opportunity here in my mid-50s to take time and think about these things, and potentially act upon them.
Heady and freeing.
No answers yet. it is a good time of life.
Manifesting one's true self has triggered some thought.
A speaker at a conference years ago presented the idea that what one was really enthusiastic about at the age of 10 approximately would indicate the key interests in one's life. He had wanted to walk across the Sahara when he was a 10 year-old and finally did it in his 20's. That in turn triggered other challenges and directions.
I think that idea has some merit as I now realize that when I have gone back to those 10-year old's interests, I am content. I am doing most of them even today.
As a 10 year-old, I immigrated and
- wanted my own farm
- was intense about life and curious about the world
- love dogs
- love singing and music
- enjoy being in nature
- need continuous physical activity. Sitting still is not an option.
- don't tell me that "I can't" meaning incapable of doing
- respond to vivid colour in needlework, painting.
- need visual stimulation .
Perhaps another who did not go through a huge change at that age may not remember that time as vividly as I do.
Taking the philosophical approach to this discussion - lol. Change always happens... people, situations, locations, thoughts, actions...change is continuous - whether we recognize and/or acknowledge it or not. I like to think I am living my true, authentic self right now in this instant and I know that I will still be my true, authentic self an hour from now, a day from now, a week from now, etc. My true authentic self is not independent of me - happystuff.
Funny about the 10 year old thing, i am not sure about that age exactly but I do recall what I wanted when I was younger. I always wanted a day bed and now I have one. I am renting a room for a couple years and didn't want the entire room to be a bed so I got a twin daybed as a bed couch combo.
My crochet students have been women my age or older, most of them have crocheted before and lost the skills but as they get older or retire then they want to take it back up. They have a lot of creativity and pick it up easily. My last student was a super quick learner, she had been a pattern maker in her career.
Manifesting one's true self has triggered some thought.
A speaker at a conference years ago presented the idea that what one was really enthusiastic about at the age of 10 approximately would indicate the key interests in one's life. He had wanted to walk across the Sahara when he was a 10 year-old and finally did it in his 20's. That in turn triggered other challenges and directions.
I think that idea has some merit as I now realize that when I have gone back to those 10-year old's interests, I am content. I am doing most of them even today.
As a 10 year-old, I immigrated and
- wanted my own farm
- was intense about life and curious about the world
- love dogs
- love singing and music
- enjoy being in nature
- need continuous physical activity. Sitting still is not an option.
- don't tell me that "I can't" meaning incapable of doing
- respond to vivid colour in needlework, painting.
- need visual stimulation .
Perhaps another who did not go through a huge change at that age may not remember that time as vividly as I do.
Huh... Yes, that 10-year old theory is exactly why I asked myself the question about "did I abandon the real me?" I love your list, razz. If I were to do the same I'd say that I, at 10, loved to:
-read
-create (as mentioned earlier--paint, draw--it wasn't until I was in my teens that I got into sewing)
-write
-pray (I had an altar in my room at 10)
-listen to cast recordings of 60s musicals and sing and act them out in front of my full-length mirror. Forget Judy Garland--I knew the lyrics to every song she sang on the album Judy At Carnegie Hall (And still know the lyrics to many, especially on Side 4)
Interestingly, one thing I never liked about painting was the fact that the end product had no real utility. I used to wonder, what happens when I have no one left to give a painting to, and I have to store them up in my room??? What good are they?? I was more attracted to crafts that were artful but had some practical purpose. I think that's why I was so into sewing my own clothes in my teens. I probably would have made a great Shaker.
Recently I've taken to drawing botanicals, as a kind of meditative way to deepen my knowledge of flora to serve my new permaculture/gardening interest that has manifested itself over the past 7 years. I think I'm going to try to make those slipcovers and see if I'm bored or energized in the process. And, of course, designing and cultivating gardens is a great creative exercise.
For me, I've come to realize that I live a lot of my life in my head. Meaning, I don't do physically adventurous things, or even very many creative things with my hands, but I have a lot that I like to ponder which leads to my spare-time activities like joining in discussion groups or attending presentations or diving into topics with deep reading.
So to an outsider, it looks like my life is very boring: nothing hand-made, no extensive travel, no heavy-duty hiking or biking, etc. But as others have said, at this point in life I'm enjoying helping the next generation with regular babysitting (and occasionally offering my "free advice" ha) and also helping my community with various volunteer projects or opportunities.
In my earlier life I worked full-time, was a single mom, was on 2 professional association boards, helped several adult family members (including 2 veterans) with housing on/off for years, and managed the house/car/job responsibilities for decades without a hitch. Have been happy to lay most of that aside in retirement.
Luckily that fits with simple living because I've never yearned for those experiences or things which cost a lot of money.
My 10 year old self liked:
- any kind of music (although all I was exposed to at that point was pop music on AM radio because that's all there was on radio) and dancing in my room behind closed doors
- playing in the dirt/making gardens/being outside
- making useful things- it wasn't enough to create art, it had to have some utility (a paperweight, a scarf...)
- learning of all kinds, I used to read the encyclopedia just to learn about /everything/. There was also an absence of other books in the house so it was either that or nothing. I was intensely curious. (to this day, I have a strong bias towards non fiction)
My 10 year old self was always in motion, was always called a twitch and yelled at for not being able to sit still.
My 10 year old self hated:
- doing housework
- being made to observe rules/norms that made no sense
- being told that as a girl I was not able or allowed to do something, or conversely being made to do things because I was the girl (like make my brother's plate for him because girls serve).
So on both of those lists, nothing about my essence has changed, although the outward manifestations have. :)
I read that thing about revisiting one's younger self years ago, and it rang true for me.
I liked reading, nature, fashion, shopping, and animals. Nothing much has changed there.
I'm with herbgeek in that I never wanted to be someone's servant, and chafed at the "girls can't do that" rules.
Simplemind
3-2-19, 12:45pm
Catherine I totally get what you are saying about painting because I can't do one just to do one. I started doing watercolors when my mom went into hospice back in 2012. We both used to take classes in oil and acrylics back in the day. I wanted to try watercolor because it is hard (for me) and requires constructing things backwards and it took my mind off my moms suffering, at least for an hour or two. I quickly discovered I wasn't interested in painting for the wall and started painting for cards. You can paint for the wall and make a card but you can do many cards that you wouldn't necessarily do for a wall. I started painting cards for my clients after spending time with them and would give as a surprise. Then I started painting for holidays/seasons/birthdays/get well... etc. There is also no pressure with a card. Keep it or toss it. I have had people ask for a larger print for the wall and will gladly make it if they ask. Never would have/could have done that as easily with oils.
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