View Full Version : Are anniversaries of events real
I have had low moods for 2 weeks, and then a few things yesterday. The result was a lot of crying late in the evening. I have that post cry headache. I was thinking about this time of year being the anniversary of the worst breakdown I have ever had. I started my current job on August 1st. That should be positive, and overall the year has been good. Lots of self doubt and worrying about messing up or breaking down again.
Have others found it gets better after the anniversary?
iris lilies
7-1-19, 9:51am
I am still amazed that you were able to go job shopping and interviewing, and were able to snag a new job giving your mental state then.
That is some serious moxie.
Thank you!!! I really needed that today. (Now cried a little more)
Teacher Terry
7-1-19, 10:24am
You are a strong woman! Many people in your situation would have just wallowed.
Simplemind
7-1-19, 10:54am
Often when you are going through a life changing stressful time you knuckle through it and do what you have to do. It is only with some distance and time that you can look back and let the delayed emotion of it catch up to you. It catches you by surprise because you think you had all your "feels" at the time but actually you were too busy moving mountains and suppressed them. What you are feeling now is a normal reaction to the extraordinary life event you went through. You are stronger than you know or give yourself credit for. I admire the hell out of you!
Thank you all, it is going to take some effort to get to work and through the next couple days. I know I was on medical leave on the 4th but it is all rather fuzzy
Thank you all, it is going to take some effort to get to work and through the next couple days. I know I was on medical leave on the 4th but it is all rather fuzzy
Yes, they are real. Hang in there! It will pass and you will be OK. Sending hugs.
Okay today I apparently lost another reciept and that is a big deal. Of course it is. I started a new system to track how much i am using my purchasing card, but it doesn't help what already happened. And it doesn't help that the supervisor we have on site is driving me bonkers. Today she told me how to talk to parents after our roller skating field trip. I am crabby and not saying anything because i know i am crabby.
Even if it anniversaries i think it is time to contact brain Dr. The Aurora theater anniversary is close too
Today she told me how to talk to parents after our roller skating field trip.
I kindly suggest that from now on you talk to parents exactly as she instructed you to.
I kindly suggest that from now on you talk to parents exactly as she instructed you to.
i do, whenever I am walked through a conversation I do that. I am really good at this part of my job, in fact my 2 colleagues for summer managed to anger every parent they talked to in the first 2 weeks. I followed up and made everyone happy. I think it is just automatic in this department to do this. She is not the first one, but my school year person realized i could do this well long ago.
So just following directions, yup
i do, whenever I am walked through a conversation I do that. I am really good at this part of my job, in fact my 2 colleagues for summer managed to anger every parent they talked to in the first 2 weeks. I followed up and made everyone happy. I think it is just automatic in this department to do this. She is not the first one, but my school year person realized i could do this well long ago.
So just following directions, yup
Is making parents happy the highest goal?
Also: My bosses sometimes talk to me about things of which I am already doing as per their instructions. Sometimes they like to hear themselves talk. So I pretend to pay close attention and I act like what they say matters. I continue to follow their instructions.
Sometimes you just have to pretend.
Teacher Terry
7-3-19, 9:49am
I find it ridiculous that a place hires professionals and then tries to micromanage them.
iris lilies
7-3-19, 9:54am
I find it ridiculous that a place hires professionals and then tries to micromanage them.
There are many instances where a “professional “ not only needs guidance but specific instruction. I’m not saying this is one of them, I’m just saying.
I managed people with advanced degrees for 30 years. Not everyone is good at everything. A professional degree doesn’t give magic powers of competence, Nor does it instruct them in the specific needs of a particular organization.
Teacher Terry
7-3-19, 2:17pm
IL, the difference is in teaching and human services you hire a professional due to their ability to communicate well. Never once have I known a supervisor to interfere in professional communication. By the time you have a master’s degree in those areas if you cannot communicate well the field is not a good fit. I am not suggesting ZG ignore her supervisor but they are definitely micromanaging.
There is a way to give guidance to an employee which will not feel like micromanaging, I have people reporting to me who have masters degrees and PhDs. But they still need input at times on policy and culture within our organization .
IL, the difference is in teaching and human services you hire a professional due to their ability to communicate well. Never once have I known a supervisor to interfere in professional communication. By the time you have a master’s degree in those areas if you cannot communicate well the field is not a good fit. I am not suggesting ZG ignore her supervisor but they are definitely micromanaging.
What I have seen is that professionals in the human services often have problems as bad or worse than the populations they are supposedly helping.
When I was briefly in the social work master's program... jeeeeeeesus! The people were screwed up! I remember thinking: "These crazies need to put their own oxygen masks on first!"
What I have seen is that professionals in the human services often have problems as bad or worse than the populations they are supposedly helping.
When I was briefly in the social work master's program... jeeeeeeesus! The people were screwed up! I remember thinking: "These crazies need to put their own oxygen masks on first!"
I think it's silly to equate professionalism with education levels. I've worked with many PHD's with terrible people skills and some with little awareness of anything outside their area of expertise.
Teacher Terry
7-3-19, 5:49pm
Yes Alan at the college level you run into that because research is the needed skill not teaching. For a regular teacher or social worker the job is all about communicating. Tammy, teaching someone about policy or culture is different than instructing them on what should be the very core of their jobs. There truly is a difference.
I am finding this interesting. I think I am highly challenged in the detailed work area of my job. My Masters shows that I managed it well enough to get through the program and graduate. It is still totally challenging to me. I would not say I don't need direction or correction at times. I am however really good at some things! So it is kinda painful when I feel frustrated in being able to use those skills. This is based on feedback and comments over the years. I am not 100% sure that this is the primary part of my job like someone asked, however my colleagues are now directing more of those challenging communication tasks to me. Either way for the tasks I am having a hard time with I am talking to my brain DR and one of my buddhist teachers for support.
One of the high challenges in my work is that there are so many things to do and balance all the time. Today was much better. I took charge of some things more, and the supervisor/micro manager was quieter. We went to the water park. On the bus when we counted heads of kids and staff she made a comment that we had too many staff. I did the quick mental math and we did need all the staff before some absences. (I write the schedules so yeah that was towards me). Still much better.
Often when you are going through a life changing stressful time you knuckle through it and do what you have to do. It is only with some distance and time that you can look back and let the delayed emotion of it catch up to you. It catches you by surprise because you think you had all your "feels" at the time but actually you were too busy moving mountains and suppressed them. What you are feeling now is a normal reaction to the extraordinary life event you went through. You are stronger than you know or give yourself credit for. I admire the hell out of you!
Very nicely said and I totally agree.
Good for you, Zoe Girl!
Yes I get that - but when I say “culture” I’m including things like:
1. how to talk with a coworker so you are not provoking conflict - being accountable with your interpersonal communication
2. how to not take it personally when a mentally ill patient calls you a f#^king c{=t
3. how to be solution focused instead of concrete In your Interpretation of policy when the guardian of a special needs adult asks for an adjustment in how we approach the patient in order to find success in treatment
I usually expect professionals to understand this type of thing but some of them need guidance from their manager.
Which I guess illustrates Ultralite’s observation that some of those choosing the helping fields of work struggle with professionalism. I think it has to do with lack of boundaries around their own problems in these areas. But the percentages of the problem people are higher in education than in practice, as there is a minimum level of functioning needed to hold a job. Some of them in school for the degree can be pretty non functioning and still stay in school.
In other words - I’m summing up emotional intelligence, which a lot of highly educated people do not have.
Teacher Terry
7-4-19, 11:12am
There are incompetent people in every profession.
happystuff
7-4-19, 11:16am
There are incompetent people in every profession.
Totally agree.
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