A really nice guy

[Zoe Girl]

I have been hanging out with a really nice guy. I know him through Buddhist groups. He came to my group but has been caring for his aging mother so his schedule is wonky. We are attempting to read a book and study it, we haven't read a lot but have great conversations. He even quoted fight club! I came from retreat with a very open heart and sensitivity, he is the one who gets it. I saw a homeless family and couldn't drive past until another car honked. That is something he understood.

So now I am in the nervous phase, i am fine if it is friendship, and i dont have a good sense of these things. Overall I dont feel confident in much, including relationships, or myself. I dont want to talk to my close friend because everything is about sex to her, and I am feeling more soft and vulnerable

[razz]

There you go putting unnecessary pressure on yourself. Simply enjoy a like-minded friend. It is natural to love being around people as a human being; likeminded are a special joy.

ZG, you go to natural settings on hikes to relax and enjoy and savour being alive. That is what friendships are for me. Being alive means seeing others as valuable being and cherishing them and their wonderful qualities and, when appropriate, gently sharing your appreciation of those qualities. Just be you and let time unfold the future rather than being concerned what the future with this individual holds.
Feeling vulnerable means that you need to have boundaries that make you feel comfortable. What are they?

[Zoe Girl]

I am seeing vulnerable in a different way, like places that have been armored up are getting softer boundaries and that is a good thing. I think I am going to just enjoy and not talk much to the people who want definitions and classifications.