View Full Version : Challenges along my "no clothing purchases for a year" challenge
My nephew’s wedding was in September, and I planned to wear my go to wedding attire – a glittery jacket and tank top with black pants. When I tried on the jacket, it was a little snug and I didn’t relish the thought of being uncomfortable that evening. I wanted something loose and flowy. So I thought this was a good reason to make an exception.
I couldn’t find anything at the consignment stores, and had no luck at the malls either. I ended up wearing the outfit I had and was glad I did. Not only did I keep on track with the challenge, I forgot all about the snugness once I got to the wedding.
However, when I was at the mall, some items caught my attention. And I discovered many retailers are offering sales on current season items, like friends and family discounts of 25-40% off, limited time only. This creates a sense of urgency.
I fell hard for something and knew I would buy it and knew I would return it. Which I did. But it made me really think hard about why I wanted the item. And it had a lot to do with how I wanted others to perceive me and how I wanted to perceive myself.
Not only is this challenge saving me money, it’s also causing me to look inward and examine why I do what I do. An unexpected benefit and a welcome one.
Teacher Terry
10-6-19, 12:59pm
I wouldn’t go shopping at all because it’s tempting you.
Molly, thanks for sharing this. In October 2015, my son got married. I bought a dress I LOVED and I had actually dropped 20 lbs over 3 months to wear it, as it is a bit form-fitting, and had a belt (DH told me, "I don't know if I'd wear a belt if I were you" which set me on a mission go "earn" the right to wear the dress. At the end of the day, the dress fit, and I hear I looked pretty good. My DD told me that one of her friends said, "There was the bride, and then there was your mom."
Now, DD is getting married next year. I paid over $400 for that dress I wore to DS's wedding. Can I wear it again??? It worked once, why not one more time? Who's going to hang pictures on their wall of DS's and DD's wedding party and notice I'm wearing the same dress??
Any thoughts?
Now, DD is getting married next year. I paid over $400 for that dress I wore to DS's wedding. Can I wear it again??? Who's going to hang pictures on their wall of DS's and DD's wedding party and notice I'm wearing the same dress??
Any thoughts?
I would ABSOLUTELY wear it again! You paid a lot for it and looked great in it. It makes no sense economically and for the environment to buy another.
If you want to wear it again, go for it! And you're right - no one will probably notice or even care.
I wouldn’t go shopping at all because it’s tempting you.
I probably wouldn't have if it wasn't for the wedding. One thing that jolted me out of my "I want this new item" stupor were vacation photos a friend posted on Facebook of a place I want to visit. It got me back on track pronto!
I probably wouldn't have if it wasn't for the wedding. One thing that jolted me out of my "I want this new item" stupor were vacation photos a friend posted on Facebook of a place I want to visit. It got me back on track pronto!
YEA! The great tool here is that you recognized your desire to purchase, you made a conscious decision to purchase and then you got right back on the no-buy goal.
HUGE SUCCESS:cool:
Catherine can you wear it again but with different accessories you already have?
Teacher Terry
10-6-19, 5:17pm
I would definitely wear it again.
I would wear the dress again and buy new jewelry--I have been hankering for some Native American bracelets, old pawn. But that might not go with the dress at all!
YEA! The great tool here is that you recognized your desire to purchase, you made a conscious decision to purchase and then you got right back on the no-buy goal.
HUGE SUCCESS:cool:
+1
It is so hard to resist that pull to purchase!!
+1
It is so hard to resist that pull to purchase!!
You bet. I love fall clothing and am craving something new, but I have enough. More than enough.
Besides saving money, this challenge is forcing me to think really hard when I have a craving. What is it that I want and why?
I would wear the dress again and buy new jewelry--I have been hankering for some Native American bracelets, old pawn. But that might not go with the dress at all!
I'm not sure... For my DS's wedding, I wore a locket that had my DIL's mother's picture in it, who died of cancer in 2007. (See picture) I wanted to pay homage to her, feeling so bad that she couldn't be there for that important day. But she sent beautiful snowflakes in mid-fall, during the ceremony. They are not religious people, but I am, and I sent her a high five.
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Catherine, if you're the "blue lady" then you looked phenominal. However, that picture is just the reason I have to vote no for using the dress again. There will be pictures of the whole family - and there you'll be for all eternity in the same dress. It goes against all my frugal inclinations, but your daughter's wedding deserves a unique dress.
mschrisgo2
10-6-19, 7:48pm
Well, your daughter will probably be the only one to remember that dress. I wonder, can you ask her about wearing it again?
Okay, having now seen the wonderful photo, I vote you go all Burns night and match, wearing your family tartan sash and black velvet.
It is your daughter's special day, and whatever you choose to wear, I like the idea of something different than what was worn to a prior child's wedding.
However, that picture is just the reason I have to vote no for using the dress again. There will be pictures of the whole family - and there you'll be for all eternity in the same dress. It goes against all my frugal inclinations, but your daughter's wedding deserves a unique dress.
We're going to have to agree to disagree on this. What's wrong with wearing the same dress? I guess it's ultimately up to Catherine. If she loves the dress and wants to wear it again and it's ok with her daughter, I say go for it. It's gentler on her wallet and the planet. The fashion industry wants us keep buying so they create all these unsustainable rules.
Teacher Terry
10-6-19, 7:55pm
I wore the same dress to my son’s and stepson’s weddings. If the other 3 get married I will be wearing the same dress.
I would have a hard time deciding whether to wear a different dress but would choose a different one. I made that choice of a different one for my two daughters' weddings with no regrets. I think that I chose a simple dress each time so finances didn't really come into play. I used those outfits on other occasions as well afterwards.
I wore different dresses to my son's weddings and then wore them for other things, but they were nothing supper special, just nice dresses. Of course one wedding was in the summer and one the winter! It did not have anything to do with the fashion industry or rules, it just turned out that way.
My friend has three daughters who got married and all the weddings were so different, in different places and times of year, so she had three different outfits, and she enjoyed picking them out with the girls. I think it is a wonderful chance to get something special, not any kind of obligation, but I think it was nice for each of her daughters to have her selecting her dress with their wedding in mind.
To me it's a wonderful family celebration; they don't come along very often, and should be celebrated with whatever brings you joy.
rosarugosa
10-6-19, 8:22pm
I would definitely ask DD what she thinks. She very likely won't have a strong opinion, but I could be wrong. If it still fits, you like yourself in it and don't really care that there will be photographic evidence that you wore the same dress twice, then I say go for it! It's a lovely dress.
Chicken lady
10-7-19, 7:33am
I brought all three of my children home from the hospital in the same outfit. My mother wore the same dress to my wedding and my brother’s. I wore different dresses to dd’s wedding and dil’s wedding (ds was all about the wife, he requested that his best friend’s mom get to read a poem. That was it.) the dress I wore to dd’s Wedding I wear all the time. The other was bought just for the wedding, cost more than I would have liked and is gone now because it was a color I don’t look particularly good in and never wear. She picked the color, which was why I had to buy a dress. But honestly, I had a fantastic time at the wedding, I am all smiles in the photos, and when I look at them, my first thought is “why did you people let me wear those tights with those shoes?” I mean, I specifically asked and they said it was fine, and it was not fine.
Sad Eyed Lady
10-7-19, 10:16am
Wear the dress. Maybe you could add a scarf, or shawl to make it look a bit different if you want. But a good dress is a good dress. Don't waste it.
What if you do some simple alterations to make it look like a slightly different dress? You could also dye it, my niece dyed her prom dress and it looked beautiful, though I might be nervous doing it with such an expensive item. Maybe your DD could even help with the design of the dress!
https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSpR9pi4nnMn6-S4RdpW_2sHFla8gnlnr5FF6Jxaj-Qndt3YBtY
Teacher Terry
10-7-19, 10:52pm
I have no clue what I wore when I brought my kids home from the hospital. I am surprised anyone would know.
Chicken lady
10-8-19, 5:13am
What THEY wore. I put them all in the same little unisex outfit. My thought in sharing was that wearing the same dress was like that - clothing for a certain type of special occasion - like a tradition.
I say ask your daughter what would make her happiest. Then do that!
Teacher Terry
10-8-19, 11:35am
CL, now that makes total sense:))
iris lilies
10-8-19, 12:04pm
It is times like this that I know I am somewhere on the autism spectrum because I cannot relate to all of these special occasion clothing dilemmas.Or the ritual of bringing baby home from the hospital. On the MMM site there was a discussion about the super dooper extraordinarily special experience of bringing a new baby home. The father of the baby said he had to work and the grandmother drove the car to pick up mom and baby. That seemed eminently reasonable to me. But I was so far in the minority of opinion!!! Really strange.
That reminds me of the discussion here on this board a couple years ago when catherine had a dilemma—should she visit her newly born grandson in a hospital or see her son’s concert. To me that was a no brainer – go to son’s concert, it’s the only time he’ll be performing like that. The baby she can see for a “first” experience any time. I was resoundingly in the minority then, too.
Didn’t mean to turn this thread into a referendum on me but hey there’s clearly something wrong with me! Ha ha. I understand the importance of a new human in the family. I get that it’s a very big deall!!! But all these “firsts” experiences seem like silly empty rituals to me. I do i fact hate ritual, so that is a basis here.
Teacher Terry
10-8-19, 12:56pm
If the father of the baby is at a new job or wouldn’t be paid if he wasn’t at work I think it’s reasonable for the grandma to drive them home. I am not into rituals as much as some people. I brought my babies home in a comfy sleeper. Definitely not the same one.
IL, I don't get it either. I have one, maybe two, semi fancy outfits that are brought out for any occasion needing them. But I am not trying to "fit in" to a controlled group of people all following the latest trends and trying to outdo each other. When did the people or the special occasion become less important than what is worn? Always reminds me of the Bridezilla stories.
Didn’t mean to turn this thread into a referendum on me but hey there’s clearly something wrong with me! Ha ha. I understand the importance of a new human in the family. I get that it’s a very big deall!!! But all these “firsts” experiences seem like silly empty rituals to me. I do i fact hate ritual, so that is a basis here.
I don't necessarily hate rituals but perhaps I do. I agree, go to the son's concert. That newborn won't know he/she was 3d old instead of 1d old when you first viewed. Hubby and I neither one, can remember our "wedding dance song". I can describe my dress-I took it to Goodwill so someone else could use it. I do not have it in a "air sucked out" box. Neither of us wear wedding rings. We don't do something fancy on our anniversary every year-drives my sister nuts. We take a trip to somewhere in the US we want to see on our "every 5th" anniversaries. It's one of our vacations those years. Oh, and I don't wear black to funerals!
iris lilies
10-8-19, 1:41pm
I related recently here how non-memorable are Life Passage Events to me and even DH.
We were recently in Iowa in the county where we got married. He said “oh hey we got married at Ames City Hall.” I said “no, we got married in a different town at the county courthouse”. He said “Charlie our best man still lives in Ames.” I said “no Charlie was not our best man that was your friend…I can’t even remember his name.”
Then we went to Des Moines and drove by a cemetery. I asked “is that where my mom is buried? “ DH said “gee, I don’t know— maybe.”
My brother’s wife is in charge of all of this family lore stuff because she lives and breathes it.I just don’t care.
ApatheticNoMore
10-8-19, 3:24pm
It is times like this that I know I am somewhere on the autism spectrum because I cannot relate to all of these special occasion clothing dilemmas.
yea I'm like if the dress fits and looks nice, wear it. If not, get a new dress. How is this complicated? :~)
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