View Full Version : Forced gaiety aka you WILL participate in the party!
Work has been OK lately, but now the manager and supervisor (both women) have a bug up their butt that EVERYONE will wear full costume on Thursday for Halloween. Big party. I was told to come in my wetsuit, bring all diving gear.
I am flat out refusing. They have never worn a wetsuit and even my thin one would be too hot for the office. Plus very uncomfortable for the day, even with the top ball around my waist. It would be very uncomfortable and that means I am not productive at all. It’s the last day of the month and they always push us to get everything possible done and billed.
I actually said I was not going to participate in “forced gaiety.” I’m actually being told I’m not a team player. What a bunch of BS.
iris lilies
10-25-19, 1:16pm
Male managers don’t do that shit.All of the birthday parties etc. at my workplaces over the years were female instigated.
But you could —and probably should —comply partially and dress in black pants and black turtleneck. Bring fins to waddle around in for five minutes along with a mask. It is the team spirit not the actuality that they want to see, rah rah.
Male managers don’t do that shit.All of the birthday parties etc. at my workplaces over the years were female instigated.
But you could —and probably should —comply partially and dress in black pants and black turtleneck. Bring fins to waddle around in for five minutes along with a mask. It is the team spirit not the actuality that they want to see, rah rah.
No black jeans but I do have black leggings. That would work. I don’t mind the goodies. Or the kids coming in at the end of the day in costume, but yeah, the women are crazy about this crap.
That kind of thing (office politics) was why I always volunteered to work off-shift. But I worked in an overwhelmingly male environment, so we didn't have much "team building" nonsense.
Just tell them it would make you uncomfortable. Apparently making someone uncomfortable is now illegal.
I actually said I was not going to participate in “forced gaiety.” I’m actually being told I’m not a team player. What a bunch of BS.
Tell them they are mocking an important religious holiday of yours, and you don't appreciate it....
sweetana3
10-25-19, 3:46pm
I have a black Tshirt that says This is My Halloween Costume. We wear it each year in October.
I like the idea of black top and either a turtleneck shirt or tshirt and call yourself Steve Jobs or Elizabeth Holmes. Make a name tag.
catherine
10-25-19, 4:23pm
Male managers don’t do that shit.All of the birthday parties etc. at my workplaces over the years were female instigated.
But you could —and probably should —comply partially and dress in black pants and black turtleneck. Bring fins to waddle around in for five minutes along with a mask. It is the team spirit not the actuality that they want to see, rah rah.
I definitely vote for black pants and black turtleneck and a mask/goggles.
We had a Halloween party at work once. It was a pain, as much as I enjoy Halloween. I went as a tacky Joisey Girl. My inspiration was Melanie Griffith in Working Girl. I teased up my hair, wore a lot of makeup, wore a fake fur leopard coat. I've been in places where some bonding activities have been a lot of fun, and others where it was definitely "forced gaiety."
My wife's special needs class of 1st through 5th graders had a halloween party yesterday. Teachers and aides dressed as characters from Toy Story, my wife was Mrs Potato Head and gaiety did ensue.
https://scontent-ort2-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/74667863_10216397684480812_8195100761034588160_n.j pg?_nc_cat=110&_nc_oc=AQnkpW8pp2cl4ELu5g6hpfqlx3zQAM1pBi7Tt2YcjQW Gsy13cmMnsNT3P6i3q9tMHu4&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-2.xx&oh=dc395a7f1286576185eaad86ce980739&oe=5E203434
https://scontent-ort2-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/75513339_10216397686040851_6492014531588390912_n.j pg?_nc_cat=111&_nc_oc=AQl7r7h0xdH_3axQD-UpOGF8jg2fLIZ2ZRxvGauF1qQaqjq8mKr2TJfFBQD8qI2dW8s&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-2.xx&oh=e07a8a751cfede60c06404f14443b543&oe=5E628B51
At my previous job it was the male CEO who forced gaiety both at Halloween and Christmas. Throughout the year he would also walk around and ask, "Is this the happiest place on earth?" The only acceptable reply was an enthusiastic yes. It was like North Korea or a cult.
Sometimes, we can choose to make it fun as the photos above from Alan show. I like the attitude of dressing in black leotards, top and goggles when you come in and show off your svelte self with all that fun you have been having with diving. Then get to work.
rosarugosa
10-25-19, 5:24pm
I love Mrs. Alan's costume!
catherine
10-25-19, 5:25pm
My wife's special needs class of 1st through 5th graders had a halloween party yesterday. Teachers and aides dressed as characters from Toy Story, my wife was Mrs Potato Head and gaiety did ensue.
Getting into the Halloween spirit if you're a teacher is a whole other thing! I could have used some teachers who taught fun. I had nuns, and fun nuns were in short supply (with the exception of Sister Rose Irma, who was amazing). Your wife looks great! Such a cute idea!
iris lilies
10-25-19, 7:01pm
Great mrs potatoe head.
We saw the latest toy story film and it was great. They do such a nice job with us toy story movies.
early morning
10-26-19, 12:21pm
Yeah, love the potato head! We're having enforced gaiety next week too. I'm either going as a serial killer or a conspiracy theorist. Depends on whether I remember to take my box of aluminum foil or not. :devil:
I'm either going as a serial killer
I went as a cereal killer way back when- I taped an empty cheerios box to my front, and carried a camping axe. No one got it on their own.
early morning
10-27-19, 12:32am
DH did a variation on that several years ago. We put a cereal box on a string so he could wear it around his neck, and had stabbed the box with a knife (taped it inside the box so it didn't fall out). I love bad pun costumes- one year my cousin hung fuzzy dice (like for a car mirror) around her neck and wore a grass skirt. She was a tropical paradise. My serial killer is more banal - she looks like everyone else, negating the need to "dress up".
happystuff
10-27-19, 8:22am
I went as a cereal killer way back when- I taped an empty cheerios box to my front, and carried a camping axe. No one got it on their own.
That is so clever!!!
Tradd....... can you start to get sick Wednesday? Being forced into something like that does not seem right. I would find it hard to be in that situation too. I hope you can figure out what to do. Good luck!
ToomuchStuff
10-27-19, 10:00am
Don't do anything, dress normal. When you get there explode, and tell them the costume is going postal.
I have heard many places are discontinuing costume days for fear of offending against the various standards of sexual or political decency being imposed by the many professional and amateur takers-of-offense out there.
I have heard many places are discontinuing costume days for fear of offending against the various standards of sexual or political decency being imposed by the many professional and amateur takers-of-offense out there.
That's smart. Who knows what the social justice police will come after you for next year?
iris lilies
10-27-19, 5:15pm
Oh I think you are always safe to make fun of rich white man like Steve Jobs, Jeff Bezos, Warren Buffett. It’s just that they are not easy to caricature-ize so they make boring Halloween costumes
catherine
10-27-19, 5:18pm
I have heard many places are discontinuing costume days for fear of offending against the various standards of sexual or political decency being imposed by the many professional and amateur takers-of-offense out there.
They have suspended Halloween parties in the schools in my former NJ school district, but that's because the majority (or at least a significant minority) don't celebrate Halloween, being largely from Asia.
I did see a cute costume on Facebook.. one of my son's couple-friends went dressed as Lois Lane and Superman, but he did the Superman in a really cute way. He dressed as Clark and Superman, with a Superman T-shirt underneath a half buttoned white shirt and tie half undone as if he were running to the phone booth. I thought it was really clever.
Saw a sign today that made me think of this thread.
Suggestion: Dress up in a tshirt with a cat in it somewhere. Add any image of an instrument, any shape or size and what do you have - a mewsician!!!
Float On
10-29-19, 12:24pm
Mrs Potato Head is so cute! I love fun costumes. Last time I dressed up was '90. I was bank branch manager and there was a competition between the branches. We took 1st place with our Wizard of Oz. I was Lion. We each won $100 plus we got dinner out. $100 was probably what I spent on yarn for my costume!
Mrs Potato Head is so cute! I love fun costumes. Last time I dressed up was '90. I was bank branch manager and there was a competition between the branches. We took 1st place with our Wizard of Oz. I was Lion. We each won $100 plus we got dinner out. $100 was probably what I spent on yarn for my costume!
Last year her group did the Wizard of Oz as well, my wife enjoyed that because she didn't have to dress up.
https://scontent-ort2-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/22851708_10211128962406053_1048810783405098938_n.j pg?_nc_cat=110&_nc_oc=AQnBNpk6wOqa517B_BPPIv_vuOx0TbFJuUuf84HAw_4 UZFFw1h5_g6w2v3xOvHMnTxwHPcKRl3UCobFqEHceuAnF&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-2.xx&oh=cd952cf75ee18d206c7f47bbe9b36d80&oe=5E5C2294
I don’t mind if the others want to dress up, it’s the forced part. I’ve been joking I’m going as “stubborn b***h” in my regular work clothes.
The manager would probably best described as “culturally ignorant.” It’s a point of pride with her that she doesn’t read and doesn’t keep up with the news. Her MO is basically if she’s nice to everyone and wants to have fun, no one will be offended. She doesn’t get it. The one young gal in my department was essentially bullied by manager into dressing up even though gal doesn’t like anything about Halloween. She hates the scary stuff, etc. She got a costume of something non-scary.
Manager was strong arming people in other departments to dress up. We have one gal who is a very conservative Catholic from SE Asia. She’s put her foot down and is not going to dress up. Wouldn’t surprise me if she goes to HR.
I am surprised by this level of obtuseness. We used to live near Willow Creek and many fundamentalists do not like or do Halloween. How can they push people to dress up? That is awful.
Love Mrs. Alan's costumes!
I went as a cereal killer way back when- I taped an empty cheerios box to my front, and carried a camping axe. No one got it on their own.
I had coworker who did this. I found it hilarious. Her version of the costume was small cereal boxes taped on her with plastic knives sticking out.
Btw, it was at the last workplace where forced gaiety was the norm, courtesy of a cabal of female coworkers who had nothing to do but plan these things ALL THE TIME. I wondered if they ever had time for their jobs.
At my current workplace, people can wear costumes for Halloween but it's not that big of a deal. Holidays are celebrated but it's not over the top.
Are you saying this is her daily attire? >8)
She--and it--are very fetching, at any rate.
Are you saying this is her daily attire? >8)
I was hoping no one would notice that. :|(
Well, the woman from SE Asia went to HR. That’s all I know. She told me her issue was the bullying and strong arming to come in costume, not the celebration itself.
She and I were the only ones who didn’t come in costume. I’m comfortable and able to work. Everyone else has been doing very little work today. And given this is the end of the month and we have to bill everything possible to meet budget, I’m sort of amused.
Manager did make several snarky comments to me about not dressing up and that I get the choice of only one of the main things to eat. They’re not eating until nearly 3 pm. I brought my own lunch and I’m taking my regular lunch hour. They’re out in the warehouse doing the costume parade so everyone can vote. I’m not participating in that at all. Probably won’t eat any of the company provided food at all.
No clue how much they spent.
Teacher Terry
10-31-19, 1:34pm
Your manager is very immature. Telling you what you are allowed to eat. Hope HR puts a stop to this type of behavior.
Wow.
Sounds like middle school.
Wow.
Sounds like middle school.
Yep. Sure does. Now people are bringing their dressed up kids in. Manager’s sisters in law brought in a bunch of kids. What a zoo!
iris lilies
10-31-19, 5:50pm
Yep. Sure does. Now people are bringing their dressed up kids in. Manager’s sisters in law brought in a bunch of kids. What a zoo!
Oh who needs that at work.As if no one has any opportunity see children dressed up on Halloween.
Teacher Terry
10-31-19, 6:13pm
Tradd, too bad you didn’t have a dog to dress up and parade around:))
Tradd, too bad you didn’t have a dog to dress up and parade around:))
I think I was the most productive person in the office today. Everyone else was scurrying around at the party.
Teacher Terry
10-31-19, 9:13pm
Once every 3 months my 2 Maltese would get groomed near work and get done about 3 on a Friday. It was a paperwork day and I would have them in my office with the door shut disturbing no one. A worker would bring in her 3 grandsons running around and be annoying. She complained about my dogs saying we weren’t a kennel. I said no more kids since we aren’t a daycare.
This thread has reminded me how much I've loved working from home for the past four months since starting my new job. (and hopefully for many years to come). I went to the grocery store across the street at around 4:00 on Halloween to get stuff to make for dinner. The guy in front of me in line was dressed as little bo peep, with a full beard. This being san francisco I didn't really think anything of it. It wasn't until I got on facebook a couple hours later that I even realized it was Halloween.
This thread has reminded me how much I've loved working from home
Working from home does have its advantages. When we were back in NJ last winter and DH had to go to a hospital 20 miles away for a test that was scheduled around rush hour, we came away from it with gratitude that we live on an island with one blinking traffic light and that's it. And grateful that we don't even have to travel on that one lonely road to get to work! And now that I'm dog-less, my morning routine is, wake up, grab my robe, grab my coffee and turn the corner from my bedroom to my office and start working.
I used to enjoy Halloween when the kids were little, but now I have no interest. I got text messages of the grandkids in their costumes, and that was enough.
Teacher Terry
11-2-19, 3:10pm
I loved Halloween and dressing up 6 dogs and myself when we had lots of kids. Since moving I stopped because we don’t get any kids.
Back when we lived in Jersey City we lived in a 2 family house with another couple upstairs who had an adult child. Our block had families with lots of kids. Both halloweens that we lived there the weather was great so we spent the evening outside hanging out in our driveway drinking a few bottles of wine with the upstairs neighbors and learning all the neighborhood gossip. (upstairs neighbor worked from home and knew everything that was going on) We'd give the kids candy and offer the adults wine. Both nights were super fun and definitely one of the highlights of the time we lived there.
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