Helping with Church Fund Raising Can be Hurtful

[Rachel]

Hello Friends,
I've been helping with my church's Capital Fund Campaign. We need to have this campaign in order to pay for building repairs. We've consulted with our diocese's fund raising professionals to follow best practices, with a lot of parish education and conversations about the church's financial needs, and with plenty of parish input and feedback on priorities.

I think the campaign is being thoughtfully and well run, and although it is not easy for me to ask people for money, I volunteered to be trained to be one of the actual fund raisers. We've been advised to reach out to every member of the church and meet in person to have conversations and make asking for money part of a conversation.

This I have done and in a few instances it has been a wonderful experience.

In other instances I have been greeted with outright rudeness and what feels almost like cruelty. In every one of the most painful experiences, it *hasn't* been people with limited incomes, but people who are fully employed professionals who appear to be actually angry about being asked for a financial commitment---I'm talking about regular attenders.

I find this so upsetting and disspiriting and I -- I hope I can say this here -- I am angry about being treated badly for doing something, or trying to do something that the parish as a whole has discerned as necessary and useful.

I wonder if other folks in this forum have had similar experience and words of insight. Thanks for any thoughts anyone might have to share.

[iris lilies]

My blessings to you. Asking for money is a hard job. Probably the only thing worse is political campaigning door to door or cold calling for candidates.

It is weird—we assume those who attend church have some kind of buy in to the program, and have some level of attachment to the building project. But nope! You are probably getting responses about why people are mad at the church, too, as well as them being insulted to be asked for a donation.

Our Neighborhood is in a pre-tax campaign phase right now, soliciting input from everyone about how to keep income in place as our house tour volunteers drop off and we have to drop a house tour. I personally hope to be off the Board before this tax campaign gears up because I don’t want to have to be an ambassador for a tax increase even though I personally support it. I am a chicken. I want peace in my old age.

You are brave! Carry on, sister.

[iris lilies]

Rachel, let me also add that I love the old Catholic Church buildings in my city and also in Hermann where the church spire defines my wonderful view. I have often thought about donating to their building funds but have not done it.

In your fund raising efforts, Are you fighting the idea that “the Catholic Church has more money than God so why should I give any? “.

[Teacher Terry]

Don’t most people tithe and if so they probably expect that money to go towards the building repairs?

[Gardnr]

I'm sorry this is your experience Rachel. I will share 'the other side'. As a working professional for nearly 4 decades, we have given regularly to a variety of charitable organizations as well as church. When one gives their entire charitable budget regularly, it can get old asking for more. Most "askers" are kind and say thank you anyway. I had one experience however that still stands out: "but we need your money NOW and you didn't plan for us! That's not FAIR!". Well, that is not a thankful or inviting response. And sadly, why is that the request I remember?

I'm not saying your are at all like that response-as I seriously don't get that vibe from you here.

Perhaps your tagline could be along this line: "I'm sure you have designated your budgeted giving for the year. Could you consider an additional $5 or $10 a month for our building repair fund moving forward?" That could work for me. It is respectful and doesn't insinuate I'm made of money.

Best of luck moving forward.

[iris lilies]

Don’t most people tithe and if so they probably expect that money to go towards the building repairs?

building campaigns are usually for out of the ordinary construction projects such as rebuilding the steeple, restoring all stained glass windows, renovating the sanctuary from top to bottom, etc. Regular maintenance monies dont cover those capital intensive projects.

The one thing I love the Catholics for is their buildings in my immediate area. We are rich with Victorian churches and while it is true that the Catholic Church organization has let several of them go, they are maintaining quite a few of them still. Within a square mile of me I have an original Polish church, a Czech church, a German church, another German church, a junior Basilica (sorry cant think of the real name) a Pre-vatican II church.

[Yppej]

Do they give any reason for not giving? Donations to the Catholic church in my area plummeted after clergy sex abuse scandals became public knowledge.

[razz]

I am another that makes a donation budget and simply respond, "Sorry but my budget is committed" if asked for more money.

After donating to my church, the local Salvation Army Community effort, the local hospital foundation. little theatre and large professional theatres, humane society, and Seeds of Diversity (similar to Seeds Savers), I have supported every group that I value and am 'gived out'.
That said, I would not be rude about my refusal.

[Tybee]

It is a super hard time of the year to get folks to come up with any more money.

With church restoration projects, I like to give for something specific, such as organ pipes or stained glass window restoration. Something I can see put to use.

Maybe your church would have more success if the requests were specifically tied to something tangible like that. (Or an HVAC update--it doesn't have to be aestheticly pleasing. But specific.)

[Gardnr]

Another thought: my sister's church does a special need giving at the Christmas Eve service. It is always a 100% specific fund. It could be an improvement like they year they built out the kitchen that was still at the stud stage. One year it was an orphanage they adopted. One year it was the music program.

This makes it a one time, rather than ongoing monthly. People gave bigger than they might have monthly. When we attend that service we give big (for us).

[razz]

After I posted, I started thinking and wondered if there was a way to ease your discomfort from inconsiderate refusals. It does take courage to ask for money so I admire your willingness and effort.
Perhaps, it is possible to see the rude refusals of donation as evidence of inexperience or lack of skills on their part? It takes some experience and some training for them to respond graciously to a request, especially for more money. Easier said than done, I know.

You are doing an important job in soliciting funds and gaining valuable experience in doing so.

[SteveinMN]

I have been on the funding sides of capital campaigns but never in a position directly responsible for asking people to provide money. This last summer I was the spearhead for an effort that changed the affiliation of a non-profit to which DW and I belong. Most members of the non-profit understood the need to make the move but the "old guard" took out their knives and it has not been pretty. We moved anyway and without them.

Some thoughts:

- Barring some real social hamfistedness with your approach (unlikely to me based on what you post here), know that anyone with your specific responsibility would have received the same treatment from these people. It is not personal.

- Even though the parish may have agreed in majority to run this campaign, the decision likely was not unanimous. Rachel, you may have been "lucky" to have found the members who were not in favor of this approach and they are venting to someone they feel they can vent to. By contacting them, you have plopped yourself right in their path. Plus they may feel they can speak their mind in a way they would not to the head priest or other church leaders. It is perfectly alright to feel angry about how you've been treated. Regardless of what your church may teach about being angry, it is a human emotion and you cannot dismiss how you feel. You can only control how you react.

- My general experience (albeit anecdotal) is that the more money people make/have, the less they are willing to commit it to other causes. As others have mentioned, there may be some underlying unhappiness with the politics of the group. Or it could even be something as "simple" as their not feeling their opinions were heard or their expertise consulted. Or a worldview that believes solely in one's own bootstraps.

- Perhaps it helps to take a longer view. Curiously, since our old guard brought the fight to a group decision, they've been struck with a sudden string of problems, including the deaths of siblings, broken bones, etc. Not that I wished that on these people (nor would I wish it on anyone). But sometimes karma's a b---h. While that likely cannot be a selling point to those who choose not to donate, the opposite of that can: contributing to this effort can have unknown positive consequences down the road. And such giving probably is part of whatever text your church uses to worship.

- At a church my first wife and I attended, they held a capital campaign to enlarge the music ministry. One of their efforts was to install a pipe organ. Pipes were priced at different levels so members of the church could "buy" a pipe. Not like we saw our names engraved on one. But having something more tangible to look at made the giving seem more real. Is that something you could do with this campaign?

[sweetana3]

I really like Tybee's idea. When I recd an inheritance, our local spay/neuter clinic was undergoing a large capital campaign. I knew they needed an Xray machine so we pledged an amount to buy a state of the art digital Xray machine. It has my Dad's name on it as donor. You need to reach the emotion of people. It was "easier" to give to something specific rather than a general fund.

[pinkytoe]

It is well known in philanthropic research that those with more give less.

[Tammy]

Same goes for tipping.

[Tradd]

Rachel doesn’t specifically say she’s Catholic. The wording she used in her post could also apply for Episcopalians

[iris lilies]

Rachel doesn’t specifically say she’s Catholic. The wording she used in her post could also apply for Episcopalians
That is true, and I did think about her church being maybe-not Catholic.

If she is dealing with Episcopalians, rich WASPS, no wonder she is seeing low donations and rude push back! Ha ha ha ha.

[Tradd]

For the same reason, the large Greek Orthodox parishes near me have lots of stuff with the donors’ names showing. Pews, prayer books, sign outside the kitchen indicating the donor of the kitchen. All sorts of stuff like that.

[Tenngal]

I have worked in church finances for several years.

One thing to consider is that many people feel more comfortable giving for a specific need.

As in, "we are building a fund in preparation for replacing the church roof."

And it is even better if they are given the cost estimates on these projects along with a report on how fund raising is progressing.

Flyers with progress noted in the weekly bulletins, Finance chair giving a report monthly from the pulpit.

We paid the mortgage on the parsonage off with these methods.

Good luck, and you are correct that some of the people with the most money give the least...………….

[beckyliz]

Don’t most people tithe and if so they probably expect that money to go towards the building repairs? As a past church financial secretary and a current church treasurer, I can tell you most people do NOT tithe (10% of their income to their church). Yet, those are the ones who expect the church building to be available for a funeral or wedding; don't understand why programs are funded, etc.

[Sad Eyed Lady]

As a past church financial secretary and a current church treasurer, I can tell you most people do NOT tithe (10% of their income to their church). Yet, those are the ones who expect the church building to be available for a funeral or wedding; don't understand why programs are funded, etc.

beckyliz, I can identify with you. Me, church treasurer (and I guess financial secretary?), for something like 16 years! I keep trying to give it up and there is NO ONE who wants to take it over. Just an aside here with no intention of changing the direction of this thread.

[kib]

Watching my 90 year old mother, who is quite wealthy but buy no means rolling in income, deal with an endless parade of solicitors, might give me a little insight into your rude responders.

Some people are already giving til they're dry. It's offensive to be targeted as, perhaps, a sure thing or a patsy because you've already made a generous donation. I'm not saying your people are feeling this way about you in particular, but if they've already received 200 manipulative requests from the cancer society or planned parenthood after having given what they have to give, sometimes requests that seem like all the money they already gave is being used to market them, they may not be in a frame of mind to be open to any more giving.