Why am I the only one?

[klunick]

Why am I the only one...
Who notices that the trash can is overflowing
Who notices there are dishes in the sink when the dishwasher is empty
Who notices crumbs on the counter
Who notices bits of stuff on the floor
Who notices water all around the sink

Why? Why? Why?:doh:

[happystuff]

If it is any consolation, you are not the only one.

I wonder why someone is being helpful and does the dinner dishes, but leaves dirty pans and utensils on the stove.
How someone can live in the same house for 30 years and NOT know where the strainer goes?
Why someone goes through leftovers in the fridge searching for work lunch, opens a container that DEFINITELY has gone bad, puts the lid back on and puts it back in the fridge!?!

I have come to the conclusion that these are some of the great mysteries of the universe. >8)

[Simplemind]

At our house I'm betting it is my husband who asks that question. In my defense, I also have a list. We have favorite chores and between us almost everything gets done by one or the other. The kitchen is his domain and I gladly leave him to it. He could care less about the fine details of yard work like never walking past a weed or deadheading the flowers and remembering to water. I still can't figure out why he puts his dirt clothes near the hamper but not inside and insists that it is his "staging area" but has no explanation as to why it is necessary to stage. We are each blind to the areas that aren't important to us.

[klunick]

Last night I got on my youngest about leaving a dirty spatula and cake crumbs on the counter. Woke up this morning to find that my husband had left a dirty spatula and cake crumbs on the counter a few hours later after youngest had cleaned his mess up. :devil:

[Teacher Terry]

I have been married 3x’s and only my second husband was neat. I asked my husband to turn the stove on to preheat the oven and he didn’t know how. We have only had the stove 10 years. Ugh!

[kib]

Yep. Entitlement, basically. If you don't know how to properly do a job that's a normal part of your adult life and you're past dormitory living by more than a year and not paying a maid, check your privilege: counters do not wipe themselves, filthy pots and pans are not the purview of house elves. As I write this, the garbage is being taken out to the alley with a flourish - but I happen to know the catbox has yet to be scooped and the bathroom pail is still full. >8)

Eta: of course lawnmower carburetors don't clean themselves, and stuffed gutters are not the purview of house elves either, I do occasionally have to turn the tables back on myself here.

[lhamo]

https://mustbethistalltoride.com/an-open-letter-to-shitty-husbands/

[Teacher Terry]

Since we lived together for almost 6 years before marrying I cannot complain. He has good qualities and we have fun. But there are just 2 of us. It would be different if we had raised kids together.

[Gardnr]

I have no idea how long you've been married. I've been nearly 40 years. I will say what I always say: relationships are negotiated. I talked to hubby about stuff like this right out of the honeymoon. It takes 2 to make a happy home-not 1. He picks up as often as I do.

I don't think it's ever too late. Sit down with him and talk about it and how it makes you feel. You are partners in this thing called life.

[ToomuchStuff]

Why am I the only one...
Who notices that the trash can is overflowing
Who notices there are dishes in the sink when the dishwasher is empty
Who notices crumbs on the counter
Who notices bits of stuff on the floor
Who notices water all around the sink

Why? Why? Why?:doh:

Well, you want to act like their mom, and they expect you to, then what would they do if you start wiping their faces, or show up with adult diapers? Would they get the clean up after themselves hint?

[SiouzQ.]

This is my boyfriend exactly. I have come to believe he truly just does not see or it just does not register that there are crumbs all over the counter and egg drips all over the stove after he makes breakfast. He is much more of a slob than I am, and I knew that when we decided to buy a house together. I am "training" him and he is trying. Just getting him to remember to recycle is a battle being won slowly, but surely. I still have to pick through the recycle bins to throw away plastic that can't be recycled - I do have him checking for the recycle symbol on the back and it is working about 50% of the time, but that is major progress compared to when he lived alone (he never recycled anything)!

My other pet peeve is the crud that is left in the sink drainer thingy - I am of the practice that when one cleans up the kitchen after a meal, that includes getting the little food bits out that cling to the strainer at the bottom of the sink; if you don't, they just dry up and clog the filter and then the water stops draining!

My theory is that in his work life he has to concentrate very hard on detailed lines of computer code, so when he comes home, his brain is just too tired to register the kind of details like crumbs and spills. And in his defense he does a lot around the house that I cannot do at this point because of my bad wrists - he chops the wood, fills up the cistern, changes the propane tank, etc. It all evens out in the end anyway; I keep the kitchen and bathroom clean, and do most of the vacuuming. We trade on doing the dishes - if one cooks, the other does the clean up. There have only been a few times that I feel a little aggravated about something and I will tell him and he does try to change, but it is sometimes like pulling teeth to get someone to change a long-standing habit. All in all, he is such a keeper in all other respects and we are still having fun making a home together after these first five months!

[Teacher Terry]

My husband was raised by a wonderful woman but her house was dirty and disgusting. He doesn’t see messes and they don’t bother him. If he was alone I am sure he would live the same way.

[iris lilies]

There are elves around here that change automobile oil, take care of vehicle licensing, pay taxes, pay all bills, change furnace filters, etc etc, things I have never done in 30+ years.

[Teacher Terry]

My husband does all the car and home maintenance. Plus he has remodeled the homes we have lived in. He can do things that I cannot.

[kib]

https://mustbethistalltoride.com/an-open-letter-to-shitty-husbands/Oh I just discovered him a few months ago! The BEST, hearing a straight up condemnation of s***y husbands - from a s***y ex husband. :+1:

[happystuff]

My other pet peeve is the crud that is left in the sink drainer thingy - I am of the practice that when one cleans up the kitchen after a meal, that includes getting the little food bits out that cling to the strainer at the bottom of the sink; if you don't, they just dry up and clog the filter and then the water stops draining!


YES! And we have had this discussion to no avail! He told me he hates it when I leave my teabag in the cup on the counter. I no longer do that. I told him I hate it when he washes a dish/dishes and doesn't clean the drain strainer. He doesn't do it. Doesn't clean the shower drain strainer either.

[SteveinMN]

There are elves around here that change automobile oil, take care of vehicle licensing, pay taxes, pay all bills, change furnace filters, etc etc, things I have never done in 30+ years.
When DW retires, I will be retiring as househusband. We'll split the housework, but I dare say DW is completely unaware of how much is done in this house today without any intervention or thought on her part. It'll make retired life interesting...

[kib]

When DW retires, I will be retiring as househusband. We'll split the housework, but I dare say DW is completely unaware of how much is done in this house today without any intervention or thought on her part. It'll make retired life interesting...This is actually true, and I know I don't realize that he really sometimes Doesn't Know. I got a retroactive thank you the other day. DH remarked that the floor was filthy - and furry - what the heck had happened to our cats? What happened was that I was in Bisbee and no house elves swept or mopped or vacuumed for a week.

[jp1]

In our household SO just doesn't prioritize the same things I do. For him a dirty counter, or yesterday's pants sitting on the living room chair are just a normal part of life. And visiting his mom's house I understand how this is the case... But I put up with it because I didn't pick him for his housekeeping skills, I picked him because he's mostly a joy to spend time with.

[NewGig]

We started out as roommates, not involved otherwise. So we split the chores and the money. These days he makes most of the money, I do most of the cooking and the cleaning gets done, more often by me, but not entirely.

[ApatheticNoMore]

But I put up with it because I didn't pick him for his housekeeping skills, I picked him because he's mostly a joy to spend time with.

yea honestly I think living with my partner would be rocky (I don't) in large part because things would be messy. It that is meant to be at some point then I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. But I didn't pick him for the financial advantage of splitting rent either (somewhat less than it appears anyway, as I would insist I need to at least have a room of my own).

Would have to be a new place anyway, where I am is too far from his work, and he does nothing but complain about how much he hates living in his apartment whenever he mentions it, meanwhile it's not perfect but I actually *like* my apartment, so living somewhere that seems to be gripe-ville and hated (it's noisy, it's super hot in summer and no A/C, the landlord doesn't fix things promptly or sometimes much at all, it's hard to find parking etc.) is really not so appealing.

[JaneV2.0]

I would like living close to a partner, but I need my own place. A duplex would be fine. :~)

[rosarugosa]

I saw this on FB today and it made me think of this thread:
3108

[Teacher Terry]

Rosa, and my husband:))