View Full Version : Myths of memory and aging
A neuroscientist has researched and written a book on the myths about aging and memory and how to keep healthy.
https://www.macleans.ca/society/health/the-myth-of-memory-decline-and-how-to-rejuvenate-your-brain/
1. Don’t retire. Don’t stop being engaged with meaningful work.
2. Look forward. Don’t look back. (Reminiscing doesn’t promote health.)
3. Exercise. Get your heart rate going. Preferably in nature.
4. Embrace a moderated lifestyle with healthy practices.
5. Keep your social circle exciting and new.
6. Spend time with people younger than you.
7. See your doctor regularly, but not obsessively.
8. Don’t think of yourself as old (other than taking prudent precautions).
9. Appreciate your cognitive strengths—pattern recognition, crystallized intelligence, wisdom, accumulated knowledge.
10. Promote cognitive health through experiential learning: traveling, spending time with grandchildren, and immersing yourself in new activities and situations. Do new things.
A: They can seem rather obvious, but I wanted to lead readers to this point, to convey the science and the theory in depth that sets those rules. That’s in order to better motivate them, or leave them with something practical. Me, too. One reason I wrote this book was because I knew people in their 80s and 90s at the top of their game and other people not doing so well in their 80s and 90s. I wanted to figure out the difference so I could advise my parents on what to do. And to prepare myself.
razz, the URL appears to have an unnecessary "1" in it... Remove that and the ilnk works fine.
Teacher Terry
1-27-20, 2:27pm
I agree with all except don’t retire. Some people’s jobs are literally killing them. People can find many meaningful activities in retirement.
Yeah, this is a great list. Maybe modify no. 1 to "Engage in meaningful work,"
since many of us had difficult last full-time jobs.
iris lilies
1-27-20, 3:33pm
Retiring from paid work doesn’t mean you retire from meaningful work.
Oh, geez. Spare me from having to be "meaningful."
Retiring was probably the best thing I've ever done.
My mind seems to be holding up OK, and I feel generally healthy, so lists like this are irrelevant to me.
iris lilies
1-27-20, 3:53pm
Oh, geez. Spare me from having to be "meaningful."
Retiring was probably the best thing I've ever done.
My mind seems to be holding up OK, and I feel generally healthy, so lists like this are irrelevant to me.
Jane, relax! “meaningful” means “ that which holds your interest and keeps you interested in life.” So that could well mean sitting on the sofa perusing craft magazines and making lists of things to order on eBay.
It doesn’t mean saving the world and do-gooding for all mankind. Unless of course this is what trips your trigger.
dado potato
1-27-20, 4:04pm
Retiring from paid work doesn’t mean you retire from meaningful work.
++ Agree
Red Simmons (died in 2012 at 102) retired from the Detroit Police Department after a 25-year career. In retirement, he and his wife established a women's running club in Ann Arbor, which developed 3 US Olympic Team members. After the passage of Title IX in 1972, Michigan and other universities initiated women's varsity track and field programs. Therefore, the Michigammes club was wound up. Red Simmons coached university women while he was taking courses to obtain a Masters Degree. In 1976 he was hired as the University of Michigan's first women's track coach.
Until his 101st year, Coach Red Simmons regularly worked out at the athletic center or walked the steps at the Crisler Center indoor arena. He frequently dropped in on the athletic center with words of encouragement for athletes and coaches.
http://www.annarbor.com/sports/former-michigan-track-coach-red-simmons-dies-at-age-102
My perspective is that #1 not retiring, at least from the traditional work force, can conflict with several of the other points that follow. I agree that meaningful work doesn't necessarily imply being traditionally employed.
My perspective is that #1 not retiring, at least from the traditional work force, can conflict with several of the other points that follow. I agree that meaningful work doesn't necessarily imply being traditionally employed.
+1. Working leaves me little time to do all the other stuff on the list.
Jane, relax! “meaningful” means “ that which holds your interest and keeps you interested in life.” So that could well mean sitting on the sofa perusing craft magazines and making lists of things to order on eBay.
It doesn’t mean saving the world and do-gooding for all mankind. Unless of course this is what trips your trigger.
Well, OK...I'm happily engaged reading/learning, ineffectively trying to organize, playing the occasional game, shaking my fist at the TV, and keeping up with my peeps. I'm rarely bored, so it seems I'm doing something right. I'll leave "meaningful" to others--along with the travel and five mile hike stuff.
My mother-in-law is pretty much a living example of someone following most of the OP article's advice. She's 86 and only in the last few years stopped doing paid work. (she was a part time nurse and loved doing it and would still do it but the doc she worked for (15 years her junior) has been slowing down his practice and no longer needed her.) Now she keeps herself busy with various activities including delivering meals on wheels to the "old folks" once a week, belongs to a couple of book clubs, does other activities at the library, walks her daughter's dog every day while daughter is at work, loves to watch Jeopardy and guess the questions, etc. We're taking her to Hawaii in March and in June my sister-in-law is taking her to NH for her 70th high school reunion. The result of all this is that she's still a perky, vibrant, healthy woman who really hasn't slowed down much at all.
That's wonderful, jp1. And Jane, your life sounds like the definition of meaningful activity--maybe work was a bad term I chose; I just meant one needs to have meaningful activity everyday, and it is up to the individual to decide what that it. Many people prior to retirement get into a pattern of having paid work define their meaningful activity. So they felt guilty or vacant when they retire. Others are better at self-directing their activity in accordance with their values. That was kind of what I was aiming at with that descriptor.
for me, I get a lot of pleasure out of teaching, so even though I "retired" from my full time teaching job, I still teach part-time. If I stopped getting pleasure from it, I would have to do something else.
I am less good, however, at self-directing my own time, so that is a problem for me. I have a hard time not working in that sense, so that is negative, and something I have to work on.
And Jane, your life sounds like the definition of meaningful activity--maybe work was a bad term I chose; I just meant one needs to have meaningful activity everyday, and it is up to the individual to decide what that it. Many people prior to retirement get into a pattern of having paid work define their meaningful activity. So they felt guilty or vacant when they retire. Others are better at self-directing their activity in accordance with their values. That was kind of what I was aiming at with that descriptor.
I definitely agree..it depends on what gives your life purpose. I would say, though, that "work" isn't always a dirty word. I think it's a symptom of a sick society if the majority of people think their work is meaningless, stressful, or even makes them ill. Work at its best is "love made visible" as Gibran said.
I enjoy work, even though I have fairly serious complaints about my own job at this stage of my life. Yet, it is so intellectually challenging. It forces me to think and to be creative and engaged with many good people. And it relieves another kind of stress--financial stress. Unfortunately my chance at early retirement via FI has expired.
I frankly don't see myself "retiring" for all those reasons. I suspect the end of my career will come to a natural conclusion as clients start asking themselves, "Is she still alive??" But as my work diminishes I have a whole list of things to fill the vacuum--my work as a Master Gardener, permaculturist, Meals on Wheels volunteer and Grandma will fill my days.
So I do think that the point about "Don't retire" is valid for SOME people. Not all. And as Tybee said, you have to make up your own definition of that that means for you.
I’ve just come to the end of my struggle with the meaningful work thing. I ended my “ primary” career in a decent position financially, and decided to take a job with a nonprofit whose mission I liked. But after a half a year or so, I found myself doing more or less the same stuff I was so happy to retire from before. The mission could be served just as well by somebody who really needed a job, and I had other ( perhaps more self-indulgent) things I wanted to do.
So I quit, and am now learning to live without the structure the last forty years of work provided. It’s an adjustment, but at least so far I don’t feel in any danger of going mentally slack.
iris lilies
2-3-20, 10:14am
Ldahl, now your real challenge begins. I wish you all the luck in carving out your path.
Idahl, the most important activity that I have seen for men who have retired is a supportive social network based on a shared activity outside the family members. Those that have this activity have structure and social support; those that don't seem to struggle and decline often harming the family in the process.
I had one dental patient who came and sat in the dental chair and started to sob. I was startled and gently asked if I could help. Her husband had retired a few months earlier and he followed her around, directing her activities, closing doors as she opened them and trying to direct her life as he did his employees. Sitting in that dental chair was the most space and peace that she had achieved in the few days. This is not a rare case. Divorce is traumatic but not as bad as the remaining with a retired male with few outside interests.
Ldahl, now your real challenge begins. I wish you all the luck is carving out your path.
Thanks. I do like taking my time over breakfast. And spending whole afternoons reading. At least now in the early days, I admit to feeling a little guilty about taking time for myself.
iris lilies
2-3-20, 10:23am
When I retired it surprised me the number of people who talk to me about part-time work. Or consulting. These are friends who wondered what I would do. But one of them who retired the same year has since gone back to work three days a week so I think she was thinking more for herself rather than for me. I told my friends “who would hire me anyway? I wouldn’t hire me. “
Me, I am happy to report that I have never considered nor received one day of paid employment since I retired April 1, 2015.
Idahl, the most important activity that I have seen for men who have retired is a supportive social network based on a shared activity outside the family members. Those that have this activity have structure and social support; those that don't seem to struggle and decline often harming the family in the process.
I had one dental patient who came and sat in the dental chair and started to sob. I was startled and gently asked if I could help. Her husband had retired a few months earlier and he followed her around, directing her activities, closing doors as she opened them and trying to direct her life as he did his employees. Sitting in that dental chair was the most space and peace that she had achieved in the few days. This is not a rare case. Divorce is traumatic but not as bad as the remaining with a retired male with few outside interests.
I think that’s very true. I’ve seen it happen too.
My wife and I are currently sort of negotiating the new situation where I contribute more without breathing down her neck. A major reason I’m home full time is that my wife and kid are both currently experiencing some mental/physical health difficulties, and I wanted to be more available than 50 hours/week could allow. But that (hopefully) will not last forever. Then we’ll see.
iris lilies
2-3-20, 10:46am
I insisted that DH retire when I did because I did not want him to come home in from working and see me laying on the couch and make snarky remarks about couch sitting.
He has always been self directed, so I didn't worry about him losing his way. But Surprisingly, he does a fair amount of couch sitting now. He also does TV watching in the daytime when we are in Hermann which he never did before. Our television was never on during the day prior to retirement. He does sudoku puzzles while watching TV. The Hermann TV watching also comes in between lumberjacking and building stuff, so it’s not like he’s sitting around all day it’s intermittent tv/ couching.
We have to develop some social contacts here in Hermann. We know a few people superficially. But to really get to know people, we need to do community work. Frankly, I dread the garden club because I know their work means maintaining public plantings. Ugh, I do enough if that at home. But I am not interested enough in the archives or historical preservation groups to get my hands dirty there.
There’s also a big and active senior citizen center that has a very handsome building where people play cards and etc. DH is a big card player so you can easily become a member of those groups
Teacher Terry
2-3-20, 12:58pm
My husband has become very active in our Scottish and Irish groups. Not only has it kept him busy but he has made some of his own male friends. He could care less about how the house looks so he never tries to direct me. My ex would have done that though. Although I have moved a lot and started over but now we have such great friends and a support system that we would never consider it. Plus everyone loves it here and intends to stay.
iris lilies
2-3-20, 2:39pm
My husband has become very active in our Scottish and Irish groups. Not only has it kept him busy but he has made some of his own male friends. He could care less about how the house looks so he never tries to direct me. My ex would have done that though. Although I have moved a lot and started over but now we have such great friends and a support system that we would never consider it. Plus everyone loves it here and intends to stay.
I am trying to retire my Scottish heritage obsession and embrace my German ancestors. We had a lot of fun with the St Louis Scottish heritage society at one time.
Hermann is a German town with active German traditions and culture. It is hard to give up the Scots. I spent 60 years gravitating toward Scotland. But I have to give up the Scot’s stuff because we cannot trace our genealogy past our original immigrant in the late 1800s. Meanwhile my German ancestors laid out many generations in an old and clearly written document.
DH is Swiss which is of course quite Germanic in modern cultural things.
But I love Scotland so much in a romantic way, I just don’t have those feelings for the German part of the world.
Teacher Terry
2-3-20, 2:47pm
I am Irish, English, German and Polish. My husband is half Scottish. He can trace his roots way back. He has gotten so caught up in it that he wears the traditional outfit to the big events. The first time Max saw him in a kilt he couldn’t stop barking and growling:)). It seems silly to me but he is having fun so I am not saying a thing. He was lucky enough to get the whole outfit for 50 when it’s worth about 300. Someone’s brother died and his sister was selling it on Craigslist. She kindly held it for him until he could make the 3 hour drive. Very lucky the size was right.
I am trying to retire my Scottish heritage obsession and embrace my German ancestors. We had a lot of fun with the St Louis Scottish heritage society at one time.
There is a linguistic shared trait that the Scots and the Germans have, which I think is so fascinating. As we all know, Britain is made up of the Angles and the Saxons. There was a huge Germanic influence right from the get-go. And as we all know, in 1066, the French moved invaded there were a lot of strong influences in all areas of culture.
About 400 years later, the Great Vowel Shift started to occur in England. The funny thing is, The Scots didn't go along for the ride for the most part--they kept parts of the Saxon element of the language, and where vowels shifted in England, they never moved in Scotland.
That's why many Scots still say "nicht" for "night" and "hoose" for "house" and stuff like that.
IL, you probably are aware of this, but I've always found it fascinating.
Her husband had retired a few months earlier and he followed her around, directing her activities, closing doors as she opened them and trying to direct her life as he did his employees.
This is exactly what my dad did when he retired. Finally, after a few months, my mom sat him down and gently told him that she had been doing the housekeeping just fine for forty years and didn't need his assistance, and that he needed to find a hobby. He ended up taking up walking. Every morning he'd wander off in a random direction and when he got tired or bored he'd catch the bus home from wherever he was. It got him out of the house and they both lived happily ever after.
SO and I are still probably a decade away from retiring, but I sometimes wonder what SO is going to do. I have some ideas about what I will do with my time, but SO doesn't have a lot of outside interests. He gets bored if it's a 3 day weekend and we haven't made plans to go out of town. Hopefully he'll find something more fulfilling than spending his days watching marathons of Below Deck, Deep Space Nine, Dr. Pimplepopper and Harry Potter, which is currently how he spends most weekends.
When I retired it surprised me the number of people who talk to me about part-time work. Or consulting.
DW retires on May 15, 2020. She's already planning a consulting business, largely because she finds the work rewarding but the bureaucracy stifling. This way she can work for family clients and avoid a good chunk of the nonsense. But that's what she says now. I suspect she'll take several weeks off through June and, by then, consulting may not be how she wants to spend many of her hours. We will see. Having her around the house most of the time is going to be a huge adjustment for me (kind of the reverse of the retired-husband situation except that her style isn't cleaning or closing doors).
My husband retired in August 2019. I continue to work about 45 hours a week. It will be about 6 years until I retire.
Our current arrangement is that he does everything at home, other than I like to do my own laundry do I do that. Also I pay the bills because I always have. So I’m loving it. It’s like I have a personal assistant. He’s doing great as his personality is a good fit for this situation.
So far so good. I can’t imagine being home full time. But that’s in the future so we’ll deal with it then.
Purpose and meaning are fuzzy words. In a matter of years, few will remember we even existed so as things wind down, perhaps the best thing is to feel useful, spend time with people you like to be with or alone if you wish, learn and try new things and just not take everything so seriously. If paid work/career does it for you, then continue. These lists can be guilt inducing if one isn't living up to those standards.
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