View Full Version : How to be happy
Being rich and famous does not create happiness according to this ongoing study for 75+ years. What does? It does make sense.
https://www.ted.com/talks/robert_waldinger_what_makes_a_good_life_lessons_fr om_the_longest_study_on_happiness?language=en
Being rich and famous does not create happiness according to this ongoing study for 75+ years. What does? It do.es make sense
https://www.ted.com/talks/robert_waldinger_what_makes_a_good_life_lessons_fr om_the_longest_study_on_happiness?language=en
I had a long discussion one night with a neurosurgeon about money. He wanted to know how I could possibly survive on $30k/year. I asked him if he even knew what that was? Huh? So I explained the purchase price of my home and the monthly payment ror 30y as well as that of my car. I then pointed out that he had just written a check for a car that was $10k more than my house.
This went on into "the more you have the more you get" referring to really nice freebies and perks in life. It was actually a very good conversation on my end. At the point in time he had divorced for the 2nd time.
In ending the conversation I told him "I'll take the love of my husband for life over all your money". He vehemently disagreed. This was in the mid-80s. Last I heard he was on divorce #4 and plenty of money.
I truly believe that once the threshold of all needs being met for roof/food/safety, that the quality of happiness doesn't rise much whether it's an extra 5k or 500k. I think people confuse filling wants, and having bigger and better stuff with happiness. Although we are certainly grateful to have zero debt, I don't think we are happier than we were 20 years.
How to be happy, presented in less than three minutes (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YAzAu3Ut6c).
Up to $75K in annual income happiness increases as income goes up. After that more money does not make you happier.
I have known people in or from poor counties who were probably happier than the average American with all our wealth.
This video completely supports the Roseto Effect, which states that community has a much larger impact on health and longevity than most widely-accepted health measures. In this town, most residents smoked, drank, and never watched macronutrient ratios or calories, and they were amazingly long-lived.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roseto_effect
In terms of the money aspect of happiness, I've known for a really long time that money does not necessarily equal happiness. This video is no surprise to me. I agree with Yppej, I think that stats say that 75k is the magic threshhold--in other words, as long as your basic survival is ensured, additional income yields diminishing returns in terms of happiness. What's that famous Brazilian parable?....
There was once a businessman who was sitting by the beach in a small Brazilian village.
As he sat, he saw a Brazilian fisherman rowing a small boat towards the shore having caught quite few big fish.
The businessman was impressed and asked the fisherman, “How long does it take you to catch so many fish?”
The fisherman replied, “Oh, just a short while.”
“Then why don’t you stay longer at sea and catch even more?” The businessman was astonished.
“This is enough to feed my whole family,” the fisherman said.
The businessman then asked, “So, what do you do for the rest of the day?”
The fisherman replied, “Well, I usually wake up early in the morning, go out to sea and catch a few fish, then go back and play with my kids. In the afternoon, I take a nap with my wife, and evening comes, I join my buddies in the village for a drink — we play guitar, sing and dance throughout the night.”
The businessman offered a suggestion to the fisherman.
“I am a PhD in business management. I could help you to become a more successful person. From now on, you should spend more time at sea and try to catch as many fish as possible. When you have saved enough money, you could buy a bigger boat and catch even more fish. Soon you will be able to afford to buy more boats, set up your own company, your own production plant for canned food and distribution network. By then, you will have moved out of this village and to Sao Paulo, where you can set up HQ to manage your other branches.”
The fisherman continues, “And after that?”
The businessman laughs heartily, “After that, you can live like a king in your own house, and when the time is right, you can go public and float your shares in the Stock Exchange, and you will be rich.”
The fisherman asks, “And after that?”
The businessman says, “After that, you can finally retire, you can move to a house by the fishing village, wake up early in the morning, catch a few fish, then return home to play with kids, have a nice afternoon nap with your wife, and when evening comes, you can join your buddies for a drink, play the guitar, sing and dance throughout the night!”
The fisherman was puzzled, “Isn’t that what I am doing now?”
The Roseto effect should be studied and emulated everywhere.
The Brazilian fisherman has exactly the right idea, in my opinion.
How to be happy, presented in less than three minutes (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YAzAu3Ut6c).
Love this! Thanks, oldhat.
rosarugosa
2-20-20, 2:18pm
Great story, Catherine!
How to be happy, presented in less than three minutes (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YAzAu3Ut6c).
That was a blast from the past--but still relevant.
happystuff
2-20-20, 6:13pm
In terms of the money aspect of happiness, I've known for a really long time that money does not necessarily equal happiness. This video is no surprise to me. I agree with Yppej, I think that stats say that 75k is the magic threshhold--in other words, as long as your basic survival is ensured, additional income yields diminishing returns in terms of happiness.
I can agree that money does not necessarily equal happiness, but can attest to "not enough money" can equal increased stress and even unhappiness. Ahhhh.... to reach the magic threshhold would be nice!!
ApatheticNoMore
2-20-20, 6:26pm
I can agree that money does not necessarily equal happiness, but can attest to "not enough money" can equal increased stress and even unhappiness. Ahhhh.... to reach the magic threshhold would be nice!!
It's rather like what Freud claimed, that he couldn't make people happy, just remove their neurotic suffering, so they were left with just ordinary human suffering (well noone ever said Freud was an optimist).
Rather like money, it can't make you happy (although if I win the lottery I might seriously rethink this ...), but it can remove the suffering caused by purely economic worries.
happystuff
2-20-20, 6:44pm
How to be happy, presented in less than three minutes (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YAzAu3Ut6c).
That was a VERY young Penny Marshall!!! LOL.
iris lilies
2-20-20, 7:39pm
It's rather like what Freud claimed, that he couldn't make people happy, just remove their neurotic suffering, so they were left with just ordinary human suffering (well noone ever said Freud was an optimist).
Rather like money, it can't make you happy (although if I win the lottery I might seriously rethink this ...), but it can remove the suffering caused by purely economic worries.
That’s a good way to look at it, the relationship between money and happiness.
I can't speak for anyone but myself but I have never found more money to make me more happy. Like plenty of people my income has increased over time. Mostly gradually, occasionally in some sizable jumps. But I've always lived within my means and at some point around 4 or 5 years out of college I was no longer living paycheck to paycheck. After that point I stopped feeling like a raise made me happier. I did, however, continue to increase my spending as my income rose, just not as fast as my income went up.
Once I got to $75k/year income though I noticed that pay increases didn't equate to spending increases anymore. Apparently at that point I was literally buying everything I wanted, when I wanted it. Now, as I can see retirement on the horizon within the next decade, the happiness I get from increased income is not because of what I can spend it on today, but in seeing how much more quickly I can reach the financial point where I can retire from paid employment while being able to continue to spend as I do now. So yeah, if my boss gives me a million dollar raise tomorrow my happiness will go through the roof. Not because I'd go out and spend it on some extravagant bazingous pin, but because my perceived retirement age will go through the floor!
I can only speak for myself:
We were barely making it for 20 years. We lived 4 of those years with 3 little kids and no health insurance. Day to day survival. Then our income increased at the same time the kids entered high school. So expenses increased with income.
Ten more years went by, kids became independent, and a few more promotions happened. and finally we had more income than we needed to get by. The lack of stress over money has made us much happier.
There is a breaking point. More money at this point probably wouldn’t increase our happiness any further. But it sure is nice to be able to save and plan ahead and have a few thousand for emergencies these last several years. A world of difference in our quality of life.
ToomuchStuff
2-21-20, 1:46am
How to be happy, presented in less than three minutes (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YAzAu3Ut6c).
I was thinking that was going to be, two minutes and twenty three seconds long, and by Jimmy Soul. And now I have that going through my head.
I can agree that money does not necessarily equal happiness, but can attest to "not enough money" can equal increased stress and even unhappiness. Ahhhh.... to reach the magic threshhold would be nice!!
Yes. I have never made anywhere close to $75K. The threshhold would be life-changing for me, among other things enabling me to put in a second bathroom. My son's severe OCD leads to conflicts in use of the one bathroom.
happystuff
2-21-20, 8:57am
Yes. I have never made anywhere close to $75K. The threshhold would be life-changing for me, among other things enabling me to put in a second bathroom. My son's severe OCD leads to conflicts in use of the one bathroom.
I hope something comes along that you are able to get that 2nd bathroom. Often it is the little things that make such a huge difference.
I can't speak for anyone but myself but I have never found more money to make me more happy. Like plenty of people my income has increased over time. Mostly gradually, occasionally in some sizable jumps. But I've always lived within my means and at some point around 4 or 5 years out of college I was no longer living paycheck to paycheck. After that point I stopped feeling like a raise made me happier. I did, however, continue to increase my spending as my income rose, just not as fast as my income went up.
Once I got to $75k/year income though I noticed that pay increases didn't equate to spending increases anymore. Apparently at that point I was literally buying everything I wanted, when I wanted it. Now, as I can see retirement on the horizon within the next decade, the happiness I get from increased income is not because of what I can spend it on today, but in seeing how much more quickly I can reach the financial point where I can retire from paid employment while being able to continue to spend as I do now. So yeah, if my boss gives me a million dollar raise tomorrow my happiness will go through the roof. Not because I'd go out and spend it on some extravagant bazingous pin, but because my perceived retirement age will go through the floor!
Ditto. Once we hit that threshold, every wage increase thereafter, went into retirement accounts, investments, and debt reduction.
When I got my RN license, I started putting every "take home" increase into my 403b. So because of that tax reduction we did have a small increase in take-home. This action preceeded the above.
I love oldhat's 3 minute video, and it is absolutely true. As (I think) Abraham Lincoln once said, "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." And, as my friend's mother used to say, "Happiness is a choice, not an emotion." Today, I am supremely happy and supremely grateful.
I love oldhat's 3 minute video, and it is absolutely true. As (I think) Abraham Lincoln once said, "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." And, as my friend's mother used to say, "Happiness is a choice, not an emotion." Today, I am supremely happy and supremely grateful.
That seems true to a point. Genetics are thought to play a part as to what your personal happiness parameters will be. Of course, there's always epigenetics...
In my experience, happiness is without cause.
In my experience, happiness is without cause.
Hi, Xmac, haven't seen your posts for a while. From my experience, happiness is the cause. If I turn my back to the sun, I will see only shadows, so I turn to the sun and thrive.
There is a story about a little gru:)mpy bear coming out of the cave complaining to the sun about how dark it was in the cave. The sun was puzzled by the little bear was saying and asked the bear to show him the darkness. The little bear led the way into the cave, saying "See how dark it is" The sun looked in and saw...?
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