Telephone conversations: love 'em or hate 'em?

[catherine]

People are so itching for social connection these days, so reaching out more by phone is natural.

Problem is, I hate telephone conversations. Maybe because I'm an introvert, I have no patience for sitting on the phone in idle conversation. I love texting, because the conversations are shorter and I can respond at my leisure. But if I feel I'm going to get locked into a conversation that will take more than 5-10 minutes I start looking for the exit.

How about you guys? Do you spend much time in conversation on the phone? If so, are you an extrovert? I'm wondering if there is an introvert/extrovert divide on this. And do you have more of a yearning to talk to people on the phone more now, during the quarantine?

I'm still doing the minimal, but I have to say that I had a great conversation with my MN brother a couple of weeks ago, and it made me realize I really should talk to some people more often.

[Tradd]

I love to yak on the phone. I had a conversation with a friend that was 3 HOURS last week. I'm a combo extrovert/introvert.

[Yppej]

I am an introvert and I do not mind long conversations, but I only have a few people I regularly speak with.

[JaneV2.0]

I'm another phone-a-phobic. I used to enjoy talking on the phone and then I started getting calls from friends and relatives having health crises, and acquaintances needing money and insurers wanting to upsell me, and I got so I couldn't stand the sound of a ringing telephone. It was like low-level PTSD... I got a new cell, which took care of the insurers, changed my ring tone to something less insistent, lost some loved ones and others' health stabilized, and I'm better now. But really, I like email, where I can take time to arrange my thoughts, and where i have some small chance of being heard.

[razz]

It depends. Sometimes the conversation flows well into interesting directions and other times, I am looking for topics to talk about even with the same person, sort of like in face to face contact, I suppose.

[KnownRogue]

I love voice calls. Texts are too short, and when are we done? Is the conversation over?

[herbgeek]

I don't mind being on phone calls- assuming they don't go on too long-- but I hate to initiate them. I feel its kind of intrusive to expect someone to drop what they are doing because I have decided I want company. I much prefer email, where I know someone is responding when its convenient for them. The folks I talk to under 40 never use email though, so I'll text with them, but again it feels rather intrusive.

[KnownRogue]

I don't mind being on phone calls- assuming they don't go on too long-- but I hate to initiate them. I feel its kind of intrusive to expect someone to drop what they are doing because I have decided I want company. I much prefer email, where I know someone is responding when its convenient for them. The folks I talk to under 40 never use email though, so I'll text with them, but again it feels rather intrusive.

Man, I wish someone would intrude. What am I doing, anyway? Hand washing socks? Painting? Intrude away.

[Tradd]

I don't mind being on phone calls- assuming they don't go on too long-- but I hate to initiate them. I feel its kind of intrusive to expect someone to drop what they are doing because I have decided I want company. I much prefer email, where I know someone is responding when its convenient for them. The folks I talk to under 40 never use email though, so I'll text with them, but again it feels rather intrusive.

You know what you do? Text them and ask if it's a good time to talk. I do this all the time. Works well.

[catherine]

I don't mind being on phone calls- assuming they don't go on too long-- but I hate to initiate them. I feel its kind of intrusive to expect someone to drop what they are doing because I have decided I want company.

I agree--and that may be one of the barriers I have to talking on the phone. Tradd's idea of getting permission, or even setting up an "appointment" so to speak is the best way to do it, IMHO, and I likewise appreciate the courtesy when someone wants to speak with me. Most of the time, I say, of course you can call! but I do spend a lot of time on the phone interviewing people, so chances are I won't be available at the drop of a hat.

[ToomuchStuff]

My phone bill is $100 or less a year, and when I was in school, we read a book called get your point across in 30 seconds or less.

[Teacher Terry]

I have been talking to friends much more often and the calls are long because they are replacing visits. I am a extrovert and knit while I talk.

[jp1]

I hate the telephone. My first job out of college was box office manager for a performing arts organization. 8 hours/day of talking on the phone nonstop. When email, and then texting, became things I was very happy. I have several people I text on a daily basis. Other than work related calls I have exactly one friend I talk to on the phone regularly (roughly once a week for about 30-45 minutes).

[SteveinMN]

With the right person (there are maybe three of those in the world) I can talk on the phone for an hour, easy. Others, no. I spent too many years doing telephone tech support and phone meetings at work, so I don't generally like to talk on the phone. It's also harder to take a few moments to think of a response and I do like to think about my responses. And most people cannot stand silence so they plunge ahead saying somethinganything, which doesn't always foster progress in communication. Introvert. I would much rather use email. Or I'll text if I'm not stuck using the phone keyboard.

[early morning]

Introvert here. I see the phone as a tool. Not crazy about long conversations, and knowing I need to call someone just to chat (my turn to call, need to check in/check up with, etc) stresses me out for some strange reason. I DO call people, I'm just not real happy about it, and tend to put it off as long as possible. Which leads to MORE stress, lol....

I prefer email. I don't like text as well, mostly because of the tiny keys. :~)

[Tradd]

One of the things I love about having an iPhone and a MacBook is that I can link the two together. I can get texts on my MacBook, so I can text people with a regular keyboard. So much better!

[Simplemind]

I hate the phone at home. I'm an introvert and like to retreat to my cave. The only thing worse is the drop by.
When I was at work I had to follow three different radio nets along with multiple phone lines. I did it with no problem but loved the sound of silence when I went home. Still, I would talk with a best friend (who would do house work and worse while talking) and my mom for a hour or so. My dad would do the drop by and I asked that he phone me and I had to pick up because he would call from my driveway saying he was dropping by and would be at my door within 15 seconds.
Although we both have cellphones we don't carry them which aggravates people because they expect you to pick up no matter where you are and if you don't they text saying "Call me!!"
Unless time is off the essence I prefer email or text which can be answered at convenience. Phone calls last, in person conversations first.
I can't think of anything worse than Facetime or Skype. I've recently done two Zoom meetings with the screen off. AAuuuuughhhh

[happystuff]

I don't mind phone conversations at all - depending on the person - lol. Love Skype for hanging out with my siblings and family. Everyone gets on and does whatever they want. Several do crafts, some do bills, some make meals - one sib completed installing a kitchen floor!

[iris lilies]

There’s no one I talk to on the telephone anymore.


It’s probably been decades since I’ve talked, socially, on the telephone.

Probably the last person I talkEd to at some length on the phone would’ve been my mother but she died in the year 2010 and her brain was disintegrated five years before that so that’s how long it’s been since I talkEd to people on the phone. Outside of work.

Until the year I retired I was still having telephone conversations, that was work not social.

[KayLR]

Introvert here, but I don't mind telephone conversations as long as they are not one-sided. It's nice to be asked how things are going in MY world too, not just hearing about their lives on end. My grandma used to go on and on, mostly about people I didn't even know. I could put the phone down and tend to a kid momentarily and pick it back up and she never knew.

I really only talk to a couple people on the phone socially. My sister can tend to be a one-sided talker, always talking about her grandkids on and on, doesn't ask me anything much. And oddly, I call HER most often to check in. The other is my daughter, but I don't really call to socialize as much as problem-solve, do calendar/grandkid stuff. We text alot. She doesn't care for the phone either.

During this shelter-in I have called one elderly friend and have about 1/2 hr. conversations once a week because I know she's going stir-crazy.