Family stuff

[Tybee]

Okay, I'm hoping you all will help me think through a dilemma I am having. Since my parents went into assisted living 2.5 years ago, very unexpectedly and traumatically, I have made several trips to their house and each time have tried to take a couple of things of sentimental value, mostly pictures and letters. Because of sibling tension, I could not have cleared out much more than that over the years.

Bro who is executor refuses to deal with the things in their house and is now proposing all contents be auctioned off. I am unwilling to accept that as I have not had a chance to go through and pull out some family heirlooms that remain. I also want to go through and get personal things out of there, although I have some of that over the two years.

So I am looking at maybe going this summer and pulling out what is personal, burning papers that need to be burned--he did not take their personal papers, for example, and it's dangerous, they sit there--anyway, someone needs to deal with this stuff.

Meanwhile, we are probably moving this summer to be closer to parents in assisted living and now I hav eto move stuff I have brought back. Again,it's mostly letters and photos. Right now, it takes up a dresser full of space, and I have put photos in albums. I have also copied photos for siblings, sent them letters from 40 years of letters my parents saved, sorted through and saved their things for them, mailed them at cost, have never received any thanks at all, and it has been a lot of work.

So I have kind of had it with saving anything for them anymore. I guess if they want it, they can go to the house and pull out what they want?

Second, I am feeling need to downsize the trove of family paper. My mom, for example, as at least 5 law certificate and diplomas, and I feel awful burning them, but I also don't want to drag all this stuff around, and my brothers have no interest in anything from her, that I can tell.

I did burn the continuing legal education certificates, that's a start. But today I found her admission to the bar from 1949, and I realized she was only 23, and I thought about how hard it was for her to accomplish that, and then I start crying, and I feel awful, and I honestly do not know what to do with all this stuff but more to the point, all this emotion.

Any suggestions? Please don't tell me to scan everything because I just won't and I hate having all those digital things in my life. I'm better with paper.

And I kind of don't care about her other descendants having things from her since they don't care about her. So I don't feel obligated anymore to save things for family members who have been unkind to her.

[happystuff]

Okay, I'm hoping you all will help me think through a dilemma I am having. Since my parents went into assisted living 2.5 years ago, very unexpectedly and traumatically, I have made several trips to their house and each time have tried to take a couple of things of sentimental value, mostly pictures and letters. Because of sibling tension, I could not have cleared out much more than that over the years.

Bro who is executor refuses to deal with the things in their house and is now proposing all contents be auctioned off. I am unwilling to accept that as I have not had a chance to go through and pull out some family heirlooms that remain. I also want to go through and get personal things out of there, although I have some of that over the two years.

So I am looking at maybe going this summer and pulling out what is personal, burning papers that need to be burned--he did not take their personal papers, for example, and it's dangerous, they sit there--anyway, someone needs to deal with this stuff.

Meanwhile, we are probably moving this summer to be closer to parents in assisted living and now I hav eto move stuff I have brought back. Again,it's mostly letters and photos. Right now, it takes up a dresser full of space, and I have put photos in albums. I have also copied photos for siblings, sent them letters from 40 years of letters my parents saved, sorted through and saved their things for them, mailed them at cost, have never received any thanks at all, and it has been a lot of work.

So I have kind of had it with saving anything for them anymore. I guess if they want it, they can go to the house and pull out what they want?

Second, I am feeling need to downsize the trove of family paper. My mom, for example, as at least 5 law certificate and diplomas, and I feel awful burning them, but I also don't want to drag all this stuff around, and my brothers have no interest in anything from her, that I can tell.

I did burn the continuing legal education certificates, that's a start. But today I found her admission to the bar from 1949, and I realized she was only 23, and I thought about how hard it was for her to accomplish that, and then I start crying, and I feel awful, and I honestly do not know what to do with all this stuff but more to the point, all this emotion.

Any suggestions? Please don't tell me to scan everything because I just won't and I hate having all those digital things in my life. I'm better with paper.

And I kind of don't care about her other descendants having things from her since they don't care about her. So I don't feel obligated anymore to save things for family members who have been unkind to her.

Take pictures! Things that you don't want to keep but still may have sentimental value to you - take pictures of these things. Take a picture of her admission to the bar from 1949 and you can go back and look at it whenever you want.

Edited to add: I know you say you don't want the digital things in your life but I'm thinking your choices are pretty much digital, paper or nothing. And, again, you don't need to scan all this stuff. Just take pictures - that includes of papers, certificates and actual objects/things you may want to remember but not necessarily own and store.

[iris lilies]

Well, I cant advise on your emotional tie to stuff because Me.

I do think your mother’s admission to law school document is kind of cool, and here’s what I would do with that: give it context and a story. Type up that little bit that you told us plus something else about your mother’s law career, no more than a paragraph. Preserve it in some way. One thing.This is not an all or nothing proposition. Pick the best thing from a group of things and preserve it. It represents all of the things that are going into the trash, so the law school admission document would represent her various degrees certificates etc.

Your grandchildren are pretty young if I remember right. You dont know which ones are going to turn out to be history nerds and family genealogists. But there’s a chance that one of them will. A Nicely curated object from your mother, if they don’t end up with anything else from that generation, could be welcome.

In my immediate family we have no younger generation. My grandmother’s and grandfather’s stuff descended on my own mother because she was the daughter who stayed in the same town as them. But fortunately, they didn’t have a lot of stuff. So when everyone died,grandparents, my mother etc. I gathered the small pool of stuff and copied photographs – only key ones – and made up a little packet for my cousin’s children. I felt that was my responsibility, and I don’t give a damn what they do with the stuff that I send to them, that is all on them.Once it is out of my sphere of responsibility my conscious is clean.

Interestingly, I did save one packet of Photos for the eldest grandchild of that generation who is estranged from our family. I wrote about that here. Some years later I wrote directly to her to ask if she wanted the photographs and she replied that she did so I sent them on to her. She was easy to find because she’s an artist in the SF Bay area.

[Simplemind]

Been there done that, so many emotions. There were three of us kids and it was surprising in the end (especially to my father who was the last to go) what was important to us and what was not. My mom would have loved to be buried with everything. My dad was under the impression that we would want everything down to the final matchstick. There was an uncomfortable feeling at our final meeting before things went to the estate sale that there would be hard and hurt feelings. There was not.
Before we got to that point I took every bit of paper out of the house and went through it. I spent a great deal of time with a paper shredder and a roaring fire. I kept what I needed for future business and some interesting possible sentimental things. I went through the photos and made piles. Anything with a sibling in it went to their pile. The rest went in a basket. If there was a picture I was sure all three of us would want I scanned it. I had them over for a holiday dinner and gave them their photos. Then I had them go through the basket to pull out what they would like. Then I gave them a CD of the scans. One more going, going gone.... and they were gone. It saddened me that we didn't even know who many of the people were in my folks old photos. Nothing was written on the back. But so many photos where we did know the people, they didn't want. Photos are my thing since I'm pretty much the family historian. I already know my son isn't interested in what I have.
I kept more than I should have but in the beginning I had so many plates spinning that I wasn't sure what was going to be important. I have now had a couple of times through the past few years to go through it again and toss more out. I'm down to very little since the estate finally closed after my dad's passing in '18. I had to keep some things because I wasn't sure if something would pop up legal or tax wise. Neither of my sibs has ever had a second thought and asked for something they had passed on. I have the remains in a plastic tub which I'm putting in the attic. I'll give myself a couple of more years before I purge the rest. It is more about emotionally letting go than anything else.
Being home during this pandemic is allowing me time to look at my own stuff that I know my kid is not going to want and letting go of it now so that he doesn't have to later. I have boxes of plaques, awards and certificates that are of no interest to me in retirement without an office to display them.
So.....… I would contact them and give them a date to decide what they are interested in. After that, start the purge process that you feel comfortable with.

[Tybee]

Thank you, IL and Simplemind, I really appreciate your insights on this from folks who have done it and lived to tell the tale. Very helpful.

I think I will send the pics of the Nebraska ancestors to my second cousin the family historian who will love them and put them on ancestry--another cousin of mine there put up a photo of my grandfather I had never seen, and neither had my dad, so we were both thrilled to see it.

The photos are very cool because the houses were obviously built out on the prairie and there were no trees, but they are in-town houses, when Nebraska was in its infancy.

[Gardnr]

I am one of 6 kids. I emptied Mom's house in a single day as we had a full cash offer if they could take possession in 7 days-so empty and clean was required. (My brother lives in the same town so I had him rally 4 guys with pickups and a trailer and it all got hauled off to homes that needed the items or to the Thrift store-his daughter drove several loads there. The guys were all young newly marrieds so they were grateful for some of the big stuff.

I designated 1 large box for "I just don't know". This was 2007. We had a 3 generation family reunion in 2010 and I put the box out for everyone to go through. My youngest sister doesn't want the rest tossed so I'll be taking it to her. Yes, that was 10y ago but it was tucked away in a corner so not annoying---until last month!

These are not easy decisions to make. I'm glad for you that you've decided to close this chapter so you can move on. Whatever you decide, be at peace.

[Tybee]

Wow, Gardner, you emptied your Mom's house in a single day--you are my hero! I wish I could empty it in a week; I've been trying to get down there for months but need permission from everyone, and now of course we can't travel there.

How cool that you could all get together at a multi-generational family reunion and people could take what they wanted. What a lovely idea.

I want to give some of her silver to my brother's children, just because she would have wanted that, before she became demented.

[iris lilies]

I always have a lot to say about this topic keeping in mind that I’m lucky because our family isn’t that big, we had no real trouble dividing up grandparents or parents stuff, and here’s a giggle – my cousin who I love to death but he is a hoarder bought my moms house and moved into it. We didn’t even have to clean it out totally!

Anyway, I don’t feel much of a responsibility for the few things that belong to my parents because they have no grandchildren who might be interested in their letters or photos. I mean, who would I give this stuff to? My cousin has one daughter but she never knew my parents so why would she be interested? I imagine it will all go in the trash heap with my other stuff when I am dead.

I suppose I could give it to my cousin, the hoarder, who is the family historian for that side of the family but I just think it’s one more burden that his descendants will have to clean out. He has no children. There’s really no reason to burden him with more crap.


As far as devoting physical space to this stuff: I have always had a steamer trunk that was my “sentimental “stash. It represents things from my life for the most part, but I have lately been jamming family letters and a photo album or two in there.

I now feel the need to clean that out because I don’t really care to keep all that crap from my own life.So maybe I will reduce it and sqeeze down sentimental junk to a smaller container. Or, thinking about our Hermann house, maybe I will keep my dad’s dresser for an upstairs bedroom and designate that the “sentiment” container and get rid of the trunk.Maybe I can jam all photograph albums in there and have them all nicely contained.

[iris lilies]

Also Tybee I will make my plea: I don’t think there’s anything especially nice about photos in albums. My preference, today, would be to have photographs in a box with clearly penciled context of each one on the back that way it’s easy to turn the photograph over and see it. The context of each photo is far more important than having them laid out in the album.

[Teacher Terry]

My Dad was the first blue collar worker to become a city councilman in our town. He was never defeated but had to retire after 16 years due to his health. My mom made a scrapbook which I kept. I also kept his badge and gavel from when he was council president. When my mom was dying she had us go through the pictures and take what we wanted. I took 5. When the 3 of us were done she walked outside and threw the rest in the dumpster. We all took a few items. The rest went to a auction house. She destroyed all personal letters, etc.

[razz]

TT, your mother was a really smart lady.

Tybee, I am sorry that your family doesn't acknowledge appreciation of your efforts.

After both my parents passed in 1998, my one sister, C, took responsibility for clearing out the house. She was so emotionally invested that I offered help and then backed off. So did my other sibs. My mother had labeled a number of the items with individual names so I got the two oil paintings that I had loved all my life. I wanted nothing else. We tried to suggest that C hold an auction to clear everything but she declined that and wanted to personally give stuff away to people who she felt needed it. It took her a year, the property was sold and legal issues settled.
When C moved into an apartment, she took so much stuff in boxes. She could not let go and still has so much admitting that she should never have held onto all that stuff almost 20 years later.

Having gone through that experience, when I moved after DH's passing, I asked myself what I wanted my kids to find when I passed. I kept an envelope with diplomas and awards, the financial records needed for tax audits, photo albums that neither daughter wants, and some of DH's tools that I might need but have reduced and keep reducing or decluttering by donating to Habitat for Humanity or the Salvation Army. I need very little in actuality.

Tybee, this is a very emotional time for you and your efforts. What would you ask your kids to do with everything that you are now dealing with - if you were no longer able to do it?

There is no right way, it seems, as these challenges are very individual to experience.

[catherine]

I love everyone's thoughts and advice here. Because I'm a huge sentimental slob with regard to historical photos and documents, I feel your pain, Tybee.

When we went through my MIL's stuff and our own stuff a year or so later, we had to do the decide and purge/keep. Two thoughts:

--In the short term, plastic tubs are great for the "don't knows"--IL has a great idea about giving the items a story. Give yourself a little time to decide. I also like the "memory trunk" idea. I am keeping old photos in an old trunk myself, which is still in the NJ garage, but I'll have to deal with it at some point.

--Throughout my kids' lives, whenever they got a little certificate or something, I put them in their own presentation binders, which are great, because they are simply plastic sleeves with archival paper in-between.So you don't have to paste anything, you just slip it in. Easy as pie. That might be a solution to your mother's degrees and certificates. As for me, I would keep her law degree for sure. Shoot, I'd be tempted to frame it eventually. For a woman to achieve that accomplishment back in those days, it must have taken a lot of grit, and maybe your kids/grandkids would benefit from that inspiration some day. Here's a link to the presentation binder that I used. They are flat, take up hardly any space, and are so useful. https://www.lionop.com/poly-filing-and-presentation-supplies/art-portfolio-presentation-display-book-41024bk.asp

It's hard when your siblings aren't cooperating, but I would insist that they give you the time you need to go through it. Some people simply don't value symbols of family history, and you clearly do. I think it would make your parents happy knowing you care so much.

[pinkytoe]

As far as sentimental items from parents, as I recall it was a gradual process. Started off by just boxing up and bringing back to my house and then going through bit by bit whenever I could muster the courage. As of now, I probably have a shoebox of old photos and a small chest of other things. I still haven't tossed my Mom's pharmacy degree from 1942. DH has a similar situation as his mother's house (who is in assisted living) is full of old stuff but is being "rented" by a niece. None of the sibs want to go through things while she is living there but it looks like she will inherit the house and contents by virtue of squatting.

[Tybee]

Thank you all, I am really appreciating these ideas and viewpoints. I definitely have cut back on my own things because of this experience, so Razz, I am not very worried about what I will leave for my children--although I will keep pruning as long as I live, for sure. But I don't have more than two small boxes of personal stuff from my life. But of course, note to self, go through it every year and whittle it own.

I am more concerned that I will somehow take on all my parents' stuff without really wanting to, and be overwhelmed by it.

IL, the photo boxes are a great idea, especially the part about writing on the back. But I am unwilling to take on that job of writing on the un-notated photos, although maybe in the future? I hear you about the albums; so far they are working well for me because we actually look at the photos which we did not do when they were in boxes. I just put one together for my dad and will mail it when I can-- he is excited that he will have a photo album to look at, although the photos were in his house, in boxes, for at least 50 years, so he certainly could have pulled them out and looked at them, but he didn't.

Catherine, I like the presentation folder idea. That would be a great way to keep track of some of the stuff and still have it accessible, and good for stuff like the kids report cards. Since I have both my dad's report cards and my kids' report cards now. Jeesh.

One of Mom's certificates is already framed in a really dramatic and cool old frame so I will just keep that, for sure. I think it is her admittance to being able to argue cases in front of the state's supreme court. Her other state supreme court certificate is much less dramatic. The one from 1949, when she was admitted to the bar, is the one that stumped me. Yeah, she was the only woman in her law class, so there is that.

I guess alot of it is grief from bad family dynamics and it is hard to spend a lot of time with these artifacts. They bring it all back. I worked a solid day on Dad's photo album and ended up feeling both angry and depressed, so I just want to send it along and get it out of my house, so I will have done my duty.

On the other hand, there are rewards in being the family historian--I found a framed photograph that I thought was my dad in his mother's arms standing in a farmyard and then I found a letter and thought about the garb the woman was wearing and realized that it was a photo of my grandfather as an infant on the family dairy farm, which would put the photgraph as being from the 1880s-and it's a wonderful photograph. That one I will reframe and hang in my new house!

[Tybee]

Pinkytoe, I am sorry about the situation with your niece--that is not good. We had the same deal--my folks are still living and everyone was afraid to go through things and throw anything out--but it's past time now.

[Teacher Terry]

My parents downsized from a home to a apartment at 65. My mom and I sorted and sold stuff for 2 years. They just put stuff in the basement when they didn’t use it. We had many garage sales. We had fun doing it. She then gave away or donated what she didn’t want. When my dad died she donated most of his stuff. Then when she was dying she took a bunch of her own stuff to thrift stores. We were going to hold a sale in her apartment but it wasn’t allowed so then we used the auction house. We wanted it gone fast so we didn’t have to pay rent.

[Tybee]

Your mom sounds very wise, TT!

[Teacher Terry]

She was definitely a realist:))

[Tybee]

Tybee, this is a very emotional time for you and your efforts. What would you ask your kids to do with everything that you are now dealing with - if you were no longer able to do it?

There is no right way, it seems, as these challenges are very individual to experience.

Razz, I think I missed your point before. I reread your post and now I think I get what you are saying--"what would you ask your kids to do with everything that you are dealing with" as in now, I am making the decision for them, in 20-30 years, as to these object of their grandparents and by extension, great-grandparents.

Like taking a longer perspective.

Thanks, I think get what you are saying now.

Hmm. Got to rethink this, about some of this stuff.

[razz]

Razz, I think I missed your point before. I reread your post and now I think I get what you are saying--"what would you ask your kids to do with everything that you are dealing with" as in now, I am making the decision for them, in 20-30 years, as to these object of their grandparents and by extension, great-grandparents.

Like taking a longer perspective.

Thanks, I think get what you are saying now.

Hmm. Got to rethink this, about some of this stuff.

You got it!!!

[pinkytoe]

I never thought she would be interested...but sent DD a scanned photo of her great-grandfather roping cattle on his ranch circa 1917. She wanted to know all about their lives back then so maybe interest kindles after the next generation get a little older.

[catherine]

I never thought she would be interested...but sent DD a scanned photo of her great-grandfather roping cattle on his ranch circa 1917. She wanted to know all about their lives back then so maybe interest kindles after the next generation get a little older.

Yes.. you never know when it will ignite, which is why my philosophy is to wait on things like pictures and documents. I have one son who always responds when I send stuff to the family about our ancestors--but he's the one with a Masters in American history. The other kids are very take-it-or-leave it. But once you destroy these artifacts, they're gone forever. It does take time for the importance of our people and our places to rise up.

[razz]

A question. Do your local museums have genealogy sections where artifacts can be donated and preserved. I donated a dirndl dress, Bavarian traditional dress, to a local museum who asked me about the history of the owner and how/why it came to the museum. This is then available for future generations to research.
This item in particular joined a large collection of a similar nature which show the flow and heritage of immigrants to the area.

[iris lilies]

Yes.. you never know when it will ignite, which is why my philosophy is to wait on things like pictures and documents. I have one son who always responds when I send stuff to the family about our ancestors--but he's the one with a Masters in American history. The other kids are very take-it-or-leave it. But once you destroy these artifacts, they're gone forever. It does take time for the importance of our people and our places to rise up.

once the oldest generation dies off in our lives suddenly we get a sense of mortality and also get a sense of all the knowledge that left with them.

I wasn’t interested in family history stuff until I was in my 40s. Having been surrounded by genealogists who babble their boring family histories at me in libraries for decades, I just wanted to stay away from it all. But I AM drawn to reading a simple executive summary to both sides of my family, that would be good enough. If only someone would write that!;)


I am forever grateful to those who worked one side of my family and put up a key genealogical document from my great great grandfather. In it he outlines his own parentage tracing back to the small village in Germany where they came from. It’s out there on the web should I ever wanna find it again. Also someone put up a photograph of my great great grandfather in his Civil War outfit. I appreciate that as well.

I was also in my 40s before I liked my great aunts engagement ring from 1918. It is big and gaudy. She had some money. It really wasn’t my style until I hit my 40s, and now I like it and wear it often. It’s also practical to wear in ways that my modern jewelry is not.

[iris lilies]

Also, the dna stuff can be weird. One of my little cousins, a cousin who is in my own cousin “In” group, was actually a step cousin though there were rumors otherwise. Well, this year she had her DNA tested and to no surprise to anyone really, she is our blood cousin.She is not sharing that news outside of a small group.

[catherine]

once the oldest generation dies off in our lives suddenly we get a sense of mortality and also get a sense of all the knowledge that left with them.

I wasn’t interested in family history stuff until I was in my 40s. Having been surrounded by genealogists who babble their boring family histories at me in libraries for decades, I just wanted to stay away from it all. But I AM drawn to reading a simple executive summary to both sides of my family, that would be good enough. If only someone would write that!;)


I am forever grateful to those who worked one side of my family and put up a key genealogical document from my great great grandfather. In it he outlines his own parentage tracing back to the small village in Germany where they came from. It’s out there on the web should I ever wanna find it again. Also someone put up a photograph of my great great grandfather in his Civil War outfit. I appreciate that as well.

I was also in my 40s before I liked my great aunts engagement ring from 1918. It is big and gaudy. She had some money. It really wasn’t my style until I hit my 40s, and now I like it and wear it often. It’s also practical to wear in ways that my modern jewelry is not.

Two points:

I am on ancestry.com and I really have gotten a lot from it. But too often the data is so bland. A gravestone here, a census there. I've rarely uncovered a story, or any insight into who my ancestors really were.

Also, as some of you know, my great-aunt was hugely influential in my life. She gave me a simple, wonderful, peaceful life every summer. I have actually LOST SLEEP because of the burden of being her sole memory-keeper. She had one child who died at 3 years old. No one else survives. Once I'm dead, no one will be here to testify to her grace, beauty, and love. That makes me not just sad, but desperate. The only thing I can do is to preserve the pictures and connect them with the stories.

So, I think your "executive summary" idea is a great one, Tybee!! Write what you can.

[Tybee]

Two points:

I am on ancestry.com and I really have gotten a lot from it. But too often the data is so bland. A gravestone here, a census there. I've rarely uncovered a story, or any insight into who my ancestors really were.

Also, as some of you know, my great-aunt was hugely influential in my life. She gave me a simple, wonderful, peaceful life every summer. I have actually LOST SLEEP because of the burden of being her sole memory-keeper. She had one child who died at 3 years old. No one else survives. Once I'm dead, no one will be here to testify to her grace, beauty, and love. That makes me not just sad, but desperate. The only thing I can do is to preserve the pictures and connect them with the stories.

So, I think your "executive summary" idea is a great one, Tybee!! Write what you can.

I can't take credit for that idea--that is IL--but it sure is a good one!

I hear you about your beloved great-aunt, Catherine. This is part of the rationale behind the photo albums, that someday I can sit with my grandchildren and tell them stories, the way my grandmother did with me. I still remember the things she told me about family genealogy, and lo and behold, all these years later, Ancestry DNA is proving all the things she told me back in 1965. So yeah, you can't really know how your grandchildren will look at things and what will be important to them.

And of course when I am gone, they can pitch the albums if they want, it's not my responsibility anymore.

I like the museum idea, and there is a museum for the Army AirForce that we might donate some things to, letters from WWII.

[ApatheticNoMore]

Also, as some of you know, my great-aunt was hugely influential in my life. She gave me a simple, wonderful, peaceful life every summer. I have actually LOST SLEEP because of the burden of being her sole memory-keeper. She had one child who died at 3 years old. No one else survives. Once I'm dead, no one will be here to testify to her grace, beauty, and love. That makes me not just sad, but desperate. The only thing I can do is to preserve the pictures and connect them with the stories.

she may have very well accepted this while she lived anyway though, obviously I don't know her. If I'm forgotten after I'm dead pfft, so is everyone pretty much, doesn't mean I want to die prematurely or anything but after I'm dead, shrug, everyone is pretty much forgotten. At some level I don't want to leave much of a legacy, if I was going to anyway, who knows how that legacy will be used long after one is gone anyway afterall. Yea if I was an artist or something I'd destroy the paintings before death or something :)

[iris lilies]

Well about photos in boxes: my vision of that is they are in photo boxes and they are organized, probably chronologically within family or family unit or family line. I mean there is some kind of organizational principal going on there, it’s not just random crap thrown around boxes like we all inherent from our parents. The photo boxes I have in mind hold photos that sit on edge and you can flip through them like files in a file cabinet, with index markers for years.


But I just want to emphasize because I’m single minded about it,: there really is little value in saving photographs for the next generations if you do not write down who is in the photograph And the approximate time it was taken,. If you can add other context such as “This was Eli’s 42nd birthday celebration” or “uncle Jim traveled from Kansas and it’s the only time we saw him over 20 years” or “aunt Susie died the next day— What a blessing we were all together! “ that is fabulous!


See? I can make up this stuff all day!


I’m still mad at my mother for writing on the back of a photograph of one of the ancient relatives “she was very old in this picture but this is the only picture we have of her. “


Hey mom, who is “she? “. Maybe I can figure out maybe I can’t but I’d really rather not guess. I’m guessing from the nose on this woman that she’s from my grandfather’s side of the family, they had nice schnauzes.

[sweetana3]

IL, we have a classic photo of two barefooted guys in overalls, no shirts, standing in front of an ancient truck holding a baby. No one knows who they are or wants to claim them. Boy I could make up some stories. A whole box of useless unidentified photos that we are getting rid of.

There are no grandkids, nieces or nephews on either side of our family. We are the end and the stuff will end with us unless we put it on something like Ancestry for others use.

[Tybee]

Today I sent boxes to two family members, as I went through an under the bed plastic box and kept five pieces of paper, sent the rest to other family members, and burned some scrap paper that my family had retained for 105 years. Seriously, old blank ledger paper.