View Full Version : Sleeping apart
I get up early - 5:00 am on weekdays. My dw is retired, a night owl. Often falls asleep on the couch. Before when she would finally come to bed - any time after
1:00 am, no matter how quiet she tries to be, she wakes me up. She comes to bed, then quickly falls into a deep sleep and begins to snore.
I try to go back to sleep, but end up heading to the couch and fall back to sleep. When we changed the house around, moved the computer desk into the spare bedroom, took down the bunk beds, put in a twin, I moved to the twin bed when I woke up.
I try to be in bed, by 10:00 pm, but even that gives me only 7 hours of sleep. I try to tell her it is all about sleep. I would be happy to start getting her up at
5:00 and see what she thinks of that! Now I just go to bed in the computer room. I can have the room as cool as I want, I can get it almost completely dark and I sleep good - really good.
Any others that sleep in separate rooms?
I’m all for comfort and good rest. All the research is behind sleeping separately.
We share a big bed but our sleep patterns are very different. Wouldn’t bother me at all to have separate sleep rooms. But he likes to be near me. I’m the heavy sleeper so not a problem for me.
Teacher Terry
5-18-20, 9:04pm
We have a king size bed and because it’s a sleep number you can’t feel someone get in and out.
Any others that sleep in separate rooms?
Yes, for many years my wife would move to the spare bedroom in the middle of the night due to my snoring. Several years ago I solved the problem by moving into the other room. I like to read in bed and she likes to watch tv before falling asleep, now we can do as we like without bothering the other.
Of course, we've both granted the other visitation rights whenever the mood strikes.
When we were both working, we slept in separate bedrooms most of the time so that we both got our sleep. Now that we are retired, we are back in one bed. I wear ear plugs to drown out the snoring and on very rare occasion move to another bedroom if he gets too noisy.
We've slept in different rooms on weeknights for years. After my cat passed away in November I even started closing the door since SO always gets up before me. His showering, dressing, etc would wake me up since the bathroom is between the two bedrooms. (closing the door wasn't an option before because cat wanted to be with me but also wanted to be able to get a snack in the middle of the night).
I sleep alone in my nice Cal-King bed here in the San Juans in Washington.
My now-ex-wife sleeps with her cousin Bob, that she left me for, in Michigan, in a Queen bed. She started this practice well before we divorced, apparently.
rosarugosa
5-19-20, 5:59am
We only have one bed and one bedroom, so we have to make it work. A few months ago, DH started snoring very loudly. He started using those nasal strips and they have worked like a charm, and he says they help him breathe better so he is sleeping better too.
We only have one bed and one bedroom, so we have to make it work. A few months ago, DH started snoring very loudly. He started using those nasal strips and they have worked like a charm, and he says they help him breathe better so he is sleeping better too.
rosa, has he had a sleep study? My DH wears a C-pap and it has made a WORLD of difference in his ability to sleep soundlessly, as well as mine! If he truly is snoring loudly it could be a sign of sleep apnea, which is a risk factor for heart disease.
As for our sleeping singly/apart, I have on occasion moved to another bed in the middle of the night, especially when we lived in NJ. I don't do it much now, because of his C-pap and also because my second bed is an uncomfortable futon, and I'd have to open it up, pull out the mattress topper, make the bed, etc and by that time I'd be fully awake.
I still enjoy sleeping in the same bed with him, although we also have very different sleep habits. He's the night owl--I'm the 10:00 retirer. But I understand why a lot of people as they get older prefer separate beds.
We have the sleep apnea issue at our house and DH wont complete the testing process because it was so badly handled by the only sleep study people here in our town.
It has forced us into two separate beds, not so much the snoring as the flailing limbs.
I am sick of him not getting the testing complete and not getting a cpap, but it's his body and his choice, so separate beds for now.
iris lilies
5-19-20, 8:25am
Yes, Sleep is very important to me so I sleep separately.
I've always slept alone. I was a lot of fun at slumber parties as a child--sleeping by myself in a corner. Later, I would wait until a lover nodded off, then sneak off to sleep on the couch, setting off more than one spirited discussion in the middle of the night. When trapped in bed with someone, I generally don't sleep. I was an only child for awhile, so maybe that's it. Or not. I'm a firm believer that everyone should have their own bed, their own room, their own bathroom, etc.
Geez, bae. Truth really is stranger than fiction.
we've had separate rooms for several years because of husband's snoring. Works for us.
Teacher Terry
5-19-20, 12:57pm
My cpap has changed our lives. I am no longer tired and my husband can sleep. Plus having untreated sleep apnea damages your organs. We only sleep apart if one of us is really sick.
rosa, has he had a sleep study? My DH wears a C-pap and it has made a WORLD of difference in his ability to sleep soundlessly, as well as mine! If he truly is snoring loudly it could be a sign of sleep apnea, which is a risk factor for heart disease.
As for our sleeping singly/apart, I have on occasion moved to another bed in the middle of the night, especially when we lived in NJ. I don't do it much now, because of his C-pap and also because my second bed is an uncomfortable futon, and I'd have to open it up, pull out the mattress topper, make the bed, etc and by that time I'd be fully awake.
I still enjoy sleeping in the same bed with him, although we also have very different sleep habits. He's the night owl--I'm the 10:00 retirer. But I understand why a lot of people as they get older prefer separate beds.
Hmmm.....catherine....maybe it's the other way around. Maybe all of us who use cpaps, really just need to try those nasal strips! Wouldn't that be interesting!?
It's hard to know if one's snoring actually leads to a drop in oxygen levels. Actually.....you can buy a finger recording oximeter and then use the software to see if your oxygen dropped during the night. If it doesn't.....then the snoring isn't really a problem.(except for the other person in the room).
It's also nice if you're sleeping with a snorer, to note if they stop breathing for awhile too......which is truly sleep apnea (actually, it could also "just" be hypopnea".
I don't blame anyone for not wanting to take the cpap test. I've had 2 and I don't want anymore. But....I think you can do them at home now.
rosa, has he had a sleep study? My DH wears a C-pap and it has made a WORLD of difference in his ability to sleep soundlessly, as well as mine! If he truly is snoring loudly it could be a sign of sleep apnea, which is a risk factor for heart disease.
As for our sleeping singly/apart, I have on occasion moved to another bed in the middle of the night, especially when we lived in NJ. I don't do it much now, because of his C-pap and also because my second bed is an uncomfortable futon, and I'd have to open it up, pull out the mattress topper, make the bed, etc and by that time I'd be fully awake.
I still enjoy sleeping in the same bed with him, although we also have very different sleep habits. He's the night owl--I'm the 10:00 retirer. But I understand why a lot of people as they get older prefer separate beds.
Hmmm.....catherine....maybe it's the other way around. Maybe all of us who use cpaps, really just need to try those nasal strips! Wouldn't that be interesting!?
It's hard to know if one's snoring actually leads to a drop in oxygen levels. Actually.....you can buy a finger recording oximeter and then use the software to see if your oxygen dropped during the night. If it doesn't.....then the snoring isn't really a problem.(except for the other person in the room).
It's also nice if you're sleeping with a snorer, to note if they stop breathing for awhile too......which is truly sleep apnea
I don't blame anyone for not wanting to take the cpap test. I've had 2 and I don't want anymore. But....I think you can do them at home now.
I insisted that a sleep study be done before SO and I moved in together. He had the "snorty, stop breathing for a couple of seconds" type snores that typify obstructive apnea. And he also was so sleep deprived that he would fall asleep on the couch if we were doing something quiet like watching a movie in the evening. He's used a cpap now for over 16 years and at this point couldn't imagine sleeping without it. But even without the snoring it's difficult for me to sleep well with him because every time he rolls over it's like we sleep on a trampoline since he's a heavyset guy.
I've had 2 and I don't want anymore. But....I think you can do them at home now.
Yes, they are all done at home now!! It's amazing. I do look forward to when we can maximize technology to enable information and data-generation. It's possible to do EKGs on your iPhone now. I can see exactly what my heart rate is during sleep, and my how much time I'm in Deep/REM sleep, etc.
Anyway, no one should put off sleep studies because they are inconvenient these days.
rosarugosa
5-19-20, 6:11pm
DH did have sleep studies done several years ago and he checked out OK. He lost some weight and we quit smoking 8 years ago and the snoring issue went away. It resurfaced a few months ago, and I didn't notice that he stopped breathing (I was wide awake and in a good position to observe, believe me) but it was like sleeping next to a freight train or something.
Teacher Terry
5-19-20, 6:31pm
I used to stop breathing. After losing 40lbs my apnea greatly improved but my oxygen drops without still.
That’s a great answer Bae. You made me laugh.
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