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View Full Version : What would you do: Wedding shower + COVID



catherine
7-16-20, 6:08pm
I think I mentioned in another thread that we are driving from VT to Maine to attend a family function hosted by my future SIL's parents. They are having a family games day that weekend and they thought they would take advantage of everyone being there to host a shower for my DD and her fiance. I am not inviting anyone from my side of the family--but I decided to do a Zoom event for my family to occur from the in-laws' house during part of the shower.

DH doesn't want to go. He doesn't want to travel, doesn't want to hang out with his future in-laws' family, doesn't want to risk exposure to COVID. All of the attendees are fairly local: mostly Massachusetts. He's only going because our DD really wants SOMEONE from her side of the family to be there.

I haven't worried about the risk of exposure to COVID because I thought it was going to be a relatively small gathering, but when I asked J's mother what the count is, she said 30, not including DH, me, & DD. That's kind of a lot. Now I'm slightly concerned--DH is a heavy smoker, has chronic health issues, is overweight and over 65.

Should I encourage him to stay home?? DD would be very disappointed--as I said, he's often the life of the party and she sure can't count on ME for that--but I truly want to do the most prudent thing.

This family seems to be very safe and reasonable. But if it rains, we'll be forced to go inside--social distancing will be very difficult if not impossible.

I don't know what to do... what would you do?

KayLR
7-16-20, 6:16pm
I'd stay home, but I don't live in that area. What are the risks like up there? We're still upticking.

My hubs recently decided to stay home from a "celebration of life" for a family member who recently died. He just could not justify the risk, esp. having to be on a plane for 7 hr. Nobody blamed him at all.

pinkytoe
7-16-20, 6:22pm
It was not comfortable meeting with DD's in-laws/family in TX when we were there recently but we gave in to please SIL. We are healthy but still cautious. We couldn't hug or sit together inside so everyone felt weird I think. I wouldn't force the issue if your DH is not comfortable going especially if there are health issues...certainly most people now understand that those with underlying issues should not socialize with non-family groups if it can be avoided.

herbgeek
7-16-20, 6:24pm
Maine itself has low rates, but not Massachusetts so I would be concerned about having a lot of Mass attendees. If I was your husband, I likely wouldn't go or at best, have a place to retreat to if I felt unsafe (car, rented room that's been wiped down) to avoid any indoor time.

JaneV2.0
7-16-20, 6:33pm
It's been reported that many of the new COVID cases are the outcome of smallish social gatherings. I certainly wouldn't encourage anyone to go who had concerns. There was a report of a small social gathering here that resulted in all the attendees coming down with it. I absolutely wouldn't go; if I were somehow forced to, I would mask up and observe social distance, but I'd worry the whole time.

Tradd
7-16-20, 6:45pm
I’d not go at all and not force him to go.

It wasn’t that long ago that showers were for women only - with maybe the groom putting in a token appearance at the end.

Yppej
7-16-20, 6:57pm
I would not go. If something happens your daughter will never forgive herself.

Tybee
7-16-20, 7:27pm
I think given the way he feels, I would not urge him to go, and be at peace with his decision. It doesn't sound like he feels safe going, and it does sound like a pretty large gathering from Massachusetts, and not exactly just one other family in Maine. I also am not sure if I would go, given the fact that you can't afford to get sick, and possibly make him sick. But you also have an obligation to your daughter, too.

It's so hard. I think whatever you choose to do will be right for yourself, but I would not try to make that decision for him.

JaneV2.0
7-16-20, 7:34pm
If you feel you should go, you can quarantine yourself for a couple of weeks afterwards.

bae
7-16-20, 7:40pm
I would avoid the event. I think this sort of thing during the pandemic is foolishness.

Tammy
7-16-20, 7:42pm
I would not go. We are still increasing and have not peaked.

An old friend of ours died of covid. His widow had a regular visitation and funeral, everybody together for hours. This is not wise.

Tammy
7-16-20, 7:46pm
I’m home on day 7 with my covid experience. My husband is on day 6. I continue to watch for shortness of breath but we’re ok there. Other symptoms continue. I’m sleeping 15 or more hours a day. Body aches. Headaches. This is not to be taken lightly.

I’m well aware that we are now entering week 2, where some people go suddenly downhill. I have a packet of medical paperwork and insurance card for each of us on the counter, ready in case we would have to call 911.

In light of all this why would anyone go to a voluntary social gathering is beyond me.

Anne Lee
7-16-20, 8:35pm
Since you can't decide at the last minute to not attend due to bad weather, I would decline. Thirty is still a lot of people even in an outdoor setting. I doubt DH would be the life of the party if he's worried about C-19. These are the times we live in, I guess.

Geila
7-16-20, 9:00pm
I think it would be wise for you and DH to stay home since he is high risk. But what about asking if any of your kids want to go 'represent' and share the day with their sis/sis-in-law? Less risky for them, DD will have family there, and they would probably enjoy the gathering more. I always think it's awkward when family does bridal showers; it used to be something you did with your girlfriends and you could make jokes and embarrass the bride with skimpy lingerie gifts. If mom and grandma, and now dad and grandpa are sitting there, it's so different. You guys can always hold an event later when things are safer and throw them a good party.

sweetana3
7-17-20, 5:54am
This is our new normal. If you expect their marriage to be a life long event, I would not put health at risk for a social event with unknown people in an unknown location (the possibility it could be inside) with unknown health status.

Explain you are basing your decision on your husband's health, the difficulty and danger of traveling right now, and want you all to be there to celebrate other important occasions of her life.

rosarugosa
7-17-20, 6:26am
I'm with those who think that neither of you should go. Thirty people is a lot, and any risk you take on personally you are also taking on for DH since you live together in a small home.

JaneV2.0
7-17-20, 9:21am
Maybe some of the attendees can appear via Zoom or something to pay their respects?
Like others, I really can't imagine why people would risk disability or death for social gatherings.

Tybee
7-17-20, 10:00am
Maybe some of the attendees can appear via Zoom or something to pay their respects?
Like others, I really can't imagine why people would risk disability or death for social gatherings.

I think of this as more of a life event than a social gathering, but I can certainly see why you would say that. I would definitely put the wedding in the life event category; shower is a little blurrier, but yes, those are both social gatherings, but to me something like a wedding or a funeral if a life event rather than a social gathering or a party.

catherine
7-17-20, 10:08am
I think of this as more of a life event than a social gathering, but I can certainly see why you would say that. I would definitely put the wedding in the life event category; shower is a little blurrier, but yes, those are both social gatherings, but to me something like a wedding or a funeral if a life event rather than a social gathering or a party.

I agree. I hate to have my DD fly solo on this. Jane, I in addition to the 30 people my in-laws invited from their side to be there in person, I have invited 20 people from both sides to be on Zoom, so we are definitely doing the Zoom thing. This shower was tacked on to a family event they had already planned, so it's not like all those people traveled just for the shower.

Geila, I like the idea of a family stand-in! But it's a hard ask because one of my kids has to work and the two others have families, and it's a long drive for both of them (4-5 hours). So, I feel I am actively going to give DH permission not to attend. I think I still might go, but I'll wear a mask the whole time and stay outside. I'm hoping we can do the Zoom outside, too. If it rains heavily, I'll leave. I do not want to bring anything home (besides cake :).

Thank you for your opinions--I have taken them all into account.

razz
7-17-20, 10:10am
I would avoid the event. I think this sort of thing during the pandemic is foolishness.

This gathering is being done for the benefit and the convenience of others, at the risk of any/all attending not being able to attend your daughter's wedding. I am having a hard time understanding that this is beneficial in any way to you, your DH or your daughter. I don't understand your daughter's thinking that her dad's safety is not the priority to ensure his presence at her wedding over an event held elsewhere.

catherine
7-17-20, 10:29am
This gathering is being done for the benefit and the convenience of others, at the risk of any/all attending not being able to attend your daughter's wedding. I am having a hard time understanding that this is beneficial in any way to you, your DH or your daughter. I don't understand your daughter's thinking that her dad's safety is not the priority to ensure his presence at her wedding over an event held elsewhere.

It's not that she is putting her interests before her father's health--I'm sure she wouldn't do that, even if his absence causes her disappointment. It's just that we have been doing well COVID-wise up here in the Northeast. Vermont, Maine and Massachusetts have all been singled out as having successful re-openings. Our counts are VERY low and are not contributing to this awful upsurge in cases and deaths. If I were to explain to her that the number of people at the shower, coupled with a general reversal of the flattening has me worried about her dad's risks, I know she would fully understand.

Teacher Terry
7-17-20, 11:59am
I would definitely not go with that many people. My friend didn’t have a funeral for her husband that recently died because of the virus.

SteveinMN
7-17-20, 11:34pm
In this state right now we could not gather that many people in someone's backyard, even outside. And i wonder how much DH would be "the life of the party" if his mind were constantly on avoiding exposure from 30 other people. It would be a tough call, but I can understand his not wanting to go. That's a lot of potential exposure, and I don't think it will take much to turn the statistics around. Maybe he could "Zoom" in at a specified time to join in some of the festivities?

catherine
7-18-20, 8:00am
Well, yesterday morning after he awoke I said to him, "Listen, I've thought about it, and I really don't want you to go to the shower." And without waiting a nanosecond he said. "OK." No, "Oh, well, if you really think so" or "Aw, gee, I kind of wanted to go, but maybe you're right, honey."

Just "ok." I know his insides were jumping for joy.

Now to tell DD...

iris lilies
7-18-20, 8:55am
I am glad your DH is being cautious! For such a social guy, it must be hard to resist this party. Also with you guys where you are and not seeing the Dailey evidence of Infected people, the virus is a little abstract. But it is real.

Tybee
7-18-20, 10:50am
Well, yesterday morning after he awoke I said to him, "Listen, I've thought about it, and I really don't want you to go to the shower." And without waiting a nanosecond he said. "OK." No, "Oh, well, if you really think so" or "Aw, gee, I kind of wanted to go, but maybe you're right, honey."

Just "ok." I know his insides were jumping for joy.

Now to tell DD...

This is really good news! Can't he just call her up and tell her that he (or you both) have decided it's too risky?

catherine
7-18-20, 12:03pm
This is really good news! Can't he just call her up and tell her that he (or you both) have decided it's too risky?

I called her this morning and told her... not only was she not disappointed, she was relieved, and she told me that if I don't want to come, she totally understands. She admitted that she's even not that comfortable being with 30 people from all over the place.

I am 80% still going.. I had promised them favors, a Zoom coordinator, wine, cake and snacks. I've already paid for the favors and the cake. I'll stay outdoors and wear a mask, and I won't stay long.

SteveinMN
7-18-20, 12:06pm
"When a brave man takes a stand, the spines of others are often stiffened." (Billy Graham)

Maybe this will have the effect of changing DD's approach to the event.

JaneV2.0
7-18-20, 1:06pm
I called her this morning and told her... not only was she not disappointed, she was relieved, and she told me that if I don't want to come, she totally understands. She admitted that she's even not that comfortable being with 30 people from all over the place.

I am 80% still going.. I had promised them favors, a Zoom coordinator, wine, cake and snacks. I've already paid for the favors and the cake. I'll stay outdoors and wear a mask, and I won't stay long.

I would still consider quarantining.

ApatheticNoMore
7-18-20, 1:20pm
I wouldn't go.


In this state right now we could not gather that many people in someone's backyard, even outside.

well rules here are not to see any other person you don't live for social purposes ever, not even in a backyard outside at a distance etc.. 4 months of this now. But they opened up bars and restaurants for awhile and didn't even regulate that they were following covid safety rules at restaurants. They understood the need for economics because it's tax revenue, but humans being with each other doesn't involve money so outlaw it. For a while there it was almost the case that everything that makes money was allowed, everything that doesn't is illegal. A perfectly capitalist dystopia.

Few are probably following the rules, when the rules are never socialize with anyone ever for who knows how long what do they even expect. People might endure a lot of hardship for a real plan but they don't have one. They nag us a lot. But they don't give any guidance for risk minimization and not everyone is some perfectly informed well read educated person who can take their best shot absent any recommendations. Cases go up and up. They take no responsibility but blame the people. One would like to think, well the nagging must be based on contract tracing at least. But there is only minimal contract tracing going on, and the state won't give epidemiologists (at universities like UC schools etc.) the data. So any information we have on why people are getting sick isn't likely to be local.

JaneV2.0
7-18-20, 1:48pm
The lack of testing supplies is criminal. Add that to inconsistent testing and contact tracing, and it's a recipe for disaster. People are still waiting in long, long lines to get tested. The nation has failed, and failed badly, to meet this crisis.

Tybee
7-18-20, 2:30pm
I think you have a solid plan if you go. I would not project anything onto your daughter. Nearer the date see what your heart and mind tell you to do but take all guilt and projection of feelings out of it.

Paige
7-19-20, 7:11pm
I agree with BAE. No one should go. I have socially distanced with 4 of us total, outside, and honestly, even that is hard. 30, 40 people? That is a ticket to a respirator. You have no idea who has it, who spreads it, and what if you go and then are a carrier and give it to your husband? Stay home and send a gift and a card. That is super irresponsible and selfish to even have the party during a pandemic. Sorry to be so harsh, but the experts are saying this will be endemic in our society if we can't get rid of it like most other countries already have.

ApatheticNoMore
7-20-20, 2:40am
4 total is the max I've done (and one is my bf whose risk I have anyway for better or worse and all that) distanced outside etc..

saguaro
7-20-20, 11:19am
DH and I have not gone to any family events and there have been a couple that we know of. We won't even see his parents because it involves a lot of trust that they will A) take precautions like social distancing, masks etc. when we see them and B) if they have been taking those same precautions all along with others prior. We just don't know if they have. Multiply that by 30 people, it just seems very risky.

iris lilies
7-20-20, 12:03pm
Every year my neighborhood hostS a major bike race on Labor Day weekend. The bikers go round and round our park. It is a big popular event with crowds, outdoor food vendors, skinny bicyclistS in their little tight spandex shorts which is nice for ladies who like that bicyclist build which I dont, Too skinny. But that is off-topic…

Anyways – the bicycle race organizers have asked our neighborhood for support to get a permit. After a lot of discussion on the board where I originally said no, I resigningly voted to not oppose the permit. My thinking was, fine, let these ind athletes and attendees make up their own mind on attending. Course I won’t go. I haven’t gone for the past several years because I got tired of their self entitled shit. Believe me I worked that event for many years.

But I hope that the city health department shut ps it down and does not grant a permit. Even though the organizer says they’re going to spread out registration booths, take temperatures of all bikers and volunteers, and blah blah blah, it’s still stupid. A physician in our neighborhood reminded all that the bicyclists ride together in a clump, there’s no 6 foot distancing and they sure won’t be wearing masks. It’s very stupid. She is very unhappy that this is even being proposed.

Again, you won’t catch me at this event. It is ridiculous that they are proposing it. Our state is doing OK when compared to other states although certainly the virus is rampant here. It’s hard for me to understand what part of “this race is a ridiculous idea “the organizers don’t understand. I think mostly the fact they’re all young athletes is the driver.

Teacher Terry
7-20-20, 12:27pm
All our events have been cancelled. If fact you can’t gather in a group bigger than 10.

danna
7-20-20, 1:51pm
For the first time since Mar 13 I met up with some people early July.
Up till I had barely left the house (3 living under one roof)
At that time in Ontario it was no more then 10 could meet.
We were 10 with our own chairs, water, no food. We sat around a large
circle 6 feet apart in a giant park.
It was surprising how people started to inch into to be closer to hear
and I think feel like you needed to be closer. It was really surprising
to see how much room it took for 10 people to sit six feet apart.
I still did not feel right and was glad to go home.
And, now because we are supposedly doing so well they have
moved up to 50 to 100 can meet.
What size backyard much less room would you need to
socially distance with that many people?

And, yes I know for a fact of 2 cases of people planning
BYOB, Kids are welcome, swimming, supper served at 5:00,
we can have up to 100 at any one time. All to happen in a very
average suburban yard with pool. Oh, and added on
in small print we will have sanitizer and masks available.

All this will come back to bite us!
We are suppose to be back out so people can get back to work.
That and the economy should matter more then social.
Sorry for the rant.

ApatheticNoMore
7-20-20, 2:08pm
Yes I've experienced that people wanting to move closer and closer. Extroverts, they will kill us all. >8) And I've expressed in no uncertain terms, this is Not OK.

I literally think all gatherings are still banned, and they want people to have no human contact for a year or something. I don't think this abstinence only education is working judging how cases are increasing and it's not like there aren't parties going on. Of course since there's little contract tracing noone really knows where our cases here are really coming from.

JaneV2.0
7-20-20, 2:39pm
And then there are the brave infected patriots who refuse to divulge their contacts. :doh:

sweetana3
7-20-20, 2:39pm
A smaller city about 40 minutes north of us is having a convention, shop hop, in a convention center this Friday. They expect from 400-900 people to attend and shop at what is now down to 18 booths. NO MASKS are required. Our state does not mandate masks although my city does.

So indoor, crowded, no ability to social distance, and so on. I let all our guilds know about the no masks so anyone who cared would not make the trip to then have to come home. Even if only 50-100 attended, they are all going to be trying to look in the same 18 booths.

I think this is almost criminal.

Tybee
7-20-20, 4:53pm
My heart goes out to your daughter, Catherine. I'm cheering for her from the sidelines.
Did you see that Princess Beatrice restyled a dress of her grandmother's from a 1962 premiere of Lawrence of Arabia? Make sure she sees that--it is so cool!

happystuff
7-20-20, 6:10pm
Congrats to your dd on the engagement, etc.

As for large gatherings - any large gatherings, If other people aren't going to step up to keep themselves and you safe, take your own steps... don't go.

Yppej
7-20-20, 6:55pm
Remember years ago when people thought child molesters were strangers in trench coats giving kids candy? It turned out almost everyone was victimized by someone they knew.

I am seeing something similar with covid. I have a coworker who is very critical of anyone she might pass by for a split second in a store who does not wear a mask, yet she goes to big family parties of 30 people or so, hugs people there outside her household, etc. She also does not socially distance from any of the 45 employees in the office, with neither them nor her wearing masks when they talk about 1 foot apart because "it's the same people we're around every day". When I have suggested six feet she has snapped at me.

IMO it is the people you are around all the time who present the greatest danger. You are also exposed to the germs of everyone they are around and so on in a big web. It's like the saying when you sleep with someone you are sleeping with everyone they sleep with, and all the people those people sleep with etc.

So no I do not think these family gatherings are safe, and if she gets sick after the next one my coworker has planned for August 1st I will not feel sorry for her. I just hope she doesn't take down the rest of us at work in a covid outbreak.

Tybee
7-20-20, 7:06pm
Here is the original gown:


https://i2.wp.com/metro.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/PRI_158559935.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&zoom=1&resize=644%2C670&ssl=1

Tybee
7-20-20, 7:08pm
Here is the restyled dress, next to her mother's
https://imagesvc.meredithcorp.io/v3/mm/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fstatic.onecms.io%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2Fsites%2F20%2F2020%2F07%2F18%2F beatrice.jpg


I'm not sure what I think about the sleeves but I like the bands.

iris lilies
7-20-20, 7:13pm
...

All this will come back to bite us!
We are suppose to be back out so people can get back to work.
That and the economy should matter more then social.
Sorry for the rant.
Yes, agreed.


The workaday world is one thing.


Big casual parties a whole Nother thing.

iris lilies
7-20-20, 7:16pm
Agree about Beatrice’s dress! It’s a great fabric and that ornament is wonderful, worth preserving. But the top treatment is weird. Why the puff sleeves? The simple straps would’ve been just fine. The trend of strapless is on the downhill anyway.

He supposedly added fabric at the bottom for that big wide hem? I think it looks fine.

Tybee
7-20-20, 7:34pm
Yes, it was the puffiness of the sleeves that I questioned. I thought the satin at the hem worked. The detail on the side of the sleeves was nice.

Tradd
7-20-20, 7:34pm
Agree about Beatrice’s dress! It’s a great fabric and that ornament is wonderful, worth preserving. But the top treatment is weird. Why the puff sleeves? The simple straps would’ve been just fine. The trend of strapless is on the downhill anyway.

He supposedly added fabric at the bottom for that big wide hem? I think it looks fine.

Royal brides have to be somewhat modest in church. That's why no spaghetti straps. The fabric at the bottom had to be added due to Beatrice's height.

catherine
7-21-20, 7:37am
Thanks for the wedding dress ideas! Tybee, you are on the same page with DD!! She's just sent me this morning vintage lace from Etsy. As for the puffy sleeves, this is one of my favorite inspirations she's pulled (we would make the bodice slightly more modest):


3339

Tradd
7-21-20, 7:46am
I like that one!

Tybee
7-21-20, 8:25am
I like that one!

I do, too. The sleeve on the one she sent you is much better than the one on Bea's dress, I think--it's not as puffed at the top but it's still a mildly puffed sleeve, very pretty line to it.

saguaro
7-21-20, 9:59am
Royal brides have to be somewhat modest in church. That's why no spaghetti straps. The fabric at the bottom had to be added due to Beatrice's height.

In one of the official photos showing the couple with her grandparents, you can see the difference in height between Beatrice and the Queen. So the dress had to be lengthened with additional fabric. Probably difficult to match the fabric given the age of the dress so go with a contrast.

Regarding the sheer sleeves, my guess that was the best way to meet the modesty requirements and still show the original strap design. I wonder if the dress will be "remodeled" back to it's original design.

iris lilies
7-21-20, 10:34am
I do, too. The sleeve on the one she sent you is much better than the one on Bea's dress, I think--it's not as puffed at the top but it's still a mildly puffed sleeve, very pretty line to it.
Yeah I would call the sleeves “gathered “rather than “puffed “sleeves..


It is hard for me to accept puffed sleeves on anyone over the age of 10.

saguaro
7-21-20, 11:12am
Yeah I would call the sleeves “gathered “rather than “puffed “sleeves..


It is hard for me to accept puffed sleeves on anyone over the age of 10.

When I made my sister's wedding gown, the sheer sleeves were gathered but not puffy.

Now if you want puffy, remember 1980's wedding gowns? Actually, the sleeves on most of them were beyond puffy. I felt like a linebacker trying on some of those gowns. I ended up making my own dress with sleeves that were definitely "not puffy".

catherine
7-21-20, 11:29am
When I made my sister's wedding gown, the sheer sleeves were gathered but not puffy.

Now if you want puffy, remember 1980's wedding gowns? Actually, the sleeves on most of them were beyond puffy. I felt like a linebacker trying on some of those gowns. I ended up making my own dress with sleeves that were definitely "not puffy".

Well, if you want over-the-top puffy sleeves, there's always the royal fashion icon of the century to emulate:

3340

saguaro
7-21-20, 11:39am
Well, if you want over-the-top puffy sleeves, there's always the royal fashion icon of the century to emulate:

That was beyond puffy. Oddly enough I liked it but I was surprised Diana wore that style, knowing how tall she was (5'10"). I am 5'8" and found that style way too much. I joked at the bridal salon that I should carry a football instead of a bouquet.

JaneV2.0
7-21-20, 11:40am
Yeah I would call the sleeves “gathered “rather than “puffed “sleeves..


It is hard for me to accept puffed sleeves on anyone over the age of 10.

Amen. And that's stretching it.
The dress is pretty, and timeless.

razz
7-21-20, 2:14pm
Remind me again please if it will be an indoor wedding or garden setting. Either way, that dress design is lovely, simple but elegant

Teacher Terry
7-21-20, 2:23pm
Love the dress!!

San Onofre Guy
7-25-20, 3:45pm
Similar to the topic of this thread, next week I drive from California to Colorado for son’s wedding. We tried to have him get married then have a party next year, but this type of event with masks and social distancing is allowed there. My wife age 65 is not going, too much of a risk to her fragile respiratory system. I plan on a quarantine return trip taking four to five days on back roads for a trip that is otherwise 15 hours of driving.

catherine
7-25-20, 4:20pm
Similar to the topic of this thread, next week I drive from California to Colorado for son’s wedding. We tried to have him get married then have a party next year, but this type of event with masks and social distancing is allowed there. My wife age 65 is not going, too much of a risk to her fragile respiratory system. I plan on a quarantine return trip taking four to five days on back roads for a trip that is otherwise 15 hours of driving.

Wow..well I hope you like road trips! Such a shame your wife can't go, but I totally think she's doing the right thing--just as my DH did the right thing by not going to the shower.

Update on my end: I did go to the shower. There were about 30 people there, none of them seemed to care much about social distancing. I will admit that I don't think I should have gone. It was risky. I'm home now but I'm still on pins and needles and will be until 14 days has passed (I'm on Day 6 now). I've been disinfecting, trying to keep socially distant and we haven't been sleeping in the same bed. I take my temperature and his every day. Frankly, I think all of these half-a$$ed efforts are just to make me feel less guilty. I don't think that if I AM a carrier, any of this will prevent him from getting it.

As for the wedding, I've heard concerns from two sons regarding going to her very small wedding ceremony that will take place in September. They both have wives and 2 children each. They've said that their wives and kids might not go. I completely understand, but I feel so bad for my daughter. I wish, frankly, she'd delay the whole wedding until next year. Either that or sneak out in the middle of the night and text us in the morning to tell us that they'd eloped.

I wish you a great time at your son's wedding, San Onofre Guy

Tammy
7-25-20, 4:47pm
I wish people getting married this summer would just embrace the concept of a zoom wedding. Don’t even invite people to a face to face event. Use all of your powers of the imagination to have the most excellent virtual wedding. Take it on as a challenge, the way they do with all the details of in person weddings in the past.

Teacher Terry
7-25-20, 6:56pm
I know a few people that postponed their weddings until next year and went to the courthouse and did it. As they have the dress and their hearts set on a wedding they will eventually do it.

San Onofre Guy
7-25-20, 7:54pm
I do like road trips. Many round trip New Jersey to Maine when I was first out of school (I grew up in Maine), twice trips Maine to California one way, four round trips to Denver from California, many round trips to Mammoth to ski each winter for. About ten years in the 90’s 350 miles each way.

i like the open road

JaneV2.0
7-26-20, 9:48am
I wish people getting married this summer would just embrace the concept of a zoom wedding. Don’t even invite people to a face to face event. Use all of your powers of the imagination to have the most excellent virtual wedding. Take it on as a challenge, the way they do with all the details of in person weddings in the past.

Yes, and that would make a good story to tell the family years later. This thing is annoying and scary, but it's not forever.

razz
8-13-20, 5:33pm
So, how is the dress coming along? Are you both feeling more comfortable about the fabric etc., Cath? We need an update on 'our involvement' ;) with the wedding preparations

catherine
8-13-20, 6:24pm
So, how is the dress coming along? Are you both feeling more comfortable about the fabric etc., Cath? We need an update on 'our involvement' ;) with the wedding preparations

Thanks for asking! Well, we had our first session on Saturday. I was getting too far into my head and doing my Paralysis by Analysis schtick by getting books on couture and googling everything, but then my DD said she was coming up and we were going to start on the muslin, and so we did it! I draped, pinned, cut and basted the bodice and the sleeves, and then fitted it--and guess what? It fit! (for the most part.. I do need to make a couple of minor adjustments).

The funny thing about the experience was the whole "muscle memory" thing. I've always worked with patterns, never MADE a pattern. So it came time to cut a sleeve. They're tricky because you have to make the top of it larger so you can ease it into the armhole. I had no idea how to do it without a pattern, but then I just said to myself, To hell with it! Just draw it and cut it! I did it and it fit perfectly!!

So now, we still have to decide on lace (she bought some but doesn't really like it IRL). And I told her about saguaro's advice to do crepe de chine rather than silk organza so we're ordering samples of that.

So far so good. Yes there is only 5 weeks left, but if I can make 4 Halloween costumes on October 30 for my 4 kids, I can get this done!

Tradd
8-13-20, 6:39pm
Thanks for asking! Well, we had our first session on Saturday. I was getting too far into my head and doing my Paralysis by Analysis schtick by getting books on couture and googling everything, but then my DD said she was coming up and we were going to start on the muslin, and so we did it! I draped, pinned, cut and basted the bodice and the sleeves, and then fitted it--and guess what? It fit! (for the most part.. I do need to make a couple of minor adjustments).

The funny thing about the experience was the whole "muscle memory" thing. I've always worked with patterns, never MADE a pattern. So it came time to cut a sleeve. They're tricky because you have to make the top of it larger so you can ease it into the armhole. I had no idea how to do it without a pattern, but then I just said to myself, To hell with it! Just draw it and cut it! I did it and it fit perfectly!!

So now, we still have to decide on lace (she bought some but doesn't really like it IRL). And I told her about saguaro's advice to do crepe de chine rather than silk organza so we're ordering samples of that.

So far so good. Yes there is only 5 weeks left, but if I can make 4 Halloween costumes on October 30 for my 4 kids, I can get this done!

That sound FAB. And you know, we need pics! :D

Teacher Terry
8-13-20, 6:52pm
Pics definitely when it’s done.