Dilemma about journals

[Citygirl]

Hi, I'd just like some advice about journals if possible. Apologies in advance for the long post.

I’ve kept journals on and off since 1992. I threw out ten years worth of them in 2001 and regretted it and started it up again in 2002, then about five years ago I got paranoid about them but I had them scanned and destroyed the paper copies. I did start journaling again but only in cheap books or on loose paper and threw it away afterwards.

Then two years ago I decided to start a journal again, one I can keep without being paranoid about anyone seeing it or the contents upsetting me at a later date. That journal is almost complete after two years, whereas at one time I used to go through one journal in six months or less and accumulated a lot of books. In this journal, which is a midi size Paperblanks notebook, I do write what I feel and it’s not all positive, after all life isn’t all milk and honey and I feel that a journal needs to show reality but it’s not the pages of ranting and going into pinpoint detail like I did before, I don’t write anything that would offend someone if they read it and I also paste in photos and cinema tickets and things such as that so it’s good to look back on.

I also keep an appointment diary, a planner, I use it for up and coming appointments but I also write retrospectively in it and just write a quick snippet about what I do each day, this just gives a quick overall view of the year.

However, although I don’t feel the need to journal in the same way that I used to do years ago, when I have something I need to work out or I feel angry or upset, I still need that outlet yet I’m reluctant to write all this in my nice journal and I don’t find it the same journaling on the computer.

I have recently come across my old scanned journals on my hard drive and have decided to have them printed again but not in their full form. I would like to keep certain parts in print but the whole lot still on computer for privacy reasons. I am now in the process of doing that. So I am printing out one journal at a time (there are eight in all), reading through them and picking out the parts I want to keep. This I find both intriguing and depressing. Going back over the old feelings and rants is making it all come back again, which is why I feel all that information is too much for me, yet at the same time it gives me insight into how I’ve coped with things and reading this can help me cope with things in the future.

I do have something on my mind now and today I got a reporters notepad, sat in a café and wrote fourteen pages analysing and getting to the nitty gritty of my worries and I feel better for it. Entries such as this I don’t plan to keep. Once the pad is full I will throw it away. But I realise now I do need that release.

So my question is that. Part of me is tempted to go back to the type of journaling that I did before and just not worry about it being seen or it upsetting me if I reread it. Another part of me is thinking should I just get rid of any type of sparodic journaling that I do, including the nice journal with the photos, keep on journaling in cheaper books and throw it away afterwards and just keep my appointment diaries with the briefest of entries which will take up little space and be easy to look back on. Is keeping more than this, even the journal with the pictures, just duplication? What about the idea of editing my old journals, is there any point in doing this? I want to do it but am confused about the whole thing.

[catherine]

I am nearly a lifelong diarist. I started my diary in 1964 and have kept it continuously since then. I started writing in those black and white composition books and then I graduated to "pretty" journals, and then I went back to composition books, and then when the technology era began I switched over to computer journalling and have done that for about 20 years.

Just last October, while rushing to find something for a client, I inadvertently touched off a Mac upgrade that wiped out two years of my writing, which I was really upset about.

Like you, I use my journals as not only a personal history of my life but a place to vent and work things out. I have no intention of letting anyone read them... I do think that when I get around to it I'll pull out fun things the family would enjoy reading, but that accounts for very little of the 56 years of writings!

I now use a computer app called DayOne. It's really great. You can password protect it, you can add photos, but other than that, it's very basic. It has this neat tab feature--in the upper toolbar of the computer screen there's a little tab you can click on and immediately start typing--so that when you get those impulses to jot something down, it's a one-click operation.

I will probably get rid of most of my stuff, but I find that reading past entries really helps me adjust my perspective on a lot of things.

Here's the link to the app. I say keep writing!

https://dayoneapp.com

[Tammy]

I don’t keep anything like that. And I don’t journal. I spend time alone thinking, which I like better cause it remains totally private for all time.

[Yppej]

Do you ever plan to write an autobiography? If so I would keep the journals, otherwise not.

[Citygirl]

Thanks for your replies. I don't want to journal digitally. Yes I am writing my autobiography but don't need my journals for that.

When you say you wouldn't keep them do you mean all of the journals?

[Teacher Terry]

I have destroyed all of mine.

[Yppej]

Thanks for your replies. I don't want to journal digitally. Yes I am writing my autobiography but don't need my journals for that.

When you say you wouldn't keep them do you mean all of the journals?

I find I rarely go back and read things I've written before, and when I do they don't seem particularly relevant. I guess I am present and future focused.

[razz]

A Friend C who is now a grandmother was frustrated with her one daughter. C had had journals for years and recently started reading them. She was amazed at how much her perspective on her daughter changed for the better. This daughter had done some very supportive and caring efforts over the years that had been forgotten.

She also enjoyed reading of the adventures that she and her late DH had shared including substantial world travel. C really values her journals. One strong positive was she was feeling that she had not been a sufficiently involved grandmother but reading the journals reminded her of how much time she had spent with the different families helping out. The feelings of guilt disappeared and she was really pleased with her contribution.
Tried a diary once and my brother ridiculed what I had written after sneaking a look at my hidden diary and that cured me forever.

[bae]

I keep mine online, and don't suspect I'll ever share the password to them :-)

[happystuff]

I've had ceremonial burnings of my past journals. Now anything I write is on a more "creative" bent - poetry, short stories, etc. My thinking was (and still is), while I may never intended anyone to read my journals, once I'm dead - who knows! Sometimes the past is better left where it is; I would hate to think that something the 20 or 30 year old me wrote would hurt someone in the future. Sometimes all it takes to wipe out a positive relationship is just one little sentence read and/or remembered.

I may try the online version, though, for some simple stuff. Thanks, catherine!

Edited to add: The Day One app seems to only work on Apple devices. Even the iOS link sends you to screen with message "This app is available only on the App Store for iPhone, iPad, and Apple Watch." But, I am motivated to look for a non-apple version. LOL.

[Tybee]

Does this help at all, happystuff?

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.dayoneapp.dayone&hl=en_US

[happystuff]

Does this help at all, happystuff?

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.dayoneapp.dayone&hl=en_US

Thanks, Tybee! I guess I should have looked around a bit more. LOL. Thanks!

[Tybee]

I'm intrigued by it, that's why I looked. Thanks, Catherine, for the interesting find!

[Rosemary]

Years ago, I wrote in paper journals, but destroyed them when I went to college to keep them from being found and read by anyone. I am a very guarded person, and I don't talk much without thinking about my words in advance, so the idea that someone could read my personal thoughts was a complete deterrent. About 8 years later I finally felt secure enough to write on paper again, and it was a huge relief, but my journals were never as freely written as in my high school days. About 10 years ago I began journaling on an irregular basis in a password-protected word processor file (e.g. Open Office, LibreOffice, Word, etc). Although I like writing on paper, typing is much faster for me and helps me get the thoughts out, and the password protection is really critical for me to just type whatever I'm thinking or feeling.

[happystuff]

I'm like you, Rosemary. I don't do paper any more but may start up with a password Word document. I can add pictures, etc. into it, so it should work for me. I'm also keeping it on a USB drive instead of directly on the computer. Looked at the online journal and I just don't want ANOTHER "something" that requires an id and password, etc.

[GeorgeParker]

I tend to keep a log rather than a journal. All the entries are simple placeholders for noteworthy events like:
[date] Started working at [company] doing [job/function]
[date] Met [person's name] at [place/event]
[date] Backpacking on [trail name]
[date] spent night in trail shelter [very brief summary of something interesting that happened that night or the people I was with]

Many of these entries have since been digitized so I can quickly locate when some random memory took place, and all of them are brief enough that they wouldn't reveal anything secret about me but long enough to trigger memories about what was happening at various times in my life.

Like Tammy, I tend to do my personal musing and self analysis in my head where I know it will stay private.

[iris lilies]

Rather than keep a journal in one place I blather endlessly in digital spaces all over the internet. I can use digital search tools to gather all of my posts in one place, should I wish to do that and re-read my words of wisdom.

I am adjusting my head to the concept of journals that are contained on community platforms.

For instance, Mr. Money Mustache has a journal section where a person’s journal is not indexed by Google. You have to be signed into the website to read journals.

There is a level of “private space “ to those journals that is not afforded to threads out in the community space. Along with these semi-private journals comes the expectation by most that those who post in the journal will be respectful/gentle/even obsequious in “supporting” the journal owner in whatever ideas they have and actions they take even those bordering on batshit crazy.

These private journal spaces very much remind me of people who announce to the room “I don’t like what you’re telling me so I’m gonna go off into my bedroom. Come into my bedroom with me only if you will agree with everything I say.” And then, broadcasting those bedroom interactions on the Internet.

It is such a weird mix of private and public. A mix of echo chamber interactions with opinions from the world.

We live in strange times.

[happystuff]

It is such a weird mix of private and public. A mix of echo chamber interactions with opinions from the world.

We live in strange times.

I am wondering how many "How I Survived COVID-19" books are going to spring up, since so many people seem to be writing about their personal experiences.

[rosarugosa]

Rather than keep a journal in one place I blather endlessly in digital spaces all over the internet. I can use digital search tools to gather all of my posts in one place, should I wish to do that and re-read my words of wisdom.

I am adjusting my head to the concept of journals that are contained on community platforms.

For instance, Mr. Money Mustache has a journal section where a person’s journal is not indexed by Google. You have to be signed into the website to read journals.

There is a level of “private space “ to those journals that is not afforded to threads out in the community space. Along with these semi-private journals comes the expectation by most that those who post in the journal will be respectful/gentle/even obsequious in “supporting” the journal owner in whatever ideas they have and actions they take even those bordering on batshit crazy.

These private journal spaces very much remind me of people who announce to the room “I don’t like what you’re telling me so I’m gonna go off into my bedroom. Come into my bedroom with me only if you will agree with everything I say.” And then, broadcasting those bedroom interactions on the Internet.

It is such a weird mix of private and public. A mix of echo chamber interactions with opinions from the world.

We live in strange times.

It's funny, but I almost never go into the journals on the MMM forum. Sometimes I take a quick peek if the title amuses me enough, just to get a sense of what the person is about. That doesn't mean I need to follow their entire life's story though.

[iris lilies]

98% of the MMM writers are dull. It’s not their fault, they’re just not professional writers.

The few people who write well on MMM and who do interesting things don’t last long because they go off and live their life.

Our own girl Spartana used to be a lot of fun although I don’t know that she had a personal journal. Interestingly enough, the best journal of recent times was another Coast Guard female, Sailor Sam. I love Sailor Sam’s adventures and her writing up of same. She was the best thing in that journal space.

MonkeyJenga, back in her heyday of getting ready to FIRE, was hysterically funny.

The best journals are those of strong personalities who engage in banter with fellow posters.

Arebelspy and his wife FIRED under the age of 30 and
have been traveling the world while popping out children. They don’t post much these days. I have not asked him about his philosophy of producing many kids and that effect on the environment Since some studies show having children is the biggest action you can take in harming the environment. Any question along those lines in a journal would be forbidden, but it would be OK for discussion in a common space.

[catherine]

I've been on discussion boards with journal functions and they never interested me. In my mind, you decide "do I want to share things with people to get their response?" or "Do I want to record my thoughts and experiences privately?" I can't see doing a hybrid at all. When I have thoughts I want to work out in a journal, I don't want any voyeurs.

Just as an aside, the one time being able to access old discussion board posts turned out to be very helpful to me was when my computer wiped out a year and a half of my online private journal entries. I was devastated because there were significant events I had written about in that time period--the move to Vermont, the loss of my dog, etc. So, I went back and copied and pasted a bunch of my posts from this forum and others into my private online journal so that at least SOME information is captured.

But I will NEVER do the reverse and subject you guys to my journal entries!

[happystuff]

This thread has reminded me of Cougar Annie. I think that was this forum... or the previous incarnation. I really enjoyed those posts.

[iris lilies]

This thread has reminded me of Cougar Annie. I think that was this forum... or the previous incarnation. I really enjoyed those posts.
It was the previous incarnation. I don’t think we can access it on the way back machine.


I was not a big fan of Cougar Annie’s journal. I thought it was a little too perfect. Didnt she have a cabin in the woods? It was written by the ?Canadian or NE woman? Who had some kind of tie to Noam Chomsky.

[happystuff]

It was the previous incarnation. I don’t think we can access it on the way back machine.


I was not a big fan of Cougar Annie’s journal. I thought it was a little too perfect. Didnt she have a cabin in the woods? It was written by the ?Canadian or NE woman? Who had some kind of tie to Noam Chomsky.

I don't remember who wrote it, but do remember it was a cabin in the woods and various experiences through the different seasons.

[Tradd]

My diving thread here is a sort of journal.

[happystuff]

My diving thread here is a sort of journal.

I never thought of it as a journal - but as you graciously sharing your experiences, but I guess it sort of is.

[iris lilies]

My diving thread here is a sort of journal.yes that is true. But at least you allow me to express the occasional fearful thought about cave diving. You don’t forbid those thoughts. Those thoughts are from my own fear and have a little to do with you. I can’t say that I like the idea of ice diving but I but I didn’t talk about that!

[Tradd]

yes that is true. But at least you allow me to express the occasional fearful thought about cave diving. You don’t forbid those thoughts. Those thoughts are from my own fear and have a little to do with you. I can’t say that I like the idea of ice diving but I but I didn’t talk about that!

:)

[Tybee]

I don't remember who wrote it, but do remember it was a cabin in the woods and various experiences through the different seasons.

I don't remember anything about Noam Chomsky, just that Cougar Annie wrote as though reporting on her real life, and it was all made up, invented. That was the scandal, that the forum had been taken.